Stubborn Love

by Natalie Ward

  Mia walks into the kitchen alone. “Hey you,” she says as she grabs herself a beer from the fridge.

  “Hey yourself,” I answer, literally gripping the counter to stop myself from pulling her into my arms.

  “So, thanks again for letting me stay here,” Mia says as she leans against the counter opposite me. I can tell she’s being a smart ass, the gleam in her eye giving her away. Fuck knows where Luke is right now, but I want to kiss her so bad that I don’t even think about whether I should. I just push off the counter, walk straight towards her and press my mouth hard against hers.

  “Jared…” I hear her whisper around my lips.

  I kiss her hard, fast, desperately. She moans against my mouth and my hands go to her face, cupping her cheeks as I hold her to me, drinking her in. Mia’s hand grabs a hold of the front of my t-shirt, pulling me closer like she’s not about to let me go either. If only she realised, I wasn’t ever going anywhere.

  We kiss like we haven’t seen each other in forever, even though it’s only been a couple of months this time. Mia’s whole body is pressed against mine and my mouth is on hers, my tongue, parting her lips. She tastes of beer and Mia and I feel like I could kiss her for days, weeks, years even.

  A noise somewhere in the apartment suddenly breaks us apart, both of us breathing harder. My heart is racing inside my chest and I’m pretty sure hers is too.

  “Sorry, couldn’t help myself,” I say, grinning as I take a step back from her, trying to calm down.

  Mia’s eyes dart around the room, but Luke is still not around. I have no idea where he is or what he could be doing, but I am eternally grateful for his sudden disappearing act. Mia’s cheeks are flushed and I know she enjoyed what I just did, wanted it just as much as me. When she finally looks back at me, I can see her eyes are sparkling with amusement. I watch as she takes a sip of her beer before she murmurs, “You are going to get me in so much trouble.”

  I can only smile as I say, “I hope so.”

  For the first time in forever, Luke isn’t working tonight, so my grand welcoming plan, which essentially involves Mia naked in my bed, hasn’t worked out as I’d hoped. Instead, the three of us have watched TV, ordered pizza and had some beers. I’ve spent most of the night on the opposite couch, watching Mia and trying not to get caught by Luke. In the end, I decide to go to bed, before either of them do. I’m not at all tired, but I’m trying to be subtle, in a completely obvious way. One part of me is going to bed in the hopes that Mia gets the hint and she comes and joins me. But the other part of me is going to bed now, so they can just hang out for a change, so it’s not so obvious what I’m really doing.

  Actually, I’m completely fucking whipped and I have no idea what I’m doing. Idiot.

  It takes another forty minutes before I finally hear the TV switch off and the two of them start to get ready for bed, the sound of a shower and doors closing. Another twenty minutes and finally there’s a knock at my door.

  “Yeah?” I call out.

  The door opens and Mia is standing on the other side wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a tank that’s so tiny, she may as well not be wearing it.

  “Can I come in?” she whispers.

  “Baby, you don’t have to knock and you don’t have to ask,” I say. “Get your ass in here!”

  She smiles at me and hurries inside, shutting the door behind her. As she starts to climb into bed, I point to her clothes, telling her, “You may as well take that off right now, because I’m only going to do it for you, as soon as you get in here.”

  Mia laughs now, before she stands up straight and looks me right in the eye. Then, so slowly it’s almost painful, I watch as her hands grab the bottom of her tank and pull it up her body. My fingers are itching, my brain begging me to reach out and yank the top off as fast as possible, but I don’t. Instead, I lie back and watch as my beautiful girlfriend slowly undresses for me. As her arms lift up, pulling the tank over her head and giving me the most amazing view of her breasts, I let out a low moan. Smiling, she throws it on the floor, before sliding her fingers into the waistband of her boxer shorts. Then, slower than I ever thought possible, she inches them down her legs until they are nothing but a pile of fabric at her feet. Taking two steps out of them, a now naked Mia reaches out, pulls back the covers and climbs into bed with me.

  I immediately pull her into my arms, pressing my entire body against hers. We kiss, slowly at first, but before long, it starts to get faster, harder, both of us desperate for each other. I haven’t seen her for ages, and right now, I’m aching for her, needing to feel her. As I roll her beneath me, I pause only long enough to grab a condom from my side drawer.

  “Wait,” Mia says, causing my heart to stop at the prospect of what she might be about to say. “I’m, I… well I started taking the pill,” she says nervously. “I know we haven’t really talked about it before, but well, part of the me not seeing anyone else, also means I’m not sleeping with anyone else.”

  She’s blushing now and I love it. A huge smile cracks out on my face as I grin down at her. “Baby, I’m definitely not sleeping with anyone else,” I say, leaning in to kiss her neck. “I’m not sleeping with anyone but you Mia, only you.”

  I barely hear her muffled, “Mmm,” as I set about discovering a whole new way to enjoy being with Mia.

  Today, 3:01am – Mia

  “What made you change your mind?” Jared eventually asks.

  I look at him questioningly.

  “You moved in here anyway?” he says. “We were together.”

  “I know.”

  “So I don’t get it Mia? I mean you kissed me, you slept with me, you moved in with me. Why would you do that if you thought it was all such a bad idea?” he asks, the confusion evident.

  I run my free hand through my hair, my other one still in his. “I know, I know,” I tell him, remembering that amazing first night I did move in with him. God, I’d been so nervous, but at the same time, so damn excited. Wanting to spend time with Luke, catching up with him, but at the same time, getting increasingly frustrated being stuck on the couch with him. And Jared, shit, the kiss he gave me when I first got here and then staring at me all night, going to bed before me, taunting me as I pictured him lying in his room, naked and waiting for me. I’d wanted to run in there after him, but I didn’t, waiting instead until Luke had finally gone to bed.

  I can remember that first night, so clearly, even now.

  I wait until I can hear the sound of running water coming from Luke’s room. I’ve already had a quick shower and now I’m standing in the middle of my room, jumping on the spot like an idiot in nothing but a pair of boxers and a tank. It’s now or never, I think to myself as I open the door, peering out to check that Luke isn’t for some reason still watching TV, even though I can hear his shower running.

  The coast is clear, so I switch off the light, close my bedroom door behind me and run over to Jared’s. Stopping, my hand on the handle, I put my ear against the door, trying to hear if Jared’s still awake. I’m not sure what I think I’m going to hear, but when I don’t hear anything, I knock, waiting to see if he’ll answer.

  “Yeah?” comes from the inside.

  I turn the handle and push the door open. Jared is in bed, the side lamp on and the sound of music is drifting from his speakers. “Can I come in?” I ask, the sight of his bare chest doing funny things to my stomach.

  “Baby,” he says, making my heart sing. “You don’t have to knock and you don’t have to ask. Get your ass in here!”

  I smile at his bossiness, realising now that he has been in here, waiting for me, ever since he went to bed. As I close the door behind me and walk towards him, Jared never takes his eyes off me and the funny feeling in my stomach only intensifies with every step closer.

  “You may as well take that off right now,” he says, pointing at me as I start to climb into bed. “Because I’m only going to do it for you, as soon as you get in here.”

  I laugh, a nervo
us response to the intense feelings that are only continuing to build inside me. As I pull back and stand in front of him, I meet Jared’s eyes. The look he’s giving me nearly sends me to my knees. He is looking at me with nothing but pure undiluted lust, as though he can’t wait to get his hands on me. I practically drool at the way he’s staring, my hands shaking slightly and my heart hammering in my chest. When he looks at me like this, it just makes me want him, so bad. It also makes me realise I was an idiot to ever think I could resist him.

  And it gives me confidence, makes me feel beautiful and wanted. So, keeping my eyes firmly locked on his, I reach down and ever so slowly, lift the tank I’m wearing, up my body and over my head. As the material covers my face, I hear Jared let out a moan that is so incredibly sexy; it sends a spike of lust straight through me. Smiling at him, at the look that’s written all over his face, I throw my tank on the floor, before sliding my fingers into the waistband of my boxers.

  With my eyes still on his, I slide the boxers slowly down my legs, before stepping out of them, pulling back the duvet and climbing in beside him. Jared’s arms are instantly wrapped around me, pulling me up against his warm naked body. I immediately feel just what my little strip tease did for him and I can’t help but push my hips against his, grind into him a bit more, just so I can get one of those groans out of him again.

  It works, the low, sexy growl escaping from his lips before they are pressed against mine. His kisses are soft, slow, his hand sliding up the side of my body and cupping my cheek as he teases me with his tongue.

  “I’ve missed you baby,” he murmurs between kisses. “So badly.”

  I smile against his mouth. “Me too.”

  I’m rolled over now, onto my back, Jared’s mouth never leaving mine. His entire body is pressing against me and it feels amazing, the weight and the warmth of him, the steady beat of his heart, pressed firmly against mine.

  “Jared,” I groan, pushing my hips into his to show him what I want.

  He pulls back from me, a gorgeous smile on his face as he reaches over to the bedside table. That’s when it suddenly hits me. I forgot to tell him, forgot to tell him about what I did after the last time I was here. I have no idea if it’s too much or too soon or what, but as his hand pulls open the drawer, my mouth opens.

  “Wait.”

  Jared immediately freezes, looking down at me with a face that’s a cross between confusion and fear. It almost makes me laugh as I imagine he thinks I’m about to stop this from going any further.

  As if.

  I smile up at him trying to reassure him there is absolutely no chance of me stopping this. “Wait,” I say again, and despite me knowing he wants this as much as I do, I’m suddenly embarrassed that I’ve done it, that maybe I should have talked to him about it first.

  Jared tilts his head in question.

  “I’m, I….well, I…” Fuck, I’m stammering like an idiot. “Well, I started taking the pill,” I blurt out. “And I know we haven’t really talked about it before, but…” Jared’s smiling at me now, his hand no longer reaching for a condom in the side drawer, but gently tucking my hair behind my ear. It lets me continue. “But part of the me not seeing anyone else, also means I’m not sleeping with anyone else.”

  Jared’s smile gets even bigger now and I watch him as his hand slides under my neck as he leans in to kiss me. Just as his lips are about to touch mine, he stops, that huge grin still on his face. “Baby,” he whispers against my mouth. “I’m definitely not sleeping with anyone else.” His mouth moves now and presses a kiss against my neck that has me melting. My eyes close as he says, “I’m not sleeping with anyone else but you Mia. Only you.”

  And then he moves and kisses my lips and I can say nothing else, only moan in response. His kisses are soft, gentle and I can feel his tongue as it traces along my bottom lip. Jared slides his hand under my back and I arch my body up to meet his.

  “Only you Mia,” he whispers again as he kisses a slow trail down my neck. “I’m only sleeping with you.”

  My fingers dig into his back, pulling him closer, forcing him to be where I want and need him to be. Jared pulls back and stops. I open my eyes and find him watching me, the smile gone now and replaced with a look of intense want. I blink and then swallow as I run my fingers up his back and brush the hair back from his face. He keeps looking at me, doing nothing else and just as I’m about to ask him what’s wrong; he ever so slowly pushes inside me.

  I groan at the sensation, my head pushing back into the pillow. I feel Jared’s lips on my neck, his soft moan against my skin.

  “Baby,” he whispers. “You feel incredible, so incredible.”

  God, so does he. I’ve never slept with a guy like this before and I can’t believe how different, how good it feels, and how incredibly perfect.

  “Are you alright Mia?” he asks, his lips still pressing soft kisses along my neck.

  As I open my eyes, I suddenly realise I haven’t said anything to him. “Yes,” I breathe out, waiting for him to look at me. “Amazing, this feels amazing,” I tell him.

  Jared smiles at me. “Uh huh,” he answers before he stops all talking with his lips on mine. His kisses are soft and slow still, as though he is savouring each and every one of them. He has one hand under my back and the other under my neck. I trail my fingers up and down his sides as he slowly starts to move his hips against mine.

  The feel of him inside me is nothing short of exquisite and the ache that was buried deep, slowly starts to spread throughout my whole body. My skin feels like it’s on fire right now, as I drape one of my legs over Jared’s hip to urge him closer to me.

  His kisses are continuous, on my neck, my collarbone, my shoulder and my lips. I open my eyes to look at him and find him watching me, his heated skin branding mine. The hand that was under my back now slides out and I watch his eyes as he smiles at me, and lowers that hand in between our hips. My eyes close in response to his touch.

  “Open your eyes baby,” Jared whispers to me.

  I force them open; force them to hold his stare as he slowly keeps moving, as his fingers start to move too. The ache inside me intensifies and I can feel my skin heating even more.

  “Jared,” I whisper, leaning up to kiss him.

  He kisses me quickly, but doesn’t stop and just when I think I can’t take anymore, I feel my whole body let go, feel the powerful ache explode throughout me.

  “Jared,” I cry out, louder this time.

  I hear him groan my name before he collapses against me, his head falling onto my shoulder, his lips resting against my skin. I feel his tongue slowly lick a trail of sweat up my neck and my eyes close in bliss.

  We lie here in silence, Jared’s body still on mine, my leg wrapped around his hips, my arms around his back. I can feel his warm breath against the skin of my neck, his occasional kisses. Without moving, I reach out my arm and switch off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. With my eyes on the ceiling, I watch as each of the stars slowly comes to life, lighting up the roof as though I am staring up at the night sky, which somehow looks even more brilliant tonight.

  Jared laughs against my neck. “You love those don’t you?” he says without lifting his head.

  I smile. I love that he knows I do. “Yeah, I do, they just look so beautiful, lighting up the whole ceiling like that.”

  I feel Jared lift his head, and as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I see him hovering over me, the whites of his eyes and teeth as he smiles down at me. “See, the way I see it,” he whispers. “Is that it’s you who’s beautiful, Mia. That it’s you who lights up this whole room, for me.”

  And right then, everything inside of me melts at his words. My heart does a slow lazy flip inside my chest as I slide my fingers into his hair, to the back of his head and pull his lips back to mine. And that’s when it hits me, the one thing I never expected to feel, but have known was there since the very first night I slept in this bed.

  I’ve fallen in love wit
h him.

  The words whisper inside my head and I kiss him harder, not knowing what to do with them, even though I know they are completely and utterly true.

  “Why Mia?” he asks, bringing me back to the now.

  I exhale, lifting up our joined hands as if to say, isn’t it obvious. “Because I was in love with you Jared, I couldn’t stop myself, even if I’d wanted to,” I say. “And trust me, I tried. I thought being so far away from you, it would help. That I could hide in LA and only see you when I came out to see Luke, but it just didn’t work that way, it wasn’t enough. And we spent so much time together, alone, I just couldn’t resist anymore.” I exhale as the frustration of everything I was feeling back then, finally gets itself out.

  “So what, I was just there for you because it was convenient, because Luke was never around,” Jared asks, the hurt in his voice evident. “We only got together because we happened to be alone all the time?”

  “No!” I cry. “It wasn’t like that, it was nothing like that.”

  “Then what was it like?” he asks me.

  “Jared, it wouldn’t have mattered if Luke had been around more or not, I wouldn’t have been able to stay away from you. I was drawn to you, for reasons that had nothing to do with you just being there when he wasn’t.” I’m tugging on his hand, trying to get him to listen, to understand. “It was so much more than that,” I whisper.

  Jared exhales, runs his other hand through his hair. “So why did you decide to take a chance on us then?” he asks, his voice quiet now.

  I pull our joined hands towards me, tightening mine around his, so he’ll really listen to what I’m about to say. “I fell in love with you Jared. I fell in love with you and the kind of person you are, the things you did for him and for me. I couldn’t ignore that, no matter how much I thought I’d wanted to,” I say, my eyes never leaving his. “Sneaking around had felt like a way around it all. It seemed like a way for us to make it work, for you to still be friends with Luke and for me to still be with you. I thought I could have the best of both worlds.”