A Ghostly Grave

by Tonya Kappes

  The only thing in there was a stack of magazines. Cock and Feathers magazines to be exact.

  “You wanted me to look in here, so help me.” I glanced around the room to see if he was there.

  “Hurry! She’s coming back in.” Chicken gestured me to hurry. “Grab the magazines. You need the magazines.”

  “And how do I do that?” I quietly shut the door back when I heard Marla Maria’s heels coming up to the back door. I stood up.

  “I have no idea what is going on with that crazy hen, but I do know I can’t wait until I can get out of here.” Marla Maria eyed me. “What were you doing in here?”

  “I . . . I . . .” I stuttered and picked up a brochure that was sitting on the entertainment center next to the TV. “I was looking at your brochure.”

  Marla Maria’s demeanor did a complete turnaround. She clapped her hands together and bolted toward me, wrapping my hands in hers.

  She darted her head back and forth. Her eyes scanned me up and down.

  “I’d never taken you for a beauty queen, but you might have what it takes.” She brushed my hair with her fingernails. “You do have some sort of underlying beauty no matter what Chicken did say about you.”

  “What did he say?” I glanced over her shoulder and darted a glare toward Chicken. He was fidgety, as he should’ve been. I rolled one eyebrow up when I caught his attention.

  “He always said Charlotte was the prettier of you two. You know he was good friends with your daddy.” Marla Maria continued to put my hair up in all sorts of makeshift updos. “But you have a natural beauty, and judges love that. Especially at your age.”

  “I didn’t say I wanted to be a beauty queen.”

  “What about the Orloff Queen?” Chicken nodded ferociously.

  “Then why were you so interested in my brochure?” Marla Maria cocked her head. “I’m planning on opening a beauty school where I teach girls how to walk, talk, eat and be queens.”

  I looked at the brochure in my hand and read the first line, “Marla Maria’s School of Beauty.” My mouth formed an O. “Beauty Queen School for all ages?” I read the tagline.

  “Yes.” Marla Maria snatched the brochure out of my hands. “There are pageants all over the world for all ages.”

  “Orloff Queen!” Chicken stomped his feet. “There is an Orloff Queen at the state pageant, which is tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow?” I spouted aloud and clamped my mouth when I realized what I had done.

  “Tomorrow is the pageant for the state Orloff competition.” She tapped her chin before her long red fingernail, looking more like a dagger, came toward my face and made a swirly around my brows. “How did you know about the pageant?”

  “I read an issue of Cock and Feather magazine at Doc Clyde’s place and instantly thought about you and how respected you are in the pageant community.” If she loved compliments, I was going to give them to her. “But I’m sure it’s too late for me to enter the beauty pageant.”

  “It’s a little fair pageant.” She dropped her claws from my face and clasped them in front of her. “You can enter as soon as you get there. But we can’t have you going like that.” She twirled her finger in front of my face. “Maybe you should take my spot in the chair at Girl’s Best Friend.”

  “I have an appointment today.” I couldn’t believe I was about to agree to do a chicken pageant when I knew nothing about chickens. Not to mention putting myself in danger of being in the presence of a killer. At least I was getting somewhere when the police department was getting nowhere. “But I only wish I could get my hands on some of the Cock and Feather magazines.”

  “Oh honey,” Marla Maria’s hand swiped the air. “I’ve got plenty down there in that cabinet.” She pointed to the door underneath the TV. “Help yourself.”

  “Hot damn!” Chicken screamed. “Take them all and hold them from the bottom.”

  “Great!” I bent down and opened the cabinet. I did exactly what Chicken had told me to do and held the heavy stack of magazines close to me. “I’ll look through them and prepare myself before tomorrow.”

  “That is thinking like a real winner.” Marla Maria draped her arm around my shoulder and opened the brochure with the other hand. “Chicken has this little piece of property in Lexington that I will inherit when Lady dies, and I’m going to open up a fancy pageant school there. Right now I rent a spot underneath my brother’s doctor’s office.”

  “Beauty-­pageant school.” Chicken shuffled his feet. “Stupidest thing I have ever heard and I told her that too.”

  “Your brother is a doctor?” I asked and peeled myself from underneath her arm. A beauty pageant school might be one of the stupidest things he had ever heard of but it was a motive to get her hands on the property. People did weird things to make their dreams come true. Marla Maria was no different.

  “Oh yeah.” Marla Maria sashayed to the kitchen. She opened the freezer and took out some ice cubes to put in a glass before she poured some tea into it. Chicken stood next to her with envy in his eyes. “Jeremy is the smart one and I’m the pretty one.” She winked and took a long drink.

  Jeremy? My mind rolled back to my conversation with Vernon. Doctor Jeremy Finkel was the doctor who signed off on Chicken’s death certificate.

  I hugged the magazines tighter to my chest as the lump of “oh crap” made its way to the pit of my stomach. Of course, the doctor was part of this whole grand scheme.

  I could just see it now. Marla Maria filed for divorce before she knew about the property. Chicken begged her to stay by giving her the agreement. With Chicken out of the way, Marla Maria could slowly neglect Lady Cluckington and she’d die. That would leave Marla Maria free reign of the property to build her dream of owning and operating a beauty-­pageant school and no one would ever suspect she killed him. Certainly, her brother wasn’t going to turn her in. I would put money on it that he was getting some sort of payback from her pageant school.

  “Anyway, you need to go so I can get to my appointment with Mary Anna Hardy.” She put her hands on my shoulders and steered me toward the door. “I’ll tell her what I want her to do with your brows and hair. You meet me here tomorrow morning at 6 A.M. We have to get on the road. I’ll have an outfit for you.”

  She stepped back and looked me over from head to toe. She gestured for me to turn around. I twirled.

  She rubbed her chin. “Are you a size six?” I nodded. “Goody! I just might bring home two beauty queens tomorrow!” There was way too much excitement in her voice. “See you in the morning.”

  I left without saying anything to her because I was speechless. The killer was right here and I had to tell Jack Henry.

  Chapter 14

  Jack, you have to call me as soon as you get this message.” I knew he was with a half-­out-­of-­it O’Dell Burns, which I’m sure was painful for Jack Henry. O’Dell was difficult to be around when he hadn’t been a victim of a murderer, so I couldn’t imagine how he would be, knowing he had been a target and lived. “See if O’Dell has any pre-­need funeral information.” I chuckled. “Okay, that might have been bad form.” I probably shouldn’t have made a joke, but it was too good to resist. Just because he had been stabbed didn’t mean there was going to be a truce to our long-­standing family feud. “I have to give you some very important information. The doctor who signed off on Chicken Teater’s death cer—­”

  Beep. Beep.

  I pulled the phone away from my ear. It had died and I didn’t have a charger to plug it into. I threw it in the passenger seat just in time for Chicken to appear next to me in his usual spot with his arm draped over my shoulder.

  “I can’t wait to see you all dolled up as a beauty queen.” He laughed. “She will have you looking just like her.”

  “Apparently, you don’t think I’m as pretty as Charlotte.” Questioning him about the doctor was more important, but I w
as still a girl, and my feelings were hurt. Especially since I was the one helping him, not Charlotte.

  “Oh, you can’t believe everything Marla Maria tells you,” he quipped.

  “I can’t?” I questioned. “If that is the case, then you need to go right back up to the big guy,” I pointed to the sky, “and maybe he is the reason you can’t cross over.”

  Cough, cough. Chicken covered his mouth as if he were choking on his own spit. “Okay. Fine. I might have said something about Charlotte. But you have grown into your own.” He nodded.

  “I don’t know what that means. So I’m going to concentrate on getting you to the other side and I think Marla and Jeremy are in on it.” I glanced over at the magazines I had stuck on the floorboard. “What’s with those anyway?”

  “You have to pick up the first three copies,” he said.

  At the next stoplight before the town square, I bent down and did what he told me to do. Underneath the first three issues, he had glued the rest together and cut a hole in the middle big enough for some old VHS tapes.

  “There are three videotapes in there from me videotaping everything going on around my house the week before I died. There has to be something on there to help us peg Marla Maria for sure.”

  “I believe Marla Maria is deep into your death like she is in makeup, but she’s taking care of Lady and putting her in the pageant along with me tomorrow, and holding up her end of the agreement.” I smacked my hand on the wheel. “I forgot to ask about the agreement.”

  “Marla Maria has a way of turning on the charm and making people forget all sorts of things.” He grinned. “I think you lost your marbles agreeing to be in the Orloff pageant.”

  “I must have.” I looked down at the tapes again before the light turned green. “Granny has one of those old tape players and I need to see her anyway.”

  I turned the hearse down the street that ran alongside the square near the Inn and pulled into the gravel lot for Inn customers only. There were a lot people on the Inn’s front porch enjoying the local bluegrass band playing in the gazebo across the street. They didn’t pay any attention to the big flashing sign in the Inn’s yard with Granny’s picture printed on it telling people to vote for Zula Fae Raines Payne for Mayor. Mable Claire and Beulah were passing out some sort of button to people walking by. Little did they realize, half the people they were targeting weren’t even Sleepy Hollow residents. They didn’t care. As long as their lips were moving, they were happy.

  “Get in here.” Granny rushed me through the front door of the Inn and back to the kitchen, where she had a big pot of chili on the stove. “What’s in your hand?”

  “I wanted to know if I could use that old VHS tape player of yours to watch some of these old tapes I found.” I held them tight in fear Granny would grab one and take off with it.

  “Sure.” Granny poured me a glass of iced tea and gestured for me to sit at the old farm table. I did what she wanted and waited to see what she had to say. I could tell she was about to explode by how fast she stirred the chili. “You have got to stop going around and threatening people. Beulah was trying to get close to O’Dell so she could get in Burns Funeral to find my moped. We were going to expose him for being a thief. Who would want a thief as their mayor?”

  Granny posed a good question.

  “Granny, how was I to know? You know I don’t like anyone talking about my family. Especially O’Dell Burns.” I picked up the tea and took a long sip. Chicken appeared next to me.

  “I just want a sip.” He licked his lips.

  “You were the one that was caught breaking and entering at his place and slandering him for saying he was going to ban scooters.” I stated the facts. Facts were facts when it came to crimes. That was why it was important for me to see what was on the tapes.

  “What are you two doing?” Jack Henry stood at the kitchen door. He looked so handsome in his uniform. His dark eyes made my heart melt.

  “We are talking about getting a bowl of chili.” Granny gave me the stink eye. I knew not to tell him what we were really talking about until she left the room. Then I’d spill my guts.

  “Did you get my message?” I asked. “You need to check out the doctor who signed off on the death certificate.” I winked.

  “Why are you getting involved in Chicken Teater’s death?” Granny asked and looked between us. “You better not be using my granddaughter for any sort of police work because she is not trained to do that. She is a certified mortician.”

  The word mortician gave me the heebies. I’d much rather be called an undertaker.

  “I’ll call you later.” Jack Henry’s eyes met mine and then slid to Granny. “Zula, can you come down to the station to answer a few questions about your whereabouts last night? I also need to talk to you about trying to get into Burns Funeral Home.”

  “Here we go again.” Granny held her wrists out in front of her. This wasn’t her first time going down to the Sleepy Hollow police department to answer questions about a murder. “Emma Lee was here last night when O’Dell was attacked. Ask her.”

  “I know that is what you two said, but I have to get a formal statement.” He reached out and touched Granny. “I’m not going to cuff you. Just come quietly and you will be back soon.”

  Granny and Jack Henry walked toward the door. Jack Henry turned around.

  “I will follow up on that lead. Thank you.” He winked back. It was hard for me to get mad at him for questioning a little old lady, although Granny was far from acting old, but I knew it was his job. “And dinner . . .” he hesitated.

  “Don’t worry.” I smiled, knowing he was about to cancel. “I know you have a lot of investigating to do. I’ll text you.” That was our signal for him to know I had some information he might need. I actually had a lot of information, but some of it was speculation and I knew he wouldn’t follow a lead on speculation. Jeremy and Marla Maria were siblings. There was no speculation on that. It was probably a good place for him to start.

  “And that tape player is in my bedroom.” Granny nodded. “I’ll be back soon.”

  I smiled, knowing she’d be back soon because she hadn’t touched O’Dell Burns, even though we both had dreamed of it.

  The clock on the kitchen wall said I had just enough time to pop in one of the tapes before my hair appointment with Mary Anna at Girl’s Best Friend Spa. I could see what I was dealing with and while Mary Anna was doing my hair, I could try to concentrate on my game plan just in case Jack Henry hadn’t solved the crime by the time the pageant rolled around.

  After making my way up the steps to Granny’s room at the Inn, I shut the door behind me. Chicken had already beaten me up the stairs and was sitting comfortably in Granny’s lounger.

  “Ready for the show?” Chicken rubbed his hands together in delight.

  “I guess.” I fiddled with a few buttons on the old TV that had the built-­in VHS player. It had been a very long time since I had touched this thing. I popped the tape in and immediately it started to play.

  I stepped back and eased myself onto Granny’s bed, never taking my eyes off the screen. Marla Maria darted around the house while Chicken stayed in his comfy chair, Lady Cluckington sitting next to him.

  “She’s a beaut.” He referred to Lady every time she was in the picture.

  I had to admit, Lady was much cleaner when Chicken was alive. Her red and white feathers were spotless.

  “Red and white feathers?” I stood up and hit the PAUSE button. “Lady Cluckington has red and white feathers. Not a streak of gold in them.”

  “Wow! You can see.” Chicken said with a smart-­aleck tone.

  “The feather we found in Granny’s kitchen is streaked with gold and black. There isn’t a speck of red on it.” I paced back and forth. “That means that someone else is involved.”

  “And not Marla Maria?” Chicken asked with a hopef
ul tone in his voice.

  I bit my lip. “I really thought I had this thing figured out. But what if there was someone at the pageants that wanted to knock you off the winner’s block? Someone with a gold-­and-­black chicken?”

  “I don’t recall an Orloff with gold in it.” Chicken shook his head. “Marla Maria killed me. Look at her.” He shoved his hand toward the TV.

  I pushed PLAY. He was right. Marla Maria showed her distaste for Lady Cluckington but I couldn’t be so sure she killed Chicken.

  “What about Jeremy and all that?” Chicken began to protest. He spouted off everything we had already dug up. “What about the agreement? You even said it was a good motive.”

  “But would the real killer try to pin all the evidence on Marla Maria to get the heat off their own back?” I didn’t know if I truly believed what I was saying, but it sounded like something out of CSI and it sounded pretty darn good.

  “What are you going to do about it?” Chicken asked.

  “Well, I’m going to go get my hair done.” I bit at my nails and took the cassette out of the player. The others were going to have to wait, because it was time to get my hair all fluffed up for my beauty-­queen debut. “Then I’m going to do the pageant tomorrow and see if there is anyone suspicious around. If someone wanted to kill you, then maybe they will be there.”

  I knew it was a long shot but it was all I had. Marla Maria was still the prime suspect and she hadn’t let Lady Cluckington be shown at any fairs over the last ­couple of years. I had a feeling that I was about to find out all sorts of answers to my questions come pageant time.

  Chapter 15

  There she is,” Mary Anna sang from the top of her lungs from behind her client’s head when I walked into Girl’s Best Friend Spa, “Miss Chicken Queen.” This was followed by a roomful of applause coming from women underneath the dryers and in the styling chairs.

  I did my best princess wave before I bent down into a full curtsey only to land square on my butt.