Love and Payne

by Charlie Cochet

  “Uncle Zach talks about them a lot,” Caley said excitedly. “He says they have big, grumpy Felid Therians and one of them is Human who’s always stealing his cheesy doodles.” Caley shook his head and wagged a finger. “Stealing is bad.”

  Austen let out a bark of laughter, knowing exactly who Caley was talking about. “I know that guy.” Dex stealing Zach’s cheesy doodles was how Dex had been introduced to his team and the man who would become his husband, Sloane. Man, that seemed like a lifetime ago.

  “Why does he steal Uncle Zach’s snack?”

  “Don’t worry. It’s just a game they play. They’re actually friends. Also, I play the same game with your Uncle Zach,” Austen replied, waggling his eyebrows and making Caley giggle.

  “You do?”

  Austen nodded and finished his toast. When he was done, he wiped his mouth with his napkin and turned back to Caley. “Strength doesn’t always mean big muscles like your daddy’s or even Uncle Zach’s. It means being brave and smart.” He tapped the side of his head. “It means being able to do what others can’t. And just because you’re small doesn’t mean you can’t hold your own against someone as big as your daddy.”

  “You mean you can beat Daddy in a fight?”

  Austen nodded. “But I only fight if I have to.”

  “That’s bull.”

  They looked up at the doorway, where Ramsey stood with arms crossed over his chest. He was big, solid, and full of fourteen-year-old teenage smugness.

  “Language,” Iona scolded, arching her eyebrow.

  Ramsey’s cheeks flushed. “Sorry, Nan.” He turned back to Caley and Austen and jutted his chin up. “There’s no way anyone can take down Uncle Colin, especially someone as small as that guy. He’s lying.”

  “Ramsey!” Iona planted her hands on her hips. “Manners.”

  “But it’s true,” Ramsey whined. “He shouldn’t get Caley’s hopes up.”

  Caley’s bottom lip jutted out, and he turned tearful eyes on Austen. “That’s not true. You can too do it.” His face crumbled, and he let out a wail that made Austen jump. Holy shit, the kid had some pipes on him. What the fuck just happened? One minute they were talking; next thing he knew, Caley had been replaced by a tiny banshee with a shriek that could make Austen’s ears bleed. Even so, Austen was stunned by the speed at which Colin appeared in the kitchen. The guy had been nowhere in sight, but somehow his cub’s distress call had reached him, and there he was scooping Caley up into his arms.

  “What happened, sweetheart?” Colin asked, shooting Austen an accusing glare.

  “Ramsey said—” Hiccup. “—that Austen—” Hiccup. “—couldn’t beat you.”

  Colin opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. He turned a questioning look to his mother, who seemed to be having a silent exchange with her son before speaking up.

  “Ramsey told Caley he couldn’t be a THIRDS agent like his daddy because he’s not big or strong enough. Austen said strength comes in many forms.”

  Colin’s brows shot up near his hairline, and Austen chuckled. He sat up in his seat when Colin turned to face him. Seeming to shake himself out of it, Colin dried his son’s tears with his thumb. “Austen is right. You don’t have to be as big as Daddy to be strong, baby. Your mom’s not a Therian, but she’s still very strong.”

  “It’s not the same,” Caley cried. He buried his face in Colin’s neck, and Austen saw the heartache in Colin’s face. Something else was going on, something he wasn’t aware of, and was clearly a source of much pain for Caley and his parents.

  “It’s going to be okay,” Colin murmured, kissing the side of Caley’s head. “We talked about this. You can be anything you want to be.”

  Caley shook his head, not having any of it. His little shoulders shook as he cried, and Colin headed off toward the living room, talking quietly with Caley in an effort to console him. Iona turned to Ramsey and thrust a finger out.

  “The naughty step.”

  “But I didn’t do anything,” Ramsey argued, stomping his foot. “It’s the truth!”

  “Now,” Iona stated firmly.

  Ramsey spun, grumbling under his breath as he marched out of the kitchen. Iona let out a heavy sigh, and Austen turned to her with a frown.

  “What was that about?”

  Her expression softened, and she gazed out to the living room, where Colin sat on the couch with Caley, rubbing circles on his back.

  “Caley was born prematurely, and although he’s a strong little boy, stronger than a Human little boy, the doctor said he will always be small for his classification. It’s a difficult thing to hear when you’re a bear Therian. Every classification of Therian takes pride in their natural gifts. Felid Therians are the fiercest, Canid Therians the most astute, bear Therians the strongest. It’s even more difficult when your daddy is your hero and you know you’ll never be as strong as him.”

  “That doesn’t make him weak,” Austen replied quietly, feeling a sting in the back of his eyes.

  Iona studied him. “I’m sorry?”

  “I said that doesn’t make him weak.” Austen jumped from his chair and stormed into the living room. “Okay, everyone up.”

  Sheena sat beside Colin on the couch, cooing over her baby. The two of them stared at Austen. He ignored the fact that Zach’s father, his brothers, sisters, and their significant others were now in the expansive living room, including a sleepy-looking Zach, with his hair sticking up in every direction. Austen was certainly going to ignore the way his pajama bottoms clung low on his hips, and the way his gray T-shirt stretched over his impossibly wide chest. Damn it. Jesus, no wonder the poor kid was developing a complex. There wasn’t one Zachary male who wasn’t a towering wall of muscles.

  “What’s going on?” Gavin, Zach’s father, asked, looking around curiously.

  “Colin and I are going to spar,” Austen said, aware of the room plunging into silence as everyone’s eyes widened.

  “Are you out of your mind?” Colin handed Caley off to his mother, but Caley wriggled free and ran over to Austen and jumped up and down excitedly on his toes.

  “Are you really?”

  “Yes,” Austen said, looking up at Colin, his lips curling into a wicked grin. “I promise not to hurt your daddy too much.”

  Ramsey let out a snort from where he sat on the stairs across the room. “Please. Uncle Colin will lose on purpose so Caley thinks Austen’s won.”

  Caley’s bottom lip trembled, and Boyd rounded on his son. “Hey, what have I told you about supporting your cousin?”

  Ramsey stood and stomped over to his dad. Little shit. “All you guys are doing is making things worse for him. He’s going to think he can do anything when he can’t, and then one day it’ll get him hurt!”

  “Hey,” Austen snapped, startling Ramsey, who turned his defiant glare on Austen. “Your cousin can do anything, and I’m going to prove it.” He dropped to one knee in front of Caley, and put his hands on his small shoulders. “When I was your age, I was just as small, but I didn’t have anyone to look out for me like you do. I got pushed around and beat up a lot, but you know what I learned?”

  “What?” Caley asked almost reverently.

  “That I was the one in charge of my destiny. I got to choose who I was, and I wasn’t going to be weak.” He stood and narrowed his eyes at the Zachary brood. “Move these couches and anything breakable out of the way.”

  “Absolutely not. This is ridiculous,” Colin said. “Violence isn’t the answer.”

  “You’re right. It isn’t, and you shouldn’t fight just because you can, only when it’s necessary. This isn’t about that. This is about showing your son that he decides who he’s going to be, and no one else.”

  Sheena put her hand on her husband’s arm and moved her concerned gaze to Austen. “You promise you won’t hurt him?”

  Colin gaped at his wife. “Really, babe?”

  Sheena narrowed her eyes and folded her arms over her ample chest.

  Colin
cleared his throat. “Fine. Let’s make this quick.” He put his hand to Caley’s head, drawing the little boy’s attention. “And if Austen doesn’t win, that doesn’t mean he’s weak, yeah? It just means he’s a different kind of strong.”

  Caley looked from Colin to Austen, who winked at him. Caley’s face split in a huge smile. “Okay, Daddy.”

  “Come over here, kiddo,” Bram said, and lifted Caley into his arms as everyone rearranged the furniture, giving them a large area to work with. Once the floor was clear, they all moved to the sides of the room and out of the way.

  Austen rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck. He removed his sweater—staying in his black V-neck T-shirt—and tossed it over to Zach, who caught it, his expression bemused.

  “Hold that for me, will you, handsome?”

  Zach’s cheeks blushed the cutest pink, drawing everyone’s attention. He coughed into his hand and nodded at Austen.

  With a smirk, Austen turned back to Colin. “Don’t worry, big guy. I won’t bruise that pretty face of yours. Only your ego.”

  Colin arched an eyebrow at him. “Aren’t we sure of ourselves.”

  Austen shrugged. “Just stating a fact.”

  Colin rolled his sleeves up, and they slowly circled each other. Austen wasn’t stupid. Colin was a trained THIRDS agent, and bear Therians were way faster than they looked. They might not be as fast as Felids, but they could do zero to thirty in seconds, and when Colin’s right foot moved, Austen knew he was about to prove it. Colin shot forward like a bullet, but Austen was already moving. He ducked under Colin’s fist, rolled, and used Colin to give his body the momentum he needed to launch himself up onto Colin’s shoulders, his legs wrapping around Colin’s neck. With a growl, Colin grabbed Austen’s thighs and pried him free. Before Colin could make a grab for him, Austen used Colin’s wide shoulders like a pommel horse and swung his legs behind him and up, momentarily balancing himself on his hands before planting his feet against Colin’s back and launching himself into a backward flip, landing gracefully on his feet.

  “What the hell?” Colin twisted to glare at him before taking off toward him again. Austen darted for the couch at the end of the room, jumped on the cushion, hopped on the armrest, and vaulted over Colin, who’d made a grab for him. Austen rolled when he landed, then popped up in front of Zach, taking his sweater.

  “Thanks, babe.” He wrapped the sleeves around his wrists, ducked under Colin’s right hook, rolled, entwined his legs with Colin’s, tripping him and bringing him down onto the carpet. Not wasting a second, Austen whipped his sweater, twisted, and turned it around Colin’s wrists. He gave it a jerk with one hand, bringing Colin’s arms up and over his head, while he snagged Colin’s belt with the other and jerked him up onto his knees. Austen bent Colin, his body bowing over Austen’s knee, which was digging into his spine.

  “Stop,” Colin growled, wincing at the pain. “I give! Stop.”

  Austen released Colin and got to his feet, laughing despite being out of breath. He was moving away when he noticed the silence. Everyone was gaping at him. Feeling a little self-conscious at the attention, Austen rubbed his neck. “So, uh, yeah. Demonstration over.”

  Caley’s delighted squeal broke the silence, and Bram put him on his feet. He dashed over to Austen, jumping up and down excitedly. “That was awesome! Oh my gosh, the way you flew through the air all like whoosh, and then flipped, and holy cow!”

  Austen laughed at Caley’s enthusiasm and sound effects as he went a mile a minute about Austen’s acrobatics. Zach joined them, an odd expression in his sparkling amber eyes, and his gentle smile wide. It almost looked like… pride. No, that couldn’t be right. Zach knelt in front of Caley and ruffled his hair.

  “Remember, Austen has worked very hard to be able to do what he does. He’s been training a really long time, and it’s taken a lot of discipline, drive, and sacrifice to be that good. He’s also very clever up here,” Zach said, tapping the side of his head. “Which means stopping to think so you make the right decisions.”

  Austen blinked at Zach, surprised by his very sincere praise. Caley nodded fervently at his uncle, who patted his bottom. “Now go see how your dad is. He did pretty awesome against Austen, don’t you think?”

  Austen looked up at Colin, worried the guy’s ego might have taken a nasty blow. Colin was such a proud man; Austen didn’t think what his loss might do to him, or how his family might see him. Shit, what if he’d really fucked things up for Colin and his family? The last thing he wanted was to hurt them. The sound of Colin’s laughter startled Austen.

  “Are you okay, Daddy?” Caley asked, taking Colin’s face in his little hands. “You were so awesome!”

  “I did pretty good against the superagent, didn’t I?” Colin said, smiling wide before kissing Caley’s nose. “He’s like a ninja. I fought a ninja. He’s like you when your mommy tries to put you to bed, doing somersaults and big jumps.”

  Caley giggled as Colin tickled him. Austen was confused. He dared to look up at Sheena, who had tears in her eyes. She mouthed the words “thank you” to him before dropping to her knees to hug her boys. When Colin’s siblings surrounded him, Austen straightened, waiting for them to tell him how disappointed in him they were that he’d been beat by Austen.

  “Damn, bro. I didn’t know you were so flexible,” Bram teased.

  “Must be why Sheena likes him so much,” Edan said with a wink, dodging Colin’s attempt to grab his leg.

  “Shut up,” Colin growled playfully, holding on to Caley with one hand while trying to trip his brother up with the other. “And we all know I lasted way longer than you would have.”

  “Maybe, but I wouldn’t have gone down as quick as Alastair.”

  Alastair, Boyd’s twin, gave a sniff, but there was amusement in his eyes. His husband, Coby, ran a finger down Alastair’s arm. “Believe me, Al’s plenty flexible.”

  The room burst into laughter and teasing as Gavin helped his son to his feet, patting him on the shoulder, and Austen could see how proud Gavin was of his son. An arm came around Austen’s shoulders, and he tilted his head up, confused.

  “I don’t get it.”

  “What’s that?” Zach asked softly.

  “Why aren’t they mad? Colin lost. And to someone smaller than himself.”

  Zach shook his head. “Colin held his own against a TIN operative. That’s pretty amazing.”

  Austen pursed his lips. He hadn’t thought of it that way. “So… they’re okay with it?”

  “Yeah. We’re his family, and we love him. Why wouldn’t we support him and celebrate his successes?”

  Austen opened his mouth, but suddenly they were surrounded by Zacharys.

  “That was freaking amazing,” Una said before launching into a billion questions. Everyone joined in, patting him on the shoulder, praising him, telling him how amazing he was, asking him what his job was like, his training, did he know martial arts. The room started to close in on him, and he opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

  “All right, that’s enough,” Gavin announced, putting a stop to the noise. “Give the poor fellow some room to breathe.” He chuckled and started playfully shoving his sons away. “Go on.”

  They all dispersed, leaving Austen and Zach. Gavin smiled warmly and held his hand out to Austen, who took it, puzzled.

  “That was damn impressive, son. I wanted to say thank you for your service. I’m proud to have young men like you protecting our country.”

  Austen sucked in a sharp breath, tears pooling in his eyes. “Thank you, sir. Excuse me, I need to go.”

  Gavin nodded, slightly puzzled, but took a step back, and Austen made his escape, ignoring Zach calling out after him. Like a coward, he ran into his room and locked the door behind him. He fell against it, his eyes closed and his heart pounding in his ears.

  “Austen?”

  Zach’s voice was soft and muffled by the door, but Austen heard him clearly.

  “He meant it. Every wor
d.”

  Why? What could a good man, a true hero like Gavin Zachary, know about Austen? If he really knew Austen, knew what he’d done, how dark and empty his soul was, he’d never have said those words. He’d never have said what he had, or called him… son.

  Austen couldn’t let them get to him, couldn’t let them give him false hopes. It would only lead to disappointment. No one could be that good, and if they were, Austen wouldn’t infect them with his poison. His eyes stung, and he blinked away the tears when he thought back to his parents. He’d been eight years old when they’d thrown him away. Rage and the will to survive kept him from dying in the gutter all those years ago. That night, he promised himself he’d never let anyone hurt him again. Fuck this maudlin shit.

  This wasn’t his family, wasn’t even his world. This was an op like any other. That’s it.

  CHAPTER 7

  ZACH LET his brow rest against the closed door with a heavy sigh.

  “Son, leave him be.”

  His father’s soft words had Zach reluctantly moving away. He took one last glance at the door in the hopes Austen might open it. When nothing happened, he followed his father down the stairs to the kitchen. Everyone had moved the furniture back, and most of his siblings had gone off except for Colin, Bram, and Edan. They looked up at him when he entered the kitchen.

  “He okay?” Edan asked.

  Zach ran a hand through his hair as he sat at the counter next to Edan. “I don’t know.”

  “What happened?” Colin asked, his frown deep. “He was fine one minute, and the next he was taking off like someone set his tail on fire. Felids are so weird.”

  “I’m afraid that was my fault,” Gavin said, drawing their mom into his arms to give her cheek a kiss. “I think I spooked him.” Their dad relayed what he’d said, and Colin shook his head.

  “I don’t get it,” Zach said with a sigh. “Why would that make him run?”

  Iona left their dad’s side to step beside Zach and run her fingers through his hair. “Oh, honey, that boy has a lot of hurt in him. Please be careful.”