The Junior (College Years Book 3)

by Monica Murphy

  “Michelle’s out there, schmoozing with everyone. Kevin is too.” Kevin is Michelle’s husband. They own and run Mitchell’s together. “You’re fine in here.”

  “Oh okay. Good,” I say, relief filling me.

  “Can I join you?”

  “Um, sure,” I say, suddenly feeling…what. Shy?

  No way. I never feel shy. I go for what I want, balls to the wall. Hayden and I pumped each other up throughout our freshman year at college, telling each other we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted it. It was liberating, being at a school where no one really knew me, and I could start completely over. Be who I always wanted to be. Back at home, where I grew up, I was just…that girl. Gracie. The quiet one. The athletic one. No one gave me much credit for anything beyond being fast on the track.

  Yet here I am, all alone with Caleb, feeling unsure. Like old Gracie.

  “What’s going on in that head of yours, G? I can see the cogs spinning,” he says, ever observant. Unusually perceptive when it comes to me.

  “Nothing.” I shake my head and smile, not about to reveal any insecurities to this guy. “I’m excited for the fireworks to start.”

  He sends me a skeptical look and I keep the smile plastered on my face, not about to waver now. He does not get to see me act all vulnerable and shit. Nope.

  “Come on, let’s get some chairs,” he tells me and we do exactly that. He grabs the heavier one and carries it over to the window while I find a fold-up chair leaning against the wall that someone probably left behind in one of the boats.

  We set up the chairs in front of the window, Caleb pulling them close together when I suddenly hear patriotic music start up.

  “What’s that?” I ask.

  “Oh, they have a recording they play along with the fireworks. It’s all in sync and every resort blasts the music. It’s actually pretty cool.” Caleb settles his big body in the heavier chair. “Sit down. Relax.”

  I can’t relax with him so close, especially when I know what he wants from me. What I want from him. I’m still thinking about his earlier proposition, but come on.

  We both know I’m eventually going to say yes.

  I sit on the fold-up chair but it kind of sucks. And it’s dusty. I can feel Caleb’s eyes on me as I try to get comfortable before he finally says, “Come here.”

  I whip my head in his direction, startled by the downright sultry tone of his voice. “What do you mean?”

  He pats his thigh. “Come sit on my lap.”

  “Caleb…”

  “I won’t do anything too inappropriate,” he says, holding up his hands.

  Notice how he says the word too. As in, he’ll be semi-inappropriate, but not too terribly so.

  I push myself out of the chair and stand in front of him. “Are you sure?”

  “You’re blocking my view, babe.” He grabs hold of me and pulls me into his lap, and I have no choice but to let him rearrange me as I sit there so that he’s got one arm wrapped firmly around my waist. “You comfortable?”

  A white burst of sparks fills the sky, lighting up our faces. He’s watching me very carefully, his lids at half-mast, and he looks sleepy.

  Sexy.

  Shit. I’m in so much trouble.

  Nine

  Caleb

  This is the closest I’ve been to Gracie in…a while. I remember the first time I met her, when we went to that concert for her lame ass ex’s band Bat’s Cave, and she sat on my shoulders. I’d been surrounded by Gracie, her freaking crotch pressed against the back of my head, and I remember thinking then, this isn’t a bad place to be.

  Currently holding Gracie while she sits on my lap, thinking once again, this isn’t a bad place to be.

  Not a bad place at all.

  The fireworks have started. The first one was a dazzler, spreading white sparkles wide across the sky, but the next few have been duds, which is typical for this yearly show. I keep my arm firmly around Gracie’s waist, and I notice how stiff she’s holding herself. As if she’s uncomfortable sitting on my thigh.

  She weighs nothing. She’s all long limbs and slender curves. Her scent is driving me out of my mind. The sunscreen and flowers thing must be a fucking aphrodisiac. I want to bury my face in her neck and take a big whiff, but she’d probably shove me away and call me a freak.

  Which, maybe I am, I don’t know.

  Instead, I restrain myself, never letting her go, trying to get her to relax.

  Slowly but surely, she does. The fireworks continue, perfectly in time with the music, and everyone outside is oohing and aahing as they light up the dark sky. Though Gracie’s still holding herself a little too stiffly for my tastes.

  Without warning, I spread my legs and pull her down in between them. The chair I’m sitting in is wide enough, so she’s a perfect fit. She glances up at me, sending me a questioning look and I just stare back, unsure of what to say. I want her close. As close as I can get her while we still have clothes on.

  I’m hoping later tonight will end in more fireworks with no clothes on, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself either.

  “You still have the stars on your head,” she murmurs, though she’s not looking at me. Her face is angled upward, watching the show.

  “They turning you on?” I ask, sounding extra hopeful.

  She laughs, which is the reaction I was hoping for. “Maybe.”

  “I knew you were into some kinky shit, G.” I dip my head, nuzzling the side of her face. “Want me to wear them later tonight when we’re naked?”

  “No,” she says firmly.

  “Aw, why not?”

  “Because we’re not getting naked tonight,” she says, again very firmly.

  Too firmly.

  The disappointment is real, but I banish it. “I thought that was the plan.”

  “We shouldn’t rush things.”

  Now I’m just frustrated. “Why not?”

  “I’m not out for a quick bang,” she says. “Is that what you want?”

  Hell to the fucking yes. I’m dying for a quick bang. And a long, slow one too. Whatever kind of bang it is, I want to bang Gracie.

  “You know what I want,” I say instead, tightening my arms around her, just as three fireworks fill up the sky. Red, white and blue –in that order, too.

  “No, Caleb, and that’s my problem. I have no idea what you want,” she says, her voice the slightest bit shaky.

  Huh. This is not very Gracie-like behavior at all. She’s always so confident, so sure of herself and what she wants. Am I making her feel unsure?

  That’s not cool. That’s the last thing I want this beautiful, bright woman to feel.

  I touch her face and she leans to the right, away from my hand before glancing up at me, her gaze meeting mine. I can’t tell what color her eyes are at this moment, but she looks pretty. She always looks pretty.

  “I want you,” I tell her with all the sincerity I can muster. Not that it’s difficult. I’m telling the truth. I want her. I want to get closer, as close as I can get. I want to know what she likes, what makes her respond, what makes her come. I want to know all of it.

  Every little thing.

  “If this is just a line, I’m going to kill you,” she says, her voice full on edgy. Like she could kill me with her bare hands if I make the wrong move, say the wrong thing.

  I can’t help but chuckle. “I’m full of lines, G. You know this, yet here you are.”

  She reaches for me, her fingers wrapping around my nape and tugging my head down, until our mouths are perfectly aligned. “Please stop talking. You’re ruining everything.”

  I part my lips, ready to say something stupid, but she kisses me before I can get the words out. Probably the best move. She’s right. I would’ve ruined it all, or we could’ve started arguing.

  Instead, I’m kissing her. Soft, teasing kisses, with no tongue. Not yet. I’m trying to warm her up, get her in the mood, savoring her taste. In the privacy of the office, with all sorts of
people surrounding us on the dock, it’s easy for me to take my time and learn what makes her whimper.

  What makes her moan.

  Her fingers tighten in my hair when I take the kiss deeper, my tongue flickering against hers once. Twice. Before I retreat. My neck is starting to ache and my dick is starting to harden, but I ignore everything else to concentrate on this kiss.

  We essentially kiss for the rest of the fireworks show. It’s like one big make out sesh, which I haven’t done since…what? Junior year of high school? So it’s been a while, and fuck, I’m enjoying it. The give and take. The strain to get closer, our bodies brushing, hands wandering but never too far. The way our tongues tangle and dance, the sounds she makes in her throat, the feel of her as she shifts against me, like she’s trying to get closer. I thread my fingers through her hair, angling her head where I want her, and she doesn’t fight me. It’s as if we’re finally in complete sync, like the fireworks and the music, working together.

  The nearby crowd suddenly bursts into applause and we break away from each other quickly, our breaths ragged, the fireworks show coming to an end with an explosion of constant light and sound. The entire sky fills up with endless fireworks, one after the other, launching an epic climax and making everyone outside lose their shit.

  Too bad I’m not about to have an epic climax in this moment, but hey. I’ll settle for kissing Gracie.

  Though not like it’s settling. Not even close.

  I dive in for another one, but the kiss is short. Gracie presses her hands against my chest, and I break away first, watching her as she slowly opens her eyes. Her lips are parted and swollen, and her hair is a little messy, thanks to me running my fingers through it. Her lips curve into a faint smile as she reaches for the star headband still on my head and she plucks it off, settling it on her own.

  “I can’t believe we just kissed for like, fifteen minutes, and you kept this on your head the entire time.” She nods, making the stars bobble back and forth.

  “I think you’re hot for my new look,” I tease her, touching her chin. Her cheek. “I’m going to keep wearing it if you keep kissing me like that.”

  “Says the guy who doesn’t like kissing.”

  I blow out an exasperated breath. “I never said I didn’t like kissing, G. I said I wasn’t a big fan of kissing. There’s a difference.”

  “Not really.”

  “There is to me.”

  She pulls herself out of my arms and stands, tugging her T-shirt back into place before running her fingers through the ends of her hair. “Should we help outside?”

  “I think we can leave whenever.” I glance out the window to see people are already leaving the dock.

  “I forgot to clock out,” she says with a frown.

  “I did too, but it’s no big deal.” I shrug and then stand, stretching my arms above my head. “Let’s get out of here.”

  I wait as she gathers up her stuff and locks the office. We chat with Kevin and Michelle, which was smart because it allows everyone else to pack everything up in their cars and get on the road, which is currently filled with a steady stream of traffic. By the time we’re climbing into her car, the traffic has died down, and we don’t have to wait long to get the hell out of here.

  We don’t speak as Gracie drives, and it reminds me of the ride here earlier, when I kept my AirPods in and she would barely look at me. I hope to God she’s not pissed at me right now. Not after what just happened between us.

  I kind of can’t stop thinking about it. I’m reliving it in my head at this very moment.

  “We need to establish rules,” she says about ten minutes into the drive, with the windows down and the cool mountain air rushing over us.

  “Rules about what?” I glance over at her, the way she’s driving with one hand on the wheel and the other is resting on her thigh. I want to grab that hand and hold it. See what she might do.

  I quickly stop myself from thinking along those lines, frowning. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?

  “Us. What we’re doing,” she stresses.

  I grin. “Why put rules on it? Let’s just see what happens.”

  “If we just ‘see what happens,’ we might end up hurting each other and ruining our friendship,” she says, ever so logical.

  “That won’t happen,” I say with way too much confidence.

  “You don’t know that for sure.”

  “I do. I like you too much. We’re friends. We’ll keep it that way.” Friends who fuck, is what I’d love to say, but she’d probably get pissed.

  And I’m jumping way ahead of myself. I need to calm down.

  “You like me too much?” She sounds doubtful.

  “Yeah. You’re fun. You’re a good time, G. I like arguing with you and talking with you and now I’ve discovered I like kissing you too,” I say.

  She’s quiet for a moment, and I wonder if I said too much. Or not enough? I never know with this girl. Sometimes, she makes me uneasy. Just when I think I have her figured out, she surprises me by changing it up.

  I like that about her.

  “I have to go slow,” she finally says. “To make sure this is what I really want.”

  “What do you mean, go slow? You never go slow,” I remind her.

  “Right. It’s normally full speed ahead, and I’m bored immediately, ready to get rid of the guy and move on to the next.” She slowly shakes her head, as if she’s disappointed in herself. “I’m tired of that. I—value your friendship too, Caleb. And while I’m so incredibly tempted to just throw myself at you and have a wild time this summer, I also know we could do some serious damage to our friendship by having sex.”

  Again, she’s so rational. Her explanation makes total sense. But…

  Here’s where I think like a dog. She’s student teaching in the fall. She won’t really be on campus anymore. And once she becomes an actual teacher, she’s off campus forever and I’ll be a senior and we won’t ever have to see each other again if we don’t want to. Yeah, Tony and Hayden will most likely still be together—they are seriously so disgustingly in love it’s sort of pathetic—but that doesn’t mean I have to hang out with them when Gracie is around.

  She’ll be easy to avoid if it all falls apart.

  Does this make me a complete dick, that I’m thinking like this?

  Yes. Yes, it absolutely does. But I can’t help it. This is how I roll. I am who I am. And Gracie knows this. She knows who she’s dealing with. I’m not going to change.

  Even though I’ve already conceded to her on the kissing thing. For Gracie, I’ll make the exception.

  But that’s it. That’s the only concession I’ll make. Everything else we do will be on my terms. If not, then we’re done for. Finished.

  “We won’t ruin our friendship over a couple of quick fucks,” I say quietly, making a face as soon as the words leave my mouth. Again, I sound like a jerk. Why do girls bring this out of me?

  More like, why do I always say this kind of shit to girls?

  My friends would say this is just who I am, and maybe that’s true, but sometimes I wonder if I could eventually calm the hell down, find a nice little woman to settle with and not act like such an egotistical, perverted asshole all the time.

  I’m sure I could do that eventually, but as for now?

  I’m happy with who I am.

  “Ha!” she says, the sound sharp. “Whatever you say.”

  I watch her for a while, but she won’t even look in my direction. “I’m assuming you’re not going to get naked with me tonight.”

  “Your assumption is correct.”

  I bang the back of my head against the passenger seat. “Another night of jerking off in the shower then.”

  She laughs. Evilly, I might add. “Sorry to disappoint, but I guess so.”

  “You’re missing out, you know,” I mutter, closing my eyes.

  “Oh really?”

  “Yeah, for sure. Why let all that be wasted in a shower?”


  “I’m not ready for you yet,” she says primly.

  “You can handle me.”

  “Ugh, you make it sound so dirty.”

  I crack open my eyes to watch her. “You know whatever happens between us eventually, it’s going to be dirty.”

  I render her silent again, and it fills me with so much satisfaction that I close my eyes once more and slowly drift off.

  To thoughts of her.

  Ten

  Gracie

  “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” Hayden squeals when she spots me hiding out in the kitchen, shoving tortilla chips into my mouth.

  I pause mid-shove, letting her hug me close and smother me with her Hayden best friend love. “Where have you been?” she murmurs close to my ear just before she pulls away.

  I hold up a finger, chewing and swallowing the chips before I speak. “Working. A lot.”

  She frowns. “Stupid work.”

  I feel bad that I haven’t seen her, though part of the reason has nothing to do with work, and everything to do with me and Caleb hanging out—as friends only. I don’t tell anyone what Caleb and I are up to because I don’t want their automatic assumptions that will then turn into judgment, though I think Eli is on to our game. It’s kind of hard for us to hide that we’re hanging out together by choice when we all live together. And while Eli is gone a lot—he’s always with Ava—he did catch the two of us on the couch together one night, looking guilty as hell with messed-up hair and rumpled clothing.

  Caleb had been tickling me. That’s it. But it looked like more, and we didn’t bother with explanations. Eli took one look at us, shook his head and sighed, and then went to his room without a word.

  What Caleb and I are doing is nothing. We’re just spending time together. No kissing. No real touching. It’s like we got the kiss out of our system and we’re cool just being friends.

  At least that’s what I tell myself when I wake up in the middle of the night, aching over some dream I had where Caleb and I are naked together.

  Tonight is the first time the gang has been together in a while, and Eli and Caleb decided to throw a party, a last celebration before practice kicks into high gear and their schedules turn hectic. It’s nearing the end of July, three weeks since we started our friendship pact, as I like to call it.