The Reluctant Expat: Part Four - Settling Down

by Alan Laycock

  “Did you get that, Bern?”

  “Sure did. How do you say ‘dampers’ in Spanish?”

  “In that context, I don’t know, but Inma’s right. I mean, how much use will Malcolm and Angela get out of this thing?”

  “They can afford it, but it’s a big expense for us, as I’m not having some clapped out pile of junk. Let’s forget about it for now,” said Cathy.

  “And look at the stars,” said Inma.

  We looked at the stars.

  “This is the life,” said Bernie, who could never keep quiet for long. “We could do this again tomorrow night, nearer to home.”

  “If we find a place as big and safe and quiet as this, yes,” I said, still fearing that a stray pyromaniac might burn us in our beds, something that seldom happens on campsites.

  We soon turned in and spent a peaceful night.

  The following morning we awoke to hear rain hammering on the roof, so in true hobo style we filled the tank at the next petrol station and drove the 180 kilometres back to Cathy and Bernie’s place where, after consulting Angela, we left the Hymer, as it would be safer there than at the isolated hotel.

  “I suppose in a way we chickened out a bit today,” I said to Bernie as he drove us home in the sunshine.

  “Yes, but we’ve seen a lot, haven’t we? Did you enjoy it, Inma?”

  “Very much. I’ve enjoyed travelling with you and Cathy.”

  “So have we, with you two. When’s our next expedition then?”

  “Who knows? What with the hotel and everything… oh, aren’t Christine and co. coming sometime soon?” I asked.

  “Not till the summer was the last I heard.”

  “Oh, well, that’s good. I should have more time then.”

  “You hope,” said Inma.

  “I hope.”

  11

  “Álvaro said he didn’t see Inma’s daughter once,” Zefe said peevishly a few days after our return.

  “She was studying. She hardly ever left the annex.”

  “He saw no movement there whatsoever.”

  “Unless she came to study in the cave, for a change,” I said, the blood rising to my face, as I’m a poor liar, not having practised the art much since my schooldays.

  This conversation was taking place in the municipal swimming pool, at the shallow end of our usual lane where we were resting prior to tackling our final lengths.

  “Did Álvaro not come to see you in town?”

  “Of course, and he admired the new floor.”

  “Good.”

  “Although he noticed a few loose tiles in the bathroom.”

  I sighed. “I’ve told you I’ll come to stick all the loose ones down when I can,” I said, having been spending much more time at the hotel, supervising the laying of the lawns which Angela had ordered, and personally clearing the undergrowth from beneath the nine weary pine trees where three wooden benches were soon to be placed. Being there in work clothes made me more inclined to spend time with the builders, the number of whom appeared to be dwindling day by day.

  “Where’s Diego?” I asked Arturo one sunny afternoon after wiping the sweat from my brow.

  “Gone.”

  “I can see that. Where’s he gone?”

  “To a new job.”

  “What? You can’t start a new job until you’ve finished this one.”

  “Tell Cristóbal that.”

  “I will. Where is he?”

  “Upstairs.”

  “With Miguel?” I asked, as they often worked together on the trickiest jobs.

  “No, Miguel’s gone too.”

  “Right,” I said, before stomping upstairs like Basil Fawlty on the trail of Manuel, as my legs are pretty long too.

  When I came across Cristóbal, however, just the sight of his stocky legs on the end of a stepladder dissuaded me from taking him to task.

  “Er, have you got a minute, Cristóbal?”

  “Can’t you see I’m busy?” he said in a muffled voice, his upper half being out of sight through a bathroom ceiling panel.

  “Yes, but I want a word… please.”

  He took his time climbing down. “Well?”

  “Why have Diego and Miguel gone to do another job?” I asked boldly.

  “Because it came up, and I can’t afford to turn down work. If you’d done your job and persuaded them to have a house built, we’d have moved straight onto that, but as things stand I have to think about the future.”

  “But what about the deadline?”

  “What about it?”

  “There’s still a lot to do here.”

  “It’ll be done in time, all being well.”

  My peeved pout turned into a cunning smile. “Remember your contract, Cristóbal. If you finish late, you’ll pay for it.”

  “I haven’t forgotten, and we would pay for it. Anyway, if you’re so concerned, why don’t you stop messing about outside and lend a hand in here?”

  “Me?”

  “Who else? Arturo can show you how to mix and that’ll free him up to do other jobs.”

  “I know how to mix,” I snapped. “And lay tiles and… things.”

  “Well get him to show you how he mixes, then send him up here.”

  “It’s already four o’clock.”

  He grinned. “We don’t finish until seven.”

  I went downstairs to learn how to mix sand and cement the way Cristóbal liked it.

  That evening when I was laying out my overalls for the following day’s early start, my phone rang.

  “Hello, Angela,” I said, unsure whether or not to tell her that I was going to join her manual workforce.

  “Alan, we must recruit right away,” she said with uncharacteristic urgency.

  “I thought you were coming in a week or so to do that.”

  “Malcolm’s just reminded me that workers have to give a month’s notice, in Britain at least. In any case it’s time to start looking for staff.”

  “Yes, I think it is,” I said, smiling at my overalls. It wasn’t that I was unwilling to lend a hand on the job, but Cristóbal had assumed I’d be doing eleven-hour shifts every day like the others and I found the prospect a bit daunting.

  “I’m flying out tomorrow morning, as there isn’t a moment to lose.”

  “Right, well I’ll drive the Hymer over to the hotel then. Is Malcolm not coming too?”

  “No, he’s busy. Er, Alan, I’m not too keen on staying in the Hymer alone.”

  “Right.”

  “Or on hiring a car and driving alone.”

  “Right. Well I’ll pick you up at the airport then.”

  “Thank you, Alan.”

  “Would you like to stay here with us? We have a little annex for guests,” I said, Zefe’s irate face flashing before my eyes.

  “Yes, please, I’d like that. I’m not used to travelling alone, you see.”

  She told me her arrival time and we said adios until the morrow.

  “We can’t possibly put her in the annex,” Inma said when I told her the news. “She must eat and sleep here with us. We do have spare rooms, remember.”

  “You don’t mind, do you?”

  “Not at all. She’s a nice lady and it’ll be good for you to spend time with her without that huge husband of hers.”

  “Yes.”

  When Angela and I arrived home from the airport at noon the next day, she slid her laptop from its case and we got down to work.

  “I’ve found a good job site, so I think we’ll advertise on it,” she said, showing me the list of jobs.

  “OK.”

  “Cristóbal tells me that we now have the permits, but it’s all ever so complicated. Oh, we shouldn’t have gone to Iceland to see the northern lights. I should have been here.”

  I chuckled politely. “You do travel a lot.”

  “There’ll be no more holidays for a while now. We’re going to have a lot of work to do.”

  “Yes,” I said, not sure whether or not to be pleased
by her use of the word ‘we’. Although it made me feel wanted, it might also herald future irksome ties, but I decided to go with the flow for the time being.

  While I made a pot of tea she studied the job website, her Spanish by now being good enough to understand that sort of thing.

  “We can either use an agency or advertise the jobs ourselves,” she said.

  “The agencies are the experts,” I said. “I mean, I’m not even sure what staff we need, and we do need to appear to be professional.”

  “True, but I want us to interview the candidates.”

  “Of course.”

  Anyway, to cut a dull story short, after contacting an employment agency based in Elda we drove over to see their resident hotel expert, who recommended that we employ a manager, an assistant manager, three receptionists cum administrators, two cooks, three kitchen assistants, four waiters and/or waitresses, three chambermaids, a caretaker cum maintenance man, and a gardener cum chauffeur, the two final posts being of a flexible nature.

  “That should do for a start,” said the placid, balding young man in English, which I didn’t mind because Angela had to understand every word. “There are only twelve rooms, after all.”

  “Er, that seems like rather a lot of staff,” I said, as Angela appeared to have been struck dumb.

  He peered at me patiently over his slim reading glasses. “They will have time off, days off and holidays, remember.”

  “Ah, yes.”

  “Some of them may be part-time,” he conceded. “I suggest you give six-month contracts to begin with for most of the posts. That way if they’re no good you can get rid of them after a month.”

  “We’ll do that then,” said Angela. “We want to have all those people you mentioned, and we’ll pay about ten percent over the normal rates.”

  The man smiled. “Good. The only problem I foresee is finding a good manager at such short notice. You should have come to us earlier,” he said, looking accusingly at me.

  “I am the owner,” said the owner. “Alan here is a friend who is assisting me.”

  I breathed one of my inaudible sighs of relief.

  “I see. A good manager would normally give more notice to his employer, as it is a key post. Ideally you would already have a manager to carry out the interviews, as an experienced manager would know which people are right for each post.”

  “How can we get a manager quickly?” Angela asked.

  “By offering them a high salary and a good contract, of course.”

  “I’ll do that,” she said. “But won’t they have to give notice anyway?”

  He smiled, showing his teeth this time. “If offered a high enough salary and a permanent contract they may be persuaded to leave their employer quickly. The hotel world is like that.”

  “Then there’s no time to lose,” she said. “Please find me candidates for all the jobs as soon as possible.”

  “Of course. Leave it with me. Do you wish to interview them here, with our expert assistance, or at the hotel?”

  “Here,” I said.

  “At the hotel,” she said.

  “At the hotel,” I confirmed.

  “I want them to see the place and where it is.”

  “Where is it?” he asked.

  I described the location.

  “Hmm, most of the staff will be local people, but they must have their own transport. The manager, however, will probably come from further away, possibly the coast, so you may have to offer accommodation at first, to… entice him to come.”

  “Or her. We’ll do that,” said Angela.

  Impressed by the man’s English, which was at least as good as my Spanish, notwithstanding his rotten accent, I asked him to recommend a really good asesoría, or advisory service, to help manage the business. I suppose I should have run this past Angela first, but on grasping the magnitude of the forthcoming venture I wanted it to go as smoothly as possible, not least because the thought of becoming involved in such unfamiliar affairs made my hair curl. I mean, my dealings with bureaucracy in England had been minimal and I wasn’t about to become embroiled in something that I might struggle to get out of if I didn’t like it. In short, the old, responsibility-free me was reasserting himself before it was too late.

  He handed Angela a card. “These asesores are the best in the area and their offices are just down the street. We work with them a lot and they are familiar with the hotel trade. Tell them I sent you. They will assign you a person who speaks excellent English.”

  “We’ll go there now,” said Angela.

  I could have kissed her, but restrained myself.

  It was six o’clock by the time we left Elda and I hummed softly as I piloted the Ibiza along the mainly straight road back to town.

  “You sound happy, Alan,” Angela said with a chuckle.

  “I feel relieved. It all sounds much simpler now that you’ve left so many things in the hands of experts.”

  “I knew we had to really, as Malcolm told me what I must do.”

  “Ah, right.”

  “I realise that you don’t want to get involved in the management of the hotel, Alan, so don’t worry about it. You’re being a great help anyway, looking after me and giving me moral support. I’m very grateful for that.”

  Having felt a bit guilty about being so eager to avoid taking on new responsibilities, I’d totally forgotten that what I was doing was pretty useful too.

  “I hope I don’t tie you up too much during the coming days, Alan.”

  I pictured my still clean overalls. “Oh, not at all. I had nothing important to do. I’m more than happy to help.”

  “You’re a good man to have around, Alan.”

  “Oh, I try to be,” I said modestly.

  “What time do you call this?” Cristóbal growled the following morning at nine. “And what the hell are you doing dressed like that?”

  I just smiled like Clark Gable and surveyed the almost completed reception area, glad that he was there.

  “Oh, hello, Angela. I not know you here,” said the great chump a moment later.

  “Does he often speak to you like that?” she muttered.

  “Oh, we like to tease each other. I’d been planning to lend a hand today, just for fun, you know.”

  “Hmm. Cristóbal, please show me around.”

  After a ten-minute tour we returned to reception and Angela said she’d only seen two men on the job.

  “Yes, and me,” he said, displaying his dusty hands.

  “There were lots of men here the last time I came. Where are they now?”

  “Manchegos finish. Also plumbers and electrical men finish, more or less.”

  “And your other men?”

  “Not here today.”

  “But there are still many things to do.”

  “Yes, no problem.”

  “The final deadline is the end of April. It would be good to have it finished before then, as the furniture and everything else will be arriving the week before.”

  “Yes, no problem.”

  She nodded and clicked her tongue ominously. “Malcolm will call you later. Come on, Alan.”

  I gave Cristóbal a pitying look and followed her into the future lounge, before borrowing Arturo and fetching a half-decent table and the best four chairs we could find.

  She surveyed the freshly plastered but unpainted walls and sighed. “I suppose this will have to do for the interviews.”

  “Yes, at least they’ll see that it’s a brand new hotel that they’re going to become involved in,” I said, feeling more upbeat in my role as a mere friend and helper.

  “As soon as we get applicants I want us to interview them, Alan. They’ll be the keen ones and if they’re all right I’ll take them on.”

  “OK.”

  “I hope I’m not imposing myself on you. I can go to the hotel in town, if you like, as I suppose I’ll be here for at least a week.”

  “No, you’re more than welcome to stay with us,” I said, as th
e evening before she’d proved herself to be a charming, discreet guest with whom we both got on well.

  “And we must talk about your salary soon. You’ve already started work, after all.”

  I held up my hand and shook my head. “No, Angela, not until the hotel opens,” I said magnanimously on recalling the whopping great commission that Juanca and I had received. “Until then I’m just a friend lending a hand.”

  “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  I shrugged and smiled bashfully, before opening the unvarnished door and ushering her out.

  12

  By that evening the agency had forwarded the CVs of thirteen people. Five of them were locals and I helped Angela with the wording of an email which asked three of them to present themselves at the hotel the following morning at half-hourly intervals from ten o’clock. I included a link to a map, before asking her if the email wasn’t a bit too brief and inflexible.

  “No, they’re free to reply and ask to come another time, of course, but being a Saturday they should be free. What do you think of the two applicants for the manager’s job?”

  “Well, the one in Cuba probably won’t be able to come quickly enough, but the chap working in Almansa ought to be able to make it all right. It’s only thirty-odd miles to the north of here.”

  “Hmm, I like the fact that he used to work in London and Preston, as his English should be good. Aren’t you from near Preston?”

  “Quite near, yes.”

  “But I don’t like the gap in his CV, or the fact that he’s now managing what appears to be little more than a bed and breakfast. I ask myself what he was doing for a year and a half between his time in Preston and Almansa.”

  “Hmm, he worked in good hotels in Madrid and London before going to Preston. Shall we see him anyway?”

  “We might as well, but let’s ask him to come on Monday.” She chuckled. “I’d like to get some practice doing tomorrow’s interviews first.”

  She sent him a short email and closed the laptop. “That’s enough work for now. I don’t want to bore Inma.”