ROCKED BY THE WAVES

by Alisa Grey

  «So, you’re drinking cognac!», I said.

  «Well, Renny brought it... for me», Sam said.

  «They’ll want to freshen up, let’s show them their rooms».

  «You’ve become quite a Scottish, Claire!», laughed Renny.

  «It’s Sam’s fault».

  Sam kissed me.

  «I’ll get changed and then I’ll play with my nephews», Renny said.

  I took them to their rooms. One of them was a double room with a kitchen, a living room and a bathroom. The other one was a single room, but it was not far from the other. The stable was just around the corner, in case they wanted to go for a ride on their own. I kissed Renny, then went to sit under the porch with Sam.

  «Happiness suits you».

  I hugged him.

  «Did you like them?»

  He kissed me. «Your brother looks like you. I bet he is good-hearted. Robert is very kind and well educated. I like them both and I think they make a great couple».

  «Just like us!»

  «Yes».

  «They are your age, you know? They have been together since they were eighteen. They met at a party and fell in love. They have known each other for a long time, though».

  «Just like us».

  Sam hugged me.

  «Claire, will you ask them about... him?»

  I took a deep breath and stood still. «Guess I’ll have to».

  «Do you still care about him?», he was trying to keep his cool. But he failed.

  I was stuck. «Do you think I’d be here, if I did?»

  I wanted him to be reassured, but I knew the task was hard. We had run away from Alex, but he was still my former husband. We were hiding and using fake names. We were always careful.

  «I don’t care how he is doing nor if he sleeps with half the girls in London. I have you and we both have our kids».

  «Suppose he finds you someday».

  I could see he was really preoccupied.

  «I’d tell him I want a divorce». It was not the answer he was expecting, I could tell that. He jumped and clearly focused on the thought of a divorce. It was something really hard to face.

  «I won’t let him have you, Claire».

  «I won’t let him have me, Sam. I feel like I could die, if I were to spend some time trapped in his house».

  «It won’t happen. I’ll take care of everything».

  It was a hot night, but Sam’s heart was as cold as ice.

  «Didn’t you promise me something?», I asked and looked at him. I wanted him to focus on something else and I knew just the thing...

  «I did. I would, actually. But we have guests», he replied.

  «Don’t you dare find an excuse!»

  He laughed.

  «We’ll talk about that later», I said as he kissed me. We were lost in our kiss, when we heard someone coughing.

  «So... only two kids? I’m surprised...», laughed Renny.

  «They won’t be two for long».

  «I had sort of a feeling, yeah. Oh, anyway, we love the rooms. Thank you».

  I was happy to see that Sam and Renny got on very well.

  «So... where are my nephews?», he said lowering and catching Edward’s attention.

  «I’m uncle Renny, and this is uncle Robert».

  Eddy looked at Sam.

  «Yes, Eddy. Renny and Robert».

  Eddy caressed Renny’s face.

  «Enny!», he cried as he laughed. Sam was very proud of his son.

  «Very good, Eddy. And this is...»

  «Obe!»

  We all laughed. We didn’t want him to be shy with his uncles. He started chattering, something as «gggh», «cooo».

  Edward loved having all the attention for himself. When we went inside to have dinner, Edward was with Robert, who seemed to be particularly keen on him. He played with Renny a good deal and never stopped throughout the whole night.

  The days flew by. Renny and Robert would stay for a month and we had many things to show them.

  The farm kept us all very busy and the island was the perfect place to enjoy nature and peace. We took them to the beach, to the village, to the lake and in the woods.

  We had them meet Moon’s friends.

  Their culture was very different from ours. Women were incredibly important in their society. They were the keepers of life. Men were supposed to protect women and support them; it was not shameful, to have children with several men. Women could choose the man they liked and marry him. They stayed together until they didn’t get on anymore. It was a different kind of marriage. I was getting used to that and thought that it was much wiser than ours.

  I was aware of the fact that I had a deep link with Alex. I had a son, his son. I was reminded of that almost everyday. I thought of Alex less and less but still, I thought of him from time to time. We had been married for a short time but meeting Renny and Robert again had reminded me of my old life. I was a different Claire now, but I lived in a world of lies: a fake name, two husbands... I was happy, though. I had designed the life I loved. We just needed to be careful.

  I wanted to ask Renny a few questions, actually. I got the chance to ask them to Robert, in the end. Renny and Sam were out, so I was home with Robert. Rhona was dealing with the kitchen and I was taking care of the kids. I would need to check on the mill in the afternoon and then I would meet Moon.

  It was breakfast time, so I was still planning my day.

  When I saw Robert approaching, I was stuck.

  «Good morning, Claire!»

  «Good morning, Robert!»

  He was holding some drawings.

  «I want to show you something, Claire».

  He was a very talented architect. I was sure he would show me something interesting.

  «You know, I like this place a lot. But I have some ideas that might improve it... it’s for the kids, you know. See... what about this?»

  He showed me a few ideas.

  «I just love them! I love them», I smiled.

  Then I took a deep breath and asked him: «May I ask you something?»

  He shook his head.

  «What happened, when I left?»

  He turned pale. He seemed to think about it carefully.

  «Why are you asking me?»

  «I trust you and I know you won’t hide anything from me».

  He took a deep breath and seemed to think about it.

  «He went crazy for six months. He used to go to visit your father twice or three times a day. They had several fights, because he kept telling Renny and your father that they were hiding the truth from him. Now they don’t see each other anymore, but I know he is still looking for you and keeping an eye on both Renny and your father. Just don’t worry, Claire. We have been very careful. He is not a fool, though. He has friends and he will find out, even here. Just make sure you’ll be ready when this happens».

  I was pale.

  «I talked about this with Renny and he doesn’t like Alexander, not a bit. But he loves Sam. Now you have your own family and you must protect it...»

  My heart was beating fast. I was scared. Eddy came to me and I jumped as I heard him throwing a toy on the floor.

  «Here, Claire. Drink some water. Are you okay?»

  «Hasn’t he got a new girlfriend?», I whispered.

  «You mean someone who lasts more than a week? No. Furthermore, he wants you. You, Claire».

  I had always known that, but I had kind of hoped time had changed things.

  What shall I do? Shall I talk to Sam? I should, yes.

  I waited for us to be on our own after dinner. He was in bed and I was tiding up the room. The kids were sleepng. Sam was looking at me and I took a deep breath. He knew something was wrong. I sat on the bed.

  «I spoke with Robert today. I asked him...»

  I was very tense.

  «I am terrified, Sam. I had hoped he would get over this, but he didn’t».

  I started crying. Sam seemed calm and loving. He hugged m
e.

  «I will take care of that, Claire. Just don’t worry. I will, I promise».

  Why was he so calm?

  «How can you be like this? So calm...»

  «I already knew. I had asked Renny and Robert».

  I was stuck.

  «But...»

  «We talked about that. And I have to say I don’t like this...»

  «This?»

  «I’m still jealous, Claire».

  «I hope you’re joking...»

  «I am not. But now first we need to take care of the kids. And of you».

  I hugged him.

  «I love you, Sam».

  «What if he came here? Would you came back to him?»

  «Never».

  «Suppose he wants to take Edward with him».

  «You won’t allow that».

  He kissed my neck.

  «Sam, I have something for you... a surprise!»

  He looked at me.

  «I’ve had this for a week».

  «Claire...», he laughed. Then he suddenly understand.

  I was pregnant.

  We kissed and hugged until Marcus woke up. When we fell asleep, we hugged.

  On the morning after, we announced everyone the news and they all seemed very pleased with that.

  I was happy and loved.

  When Renny and Robert went for a walk, Sam and I were left on our own.

  «I love you more and more», he said.

  When we heard of the accident, we were shocked. It was Rhona who told us. She came to me and I could see she was upset.

  «Madame, Sharlott Muir, the youngest daughter of Ian Muir! She was supposed to marry Donald Scott, a young and talented architect. They were supposed to go to Europe...»

  She paused and took a deep breath.

  «In the past year, the girl had got few letters. Love letters from someone she didn’t know. They were very explicit... she didn’t tell his fiancé, but he found out and broke off the engagement. She swore she hadn’t done anything wrong... but he didn’t change his mind. Well, she has... she has committed suicide. Over the cliffs...»

  Sam and I looked at each other. Elizabeth Gray.

  «Was the girl a nice good-looking one? Was she dark-haired and blue-eyed?» Sam asked.

  «Yes! Did you know her?»

  «No but we... heard of her», he said.

  «She was kind and beautiful...»

  That had the name of Elizabeth Gray written all over it.

  «What a bitch! This Elizabeth...», said Renny.

  «She was making us fight, Renny... she was tricking Claire and me as well».

  «Thank God you trust each other».

  CHAPTER 20

  THE CEILIDHS

  In spite of that, our day went on as busy as usual. When it was dinnertime, we sat at the table and spoke about everyday topics.

  I didn’t want Renny and Robert to leave, but the date of their departure was approaching. I had something in mind, though, so I waited for the right moment and then said: «Mi’kmaqs used to call this island Epekwitk, which means rocked by the waves».

  They all stared at me.

  «We should go on a trip. Together. This is a wonderful island and I think you’ll all be under its spell afterwards... Moon told me where we should go and I would love to take you all there».

  We left two days later. We went North and headed to Prince Edward National Park. We wanted to visit Cabot Beach as well.

  Life was steady and peaceful there. The villages were small and the sea was very relaxing. People sat on the sand and looked at their children playing. A wide range of birds tweeted over our heads. There was music, so few people were dancing. We stopped in many villages and slept in some lighthouses. We used to have our meals on the sand. At dinnertime, we ate as we watched the sundown. The sight was amazing and I loved the shades. They shifted from orange to silver. It was a perfect balance between peace and freedom.

  We all enjoyed the trip. We all fell for the places we visited.

  I didn’t know that by then, of course, but Renny and Robert would be back every year and spend some time with us. I was sad about their departure.

  Moon and I decided to arrange a new garden. Plants could be useful for so many things and we had so many fields around the house. Moon said some of the herbs were so precious that the people who tried to take them were condemned to death in her clan.

  Herbal knowledge was an ancient science. Women were the keepers of those secrets and they were able to cure illnesses. They could take care of the plants and they knew how to use them, once they had grown enough. We asked Robert to help us build a very small shack to keep the herbs that needed to dry. We wanted to make oils, teas and medecines.

  We had our own laboratory and we boiled the flowers. We kept the liniments in jars and we were sure we would be able to face wintry colds and fevers much better than before.

  1900 was approaching and fashion was constantly changing. People were happier. Women dressed in a much simpler way and feminism was in the air. Young women still wanted to be beautiful, but they also wanted to feel comfortable in their clothes.

  Even in Nova Scotia the atmosphere was changing. It was because of that, that Moon and I decided to sell our products. We could become Businesswomen. Moon’s cousin was supposed to help us: she would travel all over the country and sell the products. We both knew, Moon and I, that our business was less more than a hobby, but it was great fun. Furthermore, our products were good and useful.

  CHAPTER 21

  AS THE INK FADES AWAY

  Prince Edward Island, May 1903

  Sam and I had been living in Nova Scotia for ten years. The island was as charming as usual and the sand was so golden that you couldn’t help, but fall in love with every inch of it. It was warm, 22 degrees.

  I was twentyeight and we had four children: Edward was nine, Marcus was eight, Jasmine was seven and Jodie was five.

  Sam was thirtyone and he was still beautiful. He was the only one for me. We had worked hard and he was less jealous by then. We had found sort of a peace. He knew that I truly loved him. Alex was just a memory that I had left in the foggy London.

  Renny and Robert used to come and visit us. They stayed throughout the month of July and we always had fun together.

  Robert had helped us make many improvements on our house. The rooms were warmer, thanks to few stoves we had bought. The dépendance had a brand new veranda, which was really charming. Robert used to sit there and look at the river.

  We had built a new rooom and a small studio, which were destined to my dad. He had retired and he had moved to Halifax. It was eight years now. He was still friends with John Price and they both came to visit us very often.

  Renny was a great businessman and he had a new associate. It was all very fine.

  Moon was my best friend and she had three kids. She lived with her family and few relatives in a big house.

  We had picked a teacher for our children, Andrea De Luca. He was Italian. Sam had picked him because he had a background in psychology, antropology and sociology. He was a short and thin man, who always carried his bag with him. He wore glasses. «The child who educates himself, while the adult gives him the necessary help», he used to say, «a good teacher must accompany the interests, enhance the skills of the child, encourage diversification of its activities and to collaborate with its research choices». That sounded good.

  He came to our house twice a week and he always brought much stuff with him.

  Keir had been writing to me throughout the years. He considered me as a good friend. I knew he was still in love with me, but Sam was fine with our being friends.

  He was still in India, where he had been promoted. He was a lieutenant and he had married a lovely girl. They had a son. I hadn’t received any news from him in more than one year. Maybe he was happy, after all.

  It was the end of May. I went for a walk. The kids were sleeping, Rhona was home and Sam was working in the garden. I came
to him and saw that he was repairing a door for the dépendance. We were both impatient to meet Robert and Renny.

  The three of them had become really good friends and they loved each other dearly.

  Sam was so busy working that he didn’t notice me. I hugged him and he jumped.

  He turned to kiss me.

  «Are you going for a walk?», he asked.

  «Yes. I’ll go look for a few herbs I may need».

  We hugged for a while.

  «The kids are sleeping, but I’ll be back before they wake up».

  Sam didn’t really approuve of me walking alone in the woods, especially if Moon and the Mi’kmaq were out of town for a few days. But I felt safe.

  «I’ll come look for you in one hour», he said.

  «One hour? That’s not fair!»

  «Come on, Claire».

  I took my basket and hugged him once again. I wanted to seduce him and persuade him that I would be okay.

  «Claire...», he whispered.

  «Mmh?»

  «Okay, one hour and a half».

  I smiled and kissed him, then left him. When I was few metres away, I turned to him. He was still looking at me. I smiled and went to the woods.

  It smelt so good. I kneeled to see the flowers. Someone came to me, but I didn’t notice. When I lowered my head and saw someone was there, I jumped.

  I looked at the man. He was tanned and green-eyed. He was very tall and he was smiling. He helped me stand up.

  «Keir! You scared me!»

  He was taller than Sam.

  «You didn’t change. Not a bit. So pretty and tall...»

  He looked at my breasts. Two buttons of my shirt had slipped. I turned red.

  «I have four kids now, you know», I said.

  «You still are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met».

  «What about your wife?»

  «She died one year ago. But my son is fine».

  I was stuck.

  «She was ill. I am very sad that she died, but I didn’t love her. I married her because she was pregnant. I still love you».