The Killer's New Wife

by Hamel, B. B.

  “No,” he said. “Although I didn’t save you.”

  “You showed me what my father really is. Living with him and not knowing—that would’ve been worse than this.” I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears.

  When I opened them again, his expression softened, and he touched my knee. “I know you’re struggling with this,” he said. “There are no easy answers. I am what I am, and I don’t think I’ll ever change.”

  “You could,” I said.

  “But I don’t think I will. I kill for my family for a thousand reasons, and I’ll keep on doing it until I can’t anymore.”

  I nodded a little and had to stare out the window again. I believed him, really heard the conviction in his voice, and it broke my heart. He was a good man, deep down, I had to believe that—otherwise he wouldn’t have cared so much about trafficked women. He knew what it meant to suffer, and he went through some horrible things as a child, but maybe he was simply broken, and no matter what happened, nothing would put him back together.

  I couldn’t do it. I knew that, knew it with all of me. I couldn’t fix this man, even if I wanted to desperately, and if I was going to follow through with my decision to marry him then I had to accept what he was.

  I had to accept that he was flawed and deeply conflicted about the world, but wouldn’t change, because he loved his family too much.

  It hurt, but I understood it at some level. I loved my father that way, and I wasn’t sure if I would’ve been able to give him up if I’d known the truth about him before.

  “Look there,” Ewan said, leaning forward. I followed his gaze and watched two guys leave the house. I didn’t recognize either of them, but Ewan seemed to know who they were.

  “Where’s Ronan?” I asked.

  “Don’t know,” Ewan said. “Might’ve left already. My guess is, that’s a safehouse. Probably more than a few Healy guys in there right now.”

  “What do we do?” I asked.

  “We go get some answers,” he said, and opened his door.

  I followed him out onto the sidewalk. Rush hour was over and the streets were quiet. We stayed far back from the guys, the pair of them laughing, talking to each other. One was short and thin, head shaved bald, skin deeply tanned, wearing a jean jacket and baggy pants. The other was a head taller, but big and round, wore all black, and rolled more than walked.

  Ewan seemed at ease but I felt like I might throw up at any moment. We were close enough that they could look back and spot us.

  “Who are they?” I hissed, moving closer to him.

  He slipped his hand into mine. I almost recoiled, but he held it tight and kept me pulled close, like a lover walking with his girl. “The smaller one’s named Hyde,” he said. “Low-level dealer. The other one’s his partner, Franz. I met those motherfuckers at a party years ago, back before they were connected to the Healy family.”

  “You’re sure they’re Healy?” I asked.

  “Positive. Otherwise, they wouldn’t come out of a Healy safehouse, but I heard they’d joined up. Hyde goes where the money’s best and Franz follows. They’re like a fucking team.” He grinned a little and seemed like he was in a good mood, like he was out for a sporting hunt or a fun game.

  I let him pull me along, still holding his hand. For a few blocks, I tried to force myself to pretend like we were a normal couple out for a stroll on our way to get breakfast. I’d drink coffee and laugh as he tried to eat a double stack of pancakes, and when he failed, I’d finish off what was left over. Then after breakfast we’d sit in the park and listen to the buskers play and sing, and for a little while, we could feel good.

  I didn’t know if that would ever happen. Ewan’s life was a truck with its brakes cut, rolling wildly through the city, liable to smash into something and kill everyone nearby. I didn’t know if I wanted something normal with him, not when his hands were so drenched in blood.

  But I kept thinking about it, which must’ve meant something.

  “Up ahead,” Ewan said suddenly. “There’s a school. It’ll be empty right now.”

  “What’s the school have to do with anything?” I asked.

  “Come on.” He walked faster and I hurried to catch up. I wanted to ask questions but he looked determined. I saw the school ahead, down the block, surrounded by high chain-link fencing. It was an industrial building made from red brick with a mural of two children reading on the side.

  As we got close, Ewan released my hand. I wished he’d keep holding it, but I knew what that meant. I fell back a little bit and watched as he got within a few feet of Hyde before he spoke up.

  “I was wondering where you two were going,” Ewan said in a friendly tone.

  Hyde looked back first. His face was screwed up in confusion, and when he saw Ewan, his eyes went wide with shock. He grabbed Franz’s arm and tugged the big man closer, and when Franz turned around, he cursed.

  “Ewan, what the—” Hyde started, but didn’t have time to finish.

  Ewan moved fast and jammed his fist into Hyde’s teeth. The small man gasped in shock and covered his mouth. Blood spurted from his broken lips. Ewan turned to Franz as the big man tried to grab something from his waistband but struggled. Ewan grinned and jammed his elbow into Franz’s throat then punched him hard enough in the gut to double him over. Ewan reached around Franz’s back then pulled a gun from his waistband.

  Hyde stood there, hand over his bleeding mouth, and didn’t move. Franz groaned on the ground, choking and gasping for air, but finally looked up.

  “In there,” Ewan said, gesturing with the gun toward a gap in the chain-link fence that led into the school parking lot.

  Hyde didn’t move. “What the fuck are you doing?” he asked.

  “Go in there or I will kill you right here and now,” Ewan said.

  I looked around wildly. There was nobody in sight, but houses loomed up all around, and anyone could’ve been looking out their window.

  Hyde moved first. He dragged Franz up, then the pair staggered into the parking lot. Ewan followed them, holding the gun up loosely. I came last and stood near the entrance, watching the sidewalk, body vibrating with fear and adrenaline.

  Ewan gestured toward the wall of the house next to the school. The lot was empty otherwise. “Stand there,” Ewan said. “Back against the wall. Go on, both of you.”

  Hyde and Franz stood next to each other, their heels against the wall. Franz was breathing heavily, and he pawed at his neck, while Hyde spit blood onto the ground.

  “What’s this shit about, Ewan?” Hyde said. “Fuck, I think you broke one of my teeth.”

  Ewan lowered the gun down, but held it in one hand at his side. “I know you two idiots are working for Colm Healy,” he said. “I need information.”

  “We’re not—” Hyde started, but Ewan took one step forward, and he stopped.

  “You two just left a house that Ronan Healy entered last night,” Ewan said softly. “And I’ve heard the fucking rumors. Don’t play games, Hyde.”

  “Just tell him,” Franz croaked. “Fuck, tell him whatever he wants to know.”

  “That’s the spirit.” Ewan showed his teeth. “I only need to know one thing.”

  “What?” Hyde asked, suspicious, and glanced toward me.

  “Where’s Colm been staying?” Ewan asked.

  Hyde shook his head. “I’ve got no fucking clue,” he said. “I’m a nobody. You know that. I’ve got nothing to do with leadership.”

  “He’s not lying,” Franz said, and leaned his head against the wall. “Fuck, Ewan. You think we want to lie to you?”

  “I think you’re afraid of me,” Ewan said. “But you also know that the Healys will kill you just as easily as I will. Got to be real careful, right?” He stepped forward and raised the gun, and pressed it against Franz’s gut.

  “Ewan,” Hyde said. “Come on. What the fuck?”

  “Where has Colm been staying?” Ewan asked.

  “I don’t—”

  Ewan pu
lled the trigger.

  It was loud, shockingly loud, though muffled by Franz. I gasped and had to cover my mouth to stop myself from screaming. I instantly felt like I was back in my father’s house, watching him get executed. Ewan had the same cold, dead eyes, like he didn’t give a damn what he did.

  The big man grunted in shock and stumbled to the side before hitting the ground. Blood burst out from his wound and leaked onto the ground. The big man moaned in pain and weakly patted at the hole in his stomach, trying to stop the bleeding, and Hyde stood horrified and transfixed, his hands against his mouth, not moving an inch.

  Ewan turned the gun to Hyde. I knew he’d kill Hyde if he didn’t talk, and I wanted to beg him to tell Ewan everything he knew, but I was terrified. I kept scanning the block and the windows, looking for a witness, but the place was quiet, like gunshots were common. It was insane, so insane.

  “Where has Colm been staying?” Ewan asked.

  “Breakfast,” Hyde barked.

  Ewan hesitated. “Talk.”

  Hyde squeezed his eyes shut, trembling. “Breakfast. I don’t know where he’s staying, but I know where he’s getting breakfast.”

  “Where?” Ewan asked.

  “Place called Baby May’s,” he said. “It’s right near Drexel. It’s a fucking college place normally, but he likes their food, so shit, he goes there in the mornings real early, right when they open.”

  “Are you lying?” Ewan asked.

  “No,” Hyde said. “Fuck, Ewan, let me call an ambulance. He’s really bad, man.”

  Ewan glanced down to where Franz lay bleeding. “Better call fast,” he said, and shoved the gun into his waistband. “Next time, tell me what I want to know the first time.” He turned and walked toward me, and I stared at him.

  There must’ve been fear in my eyes, because I saw his expression shift into something like pain, then soften. He reached me and put a hand on my arm. “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “You shot him.”

  “I know,” he said. “Would it make you feel better if I said that he’ll probably live?”

  “Not really. Maybe. I don’t know.” I sucked in gasping breaths and realized I was panicking.

  He took my wrist and steered me away. We walked out onto the sidewalk again and I heard Hyde yelling into his phone, begging the 911 operator to send an ambulance as fast as they could.

  Ewan didn’t hurry. He had blood splattered on his chest and arms, but he smiled, and looked like he wanted to whistle. I felt like I needed to scream, but his hand was hard on my wrist, and we made it back to the car without any issues.

  He started the engine and looked at me.

  “If you want to freak out, now’s the time,” he said.

  I started crying. It burst out of me, big fat fears, hot on my cheeks. Ewan drove back to the apartment, smiling the whole time. It took me most of the car ride to finally calm down, but when I did, he leaned over and wiped away a tear.

  “We got a lead,” he said. “Cheer up. We’ll kill Colm and all this will be over.”

  I only nodded, because that wasn’t true, not even a little bit, because I still had to marry him, I had to marry the killer, and it scared the hell out of me.

  17

  Ewan

  I gave Tara space. She was messed up from watching Franz get shot, and I couldn’t blame her. It was an intense thing to do, but I couldn’t waste time interrogating those scumbags, not when it felt like each second was precious. The Don could die at any moment, and I couldn’t let him go before I took revenge on Colm for him.

  “What’d you find?” Dean asked over the phone the next morning. Tara stayed in her room most of that day and all night, and I wasn’t going to force her to come out before she was ready.

  “Ran into our old friends Hyde and Franz coming out of a Healy safehouse,” I said.

  “No shit?” Dean laughed. “God damn, those two are real pieces of shit. Remember that girl?”

  He didn’t need to specify which one. I knew who he meant. She was one of Hyde’s girlfriends, and one night Hyde got so messed up on speed that he beat the girl’s face until half her teeth were missing.

  Franz wasn’t much better. He knocked the rest of her teeth out for crying too loud.

  In retrospect, I was happy I shot the asshole.

  “You might be pleased to know that Franz might be dead,” I said.

  “Might be?” Dean sounded amused. “That’s not like you, to be uncertain.”

  “Tara was there,” I said. “I didn’t want to do anything to intense, so I only shot him in the gut.”

  “Oh, god,” Dean said. “What happened?”

  I gave him the quick version. “I think I know where I can find Colm though,” I said.

  “How sure are you?” Dean sounded on edge, and I thought I heard beeping in the background, like the sound of a heart monitor.

  “Very sure,” I said. “Hyde wasn’t going to lie to me in that moment. He was desperate.”

  “All right,” Dean said. “Keep doing what you have to do.”

  “How’s the Don?”

  There was a short silence. Something muffled Dean’s receiver at his end, and I thought I heard him walking somewhere. A door shut in the background. “Holding in there,” he said. “He’s old, you know? Doesn’t heal as well. But everyone’s coming in all the time, paying tribute and keeping him involved. I think he’ll pull through.”

  “He better,” I said, and meant it. “I’m going to kill Colm for him.”

  “I know you will.” He let out a soft laugh, but there wasn’t much behind it.

  “I’ve got to ask you something,” I said after a pause, and glanced toward the hallway where Tara was hiding back in her room. I thought about the look on her face, pale white and drawn and terrified as I pulled her away from where Franz lay bleeding on the ground.

  She kept pushing me about being a better person, and I hoped she’d come to realize that I was a monster, and maybe she’d run after all.

  “Yeah, man, what’s up?” Dean asked and he sounded slightly distracted.

  “Why does your father want me to marry Tara?”

  Short silence. “Loyalty test,” he said. “You know that.”

  “No,” I said, letting my voice drift down. “Why does he really want me to marry her?”

  Another longer silence. “Shit, Ewan,” he said. “Do you really want to know?”

  I leaned up against the counter and stared at my ceiling. So it was fucking true. They wanted Tara to give them her father’s secrets.

  “Your father knows how I feel about the sex trade,” I said, desperate and angry and feeling betrayed. “He knows what that would do to me.”

  “I know,” Dean said, almost pleading. “I’ve been trying to push back. It’s not my thing either, man, and we’ve got plenty of money and power, and there are other markets to grow into.”

  “Why’s he doing this then?” I asked. “Why the hell would he use me for it?”

  “You know my dad,” he said, and sounded genuinely tired. “Games within games. I think the loyalty thing is real, but I think the real test is whether or not you’ll help him start up his trafficking business.”

  I felt like my heart was going to break. The bastards knew about my mother, they knew that I wouldn’t cross this line. I thought my family would never ask this of me, and now it was obvious that I was just another body to them.

  “I’m not going to do it,” I said, gripping my phone tight. “I don’t care what the Don says. I won’t get into trafficking. I’ll marry Tara, but I won’t do that.”

  “I know you won’t,” Dean said. “I’m talking to him. I’m trying to work this out.”

  “Get him to drop the business,” Ewan said. “I mean it, Dean. Otherwise, I’m done.”

  “Ewan—”

  I hung up the phone and threw it down onto the counter. It clattered away and smashed up against the drainboard. I stared at the ceiling and felt like it was falling in on me, like i
t would crumble and crush me into bones and dust.

  I heard a noise and looked to my right. Tara stood in the hallway, watching me. “You okay?” she asked.

  “How much did you hear?”

  “Most,” she said. “I was right then.”

  “You were right.” I looked at the floor. I couldn’t meet her gaze. “They know how I feel about it, and they’re still going ahead.”

  “Does Dean agree?” she asked.

  “He thinks he can talk his father out of it, but that’s never happened before, and I don’t know why it would happen now.” I pushed away from the counter and stalked into the living room. Tara’s eyes followed me, but she didn’t get closer.

  I couldn’t blame her. I was an animal, a wild beast, willing to shoot men in the stomach for information, all for a family that didn’t give a shit about me. Colm Healy and the Don weren’t so different, not really. Maybe the Don was slow to get into sex trafficking, but he’d do it sooner or later if it meant more money, regardless of how his most loyal lieutenant felt.

  “What are you going to do?” Tara asked, and drifted closer.

  I looked at her and shook my head. “I don’t know.”

  “I can’t give them what they want,” she said softly. “You know that, right?”

  “I know,” I said. “You don’t have to worry. I won’t let them come near you.”

  She grimaced and shook her head. “That’s not what I mean. When I can’t help them, they’ll go looking for someone else. If your Don wants this trafficking thing bad enough, he’ll make it happen.”

  “Whether I like it or not,” I said.

  She walked to me and reached up. Her fingers touched my cheek. “I’ve been thinking,” she said.

  “Is that what you’ve been doing in there?” I asked, smirking slightly, trying to lighten my horrible mood.

  She smiled in return. “I think you got lost, Ewan. You fell into something, and now you don’t know how you get back.”

  “I think I was always like this,” I said, and took her hand in mine. “Broken and bruised.”

  “I don’t know,” she said, tilting her head. “I’m afraid of you. Is that bad?”