The Waiting Time

by Margaret Carr

  ‘To have been in such charming company was worth every dollar,’ he said.

  Jenny hesitated as she was about to step out of the car. She felt guilty for he had paid an enormous amount of money for the privilege of taking her out and she guessed he was feeling short-changed. Quickly she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

  ‘May I see you again?’ he called after her as she stood on the street.

  ‘Well, I don’t usually . . .’

  ‘I’ll call you.’

  Several days passed after her date with Kane. He rang twice asking her out, but she refused each time, making up a different excuse. Now, out of the blue, Margaret had rung to invite her and Helen over for brunch, squealing over the phone that she had no idea that Jenny and Ryder had once been married. How had she found out, Jenny wondered. Had Ryder told her? If so why, when he had kept quiet about their marriage all this time? Reluctantly she had promised to go, but she would be on her guard for she no longer trusted the other woman if in fact she ever had.

  * * *

  They arrived in brilliant sunshine at the hottest time of the day. Jenny was already damp and uncomfortable as they were shown to parasol-shaded tables on the back deck. There were some half a dozen people seated at the tables and several children seated on the floor of the lounge watching television.

  Helen went straight off to join the children while Margaret came across to welcome Jenny. She was seated at the table and introduced to the company there and offered a salad and a glass of something to drink.

  ‘You are a sly thing keeping your marriage a secret, you know. We all thought, well, you know.’

  She shrugged her shoulders and cast a quick glance around her friends’ faces.

  ‘Ryder explained that you had been separated but were now back together again,’ she said and smiled benignly.

  Jenny smiled back and proceeded to eat her salad, offering no explanation.

  ‘I suppose one apartment was too small for the three of you. Ryder did mention that he needed the extra space to work in. Of course when there is a child in the house the husbands always need somewhere for peace and quiet.’

  Jenny took a gulp at the drink in the tall glass. She hadn’t a clue what it was but it was refreshing. Helen appeared just then, in tears. She had fallen out with Anna and the little boy next to her had punched her. She cuddled into Jenny’s skirt.

  ‘Of course, her likeness to Ryder was obvious to me right from the start,’ Margaret informed her guests.

  Jenny clenched her teeth and smiled, while trying surreptitiously to stop Helen from chewing the bottom of her tunic. It was a nervous habit she had developed as soon as she could walk. She clung to Jenny’s leg. Jenny glanced questioningly at her daughter for it had been sometime since she had last indulged in this type of behaviour. She stopped eating and, picking the little girl up, sat her on her knee. But Helen only buried her face in Jenny’s bodice.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind, will Friday do?’

  Margaret was talking to her again and she had missed what was said.

  ‘Sorry?’ Jenny said, as she continued to try to settle Helen.

  ‘Shopping,’ Margaret repeated, casting a patient glance around her friends. ‘Would you be free on Friday to go shopping?’

  ‘Yes, yes, I’m sure that would be all right,’ Jenny replied, too distracted by Helen’s behaviour to worry about Margaret and a shopping trip.

  She made her excuses and left shortly afterwards. Her hostess was rather put out but smiled knowingly when Jenny explained that she was worried about Helen.

  ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘I’ll give you a ring later to check how she is.’

  Once home Jenny sat Helen on a chair and, kneeling beside her, stroked the dark hair back from a hot forehead.

  ‘Are you going to tell me what’s wrong. Do you feel ill?’

  Helen shook her head.

  ‘Did the little boy hurt you when he punched you?’

  Another shake of the head.

  ‘Did Anna upset you?’

  This time the little head nodded up and down and tears trembled on her lashes. Jenny’s brow creased into a frown.

  ‘What did she say?’

  Helen’s lips quivered, her head dropped and she spoke so softly that at first Jenny couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

  ‘Anna said my daddy didn’t want me ’cos I was igitamate. What’s igitamate?’

  Jenny’s fury rose in her throat and she fought to conceal it as she hugged the little girl close.

  ‘It’s all lies. Don’t believe a word she says.’

  Helen hiccuped a couple of times then leaned back and gazed into Jenny’s face.

  ‘You told me Daddy was mine but that he didn’t believe you so we had to keep it secret.’

  Jenny stared into her daughter’s big, pansy eyes. Was this what the old saying meant when it said that your words could come back to haunt you? Jenny took the two podgy, little hands with their curled fingers and sucked thumb and carefully straightened them out and placed them together within her own.

  ‘Daddy loves you, Helen. He was away from us a long time. You came along after he left and he didn’t know about you. Mummy and Daddy had fallen out, you see. So when he came back . . . ’

  ‘ ’Cos I found him.’

  ‘Because you found him. He didn’t know where you had come from or whose little girl you were. So we have to wait until he remembers.’

  ‘Hasn’t he remembered yet?’ she asked gently.

  ‘Not yet, sweetheart, but he will soon. He is your real daddy and you can tell Anna I said so.’

  Long after Helen had gone to bed, Jenny waited for the sound of Ryder’s return, determined to tell him the truth once and for all. If he didn’t believe her then it was his loss.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  It was two o’clock in the morning before Jenny remembered that Ryder was in New York for the next three nights. She had only just fallen asleep when the telephone rang. Barely awake, she picked up the receiver and mumbled her name.

  ‘Hello, may I speak to a Mrs Ryder Surtees, please?’

  Jenny was wide awake now and struggling in bed to ask, ‘Who wants her?’

  ‘This is Danbury Hospital and I’ve been given this contact number for a next of kin.’

  Jenny’s heart thudded.

  ‘That’s all right, I’m Mrs Surtees. Carson’s my maiden name.’

  ‘Mrs Ryder Surtees?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’m afraid your husband’s been injured in a traffic accident. His injuries are superficial as far as we can tell but he has yet to regain consciousness.’

  ‘I’ll be there as soon as I can,’ Jenny replied immediately.

  ‘He’s being assessed now. The doctor will be available to explain the situation to you when you arrive.’

  Jenny was silent for several seconds as she tried to assimilate what the nurse was saying. Then she thanked her and replaced the phone. Her panic was already subsiding and her mind clearing. One thing at a time, she scolded herself. But her heart was racing. How ill was Ryder? Could she find this hospital on her own? What did she do with Helen?

  Getting to the hospital was her first priority. No, she checked herself, first get washed and dressed, then wrap up Helen and get her into the car. With Helen settled comfortably on the back seat, Jenny climbed into the driving seat and turned the key in the ignition. There was a horrible whining sound, then a splutter and nothing. She turned off the key, sat back, and took a deep breath and tried again. Same thing happened.

  Conscious of her sleeping neighbours and anger at the engine for failing her in this hour of need, she tried coaxing the engine with a gentler touch. The noise was louder than ever and had Helen awake and hanging over the back of the passenger seat wanting to know what they were doing in the dark.

  Thoroughly fed-up and afraid of what was happening at the hospital, Jenny climbed back out of the car and with Helen held close, went back into the house. She p
laced Helen on the settee then picked up the phone and rang Margaret Mitchells’ number. It was the middle of the night and Margaret wouldn’t be happy at being disturbed, but what else could she do?

  She was right, as she listened to the other woman grumbling on the end of the line. But once Jenny explained what had happened there was a short screech then a garbled, ‘We’ll be with you shortly,’ and the phone went dead.

  It was Dan who arrived with the offer of a lift to the hospital while Margaret was to stay and keep an eye on Helen who had been put back to bed but was still awake. Their offer of help was generous and genuine and Margaret’s spontaneous behaviour showed a new side to the woman who constantly irritated Jenny.

  Dan quizzed her on the way to the hospital.

  ‘Did they say how bad it was?’

  ‘No, the nurse I spoke to said the doctor will tell us when we get there. I don’t understand what he was doing on his way back so soon. He was supposed to be staying in New York until Friday.’

  She could hear the worry in Dan’s voice as he told her that Ryder had rung the office to say that he had finished the interviews sooner than expected and was on his way home. She didn’t fail to notice that Ryder hadn’t deemed it necessary to ring her with the news of his early return.

  The hospital visit lasted only a short while, but the sight of Ryder suddenly so vulnerable in his stillness had shocked both of them. The doctor had spoken to them for several minutes explaining that until he regained consciousness, it was impossible to say what damage he had sustained.

  ‘Once he does and we have assessed that there is no damage, then he will be fine. In the meantime all we can do is wait.’

  On their return journey, Jenny glanced across at Dan’s profile in the light from the dashboard. His chin was rough and his hair looked to have been raked through with his fingers instead of combed. Altogether he gave the impression of a large, disreputable teddy bear just awakened from hibernation. His mouth had turned down and his nostrils flared for a second before he spoke.

  ‘Margaret said there had been a separation with you and Ryder. Must have been a long one. In five years, he never mentioned having a wife.’ The remark hurt Jenny.

  ‘He wanted to come to America, I didn’t, so we went our own ways,’ she explained.

  ‘Helen’s five, isn’t she? I’m amazed he didn’t want to stay for her sake. He loves children, can’t do enough for them. But you’re right, he’s always loved his job. Pity you didn’t come back then. He’s been a new man since you and Helen came over.’

  Jenny attempted to interrupt him but he shook his head.

  ‘It’s true he never stops talking about you both. It doesn’t take a psychologist to see that you’re what’s been missing in his life. And if that stricken look at the hospital was anything to go by, you love him, too, honey, so what’s the problem?’

  Jenny was feeling light-headed.

  ‘He won’t accept that Helen is his.’

  Putting the truth into words released a great dam of relief. Silent sobs wracked her body. Dan drew the car to the side of the deserted road and stopped then pulled her into his warm embrace. In time, she was still and he withdrew his hold. Dry-eyed, she stared out into the darkness and in a quiet voice told Dan what had happened since Helen had claimed Ryder as her daddy.

  ‘And you never told him the true facts?’

  Jenny shrugged.

  ‘He wouldn’t have believed me.’

  ‘You don’t know that, honey. He at least has the right to decide for himself. He’s going to be pretty mad when he finds out. You are going to tell him, aren’t you?’

  Jenny’s eyes swung slowly across to the reflection of her face in the windscreen. She’d made a silent promise to Ryder as she’d watched his unconscious face on the stiff white pillowcase and remembered his care of them. When he recovered she would tell him the truth, that Helen was his. What he did after that would be up to him.

  ‘Yes, I’m going to tell him,’ she said quietly.

  Four days later, unknown to anyone, Ryder dismissed himself from hospital. Jenny knew nothing about it. She had been visiting the hospital mornings and evenings, leaving Helen with Margaret’s nanny. Margaret had insisted on coming along with her the first time but as soon as Ryder regained consciousness, Margaret found a prior engagement.

  Jenny had just returned from dropping Helen off before her morning visit to the hospital when she head the thump from Ryder’s apartment. Quietly she crept upstairs and listened at the door. All was silent. Jenny cast a quick look around her. If either of the two neighbours on the opposite side of the stairs saw her, heaven knew what gossip they would spread around the estate.

  It was as she turned away that she heard the phone ring. Expecting it to continue unanswered she ignored it. When it stopped and she heard the low tone of someone answer it, she ran back up the stairs and knocked on the door. If the person inside was an intruder she wasn’t quite sure what she would do. On the other hand, she couldn’t imagine a burglar answering a telephone!

  There was a further silence and Jenny waited with baited breath for someone to open the door. She knocked again, harder than before. She heard the lock being disengaged and the door was flung open.

  ‘What has a person to do around here to get any peace?’

  Jenny stepped back, shocked.

  ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘I live here. What do you want?’ Ryder snapped, to Jenny’s dismay.

  ‘Why have you left the hospital? I was just going over there. They haven’t let you out. The doctor said it was too early.’

  ‘It was a hospital not a prison. I’m free to leave.’

  He was standing in the doorway, his hair tousled. A livid bruise was visible at the height of its discoloration, from brow to just below his right ear. He wore a white bath robe tied loosely at the waist, his feet were bare and in his hand he held a towel. He moved back into the hallway when it became obvious that she was not to be dismissed easily.

  ‘They don’t make a very good job of washing you in there and I couldn’t wait to get all the muck off.’

  ‘That’s because they concentrated on your wounds first. If you’d stayed long enough they would have bathed you thoroughly.’

  She went through into the bathroom without waiting for permission. There was dirty water in the handbasin and a limp towel hung over the bath. On the floor lay a pile of torn, dirty clothes spilling from a plastic carrier bag. She moved back into the living-room.

  ‘What were you trying to do in there?’

  He had eased himself down on to the arm of the nearest chair. With an impatient sigh he said, ‘I was side-swiped. The car rolled off the road and down an embankment. My head smashed the side window on the way down, then a tree stopped the roll and I ended up on the edge of a river, half in half out of the water. I must have been unconscious for some time. When I came to and tried to get out, a piece of metal nicked my leg. I got filthy dirty. They cleaned and wrapped up the leg, patched up the head, but I don’t feel I’ve been washed thoroughly. When you demanded entry just now, I was about to cover my leg dressing with a plastic sheet to keep it dry while I had a shower and washed my hair.’

  ‘I can do that for you,’ she offered, hoping to get the chance to say what she had been trying to tell him since his recovery.

  He jerked himself upright.

  ‘There’s no need. If you’ll just take yourself off I’m quite capable.’

  Jenny took a deep breath.

  ‘There’s something I have to tell you. I haven’t been able to with Margaret being with me when you woke up and now you discharging yourself so soon.’

  He was crossing to the bathroom and she followed in his wake, talking to his back.

  ‘Keep it until later,’ he said, closing the bathroom door in her face.

  Jenny let herself out and moved slowly down the stairs back to her own apartment. Her promise to him when she thought he was going to die stuck like a knot in her
throat.

  That evening Kane phoned to ask her to accompany him to a small business dinner. His secretary had been called home on a family emergency and it would look bad for him to turn up without a partner. He was very solicitous when hearing about Ryder’s accident and agreed it was a shame that he would be unable to sit with Helen. However, he had his own recommendation for that problem in the shape of a niece who was staying with him at the moment. Trapped, Jenny had no choice other than to be downright rude or agree and go with him.

  ‘The meal won’t take long,’ he said when they were driving to the restaurant where the meeting was to take place. ‘Then we can go on to a club or do whatever you’d like to do.’

  The niece he’d introduced as Diana was a tall, leggy seventeen-year-old who had arrived loaded down with study books. She’d seemed pleasant enough but Jenny wasn’t happy at leaving someone she didn’t know in charge of Helen.

  Her unease was still in the back of her mind as she said, ‘Thank you, but I would still prefer that we go straight home after the meal.’

  ‘I can’t let you do that. You’re doing me a great favour by sitting in for this meal. You must at least let me buy you a drink afterwards.’

  ‘Well, perhaps only one.’

  Jenny groaned inwardly while still managing to smile.

  The restaurant turned out to be a large, wooden building on the edge of the forest with a salon bar front and a steeply-sloping garden at the back. Tables and chairs were set out on the wide, beflowered deck overlooking the semi-wild garden with its fast-flowing river along the bottom. The company made up three couples. A large, heavy man with a drinker’s nose and his tiny wife whose eyes darted everywhere but at the person speaking to her; a couple in their thirties, both tall and slim, with a fashionable, healthy look; the third couple was middle-aged, clean and tidy but fashion had passed them by.