Take Me As I Am

by JM Dragon

  “Hi, Joanna, have you had a busy day?” Thea picked up the knapsack on the side table and opened the closet door where they kept coats and shoes placing it on a hook inside. When she didn’t hear any response, she went into the living area and saw Joanna asleep on the sofa. It wasn’t an uncommon sight. During the past six weeks, Joanna was up early and working late into the night.

  With quiet steps, she moved closer and marveled at the smooth features that belied the lines that crossed under Joanna’s eyes and brow when she was wide-awake. It was as if, in sleep, she didn’t have a care in the world. Awake, she carried a burden that Thea didn’t understand. Joanna never spoke about anything from her past so how could she know.

  They had been friends now for four months. In that time, they had opened up some, but now that Joanna was so busy, their time for intimate conversations was scarce. Thea knew she couldn’t complain for she hadn’t found work yet and Joanna was the one who kept a roof over their heads and food on the table.

  Should I wake her?

  It took all of a second to say no. Instead, she headed for the kitchen to begin their meal. She grinned knowing that as soon as Joanna smelled the cooking, she would be awake and sitting at the table. If there was one thing Thea had learned early in their relationship, she could make Joanna very happy and content with a decent meal.

  Everything was going well in their world and she was happy. Very happy. Her fervent hope was that it would stay like this for some time to come and just keep getting better.

  †

  “Hi, Jack, how’s tricks?” Jo asked.

  Jack tossed his gray head to one side, looking at the beautiful woman who had sauntered into the smallest recording studio at Trigon Records. She looked as if she owned the place and if he admitted it, she did once she started to sing. Jo was a natural. She had a presence about her that defied her lack of star power. However, that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to become a star. If he had his way, she would be taking the whole country by storm in the next six months.

  “Tricks are fine, Jo, how about yourself?”

  “Good. I think we need to do “Needing You” again. It lacked something yesterday.”

  Jo was always to the point. It was another thing Jack liked about her. She had done nothing but work, work, and work harder still, every hour he allowed her in the studio. He suspected she did the same at home.

  “Andy’s helping Shawn with his backing track but I’ll get him here after lunch to do your track again. Do you ever think of anything but music?”

  “Not lately. I promised John-Henry that I would give it my best shot. Plus it pays the bills.”

  Jack watched the woman as she picked up the lyric sheet to the next recording they were going to practice. Her eyes were running over the words that she had written for the hundredth time, doing what she did best. She had a wonderful raw talent that rarely came into the right place at the right time. He felt that was now and he was going to see it happen. It wouldn’t do his record company any harm either if she became the next overnight sensation.

  “You go practice the songs for a while then I’d like you to join me and one of my business associates for lunch.” He saw the quick flash in her blue eyes. “It’s nothing sinister, Jo. He’s from New York. Believe me, I don’t want any distractions to the deal I’m making. What do you say?”

  Jo tossed her long raven hair to the side and grinned. “So far everything John-Henry told me about you being a decent record producer has been accurate so, okay you got yourself a date. Andy can wait until after lunch.”

  Jack smiled as he watched her pick up her guitar strumming a few chords as she prepared for the morning session.

  †

  It was eleven in the morning and Thea had done all the basic chores for the day. There was nothing left to do but to prepare dinner. She was going to make Joanna her favorite meal, or at least one of them. Joanna had a funny habit of saying every meal that she cooked was wonderful…and her favorite.

  A smile crossed her face as she recalled Joanna’s face while enthusing about her session the day before. She had been excited about one of the songs she had been working on and had said she had finally figured out the arrangement. Not that she knew what Joanna was talking about, but the look of rapt concentration and excitement convinced her that this was a good thing.

  Maybe tonight Joanna might come home early and they could talk for a change. The more she lived with her, the more Thea realized that they were still strangers, but at the same time, they fit together perfectly. Would Joanna ever think that way or would fame and fortune split them up? It was something that preyed on her mind but she refused to let it rule her life.

  It was a beautiful day and Thea decided to go on another open topped tour bus ride of the city. She picked up her purse and jacket before locking the apartment door. As she stepped out the door, she smiled—it was a good day. She just knew it.

  While walking along the sidewalk her thoughts drifted to Joanna and her preoccupation with her work. Her biggest fear was that once Joanna made it big—there was no doubts about that—she wouldn’t want Thea around. Her stomach churned at the idea as it did every time she thought of their future together.

  “Hi.”

  Thea swiveled her head toward the voice and was amazed to see the biker, who had asked her to go for a ride. Is he stalking me?

  “Hi,” she said hesitantly. When his blue eyes captured hers, she couldn’t help but smile. He probably was still in college and she had no doubt that she was older than he was.

  “Want to take me up on the raincheck?” he asked. He nodded toward the highly polished silver gray motorcycle.

  Thea laughed softly and shook her head. “Sorry. I’m going to have a tour of the city on one of the open topped buses.”

  The young man rubbed the stubble on his chin. “Are you meeting someone or could I accompany you? I’ve never been on an open top before.”

  Thea glanced into his face, saw sincerity there, and grinned. What harm could it do? It’s a public place and she’d like the company. “Okay, what about your machine?”

  “Where are you going to catch the bus?”

  “Two blocks north. I haven’t seen the north part of town yet.”

  “A good choice. That’s where the heart of Nashville really is. Tell you what, how about I give you a ride to the terminal and I’ll park my bike there.”

  Choices, choices what should I do? He was a stranger and Joanna had warned her about strangers taking advantage. Once I’m on the bike, he can take me any place. The feeling that told her Joanna was a friend it told her that the young man wasn’t going to hurt her. “I’ve never been on a bike before.”

  Blue eyes lit up and his grin made the man even more handsome than before. “First time for everything.” He held out his hand and shook hers. “Calum Rowlands, at your service.”

  Thea chuckled and took his hand. “I’m Thea Danvers.”

  Thea was surprised that she was giggling like a teenager as she walked with him to the bike. He handed her a helmet. “Has the machine a name?”

  Calum strode to the bike and held out his hand to help her mount the rear seat. “Absolutely. Rebel Rouser.”

  Thea laughed and settled in behind Calum and clutched his jacket instinctively as he revved up the engine. She would decide if Rebel Rouser was a fitting name later.

  “Thea Danvers, welcome to my world.” Calum grinned. “You might want to put your arms around me instead of gripping my jacket. It’d be safer.” Then the motorcycle roared forward.

  Unable to answer, Thea sucked in a shocked breath as they set off at what felt like was a hundred miles an hour.

  †

  “Jo, I’d like you to meet Lee Weston. Lee, this is Jo Lackerly, my rising star.” Jack grinned as he introduced them at the meeting table in his office. It had been set for an informal buffet.

  “Hi. Nice to meet you, Lee.” Joanna was pleasantly surprised to see a very handsome, well turned out man, wh
o was probably her age, smile slowly at her in a genuine welcome. He stood and held out his hand.

  “Hello, Ms. Lackerly.”

  The quiet but politely cultured English voice resonated in her ears. It was one accent she was quite happy to listen to all day. “Jo, please.”

  “Jo it is, then. Jack has told me a lot about you.” He motioned for her to sit opposite him.

  Jo scowled at Jack as she sat opposite the man. “The conversation must have been short then, since Jack knows squat about me.”

  Gray serious eyes glimmered with laughter and Lee chuckled. “You’re right. Jack doesn’t know that much about you personally but professionally he’s done nothing but rave about your talent. Perhaps we can right that personal information at lunch and then if we haven’t finished, would you care to join me for dinner later? At a restaurant of your choice, of course.”

  Jo eyed him for a moment trying to determine if he was one of those charming handsome men who thought every woman older than fifteen fell for him. “Sure, why not. Jack will call the best in town for us later, won’t you, Jack?”

  The door to the office suite opened and two servers from a nearby restaurant brought in the lunch and placed loaded platters in front of them.

  “Yep, I will.” Jack motioned for a server to pour the light sparkling white wine and nodded approvingly as Jo declined.

  “So, Lee, what brings you into town and why here?” Jo asked.

  †

  “You have some mustard on your chin,” Calum said.

  Thea laughed and wiped her chin before continuing to munch on her second hot dog

  “Where do you put all that food?”

  “I’ve always had a big appetite. My dad used to say he couldn’t take me any place where there was food, unless he hit the bank first.” Thea turned to look at one of the plaques on one of the older buildings that they were passing.

  “Yep, my pop says exactly the same. Even now.” Calum smirked before biting into his second burger.

  “Are you a Nashville boy, Calum?” Thea continued to walk along the sidewalk.

  “Nope, I was born in Hawaii. My mother is a native of the island and Dad met her while stationed there in the army. They moved around for several years until we settled here about ten years ago.”

  Thea heard the affection in Calum’s voice when he spoke about his mother but there was a slight aggressive tone when he mentioned his father. It didn’t sound like a major disagreement though.

  “What about you? Where are you from? Obviously you’re not from Nashville or Tennessee.”

  “I grew up in Danvers, a small town in the Midwest.” Thea answered. “My family basically owned the town a century or two ago. After my dad died, I was the only Danvers left in town. I tried to keep my motel going so I could continue the family legacy but it failed in the end. I left there three months ago.”

  “You tried to save your family name, quite at opposite ends to me then.” Calum turned to face Thea as they stopped at a curb to wait for the traffic to stop.

  “What do you mean?”

  “My dad wanted me to go into the family business. Had my life mapped out for me for the next ten years and I decided that I wasn’t going to do that. I wanted to live a little first. Needless to say, my dad is disappointed in me.”

  Thea sighed, wondering if anyone ever had a straightforward upbringing with parents who didn’t expect them to follow in their footsteps. Her father hadn’t been any better. He found it hard to loosen the apron strings and in the end, the lack of funds had been his final undoing.

  “Do you still live with your parents?” Thea thought it might be time to discuss the age difference. Calum looked like he belonged in college.

  “I was in college for three years. I finished last fall and came home to the high expectations from my dad. I live with my folks until I can get a job and rent a place for myself.”

  He must be around twenty-two. That makes me six years older. Why is he bothering with me?

  “I never went to college. The motel was struggling and Dad needed me home.”

  Calum nodded. “Sorry to hear that.”

  Thea saw his genuine compassion in the depths of his gray eyes. “What did you study?”

  “Oh, this and that.” For the first time, Calum wasn’t forthcoming. He changed the subject by pointing to another burger bar. “Want to try out a super whopper?”

  A trait she’d learned quickly living with Joanna was to know when to quit asking questions. “Of course. I love food.”

  Calum grabbed her hand, pulling her along gently toward the new eating establishment.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “I heard you sing today. You’re very good.” Lee Weston ran a finger down the side of his ice-cold beer glass to wipe away the moisture that had settled there.

  When Jo decided a steak and beer were what she needed after a heavy session in the studio, Lee hadn’t minded at all. Since arriving from England and becoming a vice president in the Trigon Corporation, he didn’t have time to do much socializing. His new assignment was beginning to look like it offered everything, especially the woman who was dining with him.

  “Thanks. Jack was talking of doing three or four venues a week around the country for the next three months until the first record comes out.”

  Lee heard the hesitation in her comment. “The live appearances will complement the record release. You need to have a public following.”

  He looked at her. “You don’t sound so sure about that?”

  “I know why I have to go on tour, but I was just settling in here and after spending ten years non-stop on the road. It is kinda nice to do that.”

  Lee, after resting his beer on the table, placed a hand on Jo’s hand that was idly tugging at the checked tablecloth. Blue eyes flashed at him and she pulled away her hand. He shrugged and settled back in his chair. “Once this tour is finished, maybe you can settle back on your laurels but now you need to do what Jack tells you. He has the experience in this field.”

  “I do listen to him. Do I get to take an entourage?”

  Lee considered the question seriously even though he wanted to laugh. “You better ask Jack. He’s the man with all the answers. Better yet, get your manager to make it part of the deal.”

  Jo looked up sharply at the reply. Manager? She didn’t have one, never had except the odd boyfriend who thought they were. “Yeah, I guess I’ll get my manager to do just that.”

  She smiled at the Lee who seemed to be different from other men she’d met. Maybe all men aren’t a waste of space after all. Some of them did have good points and she was warming to the man opposite her.

  †

  Thea paced the length of the small apartment for the hundredth time, not knowing what to do. Joanna hadn’t come home, it was nine-thirty, and worry filled her. She wanted to call the studio but didn’t want to appear that she was checking up on her. Joanna always called if she was going to be late at the studio.

  “What if she’s been injured and lying alone someplace, without any help?” Worry continued to fill her stomach with acid. “Where are you, Joanna?”

  With quick movements, she picked up the remote, switched on the television, and tuned to the local news station. Maybe there was a major traffic jam or something that stopped Joanna from calling or getting home. She didn’t care what it was just as long as her friend was okay.

  On a Friday, Joanna would sometimes come home early and they went to the local bar and shot some pool. So far, she hadn’t beaten her friend at the game but one day she would, even if Joanna didn’t believe it, she did.

  Her mind strayed to the day with Calum. He had been both witty and a gentleman and they had shared some family stories that seemed to help each of them in their own way. He had suggested that they meet up again tomorrow evening for a movie and he’d get the popcorn. She’d declined.

  The churning in her stomach usually didn’t indicate good things and she tried to stop her mind from conjuring up gris
ly situations involving Joanna. Her nerves were rattled and her call to Alice went unanswered. She needed to get her mind off Joanna and all the horrible things she was imagining was happening with her. “How can I keep my mind free of Joanna? I can’t. I love her.”

  Standing close to the window, she looked down on the street below hoping to see Joanna striding along toward the apartment. Was that too much to ask for? Her face broke into a wonderful smile as she saw the woman who had occupied her thoughts for several anxious hours step out of a cab.

  “It must have been traffic.”

  Thea’s smile died as she saw a man quickly come around from the other side of the cab and enclose Joanna in an embrace before they kissed.

  “Who is that she’s kissing? She can’t kiss anyone. She just can’t.” With tears smarting in her eyes, she dragged herself away from the window. Joanna had never mentioned being involved with a man. Why should she?

  Thea despondently dropped down onto the sofa and dried her tears. There was no way she was going to let Joanna see that it mattered to her that she was seeing a man. How could she? Joanna didn’t know how much she loved her.

  The door to the apartment opened and Thea watched as Joanna dropped her backpack onto the small table. The word ‘shit’ followed by the sound of breaking glass echoed in the small space. From her vantage point, she saw Joanna on her knees trying to pick up the broken pieces of the vase that had adorned the small table. Thea’s tender heart swelled as she saw the dark head bent at the task while several curses floated out of Joanna’s mouth as she tried unsuccessfully to retrieve the broken vase.

  “Leave it, Joanna. You’ll cut yourself.” Thea’s heart stopped for a second and then beat erratically as Joanna’s sheepish smile tugged at her heartstrings. She could smell alcohol and she gave her friend a closer look.

  †

  On her haunches, Jo looked at Thea and wondered why her heart tumbled in a nosedive as she stared into the expressive face. Thea wasn’t happy with her but she was trying to hide it. Jo always knew and that surprised her but this time the quizzical expression on Thea’s face was undecipherable.