Matt moved toward the canvas, brush in hand. “Teach me how to paint.”
“Honestly?”
“Just the basics.”
“If I was starting with the basics I’d probably go over the color wheel with you first.”
“Yeah, skip that. I want to get on with it.”
“Oh, do you?” She took the warm and rough hand that held the brush to position it. “First, don’t hold it like it’s a hammer.”
She then took another brush from her supplies and demonstrated. “You want to hold it like this, and just brush a stroke across the canvas.”
He grinned. “Did you say stroke?”
“What are you? Twelve?”
“Just don’t say thrust or I won’t be able to get through this lesson. I had no idea art was this sexy.”
She laughed. He somehow got more laughs out of her than anyone in recent memory.
“It’s not. Not usually.”
“Maybe that’s because you haven’t been doing art the right way.” He met her eyes. “With me.”
Those edgy dark eyes were throwing off some smoldering heat and she was quickly wilting. “That’s interesting, coming from someone who doesn’t think we’re a good idea.”
“Didn’t say that. Not recently.”
“No. You just keep saying you’re sorry.”
He didn’t speak, merely studied her lips.
“Um, so what do you want to draw? I always like to start with at least an idea,” Sarah said.
“How about a plane?”
“Why am I not surprised.” She took his brush and instead handed him her best fine camel hair one. “You’ll need straight lines for that. And also a plan. You want it to be perfect, don’t you?”
“I thought art was supposed to be spontaneous. Creative.”
She chose to ignore that, even though, dammit, he was right. Maybe that’s why her painting had suffered for years. She’d fallen straight out of creativity when forced to for her day job. No creativity allowed. But then again, letting go and trusting in the process had been difficult for years.
One of her teachers in college had told her, You’d be extraordinary if you could just let go of the rules. You know them well, Sarah. Now is the time to play with them. Easier said than done when those “rules” had been ingrained into her by every teacher she’d had for years. Not to mention the safety of rules in the real world. Guidelines. She’d let go of certain rules once before, after all, and it had nearly killed her spirit.
But letting go and giving in to her attraction for Matt felt freeing and not like something she wanted to hide. Like she could get back to at least a small part of who she used to be before everything had spiraled so out of control.
Admit it. He’s different.
Matt was loyal to the core, and in him she recognized a kindred spirit. He’d screwed up big-time. She’d screwed up, too. The only difference between them was that she hadn’t come out of that dark and painful time with a living, breathing reminder. She understood him far better than he realized. And she wanted Matt to know that she wasn’t going to become just one more item on his to-do list. He didn’t need to fix her or rescue her because she could save herself.
She already had once before and she’d do it again.
Matt had been painting his lines for a few minutes and they weren’t half-bad. It wasn’t impressionism, far from it, but she’d seen fans of abstract art do a lot worse. It was definitely decent for his first effort. She wondered if he excelled at everything and if it was at all possible that she’d eventually grow to hate him for that.
She nudged him with her shoulder. “Not bad, Conner.”
Instead of accepting her praise, Matt turned to her and painted her nose. Just a little flick of the wrist but nevertheless. Her nose.
“Hey!” She laughed and rubbed it off with her thumb.
“You look sweet with a red nose.”
“I’m sure I do.”
“But you’d look great in anything.” He studied her lips.
Before she could think to stop him, he’d flicked another dot of paint on her mouth with the tip. Then he leaned down and kissed the spot. Licked it.
Holy hell. “Uh, Matt...that might be toxic. I’m not—”
He apparently didn’t agree, because he dropped the brush and cut her words off by kissing her again. And again. Long and deep, blazing-hot kisses. In no time at all he had her pinned against one wall of the shed, one arm braced on each side.
When he broke off the kiss, she thought she might scream and curse at him.
He pressed his forehead to hers. “What are we doing, Sarah?”
“Whatever it is, I think we’re headed in the right direction.” Her hand went to his hip and she tugged him closer. “You know what I want.”
“And would you like to hear what I want?”
Oh yes. If he was about to tell her how he liked it, favorite positions and personal fantasies, she only wished she had a notebook nearby to take notes. “Yes, please. All of it.”
“I don’t want to be someone you ever regret.” His thumb traced her jawline and his big hand came to rest at the nape of her neck.
The raw honesty in those words went all the way to her heart. He couldn’t know yet how many regrets she already had in her life. She didn’t make rash and impulsive choices any longer.
“You won’t be.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because I’m a grown-up. I know the score.”
“The score?”
Uh-oh. The tone in his voice told her he didn’t much like her word choice.
His thumb swept her lower lip. “Try again.”
“I don’t need you to fix my life, slay my dragons and all that. I rescue myself. I always have. And I promise I won’t fall in love with you. Believe me, I know the difference between love and sex.”
Damned if he didn’t look disappointed, but then his gaze softened on her again. “I can’t give you much right now, but I can give you this.”
“This is all I need. Just you. More than ever.” She reached up and pulled on his neck, trying to bring him close again. Being that he had the rock-solid strength of a building, he didn’t budge.
He still studied her, almost as if he caught something in her eyes, too. “You don’t know how glad I am to hear that. Because I’ve been watching you all week, and I swear I got hard every time you even looked at me.”
Oh boy.
Finally, he allowed her tugging and he bent down and kissed her again, slowly and more deliberately. He stopped kissing her only to grab her wrist and pull her out of the shed. “Inside.”
“Good idea,” she said, following him inside to the much cooler home. “It’s really hot today.”
Another balmy June day and the California dry heat wave had continued with little relief in sight.
“It’s about to get a lot hotter.”
And she could hardly wait. She headed toward her bedroom, racing ahead of him now. She’d just passed the couch when she was summarily spun and tugged down by her waist onto the couch. She wound up splayed on top of an edgy and sexy Matt. Perfect.
“We spent our first night together right here,” he said.
The unexpected romance behind those words sliced right through her. She straddled Matt and smiled as she slowly unclipped her hair. “I remember.”
“And what I want to do to you right now is what I could only imagine doing that night.” He reached to slowly pull off her blouse.
And this was where she stepped out of her head. She’d dreamed about peeling Matt’s button-up Mcallister Charters shirt off more times than she could recall. Now she unbuttoned it carefully and deliberately, her eyes eating up all that beautiful and taut male skin. He shrugged out of his sh
irt and threw it on the ground, turning his full attention to her.
He unhooked her bra faster than she could and it fell to the ground. His mouth covered one breast, while his hand palmed the other. They were rough and callused, the hands of a man who worked with them. Incredibly turned on by that fact, her fingers roamed from his pecs down to his abs and settled near the waistband of his cargo pants. Still fascinated by her nipples, he licked and suckled till she whimpered. Instead of just trying to please her, it was almost as if he was paying tribute to her breasts. As if he obtained all his own pleasure from hers.
Wanting to get to him, she shifted her body and went to the front of his pants to tug desperately. She was no longer thinking, no longer worried or holding back, but simply more alive than she’d ever been before. He stopped her from going for his pants and went for her jeans instead, unzipping and opening up just enough to allow his big hand inside to reach her core. He stroked in slow and deliberate rhythmic movements. She squirmed and circled her hips in time with him, completely taken up in this moment. With him. Outside of herself. He stroked until she almost asked him to stop because she couldn’t take that anymore. He stroked until she shuddered and moaned, coming apart for him.
Her last moan was swallowed by his long kiss. “So good.”
He stood her up and pulled down her jeans and panties the rest of the way. “Step out.”
She did and stood completely naked before him. Shivering even in this summer heat. He was still wearing everything but his shirt. Seemed unfair somehow.
“I want to touch you.” She reached for him. “All of you.”
“There will be plenty of time for that later.” But he stood to pull off his cargo pants and then his underwear in one quick swoop.
Wow. A perfect male form...all hard angles and...hard everything. She stared, but he didn’t let her do that for long. He pulled her back on top of him again and she used that opportunity to slide down the length of him. She licked from his neck to his abs, making her way south. The sound of a condom packet ripping open made her look up, and Matt handed it to her. She took her time and pleasure covering him, loving the way his entire body tensed like one hard coil beneath her.
The way he moaned beneath her touch... “I want inside you.”
He positioned her hips where he wanted them and thrust inside her with a push that made them both moan. When he didn’t move for a moment, she used the time to feel him pulsing inside her, closing her eyes to the intense pleasure he gave her. Then she realized that he was waiting for her cue and so she moved to take all of him. Rocking. Letting him in. The swaying motion of her hips seemed to propel him and he plunged into her faster. Over and over again.
“Sarah,” he groaned. “You’re so beautiful.”
She did feel beautiful right now. Like a striking and stunning gazelle in the forest, running wild and free and uncontained. She didn’t feel prickly and untouchable anymore. Over and over again he told her how gorgeous she was, how much he wanted her, the soft words a sharp contrast to the strong way his body pumped into hers, completely filling it.
“Matt,” she breathed, saying his name over and over again.
“What do you want, babe? Tell me.”
“Harder,” she said, hoping that would send him over the edge and needing so much to give him the same pleasure he gave her.
As he drove into her, he reached between them and stroked her core again. Once. Twice. She shuddered and quivered, coming with a fierceness that shocked her. She was pulled under, boneless and unable to stand. Riding the crest with him, she felt him shudder under her soon after. They both gasped and moaned. Catching her breath, Sarah fought hard to recover the steady pattern of her breaths.
Not like this. Never like this.
She wasn’t even sure she was still breathing, but by the sound of her heartbeat thudding in her ears she was very much alive.
CHAPTER TWENTY
MATT KNEW THAT the sex would be good between him and Sarah. He wanted her, she wanted him and they’d both had enough foreplay in the past week, hell, the past few months if he were being honest, to rev up the coldest of hearts. Still, he’d never thought it could be like this.
Not a sensation where his heart would leap out of his chest, the sharp thuds practically cracking his rib cage. Had he not known any better, he’d have to guess he was out of shape. But this had nothing to do with physical prowess and everything to do with something that came uncomfortably close to his heart. He forced himself to school the pattern of his breathing and pretend this kind of thing happened to him every time. Yeah, sure, buddy.
He skimmed down her spine to the small of her back, without a doubt the softest skin he’d ever touched. He rolled and tucked her under him. “You okay?”
Why not ask yourself that?
Because, hell, he already knew the answer. Definitely not okay. Unless “okay” could fall under the same definition as shocked. Reeling.
“Uh-huh.”
He fervently hoped she was lying, too.
“Hi,” she said and her hands came up around his neck.
“Hi yourself.” He kissed her gently, and then again not so gently. “Man, you’re sweet. So fucking sweet.”
“No, I’m not,” she said, breaking off the kiss. “I’m tougher than I look.”
He chuckled, having come up close and personal with tough more than once. “Not to me you’re not.”
“Well, I’m not a marshmallow.”
“True. But you have a lot in common with a marshmallow. I want to eat you both.” He watched as the color in her eyes shifted and darkened with heat.
She drew in a sharp breath. “Matt Conner, you are a very naughty man.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” He tugged on a lock of her hair, then leaned in and nuzzled her ear. “We both need a shower now. Cool off.”
“Mmm.” Suddenly she stilled under him. “Shackles!”
Matt turned to look and Shackles sat right outside the sliding glass door, panting from the heat but waiting for them patiently. This was a damn good dog, rescue or not. Matt pulled on his boxers and opened the sliding glass door to let him inside. The poor dog went straight for his water bowl.
“I feel awful,” Sarah said. “I didn’t even hear him scratching at the door.”
“You were otherwise occupied.”
She was sitting up on the couch, still as naked as on the day she’d been born. Those long, soft, curvy legs that he would have wrapped around his back next time. Nipples rosy pink, and still slightly wet from his tongue. Her hair wavy, wild and untamed. Just like he loved it.
Whoa. Maybe he should slow the three-alarm fire down. Or not.
“And I plan to keep us occupied for the rest of the night.” With that he tugged her up off the couch and led her by the small of her back into the bathroom.
“Promises, promises.”
He leaned in to turn on the showerhead and she copped a feel when he did, shoving her hand down his boxers and stroking him until he moaned.
“Do you like that?”
“I think you know how much.”
He almost came again under her strokes, which would have been embarrassing. It had been a long time since anyone had touched him like this, possibly never, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. The water lukewarm enough not to shock their systems, he pulled off his boxers and tugged her in after him. He took the brunt of the shower headfirst while she stood just under him getting some of the spray. Palming her ass, he tugged her to him and kissed her.
She kissed him back, deep and longing kisses which showed him more of the Sarah he’d wanted to see for months. The beautiful and sexy woman under the hot librarian look. But when she pulled back, her eyes were watery.
He jerked, and so did his heart. Those were tears in her eyes. “
Hey, what’s this?”
“Tell me you’re not sorry about this. You said you didn’t want to be my regret. But I don’t want to be yours, either.”
God, she hurt his heart as certainly as if she’d stuck a nail in it. “Hell, no, I’m not sorry. Never. You?”
“No!” she protested, another tear rolling down her face and mixing with the water spray. “I never thought I would be. I just don’t want you to be.”
He wasn’t sure where this was coming from, but understood insecurity when he saw it rear its ugly face. Sarah had no reason to feel insecure about this thing between them. He was on board. He’d been through the flight check and was ready for takeoff. In other words, he was a complete idiot for her. He was pretty much jumping out of a plane without a parachute. But this was Sarah, and he’d die before he’d hurt a hair on her head.
Which meant if anyone got hurt in this scenario, it would obviously be him. And given his past, he shouldn’t be surprised if that was exactly what happened.
“I’m not sorry, babe,” he said, cupping her chin. “I’m so not sorry I’m going to show you how not sorry I am for the rest of the weekend. How’s that?”
Her warm smile cut right through him.
Two hours later, Matt lay in Sarah’s bed. Sated. Exhausted. She was snuggled next to him, one long leg between his thighs. He tried hard to remember the last time he’d felt this relaxed and came up with a big fat zero.
“What do you want for dinner?” he asked, his finger skimming the inside of her arm. Her skin was so soft his rough palm felt like sandpaper against it.
“You mean I get all this and dinner, too?”
“You get whatever you want, babe.”
“Careful,” she teased, coming up on one elbow.
Airman to the Rescue Page 15
