Hannah's Dream

by Lenore Butler

  "I know I've found him."

  "Evan, you have to calm down," Jeremiah said.

  "I am calm," Evan said. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists.

  "You can't be sure this is the same man."

  Evan began to speak and Jeremiah, a gray-haired man in his late fifties with a full Chester A. Arthur mustache, put up his hand.

  "You can't be sure, Evan. You haven't seen the man in what, seven years?"

  "It's him."

  "Well, if it is, he can wait. He obviously has created a life for himself in, where is it?"

  "New Beach."

  "New Beach. He isn't going anywhere. You have time to pursue him. But this time, you will contact the authorities in Monmouth County and alert them. You will request their assistance in investigating this man. Until we have some answers, you will not leave Cherry Hill. Is that clear?"

  Evan shifted in his chair. He hated being told to stay put. But he knew Jeremiah was right. He hated that, too.

  "If you don't do as I say, I can't guarantee you'll have a job when you return. People remember what happened. They wanted me to terminate your employment then. You abandoned your duties as sheriff for personal reasons. You are employed by the people of this county. Remember that."

  "I have to get him," Evan said.

  "If he is the man, we'll get him, but we'll do it the right way this time. Go and contact the authorities. I can't protect you, Evan. I won't protect you if you don't do as I say."

  "Fine. I'll contact the authorities. But if I find out it's him, I'm going after him."

  "Think before you do something foolish."

  Evan stood and put on his hat.

  "Good day, Evan," Jeremiah said.

  Evan didn't reply. He left the building, climbed onto his horse, and rode down the street to the sheriff's station. As he rode, he thought about what Jeremiah said. The mayor was right. The men in Monmouth County would get to Jean-Pierre faster than he could. There would be more of them and no hurricane to impede his arrest. He stopped in front of his station and slid to the ground. He tied Old Mike to the hitching post and went inside.

  He had forgotten to bring the newspaper with him and he cursed. He looked through his desk drawers for a list of sheriffs and found it in the bottom right-hand drawer. The sheriff of Monmouth County was listed as Theodore Aumack. The station had a new desk telephone. It was on the sheriff's desk. Evan picked up the receiver and waited for the operator to answer. He could hear the excitement in her voice when she said,

  "Long distance!"

  "Yes, Mary Ellen, long distance."

  Chapter 24

  High Bend, Colorado

  The cool evening breeze ruffled Marian's hair. She was still getting used to the view from her porch and it still took her breath away when she saw it. The vast expanse of mountains and valleys beneath her was so different from New Jersey that at first she had suffered vertigo whenever she looked in that direction. Now, she was more accustomed to it and was able to appreciate its beauty.

  Hannah, too, had been mesmerized by the colors she'd seen during their trip across country and now, whenever she came outside, she would rush back in and grab her journal. There were so many lovely vistas to draw, so many new things she'd never seen before, and she wasn't wasting one minute brooding about leaving New Jersey.

  Jimmy was riding every day. James had given the boy a horse named Toots and told him the horse had been given that name because it frequently broke wind. Toots had a personality all her own. She seemed to understand words and Jimmy was thrilled to have such an interesting horse, even if she was a little stinky. He and Toots roamed the countryside for hours, and James would send a hand to keep an eye on the boy. He didn't tell Jimmy, though.

  When James met his sister at the train, they fell into an easy rapport. He thought his sister had grown into a handsome woman. His niece was delightful, and his new nephew made him laugh. But all his concerns were truly gone when he got them home and Marian gushed over her new house. The distance between the houses, about a half mile, was enough to lend privacy to all and she was pleased to find the study on the first floor.

  "It can be a room for Becky," she said to James privately. "I'll tell her that was your intention."

  He nodded. It was a sound plan.

  For the next month, Marian and Hannah decorated the empty walls and covered them in tasteful wallpapers and pastel colored paints. Miles Smiley approved.

  "Your sister has excellent taste," he told James when he came to the housewarming.

  "She knows what she wants," James said. "I just leave her alone."

  "That's always the best thing to do with a woman," Miles replied.

  "And how would you know?" Becky said. She had overheard the conversation between the two bachelors and had to put in her two cents.

  "I just meant that women know their own minds," Miles said. His cheeks were red. Becky wasn't sure if it was embarrassment or the whiskey he was sipping.

  "They know when to keep their mouths shut, which is more than I can say for some people around here," Becky said.

  James raised his eyebrows and smiled. Miles' cheeks grew redder.

  "That woman has a salty tongue," he said when Becky walked away.

  "She does at that."

  James watched Becky walk over to Marian and whisper in her ear. He noted the way she stood, so straight, and wondered if she ever smiled.

  When the party ended, Miles hitched a ride with one of the hands who lived in town and waved goodbye with an unsteady hand. James joined Marian on the porch and sat on one of the four rockers he'd placed there as a housewarming gift.

  "I love these rockers," Marian said. "You didn't have to give me anything. Not after building this house."

  "I wanted to. Besides, you needed something for me to sit on when I visit. Those chairs you have are just too soft."

  She smiled. "How rustic you've become. I never would have thought my big brother would be so content in the wilderness."

  "It's not exactly the wilderness, Marian. We have indoor plumbing."

  "How did you manage that? I was so happy when I saw it, but I couldn't imagine how."

  "I have a well and Miles and I planned it out. It wasn't so hard. There are real plumbers in Denver now."

  "Well, I'm very happy with it. And so is Hannah. I know she was concerned about using an outhouse."

  "And what about Becky?" he said.

  Marian thought it was a strange question. James knew Becky was her housekeeper, but Marian and Becky were awfully familiar with each other. Maybe James didn't understand their relationship. Or was her brother interested in Becky?

  "She's happy, too. She loves the sink in the kitchen."

  James had installed a metal sink with faucets instead of a pump.

  "I wanted to have them installed in our kitchen back home, but other things came first."

  "It was Miles' idea. He thought it would be easier for..."

  "I heard about Mr. Smiley's comments concerning women."

  "He didn't mean anything by it."

  "I'm sure he didn't."

  James looked at Marian and noted her smug smile.

  "He's been a bachelor a long time, Marian. He isn't going to change."

  "That's unfortunate."

  "I hope you don't think you're going to change me."

  "I had no intention of trying to change you. I understood that when I heard you were building me a house."

  "Was it that obvious?"

  She laughed. "A little. But no worries. I like my privacy, too."

  "Do you think you'll ever marry again?"

  "I don't think about it very often. I am content the way I am."

  "But you're young enough, if you want more children that is."

  "I've thought about that. But now I have a girl and a boy, and I'm content."

  "Speaking of that boy, you said you adopted him. Who are his parents?"

  Marian stared at the mountains. She had hoped James wo
uld never ask, but now that hope seemed foolish. Of course, he would be curious.

  "He's Randall's child," she said.

  "Oh," he replied.

  He never asked again.

  Chapter 25

  The world seemed far away as Hannah stood on the hill overlooking the falls. The cascading water inspired her to draw and she was glad she'd brought the large journal Marian had bought her to record their trip to Denver. Instead of recording her thoughts, Hannah sketched what she saw on its pages. She sat on the grass and pulled a pencil from her lunch basket. As the pencil moved across the empty page, the waterfalls began to appear.

  Since she'd begun painting with Louise, Hannah had become adept at creating realistic scenes. She was still envious of the passion Louise imparted to her canvases, but Hannah's paintings were praised by the other students for their realism, and Margaret Mason had actually sold one to an acquaintance in New York. Hannah loved to think about that painting, a depiction of the ocean at sunset, hanging in the rich matron's drawing room.

  Sitting alone on a hill in Colorado, though, her fingers weren't obeying her eyes. She wanted to show the power of the waterfall, but as she held the journal in front of her, it looked tame as a baby's bath. Hannah sighed. She placed the journal next to her and looked at the mountains in the distance.

  The trip from New Jersey had been exhausting. Marian had endeavored to save money on the journey by booking beds in the Pullman car, but during the day they had to sit on the seats in the passenger cars. They were hard and as they were also in the public view, the women had to mind their posture and by the end of the day, Hannah was so stiff her muscles would ache. She tried to sketch things she saw along the way, but her fingers were clumsy and the train would jerk, creating long black lines across the page. She gave up trying to draw as they rode through Ohio and didn't pick up the journal again until today. Perhaps she'd lost her ability to draw when she left New Jersey.

  "That's ridiculous," she said.

  "I think it's pretty good," Adam said.

  She turned her head and saw him standing behind her. His horse was a few feet away. He was looking at the journal.

  "Where did you come from?" she asked. "I didn't hear you ride up."

  "I saw you up here and thought I'd say hello."

  "Do you think it looks like the waterfall?"

  "Well, I knew what it was."

  She closed the journal. "I'm not happy with it. It's...boring."

  Adam sat and picked up the journal. He leafed through the pages and stopped at the waterfall.

  "I don't think it's boring," he said. "It looks like a waterfall."

  "But there's no power. You're supposed to feel the waterfall."

  "If I want to feel the waterfall, I'll go to the waterfall and put my hand in it."

  "No," Hannah said shaking her head. She put her hand on her chest over her heart. "In here. You're supposed to feel it in here."

  Adam looked puzzled. He put his hand on his chest. He felt his heart beating. He didn't feel water.

  "Well, I think it looks good," he said.

  Hannah sighed again. "I want it to be more than just good. I have a friend who paints and everything she does is amazing. When you look at her paintings, it's as if you're in the painting, experiencing what she felt when she painted it. I want to paint that way."

  "But what if you can't?" Adam said.

  "What do you mean?"

  "What if you can't paint that way? What if your paintings are just nice to look at?"

  "Then I'll stop painting," Hannah said.

  She pushed herself off the ground and stood. She reached down and grabbed the journal out of Adam's hands and picked up her basket.

  "It's a nice waterfall," Adam said as she walked away.

  Becky was setting the table for lunch when Hannah returned.

  "You look fit to be tied," Becky said. "What happened?"

  "Nothing," Hannah said. "Just Adam giving his opinion of my drawing."

  "Not an art lover, is he?"

  "He's a rube. He thinks my drawing is nice."

  "And that's bad?"

  "I want it to be grand!"

  "Oh, grand is it. Well, the man lives on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. You can't expect him to understand how you've suffered."

  Hannah tilted her head back and glared at Becky. "That's not the point, Becky. He said it was nice. That's like saying it's acceptable. I want to draw something that will make people weep."

  "I think you shouldn't be so hard on the boy."

  "He's hardly a boy."

  Hannah left Becky and went to her room. She closed the door and sat on the bed. She felt very far from home.

  "Did I hear Hannah?" Marian said as she came into the dining room.

  "She was mad at that hand, Adam. He insulted her drawing."

  "He did? He doesn't seem mean-spirited. What did he say?"

  "He said her drawing was nice."

  Marian nodded her head. "Oh, I see." She smiled.

  "She wants to make people weep," Becky said.

  The women laughed quietly.

  "Poor Hannah," Marian said. "She can be so serious sometimes. I think she misses Louise. Louise would have understood."

  "Maybe we can invite her to visit," Becky said.

  "That's a good idea. But it would have to be soon. James said once it snows we may not be able to get to Denver for months."

  "You mean we'll be stuck here until spring?"

  "I'm afraid so. He said last year he and Adam were snowed in for six weeks. They couldn't even go to town in High Bend."

  "Then we'd better start stocking supplies," Becky said.

  "I'm going up to check on Hannah," Marian said.

  Marian climbed the stairs and went down the hallway to the last bedroom. She found Hannah lying on the bed.

  "Are you all right?" she asked.

  "I'm fine, Mama," Hannah said.

  Marian could hear she was crying. She walked over and sat in front of Hannah, who moved to let Marian sit. She stroked Hannah's hair and wiped away her tears.

  "I want to go home," Hannah said.

  "I know. I've been watching you."

  "I need to see Louise. I need to be with people who understand what I'm feeling."

  "I know it's hard, Hannah, but this is our new home."

  Hannah sat with her back against her pillow. "But I'm eighteen now. Why can't I live on my own?"

  "Because you're a single woman. People would think, well, that you were...it wouldn't be appropriate."

  "I'm so tired of hearing what I can't do!"

  Hannah got off the bed and went to the window.

  "There's nothing here, Mama. I can't spend the rest of my life here. Surely there is some way I could go back east."

  She turned to face Marian.

  "Don't we have a relative I could stay with?"

  "We are staying with the only relative we have."

  "But what about Papa's family?"

  "Randall's mother is old, Hannah, and she's never shown the slightest interest in you."

  "Why?"

  "Because she felt Randall...married beneath his station."

  "You never told me that, Mama."

  Hannah came to her mother and sat next to her.

  "My father arranged the marriage. Randall was young and a bit wild, but he had money and position. My father met your father at his club. He suggested the marriage to Randall when he overheard your father say that in order to come into his inheritance, he would have to get married. I guess Randall saw it as a way to fulfill his father's wishes, but she thought my father was a tradesman and never forgave him."

  "A tradesman?"

  "They were very wealthy, Hannah. Randall's parents were old money. My father made his fortune by investing in the railroads and other businesses. We were considered nouveau riche and therefore beneath them. It was a bit of a scandal at the time. Randall thought his mother would be happy he had settled down, but she was appalled. It was
a very difficult time."

  "I'm so sorry, Mama."

  "Oh, I got over feeling bad about it a long time ago. But you can understand why you can't stay with her, can't you?"

  "Yes. And there isn't anyone else?"

  "No, dear. We are your only family. You're stuck with us, I'm afraid."

  Marian smiled. Hannah looked at her mother and she smiled, too.

  "I rather like being stuck with you. I just wish we were stuck in New Jersey."

  "Marry well and persuade your husband to take you there."

  "He'd have to have a lot of money, wouldn't he?"

  "Of course," Marian said with a smile.

  "And rich men are just falling out of the trees in Colorado."

  They both laughed and Marian put her arms around Hannah and hugged her.

  "I'm glad to see you smile. You have a lovely smile, Hannah."

  Marian pulled away from Hannah.

  "Do you ever think of John?" she said.

  Hannah thought for a moment.

  "No," she replied. "You know something, Mama? I loved John as a friend, but I don't think I loved John as a man. Do you know what I mean?"

  Marian nodded her head.

  "I think I liked being someone's girl, being betrothed. It made me feel special. But I wonder if I would have married him when the time came."

  "I'm glad to hear this, Hannah. I was worried you had been heartbroken."

  "I was shocked that he'd marry that way, without his family present, and to someone they'd never met. But John must have known we weren't meant to be, too. I wish him well, Mama. I truly do."

  Marian put her arm around Hannah's shoulder and Hannah rested her head on Marian's. They looked out the window and saw a hawk circling in the sky.

  "Lunch," Becky called from the bottom of the stairs.

  "I never ate the lunch I took this morning," Hannah said.

  "Then come down with me," Marian said.

  They got up and walked down the stairs together.

  "Well?" Becky said.

  "I'm fine," Hannah said.

  "Good, let's eat."

  Chapter 26

  Blue snorted as they rounded the bend and headed toward the ranch house.

  "What's wrong, fella?" Adam said. "Got dust in your nose?"

  Adam called the black horse Blue because when the Sun shone on his coat, it had a blue sheen. He'd had the horse since it was a colt.