Take Me As I Am

by JM Dragon

  Jo knew she was dreaming but with each concert, she hoped she’d look out and see Thea in the audience.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Hey, Thea, a penny for them?”

  A voice she recognized immediately pulled her out of her trance with a smile. “Oh, Mom, anything I was thinking about isn’t even worth a penny.”

  “Really? You looked so intense. Have the Henderson’s arrived yet?” Thea’s mother’s long tapering, well-manicured fingers swung around the guest register as she scanned the arrivals and departures.

  “They called about an hour ago saying they were stuck in traffic near Albany and will be late. I said it wasn’t a problem.”

  Karen Adams grinned at her daughter. Thea would make sure that she greeted new arrivals properly, even if they turned up at midnight. That was one of the wonderful bonuses when her daughter had arrived unexpectedly one morning almost ten months ago. Not only was it the perfect present for her birthday, but Thea had brought with her a flair for the business. Since she had taken on the role of assistant manager, the small hotel had gone from being an average place to an in demand upmarket place that was always full.

  Whatever it was that brought her daughter back into her life, she was eternally grateful for it. Although at times, like now, when she saw her pensive features, she knew that it hadn’t been a happy choice for her daughter to leave her old life behind. At first, she’d been inquisitive but the child hadn’t given anything away other than she had lived in Nashville with a friend for a short time after leaving Danvers and then it became time to move on.

  “Are you happy living here at the hotel, Thea? You could move in with us, you know?”

  Thea nodded. “I love it here. I get to do what I enjoy and have my independence too. What more could I ask for?”

  “How about having a social life other than coming to our house for dinner on Sundays? The only time you take off is the odd sightseeing tour during the afternoon or early evening.”

  †

  Thea didn’t make friends that easily and all she wanted to do was make her way in the hotel business, and maybe the social side could come later. The only friend she really wanted in her life didn’t care enough to make any contact. She’d left messages on her machine for a couple of weeks after she left but she never heard back. Thea had to admit that the letter she left had been firm in that she wanted to make her own life but Joanna could have replied just once. Alice knew where she was, but Joanna hadn’t asked. Thea couldn’t blame her.

  “Alice is coming to town soon and she’s a friend. I promise to make the effort and go out and about with her while she’s here.”

  Karen snorted, blinked, and then shook her head. “Your friend is in town for what, two days?”

  “No. She’s coming for four nights on her way to see relatives. She promised at Christmas she will stay longer, if she can.”

  As they were chatting, the swing door opened and in walked a short stocky man virtually bald with a ready smile and twinkling eyes. Alongside him was a taller younger man with a similar expression. “Now, what are you two ladies scheming? If I know you, Karen, it might not be in my best interests?”

  Karen grinned and turned to hug the man. “Now, when have I not been in your best interests, Grayson?” The man held her close, whispering something into her ear, before lovingly kissing her.

  “Oh, give it a rest can’t you? Thea, tell them it’s embarrassing.”

  “Bradley, I think our mom and your dad make one cute couple. How would you like to share some coffee while they continue to get to know one another again?”

  The comment was ridiculous as they had seen one another at breakfast only three hours before but it made them all laugh.

  Bradley Adams walked to his half-sister. “You should live in the house with us, Thea. Then you might consider I’m right.” He placed a warm arm around his big sister’s shoulders as they entered the back office.

  †

  “You look worried, my dear?” Grayson said. He stared at his wife with gentle eyes. He had fallen in love with Karen when he visited the Danvers area during his travels as a working salesman. He knew Karen was married, with a child, and kept his distance since his family had very devout ethics about the sanctity of marriage. However, the more he came to the town and got to know Karen, the more he couldn’t help falling head over heels for her. Karen was caring, gentle, and loved her daughter. The husband, on the other hand, was a different matter. He was a drunk, gambler, and the town joke. It was clear that Daniel Danvers wasn’t ever going to change.

  One day, he’d come home after losing all their money from a cattle sale that was going to take them through the winter and had expected Karen to exist for months on no income. He would never forget the day he’d walked into the motel and found her crying inconsolably in the small lobby. That had been the final straw and he asked her to go away with him. She said no, as he expected. He remembered seeing Thea, who was as pretty as a picture, hugging her mother for comfort. Three months later, they had left town together with Karen leaving her only child behind. It had broken her heart but she couldn’t have stayed after the bastard tried to sell her favors at the local bar. They had always intended to fight for Thea but Daniel Danvers had remarkably sobered up and caused such a stir about her running off, abandoning her child that they didn’t stand a chance of winning.

  During the years, Karen had tried to stay in touch, sending letters and presents to Thea, but now they knew Thea had never received anything. Daniel saw to that. Karen never stopped caring and had a friend in Danvers who provided regular updates to prevent her from going insane. When Daniel died, they’d considered going to talk with Thea but Bradley was gravely ill and by the time he recovered the chance was lost. Karen knew that Thea left Danvers and why. That was cause for concern until her friend told her it was the very best thing she could have done. The person she had gone with would look after her. Now reunited as a family, Karen had never been happier. That’s all that mattered to Grayson.

  “I don’t think she’s happy, Gray, there’s something in her eyes that remains permanently sad. She won’t talk about it, so how can I help her?”

  “In time she will, Karen. She’s finding her footing, that’s all.”

  “Do you really think so? I wouldn’t want to lose her again. Not after waiting all this time for her to be back in my life.”

  “Yeah, I do. Wherever she goes in the future she knows we are here for her and that must mean something, right?”

  “I love you, Grayson. Did I ever tell you that?”

  He chuckled before slipping his arms back around her and giving her a tender kiss. “Every day, my dear, every day. Shall we go see how our brood is doing?”

  Hand in hand, they went behind the reception counter into the back office. As they opened the door, he heard laughter and it warmed his heart.

  †

  Now standing in the apartment that she had shared with Thea, Jo surveyed the empty rooms, thinking that Thea would walk through the door and ask her what she was doing. Her friend would be aghast at the mess she was leaving behind and that mess only amounted to a couple of empty boxes and the dust that had accumulated during the time she had been touring. It hadn’t had a proper cleaning since Thea left. Then again, she hadn’t been in the apartment much since that time.

  As she looked around one last time, she sighed heavily. This was the end of this particular journey. In the future, she would never have to live in a place like this again. She had bought a property in New York by the ocean and it belonged to her outright. It was something she never thought would happen in her life. For now, she was renting, with the option to buy, a super apartment in the most desirable area of Nashville. Once more her thoughts traveled to her friend. Thea would love all the labor saving gadgets and the décor in the new apartment. It was light and airy and Thea would have had a wonderful time filling the place with her plants and flowers.

  Her bank balance was healthy, or so Jack
said, and she had no reason to distrust him. She was due to tour Europe and Asia in three months’ time. The world was literally at her feet yet she felt restless and didn’t enjoy the accolades she was receiving. Jack indicated that he was worried about her schedule, afraid that she’d burn out before she could reap the rewards of her success. Maybe he was right. There was something eating at her insides, refusing to allow her to stop. If she did, she might not get up again.

  “Hi.” A voice she barely recognized hailed her from the open doorway.

  “Alice.”

  The last time the two had spoken, it was antagonistic and Jo had been too shocked and unhappy to retaliate properly. She might be tired but she wouldn’t put up with another tirade from the woman.

  “I’m fine, you’re looking…worn out but well,” Alice said softly. “It’s obvious you aren’t happy to see me and that is understandable. I was angry and lashed out at you and I’m sorry for that.” Alice shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if you would ever return. I’ve seen the odd person come around who had a key but I didn’t see you. I figured you’d given the place up. You’re famous now, congrats.”

  “Thank you. I’m here now. I decided it wouldn’t be right to leave everything to a stranger to pack. Besides, there are things that belong to Thea and I couldn’t let anyone else deal with them.”

  “I miss her too.” Alice’s voice held a tinge of sadness.

  “Look, I need to go. I have another appointment.” Jo jangled her keys and looked around the doorway and the memory of her throwing her knapsack on the dainty table that always held welcoming blooms came to the forefront. It was a bittersweet recollection and how she wished she could do that again. She still could. The housekeeper could place the small table that she still had in her new apartment near the door with a vase of fresh flowers every day. In her heart, she knew it wouldn’t be nearly the same.

  “I won’t keep you, I hope your career continues to shine and you and your husband are happy. See you around, Jo.” Alice walked out into the hallway with Jo following behind. “I’ll use the stairwell so you can use the elevator.”

  “Alice.”

  “Yes?” Alice turned back around.

  “After Thea left, I broke the engagement. I never married.” Jo thought that was common knowledge but apparently not. “Have you heard from Thea?” There was no way she would let Alice leave without asking that question. Please, let it be good news.

  “She’s fine, Jo. Working hard but she’s well.”

  “Where is she?”

  “I promised that I wouldn’t tell anyone. I’m sorry but I have to honor her wishes.”

  “I see. Will you tell her that I asked about her?”

  “Yes, of course I will. Maybe now that you are back in town, she’ll call you. I know she tried to call several times and got no answer.”

  “I never received any calls or messages from her.” Jo’s heart thudded in her chest.

  Alice shrugged. “That’s what she told me.”

  Jo jabbed at the elevator button in irritation. How had she missed Thea’s calls? The elevator doors opened and she got in. Alice was still standing there. “I’ll see you around, Alice.”

  †

  Alice watched the elevator doors close and knew that with the way Jo’s lifestyle was taking off, there wasn’t much chance of them meeting again. Oh, well, I can always boast I knew Jo Lackerly before she became famous.

  Now, she’d go back to her apartment and call Thea. Her friend would want to know that Jo had been there and hear what she’d had to say. The question was how Thea would handle the news. Alice already knew that her friend probably wouldn’t do anything for Jo’s actions tarnished her well and truly.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Hi, Stella. How are you doing today?”

  “Hey, Thea, I’m good. What about yourself? I see your arms are full, as usual. Can I get you some help?”

  “No, I’m good.” Thea grinned while walking in step with the older sprightly woman who owned a seamstress business next to a bakery operated by her husband.

  “You should get out more. I keep telling your mother just that and she says you will not listen. You young people are all the same…thinking you know best. We’ve already experienced it before so you should listen to us.”

  Thea grinned at the comment. “Bradley was going to help me but he has baseball practice.”

  “Oh, that boy is spoiled.” The older woman chuckled. “Of course I spoiled my son and now my grandchildren.

  “Yeah, but I never knew I had a brother, so I’m making up for lost time. He’s a very caring young man and reminds me of someone I once knew.”

  “Ah, so our Thea has a secret love affair buried away, has she?”

  Thea laughed nervously at the comment. It was so close to the mark but no one would ever know that, especially now Joanna was a star. “Nope, a friend. A good friend at the time. He was very caring like Bradley. We berate men but some of them are wonderful. Don’t you think?”

  Stella and her husband had been married for almost forty years and her mother was hosting a party at the hotel to mark the event.

  When they entered the bakery, Thea breathed in the wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread. She loved to stand on the threshold and take in the distinctive aromas.

  “Ah, two lovely ladies. What brings you in today?” asked a tall, strikingly handsome man with swarthy Mediterranean looks, twinkling brown eyes, and a sharp Grecian nose.

  “Alex, you flatterer, you will be having me spying on all your customers in a calculating way if you carry on like that.”

  The man moved from around the counter and hugged the woman. “Stella, you are my one true love. No one can ever take your place.”

  Stella grinned in Thea’s direction.

  Ever since arriving in this part of the Hudson Valley Thea wondered if it wasn’t magical. Everyone who was a couple seemed to thrive in this environment. She wondered if things would have been different between she and Joanna if they’d come here first.

  “Thea, when you have this, don’t give it away ever. No matter how absurd or impossible it may seem, it is too precious to lose,” Stella said.

  Thea shook her head, wondering if she would ever get the chance to feel like that. For a brief time she did have that. But it wasn’t mutual.

  “Leave the girl alone, Stella. She has plenty of time. Although I do know one or two eligible bachelors—”

  “No. No. Please, Alex, I’d rather try to find the right person on my own. Thanks all the same.”

  The man released his wife with a wink and went back around the counter. “You should bring someone to our anniversary party, Thea. They would be most welcome.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll be busy on Saturday.”

  Alex smiled broadly and set about putting together her order.

  Thea’s mind drifted to the conversation she’d had with Alice, saying that she’d spoken with Joanna. What a surprise that would be, if she invited the singer to the party and she turned up. Thea knew the older couple enjoyed Joanna’s music since she’d seen the CD in both the bakery and at Stella’s shop. It would probably make Joanna self-conscious to see the fan worship. Maybe it wouldn’t. She was probably used to it by now.

  The very CD she was thinking of flooded the room and Joanna’s rich voice reverberated all around her. She smiled as she recalled the song. The one she had last heard at the television studio.

  “Why do you look so sad, Thea?” Stella asked. “Don’t you like our choice in music?” Stella looked at her husband.

  “Oh, yes, I do. Very much. She has a wonderful voice, doesn’t she?”

  “Yeah, she does. A rags to riches story, I hear,” Alex said. Thea noticed his miserable expression. “She was always rich, just never realized it.”

  Thea, wondering what he meant gave him a surprised gaze. “I don’t understand.”

  “What he means is that with a voice like that and so much talent, how could one ever be poor,” Stella
said.

  “Of course, that makes sense.”

  “I did read that her personal life is in tatters,” Stella said. “Seems she was engaged and broke it off just before she hit it big.”

  In the background, Thea heard Joanna’s voice gather strength as she hit a high note at the end of the song. She had purposefully avoided all the magazines and websites with items about Joanna, not wanting to know how happy she was with Lee.

  So she ditched him right after I left. Hmm, I wonder why.

  She recalled her phone call with Alice who’d said that Joanna told her she never got the phone calls Thea had made to her. She knew she had the right number for it was a number she’d never forget. Maybe she knew who it was and didn’t want to answer.

  No, Alice was certain she was sincere when she told her she didn’t receive the calls. Should she try again? If she did and she didn’t answer then she’d know what Joanna really thought. She just couldn’t take that chance.

  †

  “I think you should reconsider, Jo. Your throat infection isn’t clear yet and you need to give it another week or two. We can rearrange the concerts in France and Germany, start the tour in Italy instead, and reschedule them,” Jack pleaded in earnest.

  Jo had been ill for most of the month, reluctantly agreeing to a vacation before another grueling tour. This time it wouldn’t be as arduous—only four months. The immense amount of traveling and jet lag would take its toll eventually, just as it had at the end of her last tour. Jo didn’t seem to care one-way or another and that troubled him. If it hadn’t been for the housekeeper informing him that Jo was ill, he wouldn’t have known to send in one of the top doctors to help.

  “No. I’ll be fine. Trust me, I know my body, and it hates sitting around. Once I’m back on the road, everything will go like clockwork.”