Broken: Book One of the M Series

by Ryanne Anthony

  They remain quiet, so I keep going. “Which moves us to the Beta male...” I smile and turn to, “Matthew.”

  “Oh, shit.”

  The room chuckles.

  “Matthew, I think you're second. I think you've got connections that most are unaware of. I've heard you were with the FBI, but you kept that secret for a long time, right?”

  He nods.

  “I think when you quit, it was a relief to you, even though you probably put up a little fight, but that was just for show. I think you're the comedy to Marcus' drama but you mellow quickly when needed. I also think you've had more pussy than a girl's bathroom at a Catholic high school.”

  They laugh, hard.

  “I was not that that bad, Vicky.”

  Matthew shakes his head to snorts around the room.

  I smirk and narrow my eyes. “When you met Madison, you fell in love for the first time, didn't you? In that instant, just like Marcus with Mariah, and didn't see it coming. I bet you were hitting on someone else moments before you saw her. I'm guessing after that ménage a trois, you stopped your campaign to fuck any and every woman on the planet, which you only did because you wanted it well out of your system before you found her because you always knew you would, though you were in no rush.”

  Silence.

  “Ethan.”

  He sits up straight.

  “Old soul; the Cannons have Matthew, and the Harveys have you. The two of you together are hell on wheels. I think out of all of the people in room, despite Mariah and Madison knowing one another the longest, you and Matthew are the closest but you hide that, because you and he love your brothers and you don't want to make waves. A bromance is what you have. I think you, too, are protective and loyal, and have no major secrets. I think you're the best at your job and you are feared in court. Nathan and Russell.”

  Their eyebrows raise. I continue, “You guys share a bond because you are married to the girls in the family, which make you both unsure of your place in the family, because the brothers have such dominant personalities. Nathan, I believe you love your wife but you feel a little intimidated by her family, especially her father. I think you hero worship him. Did you lose your father early in your life?”

  “Thirteen,” he nods.

  I nod. “I think Thomas reminds you of him. Were they similar?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I thought so. You're a silent alpha, you're a joker, another old soul, and in your single days you had quite the harem, too. You are the amalgam; there is something of all these guys in you but you're unsure of the people around you. I think they like you, Nathan. I'd even say they love you. You're a great guy who Lisa loves with everything in her. I bet you have quite the temper and you protect those you love fiercely.”

  “Russell is the quiet predator. He thinks he guards himself, but really his emotions are on his sleeves. He's like an open book. When you met Evie, she was originally forbidden, right?”

  Russell sighs. “Not so much forbidden... more like unreachable.”

  “She fought your affections even though it was obvious she cared?”

  He nods. I nod too and look at Evelyn. I just figured her out, but I finish with Russell.

  “People mistake you for an athlete, but you suck.”

  A laugh escapes from the room.

  “I think you excel in one, but it's not the obvious choice, which, I believe because of your height, is basketball. No, I think you play something like tennis or bowling well, maybe running. Tall as you are, I think your long legs carry you well. I believe you love your wife and her family, despite being a spoiled mama's boy. You're also as loyal and protective as these guys, but I think you're more sensitive than you like to admit.”

  I turn the woman who is glaring at her husband. “Madison.”

  She startles and fake grins. “What's up, Vicky?”

  “Mouth of the south and totally uninhibited; I think you remind Mariah of her mother.”

  Madison smiles genuinely. “I do?”

  “You do!” Mariah confirms. “Like you should have been her daughter instead of me,” she laughs and looks at me. “They are so much alike, it's scary!”

  “I believe you. I also believe Madison is the way she is because she's been protected for most of her life. She doesn't think she makes great choices, so she depends on others to assure her she's doing the right thing. You have some brothers and a very protective father, right Madison?”

  “Wow. Yeah, I have two brothers and a male cousin I grew up with in a home with an over-protective father.”

  “And they like Matthew? I bet he's the only guy you've been with they liked.”

  “They liked Adam.”

  “Are you sure? Did they trust him?”

  “They did,” she says slowly.

  “But?”

  “Adam was married before me and he didn't tell me. We fought, made up and got married in a thirty-six-hour period. He was dead three months after the marriage,” Madison says guiltily.

  I give her a sympathetic look. “You can stop beating yourself up now, Madison,” I say quietly. I see Lil's head nodding.

  “I don't blame myself for his death,” she croaks.

  “I know you don't. You blame someone else here. You do feel guilty that he's dead, though.”

  “No, I don't, Vicky, on both points. Man, you hit home runs with the rest of them but you're fouling out with me,” Madison nervously laughs.

  I tilt my head at her then shake it. “I'll talk to you in private, Madison,” I say quietly.

  “No, I have nothing to hide. Go ahead, Vicky,” she glares at me.

  “Are you sure you want to hear what I have to say in front of everyone?”

  Madison looks around the room, then back to me. “Yes. Go.”

  She’s going to fight me. I inhale and exhale long and slow.

  “Madison, it's not your fault Adam died, however it happened.”

  “I know! He was shot by his ex-wife. Why would I think that was my fault?”

  “Because despite the love you obviously had for him, it kept you from the man you really wanted to be with. By the time you realized he was available, it was too late. You were in too deep with Adam. You wanted Matthew but you didn't want to hurt Adam. On paper, Adam was perfect for you... but there was something missing and that kept you at what, seventy, eighty percent happy with him?”

  Silence. Madison stares at the floor.

  “Madison?”

  “Yes,” she whispers.

  I nod. “You've had your heart broken before Matthew and you were too scared to approach him with your love. Someone, I'm guessing it was the cocksucker that raped you, verbally abused you... trounced your love, making you have doubts about every man since. Did you have a hard time telling Adam you loved him, too?”

  Madison puts her head down and locks her fingers behind her head. She stays silent until light weeping is heard coming from her. Matthew jumps up and tries to go to her but I stop him.

  “Let her feel this,” I whisper. “Trust me, Matthew.”

  He appears to want to approach her anyway but after glimpse at Marcus, who shakes his head and points to his chair, Matthew stops.

  “Here, Sugar,” Mariah says softly, holding out tissue.

  Madison takes it and cleans her face. She snaps her head back up and glares at me. It feels like she and I are the only two in the room. Good.

  “Finished?”

  I shake my head. “Did you have a hard time telling Adam you loved him?”

  “Yes!”

  “Who helped you with that?”

  “Kristen.”

  I look at Mariah then back to Madison. “She filled the void left in you after you and Mariah separated when you went to college?”

  “Yes. Sort of,” she says, crossing her legs and arms.

  I look at Lil. She shakes her head. “I know. Keep going.”

  “What? Keep going with what?” Madison snaps.

  “You're trying to irritate
me, Madison. You're becoming withholding, tense and hostile.”

  Her mouth tightens as she glares at me. “I'm not.”

  I look at her then at Matthew, who is scowling. I look back to Madison, who tightens her arms. My eyes widen when some things hit me. I stand and go to Madison.

  “Stand up,” I order her. She scowls but does it, slowly. She glares down in my face, like she wants to hit me.

  I look Madison in her eyes. “What is it? What do you need someone to do?”

  Madison's eyes widen. “I'm sorry?”

  “What is it Kristen does to make you listen to reason?”

  Mariah intakes sharply; I look at her.

  “What does she do, Mariah?”

  “She holds her, tightly. Cheek to cheek,” she says softly.

  “Show me, please.”

  She gestures Lisa to get up and embraces her. Madison looks over and shivers.

  “Where is Kristen? When's the last time you've seen her?”

  “A couple months; she lives in LA now and is a reporter with a rival network.” Madison whispers.

  “Why do you still need that hug?”

  She shrugs.

  I lean in and whisper to her, not touching. “Are you having doubts about your husband; his love?”

  She blinks at me, rapidly.

  “Why?” I whisper again. “He's devoted to you.”

  She shrugs.

  “Do you love him?”

  She nods slowly.

  “How often do you tell him?”

  She pulls back and shakes her head. I whisper again.

  “You feel guilty, still. You don't have to, Madison. What happened to Adam was not your fault. You are with the man you are supposed to be with. It's not only sex, Madison. He loves you, too.”

  She inhales sharply and searches my eyes.

  “Did you receive therapy after Adam died?”

  She shakes her head.

  “How did you deal with his death?”

  “She didn't,” Mariah whispers.

  “How long before you and Matthew got together after his death?”

  “Three years. I may be driving him away,” she whispers.

  “Why?” I say loudly. “Why?” I repeat quietly.

  “I've been keeping him at a distance. I only let him near me when we have sex. There's no intimacy,” she whispers in my ear.

  “Because of the guilt about Adam?”

  She shrugs.

  I pull back. “How long have you and Madison been together, Matthew?” I ask still staring at Madison.

  “Three years.”

  I frown at Matthew. “Are you sure?”

  “Uh, yeah,” he chuckles.

  Okay, okay... think. I start to pace.

  “When did the two of you meet?” I ask pointing to Matthew.

  “April, 2012.”

  I nod. “Do you remember the first time you were intimate with her?”

  He smiles. “July 22, 2012,” they say together.

  “Wow,” I mutter with a smile. “And then?”

  “Nothing, she went back to Chicago before I woke up the next day.”

  “Did you love her then?”

  “Yep.”

  “So what happened?”

  Matthew blows out a breath. “I had to go on an assignment...” he glares at Caspar, who shrugs at him. “And by the time I got back to the States, she had moved on to some goofy fucker she met at her job.”

  “How long did that relationship last, Madison?”

  She mumbles something.

  “I'm sorry, how long?”

  “Three years, Vicky!” Madison shouts.

  I look at Matthew as the others inhale.

  “No, she said earlier that her relationship with Adam was fast, eight and half months, start to finish. This goofy guy you're speaking of, Matthew, is a non-factor. I suspect she was with him, trying to get over you, but for some reason she didn't take to him. But...” I turn back to Madison. “What was it about that guy, Madison? Why did you stay with him so long?”

  “I thought Matthew didn't want me. So I used him, attempting to stroke my ego. I didn't love him.”

  “He was a fuck buddy?”

  “No, he was a no-good-at-fucking buddy; another half-dick troll who didn't care anything about pleasing a woman, always about him. All he was good at was getting into the best parties in Chicago.”

  “He was safe.”

  “Safe?”

  “He couldn't break your heart if you didn't love him. There was no danger of pain from him, since your heart belonged to someone else.”

  Silence.

  “What year did Adam die?” I ask the room, pacing again.

  “2016.”

  “And she and Matthew got together in...?”

  “July, 2018. We married in January 2019.”

  “That's not three years. That's a little over two and a half...” I mutter to myself. I turn to Lil. “2012 she falls for Matthew; 2015 she's married to and pregnant with Adam, but in 2016 Adam dies. 2019 she's with Matthew and now, in 2022, she's distancing.”

  “Makes you think...” Lil starts.

  I turn back to Madison. “What happened in 2009?”

  “Nothing,” she mumbles, stumbling backwards as if I’d smacked her.

  “Oh, yes, something did. The rape happened in 2008. When did you start dating again?”

  Silence.

  “Does anyone have Kristen's number?” I ask loudly.

  “Phil came back, all right?!” Madison screams at me.

  “What?” Matthew shouts. “What do you mean, 'Phil came back'?”

  “Phil came back,” Madison repeats and plops down in her seat, holding her head. “He and a friend confronted me on the street, in front of my first job in New York.”

  “Is that the asshole that raped her?” Nathan asks.

  “Yeah,” Matthew snarls through gritted teeth.

  I sit in Mandy's empty seat and turn to Madison.

  “What happened when he came back?”

  “Well, well, well... if it isn't the biggest whore of NYU’s history,” she mutters, crossing her arms again, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  I, and a couple of others, inhale sharply.

  “Go on,” I say softly.

  “Oh, yeah, I hit that... several times. She was such a whore, probably still is. She actually said she loved me; like I could ever bring a whore home to my parents. You should give her a go, Paul. She'll suck the skin off of your dick. No good at fucking though... but that mouth! How about a blow for old times’ sake, Madison?”

  I shake my head.

  “I stood there frozen. I finally managed to croak out that I couldn't, that I had just started seeing someone and Phil started right back up,” Madison says quietly, tears streaming down her face.

  “What did he say to that, Madison?” I ask quietly as I move her hair from her face, noticing how tight she's bound herself.

  “Don't worry about it Paul, she'll be available in three years, max. That's about the longest any dumb-ass she ends up with will be able to tolerate her. I've got a few minutes, Madison... let's have that blow job for old times’ sake now. Hell, I’ll even fuck you. I won't tell him if you won't.”

  Total silence. I look around and everyone is fighting anger. The love in this room is evident.

  “What happened next?” I ask softly.

  “I was crying and shaking. My boss walked up and put me in a cab. I went home, called in and quit. I went to work to my father's company.”

  “Why didn't you ever get that PTSD therapy I suggested when you broke down with Matthew?”

  “What?” I say as I look to Lil. “What are you talking about?”

  Lil goes into a story about the night Matthew and Madison got engaged. I turn to Madison.

  “What word?” I ask. Silence.

  “Vicky?”

  I turn to Lil again and she hands me a piece of paper. I read it.

  “Nuts?” I say aloud.

  Th
ey stare at Madison, who starts shaking.

  “This Phil is a piece of work. Misguided as it is, why are you giving Phil this power over you anyway? That's nuts.”

  “Stop it.”

  “I will not. You are nuts if you think I'm going to stop with that word, nuts.”

  “Stop it.”

  “How did he use this word with her?”

  I look around the room and no one wants to answer. I sigh hard.

  “Help me help her,” I shout at them. “She's ready to do whatever the hell she can to drive her husband away. Is that what you all want to happen?”

  I look around and no one will make eye contact. I look at Marcus, who sighs.

  “You drive me fucking nuts in bed,” he murmurs.

  My eyes bulge.

  “Okay. Phil said that during his attack and Matthew repeated it after sex, right?”

  Marcus nods.

  “You have something against compliments, Madison?”

  Her head snaps up. “What?”

  “Sounds to me like you're good with sex.”

  Matthew snorts. I look at him.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing,” he says, staring straight ahead, “Just the understatement of the century.”

  I look back at Madison. “You have a problem with pleasing the guy you're with?”

  She frowns at me.

  “Sounds like you worked these guys into a frenzy and that was the only way to compliment you.”

  The door opens behind me and we all turn to see who's entered.

  “Hi, Tim,” I smile at my husband who's carrying a box of food. My assistant is behind him holding the drinks. I thank her and dismiss her for the day. Tim kisses me and greets everyone.

  “Does anyone mind if Tim participates, helps me a little?”

  They shake their heads. I smile at my husband.

  “Tim, do you enjoy sex with me?”

  He scowls and tilts his head. “Is this a trick question?”

  “No, honey, please answer.”

  “Of course I do,” he nods, “Immensely.”

  “And if I were to tell you that you drove me fucking nuts in bed, what would you say?”

  He chuckles. “Considering your parents are in the room, I better not comment.”

  “It’s fine, Tim,” Lil says. “We're in the middle of a session.”