Anna continued to search and to pray, but as minutes turned into hours, her hopes of finding her daughter alive grew dimmer and dimmer. She hated to give in to her dark doubts, but ever since this hunt had begun, Lauren's words had been haunting her. Had the river been calling to her? Had Lauren believed the river was her way out, her escape from the pain of her life? Had Lauren taken her own life?
The wind was picking up now and Anna's boat ran into a partially submerged log, nearly throwing Anna out of the boat. She looked out over the area where the other boats were slowly searching, shining their lights, and realized she couldn't ask her neighbors to risk their lives like this.
"Clark!" she yelled loudly, making her way to the center of the river. "Come here!" Before long, the other boats clustered around her. She knew that they thought she'd found something. Instead she thanked them for their help. "I can't ask you all to stay out like this," she said, choking back tears. "It's getting cold and windy and I just can't expect you to—"
"Don't you worry about us," Barry Danner called to her. "We'll keep looking until we find her." Barry was Dorothy's brother. He and his wife, Janice, had retired to the river several years ago.
"I just don't want anyone getting hurt," she said between her tears. "And I have to tell you that there's a chance that, well—" Now she broke down completely.
"Janice, you go with Anna," Barry insisted. "You get her home. This is men's work."
"Yes," Clark agreed. "Thank you."
Soon Janice climbed into Anna's boat and took over the helm. Meanwhile, Anna hunched over and let the tears just flow. Back at the inn, Janice walked Anna up the stairs and, once they were inside, Anna confided her worst fears to Janice.
Janice hugged Anna. "Dorothy has told me a bit about Lauren's struggles. But don't give up, Anna. I've been praying all evening for Lauren and I have a feeling that God isn't finished with her earthly life yet."
Anna wiped her tears and put the kettle on. "I hope you're right." She looked out the window, over the darkened river and swallowed hard. "More than anything in this world, I hope you're right."
As they had tea, Anna felt guilty for being so weak. "I should be out there looking for Lauren too," she told Janice. "Maybe I can go back out now. I can't just—"
"No," Janice insisted. "We'll wait here. The men will handle it."
Anna stood and began pacing now, wringing her hands with each step.
"Do you have any guests now?" Janice asked. "I know this is the off-season."
"No. Not until the first weekend of February." Anna suspected Janice was just trying to distract her.
"But you have someone in Babette's house?"
"No." Anna shook her head, continuing to pace. "Not now."
"But I noticed the light on as we were coming to the inn."
Anna turned and stared at her. "What light?"
"In Babette's house."
Anna frowned. "What do you mean?"
"As we came downriver, on our way here, I saw the light on. In the kitchen."
"A light in the kitchen?" Anna was trying to process this. "But no one is . . ." She stopped pacing. "Do you think? I mean, is it possible? Babette's house isn't that far from where Jim Flanders found the canoe." Anna was already grabbing for her coat. "I'm going over there to check."
"I'll come too."
Soon Anna was pulling up to Babette's dock. Janice jumped out and tied it off and they both ran up the trail to the house. Halfway up, Anna stopped in her tracks, pointing to the dimly-lit front window where a white shrouded figure was moving.
"What—is that?"
Janice let out a little shriek. "A ghost!"
Anna grabbed Janice's hand and together they continued up to the house where, with a trembling hand, Anna beat loudly on the door. Then to her surprise and delight, Lauren opened the door. With a white comforter wrapped around her like a cape, her face was pale and drawn. "Mom!" she cried.
Anna took Lauren in her arms. "I thought you were dead."
"I tried to call the inn," Lauren said. "No one answered." Anna turned to Janice. "Will you go tell the men, please? To call off the search."
Janice nodded with wide eyes. "Yes. Of course. Oh, I'm so glad Lauren's okay!" She paused to hug both of them. "I'll go tell them now!"
"Do be careful," Anna called out happily, as she closed the door. Then she turned to Lauren. "What on earth happened?" She pointed to the comforter. "And why are you wearing that?"
"Because my clothes were soaking wet." Lauren led Anna into the living room where a pitiful fire was smoldering, "I don't even know why I took your canoe, Mom. I was so angry and confused. I honestly don't even remember getting into it or what I planned to do. But there I was just paddling away and I'm sure I wasn't being very careful. You know I've never been very good in a canoe." She sat down in an easy chair and sighed loudly. "I accidentally let go of the paddle and it was caught in the current and I tried to grab it, and the next thing I knew, I was in the water."
"Oh, dear." Anna went over to poke the fire to life, layering on some more dry kindling and a couple more small logs.
"And you know I've never been much of a swimmer."
Anna nodded, sitting down across from her, listening.
"The water was freezing cold, and it was moving pretty fast too." She looked at Anna with wide eyes. "I was so shocked, but I started to dog-paddle for shore and suddenly I was being pulled down. It must've been an undercurrent, sucking me down and turning me around. I fought to get back up to the surface, but the force of the water wouldn't let go. It was like I was stuck. Like a giant hand was holding me down."
"Oh, Lauren!"
She nodded somberly. "I really thought that was it for me. I was going to drown. I was going to die." She pulled the comforter more tightly around her chin. "But in that same moment, I realized I didn't want to die. I had thought I wanted to die before, that I had nothing to live for. But suddenly I changed my mind."
Anna studied her closely. "You really didn't want to die?"
"No." Lauren firmly shook her head. "In a split second, I realized that I really, really wanted to live. And yet there I was about to drown—for real. Isn't that ironic?"
Anna just nodded.
"So I kicked my legs and I flailed my arms, and the whole time I was praying, begging God to help me. I wanted to breathe the air again. I wanted to live." She stood now. "And when I made it to the surface I was so happy. I knew I wanted to live—really live. Can you believe it?"
Anna stood up and took Lauren in her arms again. "I can believe it, Lauren. You have so much ahead of you. So much to look forward to. Of course you want to live!"
"And you know what I think?" Lauren had tears in her eyes.
"What?"
"I think the river helped save me."
Anna just nodded.
"It was the river calling to me. And it allowed me to fall into it. And then it tried to give me what I thought I wanted."
"By holding you down?"
"Yes. But then it gave me a second chance."
Anna smiled. "The river is a good one for that. Second chances."
"I honestly don't know how I made it to shore," Lauren continued. "I can't even remember exactly. All I remember is that when I climbed out I was freezing cold. It was just getting dark and I saw this house up here and I climbed up the hill and kind of just collapsed on the porch for a while. When I came too, I was shivering and shaking from the cold. So I banged on the door, but no one came. And, well, I guess I broke in."
"You broke in?" Anna hadn't noticed any damage.
"Actually, I found a key under the flowerpot." She made a sheepish smile.
Anna nodded, remembering where she'd hidden a key.
"Do you think I'll get in trouble?" Lauren looked around the pretty room. "It's such a pretty house. Do you know who owns it?"
Anna chuckled. "As a matter of fact . . . I do."
"Who?"
"I do."
Lauren blinked. "What?"
"I own this house. It used to belong to Babette. I'm sure I brought you here once when you were a girl. Don't you remember?"
Lauren shook her head.
Now Anna explained how Babette had left it to her and how she sometimes rented it to vacationers. "But most of the time it's just empty." She ran a finger over the dusty side table. "I suppose I should consider selling it . . . someday."
"Don't sell it," Lauren told her. "It's a wonderful house."
"No, I won't sell it. Not anytime soon. Sarah loves it too." Anna went over to the window. Looking out over the river, she saw the lights of a boat pulling into the dock. Probably Clark.
"You know, Mom, it feels like both the river and this house saved me today. Does that sound ridiculous?"
Anna turned to look at her daughter. "No, it doesn't sound ridiculous at all. I think that this river and this house, and perhaps the well wishes of Babette up there in heaven, combined with a number of people praying and searching for you down here, as well as God himself . . . were all at work to save you today." She smiled. "And I'm so thankful they did, Lauren. Infinitely thankful."
29
In the days following Lauren's near-drowning, Anna got to know her daughter in a whole new way. For the first time that Anna could remember, Lauren was being painfully honest about herself, her life, and many of the bad choices she'd made along the way. Anna had tried to conceal her shock when Lauren admitted to having had an affair ten years ago.
"So I guess it's not fair to blame Donald for everything," Lauren conceded as they folded laundry together.
"Did you know that Sarah's aware of Donald's infidelities?"
Lauren paused from folding a towel. "Well, I guess that doesn't surprise me."
"I think it was upsetting for her."
"I doubt she's too worried about it now."
"Why not?"
Lauren laughed. "Haven't you heard?"
"What?" Anna paused from ironing a pillowcase.
"Our Sarah has her first boyfriend."
"Oh . . . ?" Anna felt a small rush of worry.
"Oh, yeah. She thinks I don't know about it. But I heard her talking on the phone the night before I left. His name is Zane Emerson. And Sarah is smitten."
"Have you met him?"
"No. I think his family is new to town."
"Do you know anything about him? How old he is? Where he lives?"
Lauren laughed. "You sound like a mother hen."
"Well, I do feel protective of her. Sarah's been through a lot." Anna sat down the steaming iron.
"Sarah is a smart girl. She knows how to take care of herself."
Anna wasn't so sure. Even so, she knew there was no point in upsetting Lauren about this. So far, Lauren seemed to be getting calmer and steadier each day. And, really, what was so concerning about Sarah's first boyfriend? After all, she was going on sixteen and kids seemed to grow up faster these days. Still, Anna felt concerned. And she hoped that Donald was doing a better job of being a father than he'd done of being a husband.
To Anna's relief, Lauren seemed in no hurry to get home. More and more she seemed to be settling into the slow, easy pace of life on the river. And she was helping out too. Sometimes it seemed like more work to show Lauren how to perform a simple task than to just do it herself, but Anna believed it was worth the effort. As business in the inn picked up, Anna discovered that Lauren was gaining more confidence, both in her ability to manage certain housekeeping chores and in herself.
As spring vacation drew near, a time when the inn was usually fully booked, Anna asked Lauren about inviting Sarah to come out for a visit. "I thought the two of you might enjoy staying in Babette's house," Anna explained. "It would be a good chance for you to get a little better acquainted with your daughter."
Lauren's eyes lit up. "You know, that's not a bad idea."
"Do you want to call her?"
Now Lauren frowned. "It might go better if you call her, Mom. The two of you seem to have a better connection."
Anna nodded. "Sometimes it's like that between the generations. I always felt more at ease around my grandmother than my mother."
After dinner, Anna called Sarah. First she visited with her a bit, then she told her about how well Lauren was doing. Then she explained her idea about having Sarah and Lauren staying in Babette's house.
"I already have plans for spring vacation."
"Oh . . . ?"
"Yeah. A bunch of us are going to a concert."
"A concert? Wouldn't that be a one-day event?"
"Actually, it's a series of concerts. It'll be really cool. We're going to camp at this park."
"We . . . ?"
"Oh, you know, Kelly and me, and some of our other friends from school. Then there will be all these other kids there too. We'll all just hang out and listen to music and stuff."
"And your father knows about this?"
"Sure."
"I've read about some of these concert gatherings, Sarah. Often there are illegal drugs present and—"
"Oh, Grandma!" Sarah's voice was full of disappointment. "I thought that you, of all people, trusted me more than that."
"I do trust you, Sarah. Completely. But I worry about other kids . . . I'm not sure I trust them."
"Well, I'll be with my friends, Grandma. You can trust them. They're good kids. Like me."
"Yes . . ." Anna said slowly. "I'm sure they're good kids. And I know you're a good kid. But my concern is just that . . . you're still a kid, Sarah. And I suppose it's selfish on my part, but I just don't want you to grow up too quickly."
Sarah laughed. "Don't worry, I won't. And I'll tell you what. If it's okay for Kelly to come out there with me, we'll both come, after the event is over. Will that make you happy?"
"What makes me happiest is knowing that you are well and happy, Sarah. And, of course, I would love to see you. And you know that Kelly is welcome. Any of your friends are welcome. Well, as long as we have room."
"You are the best grandmother in the universe!"
"Well . . ."
"But I have to go."
"Oh . . ." Anna said knowingly. It was a Friday night. "Do you have a date with Zane?"
"How did you know?"
"A little bird told me."
"I can't believe Mom figured that one out." She sounded honestly surprised.
"Your mom is getting better every day, Sarah. I really think you'll barely recognize her when you get here."
"Well, I'll have to see that to believe it."
"Then you should see your mother in less than two weeks, sweetheart. And, please, do take care and be smart!"
As it turned out, Sarah did not see her mother, or her grandmother, in two weeks. To Anna and Lauren's disappointment, she never made it out to the river during spring break at all. And, although her apology sounded sincere, her excuse was flimsy. "Kelly is putting together a surprise birthday party for her boyfriend and I promised to help," she told Anna on the night before she was supposed to arrive.
"I will miss you," Anna told her.
"I really am sorry."
"I'm just glad you made it home from your concert camp out in one piece," Anna said.
"Yeah . . . it wasn't exactly like I thought it would be." Sarah's tone was hard to decipher.
"Was it a disappointment?"
"No . . . not exactly. Just different." Then she claimed she needed to go and, once again, Anna felt cut off and distant. When she explained Sarah's change of plans to Lauren, she seemed only mildly surprised.
"You know Sarah has a mind of her own, Mom. Better get used to it."
"I'm thankful she has a mind of her own. I'll just miss her."
Lauren seemed dismayed. "But now that Sarah's not coming, I suppose I won't be moving over to Babette's house tomorrow."
Anna considered this. "Well, I don't see any reason for you not to go over there, if you want. That is, if you're all right about being alone."
"Really?" Lauren brightened. "You don
't mind if I go over there?"
"Why not? You've already cleaned the place up and freshened the linens and even put in some food. Why not enjoy it?"
"Thanks, Mom."
"And if you have time, maybe you can start working on the gardens." Anna had already pointed out some maintenance that the lavender and other plants needed. Of course, she'd assumed Sarah would be there to help too. But perhaps this would be a good test for Lauren. What and how much would she be able to do on her own?
"And, don't worry, I'll still come back and help you over here too," Lauren assured her as Anna and Clark helped her to load her bags into a boat that evening. "I'll make sure to be here in time to do lunches and I'll stick around until after dinner to help clean up too."
Anna hugged her. "Thank you, Lauren. You don't know how much I've appreciated your help."
Clark took Anna's hand as they watched the little boat cutting through the smooth surface of the water. It was hard to believe only six weeks had passed since that awful night when Anna had felt certain she'd lost her only daughter. How was it possible for a woman to grow up so much, in such a short amount of time?
"Do you think she can handle it okay on her own?" Clark asked as they walked back to the house.
"I think so." Anna nodded. "And even if she has difficulty getting back here to help me, I don't think I'll really mind. As long as she stays on track over there. Mostly I just want her to succeed, you know?"
He squeezed her hand. "I do."
Several teens were horsing around in the play area. They were some local kids Anna had hired to help at the inn this week. They came each morning in time to clean up after breakfast then worked all day until after dinner. So far the kids were having such a good time three of them had already signed on to return for summer. Working at Shining Waters Inn was becoming the premium summer job in the area for young people. And Anna loved having them here.
"Maybe we should offer to hire Sarah and her friends this summer," Anna said as they went inside.
"I see where you're going with this." Clark closed the door. "You think if they were all on the payroll, it would be easier to keep your granddaughter nearby."
"Is that too manipulative?" Anna sighed. "I want Sarah to visit us because she wants to . . . not because we pressure her."
River's Call Page 24
