What a Goddess Wants

by Stephanie Julian

  He hoped the bastard relived Juliana’s death every night. That was the only thing that had stopped Cal from killing Pavor after she’d stepped in front of an assassin’s knife meant for Cal.

  He’d wanted Pavor to suffer. And, from the looks of him, he had.

  He’d lost his hair and most of his eyesight, if that blank stare was anything to go by. His flesh hung on his big frame after massive weight loss in the eighty or so years since Cal had left. Every breath Pavor took appeared painful, and every movement looked like agony.

  Sometimes the fates were good. That bastard deserved to rot in whatever hell he landed in.

  Juliana had never wanted Cal, though he’d thought he was in love with her. She’d been merely an obedient daughter, a pawn in Pavor’s games. And she’d let herself be killed rather than mate with Cal.

  He’d failed Juliana. He wouldn’t fail Tessa.

  “A war with Charun would condemn us all to death.”

  Cuspis finally shut his mouth and leaned back in his chair to stare at Cal. Cuspis didn’t bother to check the mood of the other Elders, secure in his control. He fully expected Cal to bow and scrape as well.

  But, as Cuspis had said earlier, Cal had been away for too many years.

  Cal stood, and every single man in the room followed his actions. He let his lips pull into a smile and watched Cuspis’s expression slowly fade into wary watchfulness.

  Yeah, you just keep watching, you bastard.

  “I don’t think you understand why I’m here, gentlemen.” Cal used that word deliberately, rather than address them as Elders. “I’m not asking your permission. I’ve accepted the task of protecting Thesan, and I’m not going to go back on my word. There was a time when the Cimmerians wouldn’t have backed down from a fight, especially one like this. But you’ve gotten old. And fat.”

  A collective gasp rose from the men, who sounded more like a coffee klatch of old women than once-powerful men. But none of them stood to challenge Cal. Because they knew they couldn’t. He’d cut them down in seconds.

  “Thesan requested my aid, and I will not allow a rabid god to take her.”

  “But you’re fighting a losing battle, Caligo.” Aestus shook his head. He was the only one who’d spoken against Pavor when he’d attempted to assassinate Cal. “You can’t go up against a god and win.”

  Cal opened his mouth but his father beat him to it. “Not alone, no. I believe if we can hit at Charun’s front line hard enough, maybe he’ll back the fuck off and leave Thesan alone.”

  His father’s quietly spoken words threw the council into an uproar, and Cal watched them bicker amongst themselves.

  His dad had actually come up with a plan, and he’d been the one to suggest they approach the council for help. Not that Diritas thought the Elders would agree but he’d said they needed to be paid lip service.

  Cal had been more than a little stunned that his father had agreed to back him. Diritas was in line for a council position when one of these geezers dropped over, and Cal had never expected his father to commit what amounted to career suicide.

  Yet here Diritas stood, arguing on Cal’s behalf. He wondered if his father would still be fighting for him if Cal had told him about Tessa’s effect on him.

  Would he consider Cal flawed? A failure?

  Cal considered it a gift. One he’d fight to the death to keep. Even if that meant being banished from Cimmeria forever.

  “Cal! She’s gone! Tessa’s gone.”

  Cal spun toward X’s voice and saw his brother running toward him through the meeting hall.

  The bottom dropped out of his stomach as his brain processed X’s words.

  “No—”

  “Mom went to check on her after I came over from Frentani’s, and she was gone. I looked for her but I couldn’t find—”

  Cal was already halfway to the exit. He knew exactly where to go.

  The gate to Aitás.

  Behind him, he heard his brother and his father, their footsteps pounding in rhythm as they tried to keep up with him. They couldn’t. Cal left them behind in a minute. His heart raced as adrenaline flooded his system.

  He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t.

  Yet he knew sometimes there just wasn’t anything anyone could do to affect the outcome of a shit storm.

  ***

  Tessa didn’t know how long the demon ran, but it didn’t seem far before they stopped.

  Which didn’t seem quite fair. In the movies, the trip to the heroine’s doom took forever and the hero always got there to save her before anything really bad happened to her.

  But here she was, hanging over a blue demon’s shoulder and paralyzed because she’d been stupid enough to fall asleep and let Charun invade her dreams.

  Cal probably had no idea she was gone. However she’d left the house, it hadn’t seemed to raise any alarms. By the time Cal discovered she was missing, she’d probably be wasting away to nothing in Aitás, her powers consumed and Charun one goddess closer to getting free.

  She frowned… Well, she tried to frown, but she was still paralyzed. Leave it to Charun to know that the only poison that would work on a goddess would come from a Tukhulkha demon.

  She wondered if Cal would mourn her.

  She already mourned him. She’d actually hoped to spend a few hundred years with Cal. Hell, she wanted to spend an eternity with him. But no. She’d lived up to her blonde bubble-head image and been scooped up like a white rabbit on green grass.

  The demon stopped abruptly and dropped Tessa on the ground in front of a large rock that stuck out of the earth like the jagged tooth of some long-dead monster. Good thing she couldn’t feel anything because that probably would have hurt.

  The boulder stood at least eight feet tall and held faint markings. Etruscan runes, she realized. They formed a spell entreating the god of Aitás to welcome those who sought entrance to the Afterworld.

  “Last stop, Thesan.” The demon looked over its shoulder. The mist behind them seemed to be growing darker. The sun must be setting in the outside world. At least Tessa couldn’t feel the drain on her powers anymore.

  “Sun’ll be down soon,” the demon affirmed. “Better get a move on.”

  The demon leaned forward to place its hands on the rock, muttering a spell in the long-dead Etruscan language. The demon’s guttural voice hid the beauty of the ancient words but none of the power.

  The earth rumbled and shook as the demon chanted. As Tessa watched, the rock began to quiver and shake until finally it disappeared.

  In its place stood a jagged hole. Beyond it, Tessa saw only darkness. She’d never been to Aitás. Not once in her very long life. She’d never had any desire.

  And now she had no choice.

  Tessa flinched and realized she could move her fingers and toes.

  Too little, too late. And isn’t that a sad commentary on my life.

  Closing her eyes, she thought of her sister goddess Lusna.

  If you can hear me, Lucy, take care. Warn the others. Charun will be coming for one of you now.

  Tears leaked from her eyes. No way out now. End of the road.

  Cal. I love you.

  The demon turned back to look at her. “Sorry, Goddess. Seems like a waste to trash such a pretty face.” Then it bent and tossed Tessa over its shoulder again. “Better if you don’t struggle much. Just takes longer. And believe me, you don’t want this to take long.”

  ***

  Cal heard distant thunder and forced himself to run faster.

  The demon was opening the gate into Aitás, and if Cal didn’t get to it before the demon took Tessa through, he wouldn’t be able to save her.

  A trip into Aitás was one way unless you were Charun or one of his demons.

  Lungs burning from his sprint, Cal pushed even harder, the misty dark of Cimmeria hiding his approach from the blue demon as it stooped to pick up Tessa and throw her over its shoulder.

  No. I won’t fail.

  Never slowing, he
ran at the demon full force, catching it off guard and taking it to the ground before it had a chance to avoid him. The demon couldn’t hold on to Tessa as it fell. She hit the ground with a thud but didn’t cry out. And didn’t move.

  The thought that she was already dead made his blood run cold. He couldn’t stop to help her, though, because the demon bounced to its feet and came at Cal with its claws exposed. It raked at his face and he veered away, feeling the brush of air as its hands passed within centimeters of his skin. He countered with a right hook that caught the demon on the chin but didn’t slow it down.

  Neither had the advantage in the fast-falling dark, their eyes equally adjusted. They battered each other with fists to the face and body, both enduring a fierce beating. Out of the corner of his eye, Cal saw his father approach and try to get to Tessa, but Diritas was unable to get past the knot Cal and the demon made.

  Cal had to put this demon down, to beat it into submission. The knowledge put more force, more power into his punches. He felt his knuckles connect with and shatter a cheekbone, felt a rib give way under his fist. Rage made him strong, but he wouldn’t last forever.

  He needed to get the demon away from Tessa so Diritas could get her out of there.

  The demon swung out with an open hand, aiming for Cal’s chest. Seeing an opportunity, Cal let its razor-sharp nails rake across his chest.

  He sagged as if the demon had hurt him, and with a hard grin, it came after him. He took a step back and then another, stumbling a little, and the demon took the bait. It leaped, baring its teeth and going for Cal’s throat. Cal fell on his back, put his hands up as if to hold off the demon, then caught it and flipped it over his head, away from Tessa.

  Scrambling to get to Tessa, Cal got within two feet of touching her before the demon landed on his back, wrapped one wiry arm around Cal’s throat, and tightened it. Cal’s esophagus began to close, and he ripped at the demon’s arm and scratched at the flesh. A blast of foul breath blew by his cheek.

  Shit, its teeth. He had to get away from its teeth. Poison.

  He twisted as hard as he could and got his hand under the demon’s arm before he felt it yank back. The demon hissed and spit and turned on Diritas, who’d grabbed its shoulders and yanked it away from Cal.

  “That’s right, you blue-skinned fiend,” Diritas taunted. “Come dance with a master of the craft.”

  As if unable to stop, the demon launched itself at Diritas like a missile, hitting him hard and taking them both to the ground.

  Cal turned and scrambled on his knees to Tessa, who hadn’t moved yet.

  Please, let her be okay. Please, please, please…

  Behind him, he heard fists on flesh but he couldn’t take his eyes off Tessa. She lay so still in the dark, and when his hands reached for her, he moaned at the ice-cold feel of her skin.

  “Oh, fuck. Tessa, love…”

  Her eyes opened, tears welling before spilling down her cheeks. Her lips parted but no sound emerged.

  Then his eyes landed on the wound at her neck. Oh hell, the demon had bit her. She was paralyzed. Not dead.

  He gathered her close and—

  The demon hit him in the back of the head, making stars burst before Cal’s eyes. Falling forward, he caught himself before he crushed Tessa, but he took the combined weight of the demon, Diritas, and X, who’d joined the fight, for several seconds before they rolled off him again.

  Cal didn’t have a single qualm about leaving his father and brother to deal with the demon. He had to get Tessa out of there. That was the only thing that mattered.

  Still… He glanced over his shoulder.

  Diritas was taking a beating. His face bled from several cuts and he actually winced when the demon’s next blow caught him in the side. X’s left arm hung limp and the back of his head was covered in blood. If Cal, X, and their father fought together, they could kill the damn thing.

  He looked back at Tessa, still lying frozen in his arms, and he swore he saw her nod.

  “Do it,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Kill it. One less Tukhulkha demon to worry about. The neck. Sever the spinal cord.”

  Torn, Cal forced himself to lay Tessa back on the ground, bracing her against the thick trunk of a tree. Bending, he pressed his lips to hers for a brief second before he turned to help his father and brother defeat the demon.

  Diritas took another hit to the solar plexus before Cal tackled them both and took them to the ground.

  The demon screeched like a pissed-off cat just before it reared back and bared its teeth. X had stepped into range as he tried to get to their father. Cal knew the demon would go for X’s jugular.

  Grabbing the demon’s head before it could strike, Cal yanked it away. Diritas and X immediately grabbed for the thing as well, holding its legs as Cal found the strength necessary to twist hard.

  Though the demon fought them, Cal found greater strength because he had more to lose.

  The crack as the demon’s neck broke reverberated through the forest. Cal tossed the demon to the side and a tremor shook the ground, hard enough to make him stumble. With a crash, the gate to Aitás closed.

  After a quick glance to make sure his father still breathed, Cal forced himself to his feet and back to Tessa.

  Her skin looked pale; her eyes were closed; and he could barely see her chest move as she breathed. He gathered her in his arms and stood. And then he had no idea what to do.

  Above. He needed to get her into the sun. He needed to open a gate into—

  “Cal. Love you.”

  Tessa’s weak voice sent a bolt of pain straight into his chest. His gaze connected with her beautiful blue eyes, now dull and listless.

  And his heart stuttered.

  She’d just given up. “Gods damn it. No, Tessa. Don’t you dare give up on me. I’ll take you up. We’ll find the sun and you will be fine.”

  Her smile flickered for a brief second. “Not gonna be fine. You know that. And we can’t let Charun have me. Take me to Invol.”

  No. Absolutely not. “That’s not gonna happen.” He glared into her eyes, willing her to fight. “We’re going back to the sun. I won’t lose you. I don’t want to live without your heat in my life. You gave me back a part of myself I thought I’d lost forever. I’m never cold with you.”

  Her smile flickered again but she couldn’t hold it. Her eyes closed and Cal panicked. He closed his eyes to summon a gate… but couldn’t gather the necessary power.

  Shit. Concentrate, you idiot.

  “Cal.” Tessa’s weak voice forced his gaze down to hers. In the twilight, he saw the light leave her eyes.

  Agonizing pain, unlike anything he’d ever felt before, encased his body in a fierce grip, squeezing his lungs, tearing at his heart, and ripping at his stomach. He screamed until he couldn’t any longer, until his bruised esophagus gave out.

  The warmth of Tessa’s body was fading fast.

  No. He couldn’t accept this.

  Turning, he saw his father push himself to his feet and head for Cal, his expression darker than usual.

  “Damn it, Cal. I’m sorry.”

  “No, she’s not gone.” He shook his head, unwilling to believe. Even though he could no longer feel her warmth. “I can’t… I have to take her back to the…”

  No, she’d been right. “I have to take her to Invol.”

  The light there would heal her. He knew it would.

  It had to.

  Chapter 13

  “Caligo, you can’t go in there. You’re not strong enough. You’ll die. Let me take her.”

  Cal shook his head, as he stood by the oak tree that marked the gate to Invol. “Open the gate, Dad.”

  Diritas got that look on his face, an expression Cal knew damn well. Stubborn intractability. His father wasn’t moving.

  “Son, there’s nothing more you can do for her. She wouldn’t want you to sacrifice yourself like this.”

  “I’m not. I just have to see this through.”

>   He had to know for sure that she was gone. Someone over there had to tell him. And if she was…

  “I’ll be back, Dad.”

  The lie sounded like truth. At least it did to Cal’s ears.

  His father wasn’t buying it. He crossed his arms over his thick chest and widened his stance. “You will break your mother’s heart if you don’t. And mine.”

  His father had never once said he loved Cal. Cimmerian men didn’t express feelings they didn’t have. Or at least pretended not to have.

  For years, Cal had thought he was an aberration because of his half-blood status. That he had emotions because he was flawed in some fundamental way.

  He knew now that wasn’t true.

  His father had feelings. He just worked hard to keep them concealed.

  “You’ve been gone for years, Son. I know that’s mostly my fault. That mess with—”

  “Doesn’t matter. And I never blamed you for that.”

  “I should have said something, spoken up.” Cal heard the remorse in his father’s voice, the anger. “But I thought it’d be best if you got away for a while. I never wanted you to leave for good.”

  “That was my fault. Not yours.”

  And if he hadn’t left, he might never have met Tessa. He wouldn’t have traded that for anything, not even for the respect of the Cimmerians.

  “Cal—”

  “Dad. I love you and Mom and X. But I have to do this.”

  Diritas stood his ground for another few seconds before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

  Laying his hand on the trunk, Diritas spoke the spell to open the gate. There was no crashing, no lightning flashing, no quakes. Just the rush of air displacing and then the smell of ozone.

  Cal had already donned the cloak hanging from the tree. He didn’t intend to walk into Invol, hand over Tessa, and then let himself burn to a crisp.

  He planned to return. He just didn’t think he’d be in any shape to actually live when he did.

  Cal stepped through.

  Once more into the light.

  He didn’t go far though. Knew he didn’t have to. He’d figured that no matter where he was in Invol, its residents would know he was there.