Clark hugged her. "I know you're disappointed she didn't come. But I also know how much Sarah loves you, Anna. Even if she goes through a rough patch of adolescence for a while, she'll be back with you before long. Count on it."
Anna nodded. "I'm not naïve enough to believe that Sarah will escape adolescence unscathed. I just hope she fares better than her mother did." She chuckled. "In some ways it seems like Lauren has barely emerged from her adolescence . . . it's been a long time coming. Even so, I'm glad she did."
Lauren's progress seemed to be ongoing and permanent. Not only did she keep her promise to continue helping at the inn during the remainder of spring vacation, she volunteered to take on even more responsibilities as the season kicked more fully into gear. It seemed as if she couldn't learn things fast enough. And new challenges no longer intimidated her. By May, Lauren was helping with the business side of things as well as handling much of the shopping too. She continued living in Babette's house and seemed to enjoy her independence. And she even grew fond of gardening.
"I love Babette's house," she told Anna one afternoon. They were going over some bookkeeping details for the upcoming summer. "But if you need to use the house for paying guests, I'll be fine moving back here."
"I don't think that's necessary." Anna removed her reading glasses. "Why not just plan to stay put for the duration of summer?"
"I can hardly believe it, but I honestly think I could live there happily forever. Every morning I wake up and look out over the river and, whether it's sunny and sparkling or gray and gloomy, I just feel so glad to see it. Being in that house, living next to the river, caring for the flowers, I just love it, Mom."
Anna smiled. "Do you know how happy that would make Babette?"
"And you too?"
"Of course, Lauren. It makes me very, very happy." Lauren peered curiously at her. "But you don't look very, very happy, Mom. Is something wrong?"
Anna paused to consider her next words. "The truth is, I'm starting to feel worried about Sarah."
Lauren frowned. "Why?"
"Last night I called her. We didn't talk for long . . . and I didn't want to mention it to you, but it worries me. She sounds different."
"Of course she's different, Mom. She's a teenager."
"It was something beyond that, Lauren. And when I asked her about coming here for summer, and if she planned to bring Kelly and her other friends, you know my idea to have them work here and earn money, well, Sarah didn't sound terribly interested."
Lauren looked concerned now. "That is different. Do you think she's actually considering not coming?"
Anna simply nodded.
"Sarah was usually counting the days until school ended by this time. She'd be all packed and ready to go two weeks before summer vacation began. And I really thought she'd be thrilled to have her friends come here with her—that was such a great plan, Mom."
"Apparently it wasn't great enough."
"I don't understand this at all. It really doesn't sound like her."
"I know . . . like I said, she seemed different. Our conversation felt uncomfortable, as if we weren't really connecting. I finally asked if anything was wrong, but she was quick to claim that everything was fine. So I asked about her dad and she acted as if nothing had changed with him either. I even asked her if she needed you to come home."
Lauren nodded. "I would go home . . . if Sarah wanted me."
"She said she doesn't need that either." Anna rocked the pen between her fingers. "But I'm not so sure."
"Should I call her?"
"I don't think it would hurt."
"When I get back home after dinner tonight, I will definitely call her. And I'll offer to go home . . . if she wants me there. And maybe even if she doesn't." Lauren ran her fingers through her shoulder-length, golden-brown hair, now tinged with gray. It was no longer that flashy platinum blond, but Anna felt it actually made Lauren seem younger and softer somehow. "Somehow I will try to find out what's going on with her."
As it turned out, Lauren had even more difficulty getting through to Sarah. Anna wasn't particularly surprised when Lauren reported on her phone call. Just disappointed.
"I don't know what to do with her," Lauren confessed as they cleaned up after breakfast the next morning. "She insisted that she didn't need me to come home. And she pointed out that if I came home, Donald would have to move out." Lauren sighed loudly. "As if I was forcing him out of his own home. Can you imagine?"
"It is awkward."
"So do I stay here? Or do I go home?"
"I honestly don't know, Lauren."
"This generation of kids is different," Lauren said. "They seem to be a lot more independent than I was."
"Independence can be good." Anna dried a platter.
"But I think it can be bad too." Lauren set a saucepan in the dish drainer. "And I'm afraid it's all my fault, Mom." She turned to Anna with tear-filled eyes. "If I'd been a better parent, if I'd tried harder . . . I know Sarah must blame me for a lot of her—"
"It does no good to throw blame around."
"Sarah said she wasn't even sure if she even wanted to come out here this summer," Lauren confessed. "I asked her if it was because of me. I told her that if my presence here was the problem, I would go home." She used a dishtowel to wipe her tears. "I don't want to go back there, Mom. But I will do it if I have to—I will do it for Sarah."
"Oh, Lauren." Anna felt her own eyes filling with tears now.
"I thought maybe I was the reason—that she didn't want me to be here while she was here. But she told me that had nothing to do with it."
"Did she tell you why she didn't want to come?" Suddenly Anna wondered if it was because of her—had she been too pushy, too intrusive? She knew teens needed their privacy. Maybe Anna had crossed over some invisible line.
"She said I wouldn't understand."
Anna just shook her head. "I guess all we can do is be patient and pray for her to come to her senses, Lauren. Maybe a few days of being stuck there in Pine Ridge will make her think twice. She's always enjoyed her time here. And with the other teen workers, she'd be sure to have fun. Plus, there's Clark's new boat and the ocean fishing expeditions. Sarah liked that so much last summer."
"I just don't know what to say, Mom." Lauren set the tea towel down. "Except that I'm sorry. I told Sarah I was sorry too. I still can't help but think it's my fault. I wish I could go back and do everything differently now. It wouldn't be easy, but I'd do it—for Sarah's sake."
"All you can do is keep moving forward, Lauren. Both for you and for Sarah. You need to keep doing your best. In time, Sarah will come around. I know she will."
"She kept making a point of telling me that she was almost sixteen and that she was going to get her driver's license," Lauren shook her head, "acting as if that meant she was all grown-up. But since when is sixteen grown-up? I just don't understand."
Anna didn't really understand either. But she knew there wasn't anything she could do about it. Just like Grandma Pearl would say . . . everyone has to paddle her own canoe. Anna just hoped that Sarah's canoe wasn't about to be swept over a waterfall.
30
A couple of weeks into June, and not long before Sarah's birthday, Donald called the inn to ask if Sarah was there. "Here?" Anna grew hopeful. "Is she coming here, Donald?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I mean she took off and she didn't tell me where she was going." He sounded irritated.
Anna sat down on her bed. "When did she leave?"
"I'm not sure."
"What do you mean you're not sure?"
"Well, she and I got into a big fight a few nights ago. The next morning I went to work, as usual, and I figured she was off with her friends, probably trying to teach me a lesson. I guess I sort of came and went . . . just like we always do. It wasn't until Mabel said something that I realized Sarah wasn't even here."
"May I ask what you fought about, Donald?
"
"Does it matter?"
"It might."
"Fine. If you must know, it was over my girlfriend. She was here at the house and Sarah didn't much like it."
"Oh . . ."
"Anyway, I reminded Sarah that this was my house too, and that I'm the one who goes to work and pays the bills and that I can have people over here if I want to."
"I see . . ."
"Don't judge me!" he snapped. "You don't know what it's like around here. First Lauren falls apart on me. Now Sarah's acting like this. You don't know what I've been through."
"No, I don't know what you've been through, but mostly I'm concerned about Sarah, Donald. What makes you think she might've come this way?"
"Because she's not with Kelly. And that's where I figured she'd be."
"Is it possible that Kelly is simply helping to hide Sarah, to get back at you?"
"I know for a fact Sarah is not there. I just spoke to Kelly's mother. She assured me that they haven't seen Sarah for a couple of days."
"So Sarah's been missing for how many days?"
"Two or three."
"Well, she's certainly not here." Anna stood and stared out the window. "And we haven't heard from her."
"Well, if you do hear from her, could you please let me know?"
"Of course. But, in the meantime, what do you intend to do about this?"
"I guess I should call the police."
A chill ran through Anna. "Yes . . . you need to do that."
"Although I'm not sure there's much they can do. If she doesn't want to be found, that is."
"Why would she not want to be found?"
"Because I think she's run off with that no-good boyfriend of hers."
"Zane?"
"Yeah. I went by his place and he was gone too. No one seems to know or even care about where he's gone off to either."
"And he's been gone several days as well?"
"It sounds like it. He's older than Sarah. Just graduated and I suppose he thinks he's grown up enough to take off and take Sarah with him." Now Donald let loose with some off-color language.
"You really think he and Sarah . . ." Anna took in a deep breath.
"Yeah. But that's not even the worst of it."
"It gets worse?" She felt shaky inside.
"You bet. This Zane is a druggie."
"Oh, Donald! What makes you say that?"
"All you have to do is to look at how he dresses and his long, shaggy hair to know it's true. I'm sure that everyone in town thinks so too. Why Sarah ever took up with someone like that is way beyond me."
"Oh, dear!" Anna felt sickened.
"Well, I better call the police and tell them to start looking for her."
"Please, Donald, let us know as soon as you find out anything. We'll do the same." She hung up the phone and went out to the living room where Clark was just bringing in a box of groceries. Holding back her tears as she set down the box, she tried to calmly tell him about Sarah. But before she could finish, she was in his arms and sobbing.
"Is it possible she's coming here?" he asked after she'd finally managed to pour out the whole story.
"Oh, I wish she'd come here." Anna was pacing now, trying to think of a plan, wishing there was something she could do, but knowing it was out of her hands.
"I'll finish unloading the groceries," he told her. "I expect you'll need to tell Lauren."
"Yes . . . Lauren." Anna felt a heavy sadness as she went to look for Lauren. How was she going to break this to her? And especially after Lauren had been making such great progress? What if this set her back? Anna knew that Lauren blamed herself for some of Sarah's recent problems. How would she react to this?
Anna found Lauren with some of the workers. Waiting until Lauren was finished explaining the new work roster to them, Anna asked her to take a walk.
"Is something wrong?" Lauren asked as Anna led them down the trail.
Anna just nodded. "It's Sarah."
"Oh, Mom." Lauren stopped walking and grabbed Anna's arm. "Please, just tell me—tell me now." Her eyes were full of fear.
Anna quickly explained about Sarah's fight with Donald and how she was now missing. "And Donald thinks she ran off with Zane." Anna took in a deep breath and waited.
"Oh, no . . ." Lauren slowly shook her head, slowly started to walk again.
"Donald is contacting the police."
"Oh, dear!"
"I don't know what else to do . . . ." Anna felt fresh tears coming. "This just breaks my heart, Lauren."
"Oh, Mom." Now Lauren put her arms around Anna, hugging her tightly. "Don't you worry about Sarah. I have a very strong feeling that she is just fine."
Anna blinked at her. "You do?"
Lauren nodded. "I absolutely do."
Anna retrieved a handkerchief from her sweater pocket and used it to wipe her tears. "What makes you so sure?" she asked quietly.
Lauren smiled. "Because Sarah is like you, Mom."
"How so?"
"She is strong and resilient. She's stubborn and independent. I realize she's not quite sixteen—and I hate that she's done this—but she is really a lot older than sixteen. In some ways, she is a lot older than I am. At least she used to be. I might be catching up with her now."
Anna patted Lauren on the back. "You most definitely are." Now she took in a deep breath. "There's something else you need to know."
"What?"
Now Anna told Lauren what Donald had said about Zane being into drugs. "It doesn't sound like Sarah to me," she confessed.
"What exactly did Donald say about Zane?" Lauren asked. "Does he know this for sure?"
Anna thought hard then explained what Donald had said about Zane's appearance.
Lauren's mouth twisted to one side. "So Donald is assuming that just because Zane looks like a hippie that he's using drugs?"
Anna considered this. "I suppose that's possible."
"That sounds like Donald. He's always jumping to conclusions about people. Did he think Sarah was using drugs too? She's been dressing like a hippie for years now. But she's never given us any reason to believe she was using drugs. Her grades have always been good." Lauren frowned. "What do you think, Mom?"
Anna shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'd like to believe that our Sarah is too smart for something like that. After all, she saw what happened to you."
"She did. And she hated it." Lauren sighed. "Sarah's always been the sensible one. Very mature for her age. I'd say that life made her that way, but the truth is, I think she was born like that. Even as a small child, she used to tell me what to do . . . like she wanted to be the parent . . . and I was the kid. She's got a good head on her shoulders."
"I've always felt Sarah was an old soul too," Anna admitted.
"I don't believe she's using drugs, Mom. I really don't."
Anna nodded. "Then I don't either. Even so, she's still missing."
"Sarah has a lot of pent-up frustration. I know it's probably my fault. Here she was with all this maturity inside of her and yet she was still just a kid. Meanwhile I was the adult and I acted like a spoiled child. You know how hard that must've been on her?"
Anna pressed her lips together and nodded. "You think that's why she left?"
"I think she decided it was time for her to call the shots." "A lot of kids seem to be doing that these days." Anna had read articles about this very thing in Newsweek. She'd heard other parents' stories. The seventies just seemed to be an era when people did whatever they wanted . . . usually without even considering the consequences.
"Sarah is going to be just fine, Mom. I know it." Lauren made a shaky smile. "Remember what you used to tell me. Sarah has to paddle her own canoe." She shook her head. "And I'm sure she can do a better job of paddling a canoe than me. Unlike her inept mother, Sarah probably won't tip her canoe over in the middle of the river."
"You're right," Anna agreed. "Sarah is adept in a canoe."
"I'll bet that she shows up here," Lauren assured her. "Probabl
y by the end of the week."
"I hope you're right." Anna reached for Lauren's hand and turned them to face the river. "Just the same, let's pray for her. Let's ask God to watch over her, to protect her, to guide her
back home." And that was what they did, there on the banks of the Siuslaw. They prayed that Sarah Pearl would safely find her way home. "Really, that's all we can do right now," Anna admitted after they said "amen." Then, as they continued to walk, Anna was reminded of her ancestors. Certainly they'd been through some very hard times, and yet here she was— she and Lauren—descendants of a very troubled people.
"You know that your great-great-grandmother lived on the banks of the Siuslaw," Anna told Lauren as they walked through the wooded area. "Her name was Little Flower, but it was later changed to Anna."
"Like you." Lauren bent down to pick a buttercup, handing it to her mother.
"Yes." Anna smelled the tiny bloom. "Little Flower lost both her parents to smallpox when she was only three years old."
"Who took care of her?"
"Relatives."
"The smallpox epidemic was brought here by the moving man."
"That's the white man, right?"
"That's right. Little Flower's life was relatively calm for a few years, but when she was about Sarah's age, she and her people were forced off their land and sent to the reservation." Anna told about how the Siuslaw were herded like animals, forced to walk for days and days on the beach, and finally placed on the reservation up north. "The ones who survived were placed there for reeducation," Anna explained. "That meant they were supposed to go from being Indian to being white. The women and girls were taught to cook and sew like white women and to speak English. The men mostly died." Now she told about how her great-grandfather was shot for trying to find food. "Although many of them were starving, they were not allowed to hunt or fish or gather their native foods."
Lauren turned to Anna. "I never knew this . . . not any of it."
"Then it's time you knew." Anna continued to tell her of the hardships of their ancestors and how, finally, the few surviving Native Americans were given parcels of land. "It was a small token compared to the land they used to occupy. And it was only made available to those who knew how to file a land claim. Thankfully, my great-grandmother and her sister figured it out." Anna smiled. "We come from a long line of smart women."
River's Call Page 25
