Cowgirl Education: a Camden Ranch Novel

by Jillian Neal

  Holly was already drunk on the aftershocks of the orgasm he’d just orchestrated to perfection. His talented tongue dipped deep within her channel and then spun up over her clit. She could feel herself pulse against his lips as she began to grind against the slight stubble on his jaw. The contrast of the soft heat of his mouth and the abrasion on her thighs made her quake.

  His every touch was masterful. Sex god indeed. His tongue gently coaxed at her swollen clit. She shook. He drew the tender bud into his mouth and began to suck. Every cell in her body rejoiced. She thrust hard against him, losing all control over herself.

  “Be still for me.” His command was laced with greed. He fixed his forearms over her thighs, pinning her to the mattress with his strength, and used his thumbs to further separate her lips. His tongue returned to her clit with torturous ministrations as he held her open.

  “Oh God, yes.” She tensed, trying to obey him but needing more. She was so close. Her entire body honed in on the strokes of his tongue.

  He lapped at her, alternating between drawing her fully into his mouth and bathing her as her body bloomed all for him. “That’s it. It’s right there, isn’t it, love? Gonna come on my tongue for me?”

  Holly managed a half-strangled cry. Her hands clawed at his sheets, trying desperately to cling to something as he deconstructed her entire world. Then he took her orgasm hostage, holding it just out of reach.

  She whimpered and begged constantly as his teeth nibbled at her inner thigh while her clit pleaded for him to return. He taunted her mound with his tongue and she was certain she was going to lose her mind.

  In a world-altering form of hostile negotiations, he dragged his teeth along her soaking wet folds. She thrust hard in his face, pushing against the strength of his arms.

  “I said be still,” he rasped as he affixed her to the mattress once again, not allowing her any more movement. “Now, ask me like a sweet girl to let you come. Let me hear you beg. You’re all mine. This is all for me. You understand that?”

  Something inside of her unhinged. He unleashed her own sex goddess with the power of his body and the tender caresses of his tongue. Master. How had he known? How had she allowed him to discover her darkest desires? It was as if he’d popped the locked clasp of a diary in her soul, one even she was occasionally terrified to read. The elaborate fantasies she allowed to play out in the darkness and conveniently forgot about in the light blended in the reality of him.

  He’d been holding back. She understood suddenly. Something about her thrust in his face and her flavors had freed the beast he housed behind that wall of muscle and reserve.

  She gave herself over to his control. The thing she wanted most. Clearly, the thing they both wanted. “Please, please let me come.”

  “That’s a good girl. If you can convince me you’ll behave, I’ll give you what you want. It’s all for me. Say you understand, sweetheart. You understand that you asked me to take what I wanted. I want all of you to belong to me. I want to own you and your pleasure. Every release is all mine. Only for me, and only when I say.”

  “Oh, God, yes.”

  “And only when you’re a good girl for me.”

  “Yes,” she cried out in relief that he understood exactly what she craved.

  Slowly he forged a path with his tongue back to her clit and circled it, refusing her still.

  “Please,” she cried.

  “Tell me who you belong to.”

  “You. Please.”

  “Say my name, love. Say my name, and I’ll give you what you want.”

  “Dec,” flew from her lips in a keening plea as he drew her fully bloomed clitoris into his mouth and suckled gently.

  Her entire world spiraled out from that one tiny spot of supreme pleasure. She lost everything she’d ever been. It all spilled out onto his tongue and he drank her like a parched man finally offered water.

  Clawing at his shoulders and gripping his thick black hair, she pressed his face to her as she rode the waves of ecstasy he orchestrated. Convulsive aftershocks shook through her and he finally lifted his head.

  The moment it took him to rid himself of his jeans made her feel raw and exposed. She needed him. Needed to be naked in his arms where for some unfathomable reason she felt safe.

  He returned to her as understanding settled her soul. This was indeed more than she’d ever experienced before. This relationship, Dec, her, it was more than she’d ever fathomed. It might just have been everything.

  Cradling her in his arms and tucking her head to his shoulder, his hands drifted down her side, settling her as he rubbed her ass. A half hour ago she would have worried that he probably noticed that her rear end was substantially larger than her breasts, but the way he held her close, the way he massaged as if he’d never felt anything so good erased any doubts she might ever have had about most anything.

  “There’s so much I want you to experience with me, sweetheart. God, I’m trying so hard not to just take, but I want to devour you. I can’t help it. I need more. I need another hit of you. I’ll never get enough.” His voice strangled with emotion.

  Shocked, Holly lifted her head and stared him down. He refused her gaze. Holding his face in his hands she forced his dark grey eyes, still sheened with need, to her own.

  “Look at me and listen to me, Dec. I am not a drug. You are not getting high with me. We’re making love and no one has ever made me feel the way you just made me feel. No one has ever understood the things I’m afraid to even say out loud.”

  “Never be afraid, darling. Never. There should never be any shame in your desires. Please, I want to hear them all.”

  “Fine, but you have to promise me that you understand that there is a difference in what we’re doing and using.”

  “Have you ever been high, Holly?”

  “No.” Somehow that felt like the wrong answer, but she wasn’t going to lie to him, not about this.

  “Never even weed? Nothing?”

  “No. I. . .just. . .never did.”

  Fully aware of him, she watched the harsh contraction of his Adam’s apple when he swallowed down that bit of information. His musk filled her lungs. His long eyelashes barely blinked. If she’d leaned in slightly to kiss him, she knew she would taste herself on his tongue. Her heart flew at the thought.

  “Being high used to feel better than the most powerful orgasm you could imagine times a dozen. There is a reason people use. No one understands that. They paint it out to be this dark world of lost souls and when you come ‘round, it is, but in that moment, the feeling is otherworldly. I’ve never felt that way about anything else until I laid down in this bed with you and took that climax from you, and I haven’t even gotten off yet. You may not be a drug that’s out for my death, love, but sweet Jesus, you are more addictive than anything I have ever experienced, and right now, I’m going to indulge myself.”

  He thrust against the slick dew still covering her pussy. His long, thick cock glided along her folds, instantly robbing her of breath. He burned like a hot brand against her tender skin.

  “Touch me, sweetheart. Put your hands on me. Feel me before I take all of you. I’m going to fit your tight little snatch to me and make you all mine.”

  A low purr of approval avulsed from Holly’s lungs as she wrapped her right hand around his cock. “God, you’re so big.” She mapped every ridge and vein with her hand, spun her fingers around his crown and eased down in the bed to lick the pearly beads of pre-cum seeping under the barbell piercing through the head of his cock.

  “That’s right. I am, love. And I don’t have enough restraint left in me to be gentle, so if you’re not ready, tell me now.” His command was a low, graveled growl. His eyes closed as she wrapped her hand back around him and gave a tug.

  “I’m more than ready, but you taste so good.” Once again, any inhibitions she’d ever possessed were gone. The Declan effect, apparently. She lowered her head to suck him fully.

  “Fuck,” he growled. “It does
taste good, doesn’t it, baby? I’m gonna fill you so full of it. Take more. Then let me see my cum on your lips.”

  Clearly voicing his desires wasn’t something he struggled with. Only too happy to comply, she ran the head of his cock along her closed mouth, reveled in the feel of the heated metal on his tightened flesh, and channeled her inner bad girl, indulging him in several voracious sucks. Lifting her head, she locked her eyes on his and slowly dragged her tongue over her lips, indulging herself in his flavors. “Fuck me,” she ordered.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Dammit all to hell and back, his would-be submissive, if only in his bed, just turned the tides once again. So now she wanted to be the one giving orders, did she? He sure as hell would fuck her. Fuck her so hard she couldn’t walk. God, she was tighter than any woman he’d ever been with. And he was going to take her higher than she’d ever flown. She didn’t think sex was a drug. He’d prove her otherwise.

  Pinning her to the mattress, he clasped her hands and held them over her head. “I’ll fuck you when I’m damn good and ready, darling. That’s how this works.”

  “Mmm, yes.” Relief played in her eyes. She didn’t want to be the one giving orders. Not really. Clearly in charge of her own orgasms for far too long, she hadn’t grasped that he was now her willing servant, a slave to her desires under his commands. She didn’t yet understand the power of giving him control. The yin and the yang. He would show her. He would teach her.

  Keeping her hands clasped in one of his own, he gripped his cock and ran it along her folds, letting her feel the apa piercing as it tempted her slit. “It’s gonna feel so good. Tell me you’re ready for me.”

  “So ready. Please, Dec.”

  He would never tire of hearing her beg. He swore he could get off just listening to her asking for him. Slowly, he eased his head just inside of her. Her pussy throbbed, desperate for more.

  “You feel that, love? You feel yourself milking me? So hungry aren’t you?”

  “Please,” came out in a breathless plea.

  “You feel my piercing?”

  “God, yes.”

  A dark chuckle shook Dec’s body, easing him further inside of her. “You’re gonna feel it all the way up, honey. Take me.” With that, he gave a full thrust and his entire world tilted off of its axis. Everything he’d ever understood dissolved in the silky heat consuming him.

  He’d tasted hell far too many times not to know when he was tasting heaven. “Jesus Christ, you feel incredible. So tight. So fucking beautiful.” He tried to explain what she was doing to him but there were no words. There was only her. Only her body accepting his own, accepting his failures, accepting him.

  Frantic for redemption, he baptized himself in her over and over, in and out blending together in a heavenly oblivion. He took and tried desperately to give back.

  “Oh God, oh God, that feels good. So. . .so good.” She barely managed the words. He captured her lips with his own, stealing her moans of pleasure as well. They were his. All his.

  She shook in his arms.

  Some part of his schooling and experience came back to him. Reaching down, he angled her legs higher over his back. “Right there. Cross your ankles over me.”

  She obeyed. Her thighs tightened against his sides, allowing his piercing to slide back and forth along her g-spot and his cock to fill her to overflowing. With the clench of his jaw, he damned back his own release, ridiculously anxious to leave his body to claim hers.

  “It does feel good, doesn’t it? Feels good when I take what I want.”

  “Dec. . .yes. . mmm.” Her head shook back and forth as she met his every thrust.

  His entire body drew taut. Not yet. Fucking hell, he hadn’t had this problem ever. What was she doing to him? That warm tidal pool of atonement he found in her arms drew him in and wouldn’t let him go. It felt too good. For the first time in his entire life he felt complete. “Look at me, Holly,” he commanded.

  Her eyes managed half-mast, and he swore he could see all the way to her soul in those dark, hungry depths. Every part of her wanted all of him. He didn’t understand it, but he had no power with which to deny her anything at all.

  “Come on, sweetheart. Come for me. Let me feel you. Let me hear you screaming my name.” With another thrust, she trembled against his girth. He took more. Faster. Greedy. Selfish. Precisely the way he’d sought every hit he’d ever scored. Only this was so much more. He desired the lustration more than the drugs. He’d never wanted anything more than for her to heal him.

  He pounded in harder and drew the orgasm from the depths of her soul. She did indeed scream his name and writhe wildly as her pussy spasmed around his cock, obliterating him.

  He seized, gripping her hips and forcing himself deep. His release barreled through his veins, decimating any resolve he ever hoped to have. His muscles tensed. His jaw went slack. She was too much. He spilled himself inside of her and then quickly pulled out so the next spurt of cum christened her pussy, swollen ripe from his love.

  “All mine,” he growled out his own pleasure.

  When he managed breath, he collapsed beside her on the sheets, tucking her close. She started to turn in his arms but he blocked her path, keeping her on her back. “Let me look at you like this, sweetheart. So damn beautiful.” Her body was painted in a dozen shades of rosy pinks from their passion. Like a sunset all for him. Her heavy eyes sought his. Her lips were bruised. Tender love bites resided along her neck and at the top of her left breast. Notes of his fingerprints were on her hips from his dominance and his need. Her pussy covered in his cum. His claims of ownership all over her. All his.

  The muscles in Holly’s body were the approximate consistency of a jellyfish. Exhaustion tugged at her eyelids. She should have been anxious, frantic even. No one had ever made her feel the way Declan did, and she didn’t even know what he did for a living, not really.

  All the many things she’d wanted to ask seemed too far to reach at the moment. The mattress lowered under his weight as he returned from the bathroom. She trembled when he tenderly rid her of his cum with a warm wet washcloth. The contrast of his power when that’s what she required and his tender touch when that was what she wanted was intoxicating. Maybe sex was a drug. All she knew was she did indeed feel better than she’d ever felt before times a dozen, just like he’d said.

  “Sleepy, baby?” he chuckled as he aimed and tossed the washcloth back on the tile floor of the bathroom all the way across the room. He eased them under the soft sheets and down comforter and cossetted her to his chest.

  “There was so much other stuff I wanted to do,” she yawned.

  “Oh yeah?” Though she was too tired to open her eyes she could hear the smile in his soft tone.

  “I wanted to touch all of your tattoos.”

  “Tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  “And I wanted to know,” another yawn robbed her of breath, “why you got your cock pierced.”

  “Pretty sure you just felt why, love.”

  “Yeah. That was incredible, but I don’t think it was the piercing. I don’t know. . .it was just. . .different. I think.” She tried to explain but couldn’t quite hit the mark. Words eluded her.

  “It was different. I felt it, too. Go to sleep. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.” He brushed a kiss on her forehead and turned off the lamp. The last thing Holly remembered feeling was the pillow of firm muscle under her cheek, and the last thing she remembered thinking was that she sincerely hoped she didn’t drool all over him.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The lyrics to I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith formed readily in his mind while Dec stared out his bedroom windows, trying to blame the terrifying emotions on the full moon. He was more than accustomed to not sleeping, but his own coping mechanism mocked him. The quiet of the night strengthened the calling’s voice. He’
d learned to use music to drown out the incessant craving for something to ease the burn.

  This time the truth refused to be dammed. Just as Aerosmith suggested, he would indeed stay awake forever just to hold her and know she was sleeping soundly in his arms. He had never felt this way about anyone, never Evie, certainly never Victoria, and the dozens of nameless, faceless women he’d had in between the two. Holly was everything to their nothingness, and he had never been more frightened. She deserved better. She deserved more. She had no idea what he did for a living. He had no idea how his cowgirl existed in the middle of a city, and what if she didn’t want to stay in the city? What then? What now?

  Tomorrow, he reminded himself, but it did nothing to soothe his nerves.

  He had no real idea how to be in a relationship. He espoused to know how every fucking day to his patients, but it was all a textbook ruse. He was nothing more than a fraud. He could quote and play lyrics about love, but he’d never actually experienced it. Was this love? He knew it had to be. Was it supposed to be this terrifying?

  She managed to twist him up in knots he had no idea how to unbind. He’d seen the longing in her eyes. The desperation to experience submission. That had been his goal. He’d lost that entirely somewhere in her pleading gasps and sinful moans. He didn’t know what the hell he’d been doing. All he knew was when he had her in his arms, that constant, exhausting call of the substances that at one time had been his master were silenced. She dammed his demons. How was that even possible?

  It wasn’t. Addicts were forced to live with their demons their whole lives. They were inescapable, but somehow she’d made them seem so far away they could never hurt him or anyone else ever again. She silenced their incessant howl.