Hawk's Way: Callen & Zach

by Joan Johnston

  Callen felt her heart racing with excitement. Her first inclination was to race home to Sam with the good news. Then she had second thoughts. What if he got angry when he found out that she had tricked him into giving her a writing sample? What if he didn’t want any help dealing with his dyslexia? With the party only a day away she didn’t want to start an argument with him. It would be soon enough to talk with him after the party about Mrs. Moran’s conclusions and her offer of help.

  “I’ll be in touch with you,” she told the specialist. “And thank you very much!”

  THE DAY OF THE PARTY DAWNED bright and sunny, and Callen was nearly bouncing with excitement like a teenager on her way to the prom. Sam had never seen her so euphoric. “It’s just a party, Callen,” he said with a laugh after she tried putting both feet in the same leg of her jeans.

  “I know. But it’s the first party we’ve had as husband and wife. I want it to go well.”

  “It will,” Sam reassured her as he dragged her back across him on the bed and nuzzled her neck playfully. “You’ve got every detail planned, right down to how we’re going to get everyone out the door after it’s all over so we can come in here and make love.”

  Callen grinned. “At least I planned the best for last.”

  Sam chuckled, then pressed his lips to her throat and began to suck.

  “Sam Longstreet, don’t you dare give me a hickey!” Callen half shouted, half laughed. She shoved at his shoulders, but he held her tight in his arms. “I bought a new dress and it’ll show,” she warned.

  Sam stopped what he was doing, but didn’t let her go. “I want every man there to know you’re mine,” he said. “I want to put my mark on you.”

  “You’re the only man I want,” Callen said in a husky voice. “The only man I’ll ever want.”

  Sam felt a lump of emotion in his throat. How had she become so precious to him? How could he have gotten himself into such an impossible dilemma? He couldn’t give her up; he couldn’t give up his vengeance. What was he going to do?

  “I…” He couldn’t say “I love you.” It wasn’t fair. Not when he was using her the way he was.

  “You what?” Callen said in a teasing voice.

  “I bought some fancy new clothes to wear tonight.”

  Callen sat up, her legs draped across his waist. “You did? Oh, Sam, that’s great!”

  “I didn’t want you to worry that I’d turn up looking like I did at our wedding.”

  “I never thought—”

  He covered her mouth with his hand. “You know damn well that’s exactly what you thought,” he said with a grin. “I couldn’t miss the shaving cream you stuck by the sink, or the boot polish that turned up on the back of the toilet seat, or the fact that you’ve ironed every single one of my shirts for the past week. And I adore you for it.”

  The words had come out before he had a chance to stop them. He didn’t miss the startled look in Callen’s eyes, or the way his own heart missed a beat when he said the words that were so close to what he knew she wanted to hear. He lowered his hand from her mouth, his gaze never leaving hers.

  “Oh, Sam,” she said. “Oh, Sam.”

  She was too choked up to say any more, and since his throat had closed like a vise, he used his hands and mouth to confirm what he had said. He cupped her breasts and felt the marvelous softness of them before mouthing her through the thin white T-shirt she wore. Her cry of delight made his groin tighten. Since he was naked under the sheets, it didn’t take long before her jeans were off and he had her beneath him. He was lost in a world of pleasure so vast he wasn’t sure he could ever get enough of it.

  It wasn’t until much, much later that Sam realized he hadn’t used any protection. He had taken that responsibility from the first, because he knew the dire consequences that would result if he got Callen pregnant. This time he had been caught up in the powerful emotions of the moment, wanting and needing to show Callen how much he cared, how much he valued her. Birth control had been the farthest thing from his mind.

  Sam couldn’t imagine any other woman than Callen having his children. Only now was not the time. The game hadn’t yet been played out. He told himself the chances of her getting pregnant were slim to none. But he felt his gut wrench when he realized that the possibility existed.

  He forced it from his mind as he and Callen finished the party preparations together. She hadn’t decorated the house so much as filled it with candles and flowers. She had polished every surface and vacuumed every speck of dust. Even he was impressed with the results.

  He was quite literally stunned when he saw Callen’s dress for the party. He had never seen her wearing anything so sophisticated or elegant. It was a black dress that molded her figure, cut just low enough to reveal a hint of cleavage, but not enough to really show anything. The back, however, was cut to the waist, revealing an expanse of skin so enticing he couldn’t keep himself from reaching out to touch her skin.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said in amazement.

  Callen blushed with pleasure at the look of admiration and pride in Sam’s eyes. “Thank you, Sam. May I return the compliment?”

  “I’m beautiful?” he said with a wry twist of his mouth. He looked down at the starched white tuxedo shirt and bolo tie he wore with a black leather vest and black trousers. “It’s the clothes,” he said flatly. “I look like one of those rhinestone cowboys that sit around drinking tequila in a bar back east.”

  Callen laughed, a tinkling sound that skittered down his spine and right back up again to catch him in the throat.

  “It’s not the clothes,” she said. “Although I must say you’re looking very fine tonight. It’s you,” she said as she eyed him from head to toe. “You really are quite a handsome man, Sam. I can’t believe I never saw it before.”

  He felt himself flush at the compliment. She was looking at him as if she would like to eat him whole. Sam felt his body respond quickly and fiercely to her invitation. He kept himself a foot away from her, knowing that if he touched her they wouldn’t be dressed to greet the guests that were due any minute. But he couldn’t take his eyes off her, and he knew from her face that she was feeling the same need he was to wrap himself up in her and never let go.

  They both jumped when they heard a knock at the door.

  “Party time,” Sam said, his voice harsh with desire.

  Callen cleared her throat. “Shall we greet our guests together?”

  Sam slipped an arm around her waist and drew her close. “Let’s go.”

  The rest of the party was a nightmare for Sam.

  He recognized their first guests as Tom Swan, who had been the center of the high school football team, and his wife, Julie. The two had been inseparable since sixth grade. Tom shook Sam’s hand and greeted him with a friendly smile that Sam made himself return.

  But Sam wasn’t seeing Tom’s smile or hearing his greeting. He was remembering the day in high school when he had overheard Tom talking to several members of the team in the locker room, while they thought he was in the shower.

  “That Sam,” Tom had said. “He sure can run! It’s just too damn bad he can’t read!”

  He heard the boys he had thought were his friends laughing with hilarity at what a dumb jock he was. Oh, he had been a riot, all right. He could still feel the awful aching pain of that betrayal.

  Looking into Tom’s clear blue eyes, Sam knew his former teammate’s opinion of him hadn’t changed. Except now he couldn’t run, either.

  Tom was just the first of several of his high school football cronies that Callen had dredged up. It seemed people stuck around this part of Texas when they were born here.

  And there was Janice Reese. She was the girl he had fallen head over heels in love with in sixth grade. He had followed her around for several weeks before she turned and confronted him.

  “Why are you following me around, Sam?”

  “I was just wondering, Janice, if you’d go to the Halloween dance with me.”r />
  She had wrinkled her nose at him in a way he thought particularly endearing. “What makes you think I’d go out with a dummy like you?”

  He had been so shocked at the bluntness of her statement that he hadn’t been able to come up with a good reason why she should want to spend time with him. He had backed away and kept to himself after that.

  He wondered if Janice remembered that fateful encounter. He had never forgotten it. He had known he had trouble with schoolwork, but had never associated that deficiency with anything lacking in himself. Until Janice had called him a dummy. It was amazing how that single sentence changed his perception of himself. He began to question himself, his intelligence.

  He remembered asking E.J. if there was something wrong with him. But his father had reassured him that aside from having trouble reading and with figures, he was smart enough.

  “Who was it figured out a way to get that windmill working again?” E.J. had said. “Who was it figured out the spring mechanism for the stall doors in the barn? Who was it figured out that mixing feeds would increase the yield of weight on the cattle? I could name a dozen other bright ideas you’ve come up with. You’ve got brains, boy. Never doubt it.”

  Only he had. It had come as a relief in seventh grade when he realized he could run like the wind. It had given him a way to excel at something. It had given him self-esteem. Until he had heard what the other boys really thought about him. It wasn’t enough that he could run, when he couldn’t read.

  He had kept strictly to himself after that. He heard what his teammates said then. He was too stuck up to spend time with them now that all those universities had come courting, wanting Sam Longstreet to sign on the dotted line to play football. He had let them think the worst of him because there was no way he could tell them the truth.

  And here they were, all of them in one place, smiling and shaking his hand and acting as if everything was perfectly normal. He felt sick to his stomach just being in the same room with them. They pretended like they didn’t remember how it was. But he had never forgiven or forgotten their cruelty.

  There was some respite from the horror of confronting his past. Surprisingly, it came in the form of Callen’s two brothers, Zach and Falcon. Zach grudgingly shook his hand.

  “I can see Callen’s happy,” he said.

  “And that makes everything all right?” Sam asked.

  “Just make sure she stays that way,” Zach said.

  Sam could see the respect in Zach’s eyes, and the challenge. He couldn’t help liking the other man.

  Falcon greeted Sam with his arm around Mara, who was holding a blanketed baby. Susannah, her shiny black hair hanging to her shoulders, held trustingly to his other hand.

  Sam remembered Susannah from their meeting years before. At the time, Susannah had been wearing a small red hat to conceal the fact that chemotherapy had made all her hair fall out. He could see the years had been good to her.

  “You’ve got a good-looking family there,” Sam said.

  “Thanks,” Falcon replied. “I don’t have a free hand, or I’d shake yours.”

  “I can shake his hand, Daddy,” Susannah said, suiting deed to word.

  Sam bent down and shook the little girl’s hand. “You probably don’t remember me, but we met in Dallas about four years ago.”

  She frowned. “Yes, I do. You’re the nice man with green eyes. I met you the day Daddy bought my pony.”

  Sam smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever been described so agreeably.”

  “You’ve done wonders with this place,” Falcon said, looking around at the improvements, which he had missed seeing in his previous brief visit.

  “All the credit goes to Callen. She’s the one who worked the magic.”

  “Where is she?” Falcon asked. “I want to say hello.”

  “I think she’s in the kitchen with your mother.”

  “Is Dad with them?”

  Sam worked to keep his features even. “Your father couldn’t come. Some kind of emergency at the last minute, I think.”

  “That’s too bad. I think we’ll try to find Callen, if you’ll excuse us.”

  Sam looked around his parlor at the happy, smiling people and felt alone. He wanted to be with Callen, but he knew her family was with her now. He couldn’t very well go in there and drag her away from them. He searched for someone, anyone he could comfortably converse with. His gaze stopped on Janice Reese.

  As though he had summoned her, she walked toward him.

  “I’ve been hoping I’d get a chance to talk with you this evening,” Janice said.

  “What have you been doing with yourself?” Sam asked. “I’m afraid I haven’t kept up.”

  “I’m the librarian in town.”

  Sam smiled. It was more of a smirk. No wonder he hadn’t seen her in nearly fifteen years. He wouldn’t be caught dead in a library. It was full of books he couldn’t read.

  “I wondered where you disappeared to after high school,” she said.

  “Oh? Why is that?”

  “I’ve had a crush on you for years. Ever since the sixth grade in fact.”

  Sam stared at her, stunned. “You called me a dummy!” he blurted. His face flamed.

  She laughed sheepishly. “Isn’t that awful? I can’t believe I was so mean to you! I liked you a lot. I just…I was a stupid twelve-year-old.” She smiled and said, “I’m sorry now I didn’t track you down.”

  “Are you flirting with me, Janice?” Sam asked incredulously.

  “Would it work if I did?”

  “Nope. I’m happily married.” What an easy lie that was to tell. He was happy. But for how long?

  “That’s what I thought. I could see the moment I caught sight of you and Callen together that you’re in love with each other. I’m happy for you, Sam.”

  She lifted herself on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. To keep her from falling when she lost her balance, Sam slid an arm around her.

  At that moment Zach turned around and saw him. He watched Zach’s eyes narrow and knew he had misconstrued the situation. Callen’s brother was at his side before he could even steady Janice on her feet.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he raged at Sam.

  “Mind your own business, Zach. This doesn’t concern you.”

  “When my sister’s husband has her arm around another woman who’s kissing him in plain sight of all their friends, I’d say that’s my business,” Zach retorted.

  “Nothing happened here,” Janice began to explain.

  “Keep out of this, Janice,” Sam said in a curt voice. “Leave us alone, please.” He gave her a little shove toward the other side of the room. Once she was gone, he turned his attention back to Zach. He could see there were already a lot of eyes on the two of them. The thought of explaining himself to Zach irked him, but he didn’t want to make a scene and spoil Callen’s party, so he said, “That was completely innocent.”

  “I’ll bet.”

  “Janice was giving me a friendly kiss, and she lost her balance. That’s all there was to it.”

  “You bastard. How long have you been seeing her?”

  “What?”

  “Everyone knows you had a thing for Janice Reese when you were kids. You mooned over her for most of junior high school.”

  Sam stared at Zach. He hadn’t imagined he had been that obvious. He swallowed over the bile at the back of his throat and said, “I haven’t seen Janice for fifteen years until tonight. And I didn’t invite her, Callen did.”

  “You expect me to believe that?”

  “It’s the truth!” Sam shot back. “But then, you Whitelaws aren’t too big on honesty yourselves, so maybe you don’t recognize it when you see it.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Ask your father,” Sam snarled.

  Sam had forgotten discretion in the heat of the moment. He was suddenly struck by the silence around him and turned to find everyone staring at him and Zach. What he
saw in their eyes made him furious. How dare they judge him! How dare they condemn him! Then he caught sight of Callen’s stricken face in the kitchen doorway.

  She looked embarrassed and ashamed. Of him.

  And why shouldn’t she be? They all knew what he was. Dressing up and putting on airs didn’t change the fact he was dumb as an ox.

  He shoved a hand wearily through his hair and turned his back on all of them. “Go home,” he said quietly. “The party’s over.”

  He heard shuffling and muttering behind him, heard Callen’s voice thanking them all for coming. Heard her reassure Zach and Falcon and her mother that she would be fine. That she was in no danger.

  Oh, but she was! She was deeply embroiled in his plan to ruin her father. He hadn’t cared whether she got destroyed in the process. And now it was too late. She was going to be hurt. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

  You could give up your vengeance. You could forgive Garth Whitelaw and go on with your life.

  “Sam?”

  He turned around and saw Callen standing not a foot away from him, her eyes filled with concern. Everyone else had gone.

  He shoved his hand through his hair again. “I’m sorry, Callen.”

  “What happened, Sam? I thought everything was going so well. Why did you start a fight with Zach? Why did you ask everybody to leave?”

  “Zach started the fight,” he retorted. “And I asked them to leave because I didn’t want them here.”

  “Why not?” When he didn’t answer, she reached out a hand and laid it on his chest. “Please tell me, Sam. I want to understand.”

  He brushed her hand away because he wanted so badly to hold her in his arms when he knew he didn’t deserve the love she offered him.

  “Don’t you see?” he said in an agonized voice. “They all knew.”

  A frown furrowed her brow. “Knew what?”

  “About me.”

  She shook her head. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that. Knew what about you?”

  “That I can’t read a third-grade primer. That I could barely get through high school. That I couldn’t get into college if I tried. That I’m not smart.” An agitated hand went forking through his hair again. “Hell. That I’m dumb as ditch water.”