Glock Grannies Cozy Mystery Boxed Set: Books 1 - 3

by Shannon VanBergen

  Anger rose through my body. “She didn’t burn anything!” I yelled.

  Joe jumped up from the table just as I did. “I didn’t mean anything by that, Nikki. I think she’s innocent just like you do.” He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m just telling you what I know. I don’t believe that she did it. She’s too smart for that. Besides, isn’t she loaded?”

  I sat back down and grabbed a donut from the box. “I think she is, but I’m not sure.”

  Joe grabbed his chair and brought it closer to my mine. Our knees were touching under the table. “She used to be some kind of celebrity, didn’t she?”

  “Yeah, not so much here in the U.S. but she did a lot of things in Europe—acting, dancing, and some commercials.” I picked at the sprinkles on my donut. “I don’t know how much of that money she has left, though.” I sighed and pushed the donut away. “I have to go.” I got up.

  “I’m sorry if I upset you, Nikki,” Joe said, standing up with me. “I know this has to be hard on you…and Geraldine.”

  I looked into his dark brown eyes. He was clearly exhausted and yet he had taken the time to talk to me this morning. “Thank you for letting me come over so early.”

  “You can come by anytime you want…especially if you bring donuts.” He smiled and it made my heart do a little leap.

  I looked up at him, not quite ready to go, and yet I felt like I needed to be alone to think for a minute. He reached over and gently grabbed my arm. “If you need to talk, I’m here.”

  He was just inches away from me and I could feel his breath on my skin. He looked into my eyes and I felt like a magnetic force was slowly pulling us together. My heart pounded in my chest and I was sure it was loud enough for him to hear in the perfectly silent kitchen.

  A commotion at the door made us both jump. I spun around to see a man with the same nose and eyes as Joe. I knew immediately it had to be his brother. Even though they looked a lot alike, his brother had more of a boyish look to him. He had hold of a dog leash with a very large dog on one end. The dog plopped down, panting.

  “This is my brother, Alex. Alex, this is Nikki.”

  “Hey, Nikki!” he said, his smile big enough that I could see every tooth.

  “Joe, I need you to watch the dog for a sec. Hottie Neighbor is outside and I want to say hi!”

  “Why can’t you take the dog?” Joe asked.

  “Because he smells bad!” He looked down at the dog. “And he’s kinda ugly.”

  Alex dropped the leash and ran outside. Joe turned to get the poor dog a dish of water.

  “I don’t think he’s ugly,” I said, bending down to get a better look at him. Then again, maybe he was. And Alex was right. The dog smelled terrible. I looked up at Joe. “What’s his name?”

  He stammered for a minute then blurted out, “Spot.”

  I looked back at the dog. He didn’t look like a Spot. He was a solid dark gray—not a single spot in sight.

  “Come here, Spot,” I said, taking the dish from Joe and putting it in front of me. “Do you want a drink?”

  Spot looked at me but didn’t move. “Spot, come here,” I said again, this time patting my legs and inviting him to come closer to me. He didn’t budge.

  “He’s not very friendly,” Joe said, giving me a hand up.

  I looked back at the dog. He seemed friendly when Alex brought him in. I always thought of myself as a dog person. Dogs always liked me. Maybe he was getting a weird vibe from me since I spent all day around cats now.

  I turned back around and saw that Joe was standing right behind me with the box of donuts. “Thanks for coming by,” he said as he herded me toward the door. His sudden change in demeanor caught me by surprise. I felt like he was trying to get rid of me. Maybe it was that neighbor. Maybe Joe had a thing for her too. I sighed and waved off the donuts. I certainly didn’t need anymore. “No,” I said, standing in the middle of his living room. “You can keep them.”

  Just then Alex burst through the door again. That guy did not know how to make a quiet entry.

  “Dude! I think I’m wearing her down! I asked her to go bowling with me and she said she didn’t like bowling!”

  Joe and I looked at each other, not understanding the excitement in his voice when clearly this was not good news for him.

  Alex looked at us like we were idiots. “Hello!” he yelled. “She didn’t come right out and say no this time!”

  “Ohhh,” we said in unison.

  “Well, that’s great!” Joe said, clapping him on the back. “It won’t be long now and the two of you will be sending out the wedding invites.”

  Alex smiled proudly and puffed out his chest. “You’ll be my best man, right?” he asked Joe.

  “Of course I will, buddy.”

  The brothers were so cute together. There was something very simple and childlike about Alex. His excitement for life was contagious. I could tell he was the kind of guy that made everyone laugh and feel welcome. I liked him immediately. Then again, I liked most guys immediately—hence the six ex-husbands.

  Alex looked past us. “You didn’t take the leash off the dog?”

  “I tried to get Spot to come to me so I could take it off, but he wouldn’t.” I couldn’t help but see Joe cringe when I spoke.

  Alex laughed. “Spot? Well, that’s the problem. He only answers to his name.”

  I shot a confused look to Joe, who tried to quickly push me to the door. I stood firm in my place and looked around him. “What’s his name then?” I asked Alex.

  Alex bent down and called the dog. “Come here, Arson, let’s get that leash off of you.”

  I looked at Joe. “Arson? Seriously? Your dog’s name is Arson?”

  Joe started to say something, but Alex interrupted. “Yep, that’s his name. Arson, the ugliest, smelliest dog on the block.” He looked at me with his childlike smile. “Of course that’s his formal name. We just call him Arson for short.”

  “Well, like I said,” Joe said, trying again to push me to the door. “I’m glad you stopped by.”

  I gave him a look that let him know he seriously better stop pushing me. He sighed and stepped aside in a show of surrender.

  “Alex, why is your dog named Arson?” I asked suspiciously. I knew better than to direct the question to Joe. I was sure he wouldn’t give me a straight answer. Alex, on the other hand—I didn’t think he would lie about anything.

  “Oh, he’s not our dog. He’s our cousin Eddie’s. We’re just watching him until he gets out of prison.”

  My eyebrows shot up and I looked at Joe. “Why is he in prison?”

  “He may have set a house or two on fire.” Joe spoke so quietly I could barely hear him.

  Alex’s laughter filled the room. “May have? Ha! He was a volunteer for his local fire department. On days when things were slow, he’d go out and start fires just so him and his fire buddies would have something to do!”

  I gasped. “That’s horrible. Were the other guys in on it too?”

  “Nah,” Alex said, scratching Arson behind the ears. “They had no idea…at first. After a few months, they started to get suspicious. Eventually, they caught him.”

  “How many things did he set on fire?” I was almost afraid of the answer.

  “Fifteen, but only two were houses—both ex-girlfriends. He mostly set fire to barns and out buildings.”

  “Why did you lie to me?” I quietly asked Joe.

  “I saw the look you gave me on the day we first met when I told you I was a fireman and my brother owned a fire restoration business. You obviously thought that was weird. I wasn’t going to tell you I had a cousin in prison for arson. I didn’t want you to think we all worked together.”

  I scoffed at him. “I wouldn’t have thought that.” I totally would’ve thought that.

  Joe shrugged. “I would just hate for word to get out. He lived a few hours away and I hope the stories stay over there. I don’t want people in this town feeling like they can
’t trust me.”

  This must have been the secret Bev was talking about. Obviously, the stories of Cousin Eddie had crossed the county line. I didn’t have the heart to tell Joe.

  I looked back at the dog, who was now chewing on a giant dog toy. “Why would he name his dog Arson?” I asked, almost to myself.

  “We think it was a cry for help,” Alex said, standing up. “I’m going to take the other dog for a walk now. I don’t like walking them together. I get all tangled up in their leashes. Last week, I walked them together and everything was going fine until we got in front of Hottie Neighbor’s house.” He shook his head and let out a laugh. “Dumb dogs got all excited and somehow I got all wrapped in their leashes. They took off running and drug me about three blocks.” He pulled up his sleeve showing a big patch of flesh. “It took my skin right off.” He laughed again. “Crazy dogs.”

  He cupped his hands to his mouth and called out. “Blaze! Wanna go for a walk?”

  A yellow lab came bounding down the stairs, wagging his tale and doing circles around Alex.

  I rolled my eyes at Joe. “Blaze?”

  He shrugged his shoulders and repeated what his brother had just said. “Cry for help.”

  Joe walked me outside and we stood on his little front porch. I could see Hottie Neighbor next door in her super short shorts, bent over watering her dead flowers. She turned her head and smiled at Joe, giving him a little wink.

  Joe let out a little giggle and I gave him a dirty look. “You disgust me.”

  “What did I do?” he asked. “I’m just being friendly.”

  I started to walk down the steps and he grabbed my arm. “If I cared about Hottie Neighbor…” He stopped and corrected himself. “…my neighbor, would I do this?”

  He pulled me close and kissed me. At first, I couldn’t hear anything over the angels singing Hallelujah in my ear. But then I heard Hottie Neighbor’s door slam shut.

  When he gently pulled away, I was speechless.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t know what got into me.”

  Part of me wanted to grab him and knock him to the floor and really make Hottie Neighbor jealous, but part of me took a step back and looked at the whole situation. I was supposed to be in Florida to learn about myself, to stop making the same mistakes over and over again. I didn’t mean that Joe would be a mistake, but it wasn’t the right time to start something with him—no matter how tempting it was.

  “I just… I can’t do this right now.” I saw the look of disappointment on his face when I said it.

  “I understand. I’m so sorry,” he apologized again.

  I knew he didn’t actually understand. He didn’t know why I was there—why I had left everything and moved in with my grandma. For a brief moment, I thought about telling him, but no matter how much of a positive spin you try to put on being married six times and having a fiancé back home, you still come out looking like a lunatic. I would rather leave with him feeling embarrassed about my knowledge of cousin Eddie then my feeling embarrassed because he knew about my husbands…ex-husbands.

  I gave him a smile and punched him in the arm. “Let me know if you hear anything else about my grandma.”

  He nodded and I turned away, walking down the few steps to the sidewalk. I heard him go inside and close the door, but at the same time I felt like someone was watching me. I turned to see Hottie Neighbor looking at me through a window. I smiled and waved wildly. She gave me a dirty look and pulled her curtains together with enough force that the curtain rod fell down.

  It wasn’t every day that I made someone that looked like that jealous. I couldn’t help but puff up with a bit of pride. Donuts, a kiss from Joe, and I ticked off Hottie Neighbor—all before 10am. This was going to be a very good day.

  I climbed in Grandma’s car and suddenly remembered the news that Joe had given me. Grandma Dean looked guilty because she owed the city a ton of money. My heart sank. Could she really be guilty? Would she really have set her shop on fire to collect the insurance money to pay off her debt? I was going to have to figure out a way to talk to her about her finances and find out for myself if she was in financial trouble. Man, this day was going to suck.

  8

  When I walked through the door, I called out to Grandma but she didn’t answer. I hung the spare key on the hook and checked each room to make sure she wasn’t there. I was glad she wasn’t home yet. That gave me time to snoop around a little.

  I looked through the kitchen drawers and was surprised by what I saw. Several of the drawers were empty and the ones that did have something in them were neatly organized in little trays.

  I moved into the living room and rolled up the door on the small secretary desk. One drawer had a book of stamps, another had two black pens. I turned around and thought for a minute. I was tempted to take a peek in her room, but that felt wrong. Instead, I scanned the living room trying to think of someplace else to look.

  Two end tables flanked the couch and another small table sat between the two chairs in front of the large picture window. I opened the drawer on the small table first. Inside was a little black notebook. I nervously picked it up and turned to the first page. There was a name of a veterinarian from the All Animals Pet Clinic and a phone number. I turned to the next page and heaved a little. It was Kitty Purry’s poop schedule on August 19th, 2015. I turned the next page and it was more of the same. Yuck. I threw the notebook back in the drawer and closed it with a shudder.

  I walked across the living room and knelt down to open the end table door. Inside were stacks of photo albums. I took out the first one and was amazed by what I saw. The first page was a black and white headshot of Grandma Dean. She was beautiful with her shoulder-length hair curled slightly and her creamy looking skin. Her teeth were perfect and her lips were plump. Even though all that had changed over the years, one thing stayed the same—she still had that same sparkle in her eyes.

  I smiled as I flipped the page, revealing other headshots and some full-length photos. She was absolutely stunning.

  I was so caught up in the pictures that I didn’t hear Grandma Dean come in.

  “What are you doing going through my things?”

  I jumped, throwing the photo album back into the end table.

  Grandma laughed. “I’m just kidding. You can look at those.” She sat on the couch. “Grab those and hand them to me.”

  I reached in and grabbed the stack of albums. I handed her the first one and sat the rest on the coffee table before taking a seat next to her.

  “These,” she said as she pointed to the headshots, “were taken by Marvin Crenshaw. Anyone who was anyone wanted him to take their picture.”

  She smiled with pride as she turned the page. She pointed to a picture of her standing next to a piano in a swanky looking club. “This was the first time I ever sang in front of people.” She let out a little laugh, shaking her head slightly. “I went to Europe to be an actress but my agent said I should try singing. He booked me at this club to sing during the dinner hour.” She laughed again. “I had never sung in my life, not even in the shower! But I put on my prettiest dress and my agent paid someone to do my hair and makeup and I went up there on that stage and I sang my heart out!”

  “How did you do?” I asked, hanging on every word.

  “I did pretty well! And the more the crowd drank the better I sounded!” We both burst into laughter.

  “Did you sing much after that?”

  “Oh yes. I was booked every Saturday night. That was a turning point for my career. Before long, I was doing commercials for cigarettes and perfume. Then I went on to do a few movies. That, of course, was my favorite.” She paused and I could tell she was picturing the glamor of it all as she smiled to herself. “Being a celebrity was so different back then. It was all about glamor and sophistication. People were real classy. Today, it’s all about the attention, and celebrities will do just about anything to get it.” She shook her head in disgust. “It�
��s a real shame.”

  Grandma put the photo album on the floor and picked up another one from the coffee table.

  “Oh, this one is fun! This is when I did that soap opera. I barely spoke a word of French in the beginning and my accent was awful. But I had the right look, so they cast me as Sophia—the innocent girl next door who wasn’t so innocent.”

  She flipped through page after page of her and the cast being glamorous on set, then being glamorous off set. She looked perfect in every one. When I pointed that out, she laughed. “That,” she said with a chuckle, “is what happens when people have hair and makeup artists to make them up each day. See this guy right here?” She pointed to a man with sleeked back black hair and a perfect jaw line. “Isn’t he attractive?”

  I nodded.

  “You take off all the makeup and he’s seriously the ugliest man you’ve ever seen! Red blotchy face, an eye that sags a little… How they made him look like that, I’ll never know. It must be some kind of voodoo.”

  Grandma sat the album aside and grabbed a third one. Her bright smile softened and she grew quiet. “This one is when Glenn and I went to Paris.”

  She opened the album and ran her finger along the face of a man that I instantly recognized. Grandpa Glenn. She sighed and sat there, quietly staring at him.

  I remembered very little about Grandpa Glenn. When he and Grandma Dean came to visit, it was always a whirlwind. They would come in the afternoon, bringing expensive gifts that my sister and I didn’t know what to do with, then Grandma and Glenn would be gone by the time we went to bed that night.

  Grandma was always loud and laughed as she told stories. She always seemed like someone straight out of a movie—maybe because sometimes she was. I sat there trying to think of some of the stories she told, but I couldn’t think of anything. The only thing I remembered about them was my mother, gasping in horror and trying to cover our ears while shouting, “Mother, not in front of the kids!” She would then tell us it was bedtime and order us to our rooms. We’d pass Grandpa Glenn on the way out of the living room. He was always quiet and hung back, smoking his cigar. As we walked by him, he’d stick his hand out and give us a half-dollar. He’d wink and we’d smile back before heading upstairs to our rooms.