Shameless King

by Maya Hughes

  “I’m living. I’m studying. I’m going to get into med school, and I’ll be a doctor just like—” The word caught in my throat.

  “Just like Daniel wanted to be,” she finished as it felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs. “I can’t even know what it was like to go through what you did, but you can’t do everything for him. You have to do some things for you.”

  Her soft voice had tears building in my eyes before I could stop them. “I do.”

  “Not enough. I want to come up and visit sometime soon. They cut hours at my cleaning, so I should be able to find a day to come visit. Alyson has been having a lot more sleepovers with friends to get out of the house. I can’t blame her. Does me coming up in a couple weeks work you?”

  “Whenever you want to come, I’d love to see you. You can stay over at my place. It will be fun!” I wanted to squeeze her and be silly and relax.

  “I’ll let you know.”

  We ended our call, and I wandered aimlessly around campus for a while with everything on my back like a hermit crab. Finally, my shoulders screamed enough, and I parked myself in an out-of-the-way coffee shop on campus. It was busy but not packed like the others. Camping out at one of the tables, I tried to focus, but my mind kept drifting back to Declan.

  How do I fix this? How did I keep it from being an awkward clusterfuck of the rest of a semester? And how did I keep myself from wanting him so much it hurt? It was like in one night he’d woven himself in as a part of my DNA, and I didn’t know how to extract him, but I knew it would be painful, if it were even possible…

  19

  Declan

  “What do you mean, she left?”

  “I mean I woke up, and she was gone.” That gut punch still hadn’t worn off. Not only was she gone, but she refused to answer any of my messages—for nearly a week. It seemed always working ahead and a gap in our assignments worked out to her advantage. We didn’t have anything due until next week, but she’d crack. She had to talk to me.

  Heath laughed, crowing like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. I was so close to punching him, but knowing him, he’d think that made it even more hilarious.

  I couldn’t wait until he found someone who got under his skin so deep that his easygoing, everything-will-always-work-out mantra was really put to the test.

  I hated feeling like a needy chick waiting for the phone to ring, but damn it, I wanted that phone to ring and I wanted Mak on the other end.

  “Karma is a bitch, isn’t it? How many times have I had to escort your morning-after visitors out?”

  He gulped down his water. His hair was still soaked from his after-practice shower. I’d tried not to think about how this was what it must feel like when someone just ghosts you after sex. Not exactly a great feeling.

  “And the fact that she disappeared on you has nothing to do with the fact that we are here at the exact same time that her shift starts?”

  “This is the perfect time to get dinner.” I shrugged and stared at the front door. It had taken nearly a week, but I finally caved and came here. “It doesn’t have anything to do with her.”

  “And that’s why we’ve been holding off on ordering food when the server already came over twice and asked for it.”

  “I wasn’t hungry yet, but I know I’ll be hungry soon.” My stomach was shouting at me that it needed food now, but I’d hold off a little longer.

  “And that’s also why you gave her twenty bucks just to let us sit here.”

  I ripped my gaze from the front door to his smug, smirking face. He crossed his arms over his chest in self-satisfaction.

  “I see all, man. I see all.” He waved his hands around his head like he was some mystic seer. The door to the bar swung open, and my head whipped up. Heath laughed, smacking his hand on the table. I’d been hopeful it was her, but Preston and a few other guys from the team came in. I was about to go back to nursing my water when a streak of reddish-blonde caught my eye.

  There she was, right behind them. Mak came in looking a bit flustered. She caught my eye across the bar and stopped short. Someone barreled into her back and nearly knocked her over. I half stood in the booth my muscles tense, ready to go to her, when she caught herself and rushed back into the kitchen before I could take two steps.

  All the tables and booths were full, so Preston and the guys scooted into our booth.

  “You didn’t even order yet? Perfect.” Preston slid in beside me and grabbed the menu off the table. Mak came out of the kitchen, and I dropped my gaze to the table. No need to be a stalker. Well, any more of a stalker than I already was.

  She came over to the table, and everyone placed their orders.

  “You’re like our regular server now, Makenna.” Preston handed her his menu.

  “It seems that way, huh? I’ll have your drinks out in a bit.” She tapped her pen on her notepad, and her shoes squeaked as she spun away from our table. I was suddenly incredibly interested in the nicks and dents in the table in front of me.

  “Dec got ghosted by Makenna.” My head shot up, and I winged a spoon straight at Heath’s forehead.

  “You and Mak? Seriously, dude. Don’t fuck things up with her. I know I said before maybe it was a good idea, but maybe not.” The worried-older-brother look settled over Preston’s face.

  “It’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about; we’re cool.” I slid the container of sugar packets in front of me and took great interest in organizing and aligning them. It was best I wasn’t practicing with the whole team; they’d never let me live this down. Preston took a deep breath like it pained him and leaned in closer to me.

  “What happened? Did she shut you down?” I tilted my head to the side with the corners of my mouth drawn down.

  “Of course she didn’t shoot me down.”

  Heath and the other guys leaned in closer.

  “Two Cokes, two Sprites, and a ginger ale.” We all shot up straight as Mak stood at the end of the table putting down five napkins and sliding our drinks in front of us. Everyone did an embarrassingly terrible job of trying to look natural. “Right, I’ll leave you to your conversation.” She held the tray against her chest and walked off.

  “If she didn’t say no, what’s the problem?”

  “She ghosted him. Totally left her own apartment to get away from him the morning after.” Heath chuckled into his soda, and the guys stared at me wide-eyed before they burst into laughter like a bunch of women out on a bachelorette party.

  Table-slapping, napkins-wiping-away-tears kind of laughter. And I wanted to strangle each of them. The guys really wanted to make sure I felt like shit about the whole situation. Really drive it home. I took a deep breath so I didn’t climb over the table and wrap my fingers around Heath’s neck.

  Mak was back this time with a tray of burgers and fries balanced on her hip. She doled them out to the guys, who once again went stock silent the minute she appeared. She wasn’t deaf or blind, so she knew something was going on. The cordial look on her face, the same one she had for everyone else in the bar, made me want to crawl out of my skin. I wasn’t just some random person, and I wasn’t going to let her pretend what happened last week hadn’t happened.

  “So, what’s your plan?” One of the guys shoveled fries into his mouth.

  I ran my hands over my face and up through my hair.

  “No idea. I’m in new territory with her. Anyone have any bright ideas?” I glanced around the table, and everyone looked equally unsure. This was what I got for hanging out with guys who’d sworn off dating and girlfriends. Except for Preston, of course.

  “What about you? You have a girlfriend.”

  Preston shrugged. “We’ve been together since sophomore year of high school. Not like I have any experience with whatever the hell you have going on. What I’m more worried about right now is your class. How did the midterm go?”

  “It felt good. We worked hard on it. Turned it in early. Still waiting to hear back.”

  �
�Grades came out a few hours ago; at least that’s what Becca told me.” I kept forgetting Preston’s little sister was at our school now. She wasn’t in my class, but she would be in a Sophomore Seminar just like me. I froze, and everything around me got quiet. This grade could make or break me.

  Snapping out of it, I whipped my phone out of my pocket. Logging in to the online course system, my eyes got wide as the notification icon blinked on my screen. A new grade had been added.

  I tapped on the class and held my breath as I waited for the screen to load. My heart nearly leaped out of my chest as the image appeared what felt like one pixel at a time, and there it was. Our grade for the midterm: 98!

  Running a quick calculation of the assignments we’d done so far and the fact that the midterm was worth 35 percent of the final grade, it meant there was no way for me to fail the class. Even if we bombed the final, I’d still come out with a B-. Not that I’d do that, but fuck yeah!

  I scanned the bar looking for Mak. She hadn’t said anything, which meant she didn’t know. There was no way she wouldn’t be freaking out about this. Pushing against Preston, I tried to slide out of the booth.

  “Dude, move. I need to get out.”

  “Calm down!” Preston shoveled a few more fries into his mouth before sliding out of the booth like a geriatric turtle. I spotted Mak heading back toward the bathrooms and rushed after her. She ducked into the women’s bathroom, and I debated actually going in after her but decided that would probably freak her out.

  After a couple minutes she came out wiping her hands with a paper towel and stopped short when she saw me.

  “Hey, Declan…I’m—” Her full, pink lips were parted like she didn’t know what to say, but I knew the thing to fix that. I thrust my phone in front of her face, unable to contain my excitement. She scrunched her eyebrows together, and then the realization hit her as her eyes scanned the screen. Peering up at me with the widest smile, she practically vibrated with happiness.

  “We got a ninety-eight!” She covered her mouth with her hands and then threw her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her, closing my eyes and letting myself just feel her for a moment before I lifted her up in the air, spinning us around.

  Her bright laughter bounced off the walls of the small hallway. We’d worked so hard on it together and hit it out of the park. Breathing her in, my heart hammered against my chest. Moving my head back, I stared into the eyes I’d been waiting to see all week. Our mouths were less than an inch apart. Without thinking, I leaned in, capturing her lips in mine.

  She didn’t jerk away or push me off. Her lips were hungry. They parted and let me in like a welcome mat rolled out with a tall pitcher of lemonade. They were lips I hadn’t been able to get out of my mind in days. She tasted like a long sip of water after crossing the desert. Her body pressed tightly against mine, and my body responded like she’d programmed it to after only one night.

  “We did it.” She breathed against my lips as I set her down with her back against the wall. We stared into each other’s eyes.

  A churning well of emotion shot through me as she reached up and gently put her hand on my chest, not to push me away, just to rest it there like she wanted to be sure my heart was pounding as hard as hers was. She ran her hand through my hair, raking her nails over my scalp, sending shocks through my body.

  “I’m sorry I ran. I’m sorry I didn’t return your messages. I had a lot to think about.”

  I stared into her eyes and fell into her crystal-clear blueness. Someone stepped into the hallway, and she ducked her head. Her cheeks got all rosy and glowing. The guy walked past us into the bathroom, and the clattering of the bar rushed back into the little bubble we’d created around ourselves.

  I leaned my forehead against hers.

  “Just don’t do it again.”

  She held my gaze and nodded. Relief washed over me, and we had two things to celebrate.

  “We did it. I’ll meet you after your shift.” I dragged my knuckles along her jaw.

  She shuddered and opened her mouth. I put my finger over her lips. Their soft fullness had me making promises to myself for later that I was determined to keep. “I’ll see you after. I think this calls for a celebration.”

  Her tongue darted out, and she licked the tip of my finger, shocking the shit out of me.

  “I’m going to be pretty tired after my shift. If you’re going to be keeping me up late, you’d better make it worth my while.”

  Yes! She could deny a lot, but I knew why she’d been avoiding me. We were inevitable once we saw each other. Touched each other. This wasn’t a one-time thing, and I’d prove it to her.

  I chuckled and rested my hands on the brick wall, caging her in against my body. With my lips barely touching hers, I let the heat pulse between us. Dropping my hand, I trailed it along the bottom of her shirt. Her breath caught as she kept her eyes on me like she couldn’t look away, which was good because neither could I. I wanted to imprint this feeling on my soul and never let it leave. Snaking my hand along the waistband of her pants, I skimmed my finger across her skin.

  “Don’t you worry, Mak. I’ll make sure every second is a memory you won’t soon forget.” I nipped at her neck, and she let out a shuddering breath as I stepped back and headed down the hallway, smiling as she pressed her hand against the wall before following behind me and going straight into the kitchen.

  I loved seeing her laugh and smile and relax. In only a couple of hours I’d have her again. The building pressure and electricity between us meant it was only a matter of time. There was no way I was the only one who felt it. She could deny it for a week, but she couldn’t deny it for long, and I wasn’t going to let her forget how I made her feel. Because she made me forget anything else existed when we were together. I’d stop at nothing short of giving her everything she needed and more.

  20

  Makenna

  The seconds ticked by like hours as I waited for my shift to finish. My body hummed in anticipation after one kiss. All my time away from him, vowing to fortify myself against anything he might say or do to get a repeat of our night together, flew out the window once I’d seen him in person. Once I felt him pressed against me and breathed in his clean, soapy smell.

  His scent clung to my skin; not even running in and out of the kitchen erased that. He’d left the bar not too long after he left me in the hallway, practically panting. His presence drove me to distraction, and my customers preferred to eat their food of a plate, not be showered in it when their preoccupied server nearly toppled an entire plate of pasta into their lap.

  I untied the apron from around my waist and waved to an overwhelmed squadron of bartenders under the crush of the Friday night crowd. The butterflies flapping in my stomach were ready to escape from my mouth when I stepped into the crisp evening air, headed to my car. We hadn’t said where we’d meet, so I took out my phone. No messages. I bit my bottom lip which still tasted like him. Glanced up, I spotted my car and another treat.

  Leaned against the side of my Honda like a Christmas morning under the dim lights of the parking lot, he stood with his arms folded across his broad chest. The lot was deserted. The music, laughter, and shouts from the bar were drowned out by the pounding in my chest.

  Despite myself I picked up my pace, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. Every excuse I’d come up with and every reason I’d stayed away melted when I saw him. I hadn’t even been able to talk myself out of this during my shift. He had an uneasy look on his face like he wasn’t one hundred percent sure I wouldn’t come out of the bar and tell him to stay away from me.

  After a week of beating myself up and getting grades back on all my midterms, I realized maybe we could do this. It was As and A-s across the board. Maybe he wouldn’t be too much for me to handle. Having fun with him didn’t mean I couldn’t keep my eye on the prize.

  That’s why, while the first word out of his mouth was hi, I went for it. Slamming into his chest, I pressed my lips to hi
s full, soft ones and let myself melt into him. Not so much melt, but mount with Chernobyl-level ferocity that had him lifting me as I fumbled with my keys to unlock the door.

  If he was shocked, he didn’t show it. His hands were all over me as I turned the key. The thunk of the locks clicking open was all he needed.

  Grabbing the handle behind him, I mauled him to within an inch of his life. We fell into the back seat of my Honda Fit. Ha! Appropriate. He slid back across the seat, dragging me with him.

  “Eager much, Mak?”

  I shut him up with a pinch to his nipple through his shirt. He winced and laughed, covering my hand with his. His deep laugh made my body sway. I straddled his hips, soaking in his solid body beneath me. He grabbed on to my waist, his fingers tracing small circles on my skin.

  My body hummed as sexual energy and naughty thoughts flowed through my head. Are we really going to have sex in my car behind the bar? I didn’t think I could wait until we got to my apartment.

  The cool evening air and a few shouts from outside filtered into the car. I glanced behind me at the mostly deserted parking lot. The thrill of being a bit dangerous had a small laugh bursting free from my lips as I slammed the door behind me. There weren’t any sounds other than our panting breaths in my car. I had a feeling I’d never look at it the same after tonight.

  The back seat was roomy. Part of the reason I’d bought it for my cross-country trips to school. But screw the mileage per gallon and the sensible steering; right now, it was the stage for the next time Declan was inside me. I wasn’t even fooling myself anymore with calling it the last time. It wouldn’t be.

  His massive frame still filled the back seat as part of him hung off the edge. The dim the interior lights of my car gave me the perfect view of him spread out in front of me, like a delicious treat I thought I’d never get to have or thought I didn’t want.