The Cowboy Takes a Bride

by Kristi Rose

  Chapter 28

  For a man who’d spent the last eight years speaking only to her with words heavy in irritation, derision, or intolerance, he was unnervingly calm and…well, the look on his face was off. On anyone else, she would think he was sad. Marcus Hanover the Third didn’t do sad. Not since his wife had died, and certainly not when he found his runaway daughter.

  “Are you going to start talking soon? Because you are crashing a funeral, if you haven't noticed, and the last thing I want for these people is to make their day worse by causing a scene. So say what you want and leave.”

  “I want to know why you ran away. I have my ideas, but I need to hear it from you.”

  “Why would I stay, Father? What was there for me?” She was no longer afraid to speak her mind. This was her home, and she was surrounded by people who cared about her and wanted the best for her. It was the Shepards who had filled the emptiness in her life.

  “Meredith, I will not tolerate that tone—”

  Meredith tossed her head back with a derisive laugh. “You won't tolerate that tone? You want to know why I left? That's one reason right there. You're a cold, unloving man, and I'd rather live with complete strangers than another day being your patsy. Not once did you ask me what I wanted. Not once did you show concern for me and my well-being.” She pointed to the door. “You need to leave. Now. You need to leave and never come back.”

  Briefly, her father looked away, and when he looked back, tears glistened in his eyes. For the first time since her mother had died, she saw the man who'd taught her to ride a bike. She saw the softness in his expression, a look she remembered from her childhood.

  “I'm sorry Meredith. Everything I did was because I––”

  “Don't say it was because you love me.” She shook her head. “Love doesn't look like that.”

  “But fear does.” Father wiped a tear from under his eye and stood. “You were all I had left. That alone frightened me. I wanted to protect you while protecting myself in case I lost you.”

  “That doesn't explain why you used me for your business purposes.”

  “Initially, I thought I was giving you a purpose, too, a job of sorts. Then having you work the crowd simply became my modus apparatus. It was easier to be that type of guy than a worrying father.” His gaze never wavered from hers.

  Meredith was lost for words. In the beginning, this conversation was all she wanted from her father, to understand why. Now? It would take more. Something big. He'd broken her trust, and getting that back would take work and time.

  “Father––”

  “Just think about coming home with me. Talk with that—your—your husband.” He stepped up to her and, catching her off guard, pulled her into a hug. “I'm so relieved you are all right,” he said before letting her go. After a final squeeze to the shoulders, he kissed her forehead and left.

  Shocked to her core, Meredith didn't know what to do next, at least as far as her father was concerned. Hopefully she and Jace would get a chance to talk about it tonight. If he was up for it.

  After all the guests had left and Willow had gone back to the cabin with her mom, Meredith found Jace sitting in the dark in his office, a bottle of whisky beside him.

  “Hey,” she said softly.

  He nodded.

  “Want me to start a fire?” There was a chill in the room, and she wrapped her arms around herself while moving toward the fireplace.

  “Leave it,” he said and set his tumbler on his desk.

  “Can I get you anything?” She wanted to take his pain away.

  He shook his head. “What's the deal with your dad?”

  “There is no deal. He left.” Maybe talking about him right now wasn't a good idea. There was a weird vibe in the room. She expected grief, but anger seemed to be present as well. She supposed that was how men dealt with their emotions.

  “He'll be back.” Jace sat forward and grabbed her hand, then pulled her before him.

  “Yes, I'm sure he will.” She looked down, trying to read his expression, but he was staring at her chest. “Why don't we go to bed,” she suggested.

  He shook his head, then slid his other hand under her skirt, up her thigh, and then skimmed his fingers across the seam of her panties.

  “Jace,” she whispered, her knees wobbly.

  He tugged her closer, her legs bumping the chair as she came to stand between his legs. He tugged again, and she nearly fell into his lap. Sensing what he wanted, she leaned forward and climbed onto his lap, straddling him, her skirt rising to her hips. Clothes weren't removed, only shoved aside. Lips brushed across bodies, and his hand tangled in her hair, clutching tightly. He took her there with such fierceness and urgency she felt as if they were racing against something. Being caught? Time? She wasn't sure, but the frenzied need called out the loudest so she ignored everything else but that. When it was over, he led her to bed where they repeated it, only this time with less urgency and more sadness. No words, only touch with Jace running his hands over her body as if he was memorizing every curve.

  They fell asleep in each other's arms.

  Chapter 29

  Watching Meredith sleep was amazing and painful at the same time. Painful because he'd forgotten that she might not always be there and this might, in fact, be the last time he would be able to enjoy this voyeuristic activity. Jace was an honorable man who was compelled to do the right thing. Too bad he didn't know what that was. Pops would know what to tell him, and not being able to ask made the ache in Jace's chest throb harder. At least his old man had died happy and, hell, Jace was thankful Pop's heart attack had been quick, his death instantaneous. There would be no wheelchairs or ventilators, which Jace tried to see as a silver lining. Pops would have hated that. Jace hated the whole damned situation. He simply wanted his dad back.

  Brushing a hand down his face, then wiping his eyes, Jace decided coffee might help him swallow the lump in his throat. He knew what needed to be done.

  Downstairs he made a large pot of coffee and stuffed a dinner roll from last night's wake in his mouth. He would check the herd and feed the chickens, but not before he spent a few minutes sitting on the fence. Tuck would be in soon, but Jace needed some time to clear his mind, come to terms with his decision. Maybe he'd talk to Pops out there. After filling a Thermos, he pulled on his jacket. His boots––still speckled with blood––were by the door and reminded him that his mom could have been burying her son and husband within a two-week period. He could understand Hanover's angst about Meredith. Following a quick glance at the empty stairs, he quietly left the house. His mom's cabin was dark, and he hesitated, wondering if he should check on her.

  He'd let the sun rise fully first. He sat on the fence––no small feat getting up with his aching ribs and bruised lungs––and weighed the options of Meredith staying, leaving, the ranch, Willow, and all the responsibility that was now his. With the sun high in the sky and the roosters crowing, Jace couldn't linger any longer and got about starting the daily chores. His mother sat on the porch of her cabin with a mug of something hot––likely coffee––and gave him a sad wave before looking away. He left her to her thoughts.

  He was coming out of the barn when a small limo came down the lane. It stopped by the porch stairs, and Hanover stepped out. Meredith was on the porch in a flash, arms crossed, and a scowl on her face. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but Jace could read her body language. Whatever Hanover was saying was working. Meredith's arms dropped to her hips as she faced her father. When he pulled her into a hug, Meredith didn't resist. When they separated, she caught sight of Jace and bee-lined for him, Hanover waiting on the porch.

  “Hey, did you get any sleep?” She stepped close and searched his face. She was stunning with the morning sun behind her, no makeup on her face, and how he loved her ponytail. She looked every bit suited for the ranch, but hadn’t that been her role with her father? To blend in? He didn't want to question the past months, but the lack of sleep, the onslaught of g
rief, and the easy-found doubt were prominent in his mind.

  “Enough.” He glanced at her father. “What's he want?” Though he could take a stab at it and likely hit the mark.

  “He wants to stay for a bit. I know the timing isn't the best but...”

  Well, Christ on the cross. He was about to do something stupid, except he needed to know. If she stayed, he would always wonder if it was because she was too afraid of what was waiting for her on the other side. He wanted to be the greener grass for her. He wanted to be where her heart and soul craved to be. Like his heart and soul did. He didn't want to be her hideout. Yes, he craved her, too, but letting her go now would hurt far less than her leaving unexpectedly. Especially knowing he’d been too chicken shit to set her free.

  What was that stupid ass saying? If you love someone set them free?

  He leaned against the fence and touched her shoulder. “How does this feel?”

  “Awful, but the ringing in my ears is getting softer. That’s a good thing.” She smiled.

  “It could have gone horribly wrong,” Jace said. His body ached as he imagined what today would be like had the bear attacked her or killed either or both of them.

  “I am well aware of that. For a while, I think I’ll stay close to home.”

  “And you want your father to be here?”

  “I think this is a safe place to face him, don't you?”

  Jace looked at her father’s limo, so out of place, and he decided to make a clean cut. “I think you should go home with your father.”

  Meredith laughed nervously. “What did he say to you yesterday in the kitchen, because you know how he is.”

  He would not let her hide out here. He was no better than hen shit on a pump handle if he did that. He stared at the splatter of blood across his boot. “He’s missed you.”

  She snorted. “He missed controlling me. He missed using me. He missed—”

  “He talked about losing your mother and then losing you, Meredith. He’s scared and hurt.”

  “Bullshit.” She shook her head.

  “Do you really believe it's bullshit? What if he were to die tomorrow? Would you be okay with how things are right now?” Jace glanced at the cabin where Pops had lived. “He’s all the family you have left.”

  Meredith’s hesitation was all the indication Jace needed; he was doing the right thing. If she went with her father and wasn’t able to find a middle ground with him, then so be it. At least she’d tried. He wanted that for her. He wanted her to have that peace, and he would spend the rest of his days trying to fill that void in her if that were to be the case. If she came back.

  “Are you telling me to leave?” She stepped away, searching his face.

  “I’m saying you should have some answers.”

  “I have all the answers I need. I—” She pointed to her father.

  “Your answers are based on limited information.” Over her shoulder, he noticed his mother was watching them from her porch.

  “Do you want me to leave?” Her eyes were wide, her face pale. “That’s it, right. You want me to leave. We struck a deal, and now that Pops is––” She looked away, tears filling her eyes. “It really was only a deal and nothing more.”

  “I want you to be sure of the choices you make. I spoke with your father—”

  “And the two of you know me better than anyone and went ahead and decided everything without so much as asking me what I wanted.” She gave a curt nod and crossed her arms.

  “Meredith—”

  “You know what’s crazy?” She waited for him to shake his head. “I love you,” she whispered. “There is nowhere—”

  “I’m sure you think you do love me. I’ve given you a safe place to hide and a chance to have a life. But it was a limited one, here on the ranch. Now you have a chance to do whatever, go wherever, and be whoever you want to be. You need to know what it is you want. You need to be sure about who you are.”

  They stood facing each other, though neither looking the other in the eye. The air around them seemed to still, as did the animals. Yesterday, they’d made love in the sweetest way. They'd embraced their life, mourned the loss of Pops, and rejoiced in the breaths they took since surviving the bear. Today they were talking about living those lives apart. Well, Jace was. But who were either of them to decide something for the other?

  Meredith closed her eyes and tried to think beyond the heartache she was feeling. She’d just told Jace she loved him, and he’d basically Han Solo’d her. Like she’d feared he would. Who was she, he wanted to know? Today of all days, she’d woken more clear about who she was and what she wanted.

  “I know who I want to be. I’m already that person. I like who I am.” She wrapped her arms around her chest, hoping to hold her body together and hide the trembling that was about to overtake her and break her into a thousand pieces.

  “I think—”

  “You think? What about what I think? I suppose that doesn't matter now that you have your ranch. Goal achieved.”

  “You haven’t had enough of living your life to say that, Meredith. You should go.” He kicked the dirt with his toe while pulling his hat lower on his face. “In fact, I should go, too. Lots of cattle to round up, and your father is waiting.” He looked over her shoulder to the waiting limo.

  Meredith searched his face and found nothing of the Jace she’d come to know and love. This stranger was cold and distant. She stepped back and noticed his mother. He'd even had the gall to say her father was the only family she had. Didn't Marjory and Willow count? She was grieving Pops as much as the rest of them. The world seemed to close in around her, colors muted. Everything to the side of her faded away as the world before her narrowed and began to disappear.

  She swallowed and gave a small wave to Marjory. Her throat tightened. When Jace bent to pick up the lasso, groaning from the stiffness, she didn’t feel sorry for him. She’d saved his fool neck, and this was his life revelation? Normal people wanted to do more, see more, and be more. He just wanted her to go away so he could get back to work.

  She narrowed her gaze, his backside facing her. Something inside her snapped. It was so loud she jumped, and she could hear it echo on the wind. The colors of her world were tinged with the red of anger. She lifted her booted foot and, with all her might, planted it against his butt and shoved. He went sprawling into the ground face first.

  “You’re a stupid, stupid man, Jace Shepard. And you don’t deserve me.” She spun on her heel and stomped toward her father’s car.

  “What about your stuff?” he called.

  “There’s nothing here I want,” she yelled back.

  Meredith waited until the car was off Shepard property before she broke down.

  Chapter 30

  Sabrina stared at him like she wanted to do to him what they did to the turkey at thanksgiving—break his neck.

  She’d come a few days after Pop's funeral, having been out of the country, and until now he’d done a good job of avoiding her, knowing if she got him alone she’d chew his ass.

  He’d been right. His urge to sit on the fence and mope had gotten the best of him and, risking the chance, he’d come out to watch the sunrise and lick his wounds. Sabrina had found him moments later.

  “I can’t believe you let her go.” She held up one finger. “I’m going to ask this next question even though I’m confident I already know the answer. Before you told her to leave, did you by chance tell her how you felt?” She stepped close and looked at him, shoving his hat up and away from his face.

  “Ah, well…”

  “I’ll take that as a no. I’m going to also guess that part of why you didn’t was because you wanted to test her. To see if she’d come back on her own. Am I wrong?”

  Jace sighed and rubbed his hand along the wound on his side. It ached something fierce. The pain actually radiated from the center of his chest and moved outward and left him breathless all the long damn day.

  “You’re a moron. A big gig
antic stupid ass imbecile.” She crossed her arms, her foot tapping madly, causing the grass to swish slightly.

  He nodded. “Yeah, I reckoned you’d see it that way.” Frankly, he saw it that way, too. Every night he thought of at least a handful of different, better ways he could have handled that last day with Meredith.

  “How do you see it, Jace? Another relationship that didn’t work? You expected her to go so you made sure she did?”

  “Well, Rina, it was a little like playing house, to be honest.” He’d been telling himself that for the four days she’d been gone. Even though her clothes were in the closet, her dog-eared Farmer’s Almanac on the bedside table, her toothbrush in the holder. Knowing she was alive and okay was what kept him from destroying the house with his grief. Because what if she did come back? Having her stuff ready for her would say that she was welcome. Or so he hoped.

  Rina stepped close and slapped him upside the head. “If you weren’t wounded, I’d punch you in the gut for that stupid remark.”

  “Come on, tell me it wasn’t.” Please. He needed to know she hadn’t been buying time with him and his family.

  Sabrina blinked at him, owlish. “Oh, sure. Okay. How about I find you another bride, and you can start over? Maybe a blonde this time? Here, I might have some pictures.” She fumbled her phone out of her pocket.

  Jace couldn’t even imagine another woman. Each fantasy in his head starred Meredith.

  “Shit, Rina. What should I have done?” He pounded his fist into the wood rail he was sitting on.

  “Let me tell you what Meredith heard, and then you can tell me what you think you should do. Because you’ve already done the damage. Whether you fix it or not is up to you.”

  Jace nodded and waited.

  “You never told her that this was her home.”

  “Yeah, but then she would’ve stayed from guilt or comfort or whatever.”

  “Are you really that stupid? You have to stop expecting women to leave you, Jace, just because three women who weren’t right for you to begin with did.”