by Alisa Grey
Sam hugged me and I kissed him. I put my hand on his leg and I suddenly felt the desire to make love to him.
«We’d better go inside».
«Guess so».
He helped me stand up, then he took Edward in his arms. We entered the house and shut the door. We put the kids to bed and went to sleep ourselves. We kissed and I put my hand between his legs. I knew he wanted me. I kissed his chest, then his belly.
«You’re tickling my belly».
«Eddy likes it».
«I like it too, but I like it more somewhere else...»
I knew what he meant, so I kissed him where he wanted to. He was sweating and humming, then he took my head with his arms and came. I unleashed Hugo, as we called it, then I kissed Sam’s mouth. He hugged me.
«I might die, someday», he said.
«Why? Wasn’t Hugo pleased?»
«He was, but my heart can’t always beat so fast, you know».
I kissed him.
«I can always behave».
«Please, don’t. Hugo and I love you the way you are».
«So... may I continue?»
«You may», he replied kissing me.
«I love you», he added.
«You’ll never betray me, right? In London many husbands take lovers».
«I don’t need lovers. And we’re not in London».
«What if we were?»
«You’re the only one for me».
«I like it, when you tell me such things».
«I’m jealous and I love you much, Claire».
I laughed.
«What? I’m getting better and better at hiding my jealousy. Plus, we have two kids. You can’t escape from me now».
«Escape?»
«Right. You sometimes do, you know...»
«You mean I neglect you?»
«Sometimes».
I knew we were like that. We liked to provoke one another.
Some two days later Sam went with Eoin to the flourmill. Mr Scott would be able to tell him something about Elizabeth Gray.
He was a short man. He had a round head and few hair. He knew everything about everybody, because he owned the flourmill. He met everyone from time to time. He liked chattering, furthermore. He had two and ugly sons. They both looked like their father and they were not especially smart.
«Good morning, Mr Scott».
«Mr Campbell! I don’t get to meet you often».
«The farm keeps me busy... and I have two kids...»
«And a very charming wife, right? She must keep you busy».
He laughed.
«She’s a very nice person».
«Of course. And I surely expect men to notice that!»
He laughed again.
Sam was getting angry, but he kept his cool.
«Do you happen to know Elizabeth Gray, Mr Scott? She had come to visit us on Sunday».
«She came to visit you? Must have been pretty curious about you, then...»,he said thoughtful.
«Curious?»
Mr Scott didn’t answer that.
«Mr Scott?»
«She was never married. His fiancé broke up with her few days before the wedding. For a younger and nicer woman».
«A black-haired and blue-eyed woman?»
«Right».
«I see».
When Sam came home, he told me everything he had found out. She must have written the letters, then. She must hate me. She could see that I was very similar to the young woman who had stolen her fiancé. Plus, I had a family and she didn’t. She must have thought that those letters would make Sam and I have a fight. What was she thinking now that she had met us in person?
It was July. Rhona came to me and showed me a letter.
«It’s from India! Is it your friend?»
I looked at her. I didn’t want to tell her anything about the letter.
«I shall read it».
Rhona stared at me. Then she left. Good, so Keir was alive, which was something. But I knew Sam wasn’t going to like the fact that the boy had written to me twice.
I looked at the envelope. Sam would be home in two hours or more. I opened it.
May the 20th, 1895, New Delhi
My beloved Claire,
I always think of you and I can’t live without you.
We have been attacked, but I have been a valiant soldier so I got promoted and I am in New Delhi now.
I was injured, but my leg is recovering very quickly. The doctors say it’s going to be fine and I’m not even in the hospital anymore.
I have to walk with a stick for a few weeks.
I want to meet you. And I want you to be proud of me, so I’ll be brave and do my best in the army. My fellow soldiers asked me why you never write me back and I said your family doesn’t approuve of me, so we have a secret relationship.
Sam was not going to like that part, I thought.
India is such a complex country. It is mystical and colorful. Life is ruled by nature. Rivers are huge and people speak many languages. They don’t believe in the same religion and they believe that after death the soul reincarnates in other bodies several times.
The food is spicy, the smells are strong. Curry is very common here and sometimes I can’t even tell what it is that I am eating.
Women wear shiny dresses. Some of them are very beautiful and they smell good. They decorate their bodies in ways I had never seen. I like the way they paint their faces and their eyes. They have long dark hair. They tie themin braids.
Maybe he’ll find an Indian girlfriend, I thought.
I always think of you. Your face, your eyes. I can’t forget you. I can still taste your lips. I will always remember our kiss and I will never find anyone as beautiful as you.
Sam is not going to like this.
I will be eighteen soon. You’re just twenty. In such a fairytale country, I think everything is possible. I can even believe you are going to love me, someday.
I’ll write to you.
Your loving,
Keir Murphy
I finished the letter and knew at once that India wasn’t doing Keir any good. I didn’t feel comfortable about that. I hid the letter and tried to think of something else. When Sam got home, I made an effort to be as nice as usual. I wanted to wait before telling him about Keir. I wanted us to be alone and relaxed.
When the moment came, I didn’t quite know how to act. I decided to tell him straight away.
«I got a letter from Keir».
He stared at me.
«I want to read it».
I had foreseen that reaction, but I had not been able to foresee what he would do, once the letter read. Keir was not in danger anymore and he had been pretty clear about his feelings for me. The letter was not a discreet one. What would Sam do?
«I need to be alone», he said. Then he left.
I stood still. He was angry. What shall I do? I feared he would break up with me because of that letter.
I decided to fetch him. He was standing in the stable, hia back against the wall.
«Sam? Are you angry? You know I didn’t encourage him...»
He pretended not to hear me.
«What’s wrong, Sam? Are you going to leave me?»
He turned to me.
«Are you insane?», he said in a cold voice.
«Do you want me to go back to London?»
He came to me.
«You are not going anywhere without me. I don’t want you to!», he said pushing me against the wall.
He looked like a beast. He was not my sweet and loving Sam, not at all.
«What do you want me to do, Sam?», I said breathlessly.
«You break it up with Keir, or I’ll do it».
«How can I do such a thing?»
He kicked the wall with his fist, just a few centimetres from my head.
«Claire. I mean it».
I stood still. I was scared and shocked.
«What do you want to do, then?»
I
could barely whisper.
«I’m sure you already know it».
I did. I knew he was perfectly able to kill Keir. And I was scared.
He was not my Sam.
He took my hand and pushed me in a corner. He shut the door and I stood still. He looked at me. He then pushed me over the flour bags and lifted my skirt.
«Sam, stop it».
He was on top of me. He opened his trousers.
«Sam! Stop it!»
He approached my face and whispered in my hear: «You are mine and no one else’s».
He kissed me as I tried to stop him.
I tried to speak to him.
«Sam, no. Not like this. Not in here. I married you! Remember? You have to respect me».
He kissed my forehead.
«I respect you, but you needed to know».
«Know what? That you can be mean?»
«That I’do anything for you. Anything».
«So scaring me looked like a good idea to you?»
«Not good, but it worked».
«That’s ridiculous. I can’t write to him, I don’t have his address! What shall I do, talk to his family?»
«You could try to write to the army. Do something!»
We both took a deep breath. He helped me stand up.
«The kids must have woken up, let’s go».
«Why did you want to be alone?», I asked as we got out of the stable.
«I needed to think».
«About what?»
«I needed to calm down and see what I was really ready to do for you».
«You failed to do the first. So what are you ready to do?»
«Do you really want to know?»
I didn’t. I remained silent.
«Right», he said.
«Sam, do you really think that I neglect you?»
He didn’t answer.
«I love you, but you must understand me. Be kind to me».
I hugged me.
«I’m sorry if I scared you. Yes, sometimes I do feel you neglect me. But we have two kids, then... I’m sorry».
He caressed my hair.
«Don’t act like that twice».
«I won’t», he smiled.
He had overreacted, but I loved him. How could I live without him? On the day after, I wrote a letter to Keir.
Prince Edward Island, June the 10th, 1895
Dear Keir,
I am writing to you to tell you that your feelings for me are not appreciated. I don’t love you and I would like it if you stopped writing to me.
I don’t want you to put yourself in danger and I am sorry for you. I just hope you find a good girl who loves you with whom you might have a family. Because I already have mine.
We are not secret lovers, we never were. I love my husband and I have two kids.
I made my choice and I am happy about iy. I won’t leave my family. So, please, don’t keep on acting like that.
All the best,
Claire Campbell
«Yeah, I like that», said Sam. «Sounds effective».
«Would that be effective on you?»
«No, but I truly love you».
«All right. Let’s just hope it works on him».
I smiled at him. And he took the letter. He went to send it at once.
The days flew by. It was sunny and hot. Spring had blossomed in and the grass was incredibly green. Fruit was delicious. I loved the flowers and the sight of our garden.
Moon was back.
She had brought a bunch of friends with her and they spent their days fishing.
It was the end of June, when we heard the news.
Rhona had got a message that was to be delivered at once. It was from her husband. I read it and shouted: «Sam! Sam!». He came to me, followed by Eddy.
«What’s up, my dear?»
I was so happy I couldn’t stop jumping and smiling.
«Renny and Robert are coming!»
He looked at me.
«But... is it safe? It’s great news, but...»
I had not realised that, but I was sure Renny had been careful enough not to let Alex find out anything.
«It’s a business trip. Officially, I mean. Mr Price is retiring, so Renny needs to go over the papers and settle things down... Sounds convincing, right?»
He thought about that for a while.
«So why is Robert here?»
«They are travelling on a cargo. Robert always comes with Renny, when they do. And you’ll get the chance to meet them!»
«Will we have to tell them we’re married?»
«I don’t think Renny will be shocked. And he already might have thought of that».
Sam seemed more relaxed.
«So... let’s get ready! Rhona will help us».
We headed home.
«What about Edward? Will we tell them...»
«If they ask, yes. But they won’t care».
«Nobody will take my son from me».
I caressed his cheek. «Nobody will want to».
We got in. Rhona was making dinner. She was with Peigi and Logan. They were talking about their kids and they didn’t notice us getting in.
«Good afternoon, ladies», said Sam.
They all jumped.
«Good afternoon, Laird», they replied.
«We have good news...», Sam said.
They all looked at my belly.
«No, not yet. We are waiting for two guests... they are very important to us. My brother in law, Claire’s brother, and a very good friend of ours».
They stared at us. Guests from England. It must have been a shock to them.
When we were left alone, Sam asked me: «Would you want a third child?»
«Only if it’s a girl».
He was happy.
«We must exercise...»
«We must».
Scottish loved big families. They all had three or four children. Their society relied on clans, which actually meant «children».
Sam was an only child, but he still wanted a big family. He loved children and I loved them too.
«Why don’t we send Rhona home?»
He was willing to make love.
«She is going home. But we should feed the kids and put them to bed».
He shook his head.
«Right».
When we were finally alone, we made love passionately. It was beyond our bodies. It was something more, than couldn’t be helped. We were both overcome by feelings and love. We were one body and one soul. It was an endless circle of energy that knew no ending. We were sweating and panting, but we very happy. We made love again and again.
Marcus woke up and so did Edward, so we stood up and our plans came to an end, after all.
When we woke up, we were hugging.
«I’ll take care of Eddy», Sam said.
I stood up, even if I was sleepy.
«I’ll breastfeed Marcus and go back to bed».
When we went back to bed, Sam took me in his arms and put me on top of him. He caressed my back and my hair.
«Sleep tight», he said.
CHAPTER 19
MELTING POT
It was mid-July, when Renny and Robert came to Nova Scotia. I was in the garden with Moon and we were playing with the kids. I was running and laughing like a child myself. Moon was watering our plants and Sam was teaching Edward how to ride.
The child was on his pony and he was looking at Sam with his big eyes. He seemed to be happy.
I looked at the hills and saw two horses approaching. My heart stopped at once.
I had to admit to myself, that I had been very worried about them. I still was, at least partly, because they had gotten into our «secret land», and it was a risk, of course. They were charming. One of them was dark-haired and blue-eyed, the other one was blond and had green eyes. They were elegantly dressed. They had not changed a bit.
I run to them, and so they did. Everyone was straing at us. Renny got off his horse and run to me. I hugged
him, while he kissed my hair.
«Oh, I missed you, Claire», he whispered. I was crying.
«Sam, it is so nice meeting you again».
«The pleasure’s all mine».
«And who’s this little boy?»
«Your nephew, Edward. You’ll meet Marcus soon. He’s sleeping and he is our second born». Renny jumped. I was still his little sister and he didn’t expect such a double surprise.
«Where’s Robert?»
He was stading a few metres from us.
«Here I am».
I hugged him.
We headed home and I hugged Renny. Sam was making friends with Robert: they were talking about the journey to get to Nova Scotia.
«This is a paradise, Claire. I can’t wait to tell dad».
«I can’t wait to meet him. Will he come soon? Is he well?»
«He is well, yes. He wants to retire and leave everything to me. I don’t know if I can manage our business on my own, though».
Our dad was a good business man. He was good at decision making and at negotiating. But my brother was good too.
«Of course you can, you silly one», I said.
«If he retires, he ‘ll come visit very soon».
«I can’t wait».
I approached Moon and said Renny: «This is Moon, my best friend».
Renny looked surprised. He had never met a Mi’kmaw in his life. He greeted her.
I looked at him and smiled.
«You don’t need to be formal, with her», I said.
«But she’s a lady, I mean...»
Sam came to us. «My dear fellow, you’ll get used to that. We’re not in London, here».
Renny smiled and Robert introduced himself to Moon. We had Renny and Robert meet Rhona, who was clearly stuck at my brother’s resemblance with me.
«I’m so happy to meet you, Sir. Your sister was so excited at the very thought of your arrival».
«And this is Robert, Rhona».
She looked at him. He belonged to the upper-class, that showed.
We introduced everyone, but Marcus woke up so I had to go feed him.
When I was back, I found them in the living room. They were drinking cognac and laughing. Edward was with Sam. I was holding Marcus and Renny looked at him. He knew at once, I was sure of that, that Marcus and Eddy weren’t both Sam’s.
