Hannah's Dream

by Lenore Butler

  "You look like a flag," he said to Becky.

  "What do you mean?" she said.

  "You're red, white, and blue," he said.

  Everyone laughed as they, too, realized that Becky's blue dress with the white embroidered roses and the red shawl did look patriotic.

  "I'll take that as a compliment," she said.

  Marian looked across at Evan. She was still swooning from his pronouncement that he still loved her. When a hint of regret seeped into her mind, she wouldn't entertain it. She was too happy to think about the past and all the years they'd wasted being apart. Tonight, she would dance with her beau for the first time in twenty years, and she wasn't going to let anything ruin the way she was feeling.

  Hannah was meeting Owen at Mrs. Gray's house. They had made the arrangements while she was in town the day before and she noted that Owen appeared a bit friendlier than the last few times she'd encountered him. She was still on the fence regarding her feelings for him, and she hoped tonight would sway her one way or the other, but as she looked toward Adam, her heart skipped a beat. He had dressed for the social and he looked so dashing in his new frock coat that Hannah had to look at him twice. At that moment, she wished he was her escort, and not the temperamental Dr. Wallace.

  As she watched him drive the horse, she wished, despite the flying dust and cool temperature, that she was by his side with her arm in his. She would be proud to enter the ballroom on Adam's arm.

  She felt as though she was going to cry and turned her head away from the others. She didn't trust her feelings. She'd been wrong about John Liberty for so long, and she wondered if she was meant to have true love, or if she should just accept that the companionship of a good man would have to be enough. It might be easier to marry someone she didn't love, someone who shared her passion for art. She wouldn't have to worry that he would someday stop loving her.

  Still, the pleasant feelings that washed over her whenever Adam smiled were making it hard for her to abandon her need for true love, and the more time she spent with him, the more aware she became of that need. Especially when he smiled at her, or his eyes lingered on hers across the dinner table on Sunday afternoons.

  The irrationality of love was vexing her, too. She had been aware of James' affection for Becky before they appeared holding hands on the porch as everyone was leaving for the social and wondered why it had taken them so long to admit their feelings when it was obvious to everyone else that they cared for each other.

  She hadn't talked to anyone about it or they might have reminded her that Becky had been a servant in James' house and as such would have felt herself beneath him. They had been born into a system where feelings were suppressed in deference to duty. Becky was an honorable woman who knew her place and had accepted her lot in life. In truth, if they had stayed in Philadelphia, they would have remained apart.

  In many ways, Hannah's distance from her extended family had been a blessing. Hannah didn't have the same prejudices regarding people because Marian had felt the sting of rejection and had always treated Becky with respect. While it was clear to Becky she was a servant, Hannah had always seen her as a member of their family.

  Hannah had also become good friends with Louise, a girl from the wrong part of town, who dressed in rags, and rarely spoke. Hannah didn't see her as less than anyone else, and embraced her friendship. Marian had only recently explained her grandmother's rejection of her due to her "breeding," but Hannah still couldn't imagine anyone looking down on her.

  As they drove onto Mrs. Gray's property, Hannah saw Owen waiting at the front door. He wore a cutaway and top hat. She thought he looked rather comical, and giggled.

  "What's tickled you, Hannah?" Marian said.

  "That hat Owen's wearing."

  Marian, too, smiled. Wearing a top hat in High Bend was comical.

  "Don't say anything to him, dear. You might hurt his feelings."

  "I wouldn't, but it is funny."

  Now Jimmy was laughing, too, and Marian put her finger to her lips.

  "Shhh," she said, and he stopped. "We must use our manners tonight."

  Becky had helped Jimmy dress for the social and he had his hair slicked back and wore a string tie and a long-sleeved shirt. He kept pulling at the collar, a separate piece that was affixed to a band around his shirt collar. It was scratching his neck and he wanted to take it off, but Becky wouldn't let him.

  "This is a party and you have to dress for it," she said. "You'll get used to it. Just stop fidgeting."

  But he still wasn't used to it and as soon as Becky was out of sight, he was going to take it off.

  Adam pulled the carriage to the door and they all got out. Owen came to Hannah and helped her down, then they walked into Mrs. Gray's arm and arm. Adam watched them go inside and he suddenly had the urge to hit the doctor as hard as he could. Once everyone had gotten out of the carriage, Adam drove it to the edge of the lawn where the others were parked and left it there. He had hitched Ulysses to the carriage and Ulysses snorted as Adam walked away.

  "There's nothing wrong with pulling a carriage," he told the horse. "No, it isn't undignified. It's an honor."

  Ulysses shook his head. Then Blue snorted, too.

  "You both have to stay put. Don't go getting any ideas about leaving on your own."

  Ulysses tapped the ground with his hoof.

  "I know, but I can't promise when we'll be done. Talk to her," Adam said pointing to the chestnut mare hitched to the carriage next to theirs. "She's right pretty. But don't fight over her."

  He walked to the house and stepped inside, and when he entered the ballroom, he saw Hannah dancing with Owen. The urge to punch the doctor in the face returned, so Adam walked away and tried to avoid looking at them.

  Marian was dancing with Evan. She felt as though she were dancing on air, and even though his uneven gait caused him to jerk a bit, she didn't mind.

  "You look just as you did that first night I saw you," he said.

  Marian blushed. "But that was twenty years ago."

  "It hasn't touched you. Not one bit."

  They waltzed around the floor and passed James and Becky, who were sitting near the wall. James' arm was weak, but it didn't stop him from holding Becky's hand. Feeling his hand on hers almost made her swoon. She'd resigned herself to a life of spinsterhood and now, not only having a good man but the man she loved above all others wanting her, was almost more than she could handle. Tears kept forming in her eyes, and it made her angry.

  "I can't stop crying," she said. "I feel like such a fool."

  "But they're happy tears, aren't they?"

  "Oh, yes," she said. "The happiest."

  James looked into her eyes. She could see them glistening with tears in the gaslight. This took her by surprise, like the warmth spreading through her body. She squeezed his hand.

  "I love you, Becky," he said.

  "I love you, too," she whispered, her voice choking with emotion.

  Hannah was having a delightful time. Owen was a wonderful dancer, and whatever had been troubling him seemed to have vanished. He talked with her as he had when they first met, discussing with her the museums in New York, and his dream of creating a sanitation department in High Bend. He wanted to establish a dump outside of town and hire men to collect refuse and haul it to the dump. In order to do that, people would need bins for their garbage, and be required to put their refuse in the bins instead of leaving it behind their houses where it attracted rats and other disease-carrying vermin.

  "I have to persuade the city council to buy the land," he said. "If people would only listen to me, they wouldn't get sick as often. But these are the most stubborn people I've ever met."

  "They have to get used to new ideas," Hannah said.

  "Well, they'd better do it quickly, or we'll have a cholera epidemic on our hands."

  "Is it that serious?" she asked.

  He looked down at her pretty face.

  "I'm sorry," he said. "This is a party. I
shouldn't be spoiling it by talking about such things."

  "I don't mind. In fact, I like talking about something other than the new calves that were born over the summer, or the horse auction in Denver."

  He smiled. "I imagine for a girl from the east the people here can be rather dull."

  "Oh, no, I like the people here, it's just that the ranch and everything that goes on there is all we ever talk about at home. The only time I'm around other people is when we come to town, and then there's no time to talk as we are now. I'd truly like to meet some of them and get to know them."

  Owen laughed. "You are funny, Hannah."

  She didn't realize she'd made a joke.

  As they were dancing, Evan began to slow down and Marian thought his leg might be bothering him. She suggested they have some refreshments and sit for a while, and he agreed. She volunteered to get them something to eat, and he wanted to say he would get it, but the pain in his leg was too great so he just nodded his head. He sat next to James, who was waiting for Becky to return with some punch.

  "This is a nice party," Evan said. "I'd like to keep dancing but my leg won't let me."

  "I know how you feel," James said. "My arm is aching something fierce."

  "But it's healed, right?"

  "Almost."

  "Where's Hannah?" Evan asked.

  "She's over there with the doc," James said, pointing to the dance floor. "The man who shot me, you said you think he killed a woman."

  "Agnes Welsh?"

  "Yes, that's the one. Marian told me she was Jimmy's ma."

  "Truly?"

  "Yup. We decided not to tell him. No use upsetting him."

  "Marian told Becky and Adam to keep an eye out for him. I told Tom to tell the crew. If he shows up, we'll find him."

  "Did you tell Hannah?" Evan asked.

  "Marian said she would after the social."

  The men hadn't seen Jimmy come and take a seat behind them, and when he heard the name Agnes Welsh, his eyes filled with tears. His mother had left him with Marian years ago, but he still remembered the way she hugged him, how her cheeks were so soft, and how sad she would get when the man who visited her sometimes didn't come.

  Tears rolled down his face as he imagined the bad man who had killed Grady killing her. Soon, sadness was replaced by a desire for vengeance, and Jimmy swore if he ever saw the man, he would kill him.

  Chapter 57

  The ballroom was full of people, so when Owen suggested they step out on the balcony, Hannah agreed. The air was cool but refreshing, and she took deep breaths.

  "Smell the pine trees," she said.

  "I've grown fond of Colorado," Owen replied. "At first I didn't care for the mountains, but the air is wonderfully clean."

  "I miss the beach," Hannah said. "I loved the salty air."

  "Do you ever think of going back?" he asked.

  Adam came to mind. "My home is where my family is," she said. "And now they're here."

  They stood side by side gazing at the stars. Hannah was resting her hands on the railing around the balcony and Owen put his hand on hers. She looked up and smiled. He turned toward her and she turned, too.

  "Hannah," he said. "I've also grown fond of you."

  She felt her cheeks growing hot. He was standing very close and she wondered if he meant to kiss her.

  "I know we haven't known each other a long time, but I think you're a marvelous girl. I'd like to court you. I'd like you to consider marrying me."

  "Oh," Hannah said. "You're right. We haven't known each other long. Are you sure?"

  "The day I spoke to your mother, I wasn't. But I've had time to think about things and I truly believe, if we don't mention your mother's family, you will be perfectly acceptable to my parents."

  Hannah was confused. Why had he said that about her mother?

  "Your father, on the other hand, would be old money and perfectly acceptable to them. This should quash any concerns they have regarding your background."

  Now Hannah was angry. He was saying she wasn't good enough for him. She was about to tell him she would never dream of hurting his fine reputation by marrying him when a boy dressed in dirty clothes ran over to him and tugged on his sleeve.

  "You gotta come, doc. It's Ma. She's sick. The baby won't come."

  "I'll be right there. You wait outside for me." He turned to Hannah and put his hands on her shoulders. He kissed the top of her head and then looked at her. "I'll talk to your mother after church on Sunday."

  As he left her standing alone, she clenched her fists. The kiss made her feel as though she were a child. How dare he say such things about her mother? What was wrong with her family? His arrogance astounded her. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't see Adam emerge from the shadows.

  "Are you all right?" Adams said.

  Hannah turned toward the sound of his voice. He came to her and leaned against the railing.

  "I'm fine," she said. She turned her gaze away from his face.

  "Don't marry him," Adam said.

  "What did you say?" she said.

  "I said don't marry him, Hannah. He doesn't love you."

  "How do you know how he feels?"

  "I just know it."

  "Adam, I appreciate your concern, but..."

  Adam grabbed her hand and pulled her into the shadows. He pressed her against the wall of the house and put his hands on her shoulders.

  "I heard what he said about your ma. He's saying you're not good enough for him."

  She moved her shoulders trying to get out of his grip. "Adam, let go of me."

  "He'll always remind you. He'll use it against you and hurt you."

  "You don't know what you're talking about. Let me go!"

  "I lived with two people who treated me that way, like I wasn't fit to lick their boots. You deserve better than him."

  His passion overrode his sense and he leaned down and kissed her. His kiss was warm yet firm. She felt herself melting in his arms. John Liberty's kisses hadn't been like this. As she was putting her arms around him, he pulled away from her and held her face.

  "I love you, Hannah. I have since the first day I saw you. If you marry him, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

  She stared up at him with tears glistening in her eyes and pulled his head toward her and kissed him. The kiss lasted longer this time, and when they parted, she smiled.

  "I love you, too, Adam."

  He put his arms around her shoulders and smothered her in a bear hug.

  "Do you mean it?" he said. "You really love me?"

  "I really do."

  They held each other for a long time and when they parted, they stood and looked at the stars. All their doubts were gone. She leaned her head against his chest, and he drew her close and thanked God for giving him Hannah.

  Chapter 58

  They were all quiet as they rode home. Hannah again wished she could ride with Adam, but the seat was too small for two, and as he said, she'd be warmer under the isinglass curtains. This time, Becky sat next to James and Marian sat next to Evan. In the dark, they held hands. Hannah didn't want this night to end, but despite her efforts to try to stay awake, she dozed off, leaning her head on Marian's shoulder.

  But Jimmy was wide awake. He wanted to listen to the adults to see if they mentioned that man again. Everyone said he was dead, but Evan and James made it sound like he might still be alive, and if he was, Jimmy wanted to be the one to put a bullet in his head.

  When they arrived at the ranch, Adam pulled up in front of Marian's house and let everyone out. Evan lit the torches on each side of the short walkway leading to Marian's house. Now that they were a couple, James felt he should move back into his house, so he kissed Becky goodnight. Evan also kissed Marian. The men left them standing on the porch.

  "Don't stay outside," James said.

  "Lock the doors," Evan said.

  As they walked away, Jimmy turned to Marian.

  "They're right," he said
. "You have to get inside."

  "We will, Jimmy. We're just waiting for Hannah."

  "I have to tell you something," Jimmy said.

  "What, dear?" Marian said.

  "That man, the one who shot Uncle James, he and Mr. Morgan think that man killed my mother."

  Marian put her hands on his shoulders.

  "Who told you that?"

  "I heard them talking. I heard them say her name."

  "I'm so sorry you had to hear that."

  She expected him to cry, but he stood tall.

  "I'm gonna kill him," he said.

  His vehemence troubled Marian. He was too young to talk this way. She put her arms around his shoulders and held him.

  "There'll be no more talk of killing tonight."

  She pulled away and looked at him.

  "You go on up to bed. Becky," she said, "help him get ready for bed."

  Becky put her arm around Jimmy's shoulders and walked him into the house while Marian walked over to Hannah and Adam.

  "Hannah, it's time to go inside."

  "I'm saying goodnight to Adam," Hannah said.

  "Please, I'd like to speak to Adam alone."

  Hannah let go of Adam's hand and went to the house. Marian hugged herself tightly.

  "I'm going to tell her about Pierre," she said.

  "I'm keeping her close," he said.

  Marian smiled. "Yes, I've noticed. You two seem to have come to an understanding."

  "I love her, Mrs. Dawes. She said she loves me, too."

  "Then she's in good hands. She'll be upset when I tell her she can't leave the house for a while. I'll need you on my side."

  "I'll make sure she listens."

  "You know how stubborn she can be."

  "I'm just as stubborn."

  "Be careful, Adam. If he is alive and thinks you have feelings for her, he may hurt you."

  "I can take care of myself."

  Marian walked back up the porch stairs as Adam took the carriage to the stable. She locked the front door and checked the back to be sure it, too, was locked. She then checked all the windows. Everything was secure. She walked up the stairs to Hannah's room and knocked on the door.