I return to the kitchen. “I’m going to go change. I’ll be back.” Everyone shrewdly smiles and nods as I make a fast retreat. I quickly grab a change of clothes, my makeup bag and search for the bathroom down the hall. Easily finding it, I dash in and lock the door. The bathroom is spacious and brightly lit without the lights on. It’s a lilac color and smells like the flower, too.
I sit down on the edge of the large, whirlpool bathtub and close my eyes. How do I face him? I’ll have to eventually since I’m with him the whole weekend. And, I did promise to move in with him. We’ll get past this. But, then what? Do we keep having this argument again and again, or do I just let it go, not to ever think about it again? Do I just go on the Pill now and forget about ever becoming a mother? Maybe this is God’s way of saying I shouldn’t. I’d probably be a shitty mother like my own was. She was great up until that one day she took off and never looked back. Why didn’t she love Jared and me enough to stay, or at least to stay in our lives? No phone calls. No cards. Nothing. Does she even know we’re still alive?
Sighing, I take my lounge pants off and put my jeans on. Then I pull my shirt up over my head and change into an olive green button-up, cotton, collared shirt with silver buttons. I find my hairbrush and take my ponytail out.
There’s a hard knock on the bathroom door and I drop my brush. Shit. Can I not be startled by every damned sound? I’m jumpier than a depressed cricket on a window ledge. Damn Rod and his analogies.
“Becks, can I come in?”
I huff as I brush my hair, “No.”
“Becks, come on. I need to talk to you.”
“I’m busy, Finn. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
I hear him sigh heavily before bounding down the stairs. He actually respected my wishes for once. What a revelation.
I add some brown eyeliner, some blush, and concealer underneath my eyes to hide the puffiness. It doesn’t really work, though. I sigh and gather my things.
After dumping them off in Finn’s room, I slowly make my way downstairs to the nearby chattering in the kitchen and dining room. Simone’s voice, shrill and on the defensive, Chrishelle’s mocking sneers, Julie’s sing-songing, and Ricky’s laugh mingle together in a comfortable harmony. Now I suddenly feel awkward. Like an outsider. Ricky probably feels more at home here than I do.
As soon as I hit the gray-tiled foyer floor, Finn is in front of me, blocking my path with a hand on the banister and the other ready to catch my arm if I try to walk past him, his big, brown eyes already pleading with me. How does he do that?
He indomitably declares, “We need to talk.”
I see he changed into jeans. I’ve always loved the way he looks wearing jeans. The denim showcases his perfect ass. My favorite part is the sound of the zipper as I pull it down.
Focus, Beckett. I have to lick my lips before retorting, “We already did talk.”
Finn swipes his hand through his sandy brown hair before he reaches for my hand; however, I yank it away and tuck my hand into my back pocket. He drops his arm and impatiently sighs. “Becks, I don’t want to fight. I hate it. We hardly ever do.”
“I hate it, too, but you were…less than charming.” I frown at him and glance toward the dining room to see if we have an audience.
He grabs my arm, thus pulling my hand out of my pocket, tugging me closer to him. “Baby, I… I’m sorry.”
Sighing, my gaze flickers from the doorway to his face and I entreat, “Let’s talk about this later. I don’t want to argue with you anymore right now.”
“After dinner.” He quickly shakes his head. “Not to argue. I mean for us to talk. We’ll go for a walk or drive. Please?” His voice drops to a low and sexy entreaty.
Once again sucked into his alluring and inescapable orbit, I crisply nod, but focus on the olive green wall, avoiding his sharp stare. With the hand he had parked on the banister, he grips my chin, making me look up at him. He determinedly declares, “I love you.”
I try to keep from peering into his eyes, but he moves my head with his, this time forcing me to look at him. “Becks, we really do need to talk… I’ve been thinking.” About?
“Since our fight? Really?” I snap sarcastically.
“Actually, yes. After dinner, okay? We need to be alone.”
Swatting at his hand, I glare at him as I acidly retort, “We tried that.” I move to walk into the dining room, but he grabs my arm.
“Damn it. Just go with me, okay?” He jerks me to him and kisses me as Chrissie walks into the room.
“Aww. Look who made up. Great job, baby bro.” I automatically pull away from his mouth and run a hand nervously through my hair, giving Chrissie a stiff smile. He’d better not think we made up and everything is fine.
As I watch her leave the room, Finn leans close to my ear and whispers, “Yeah. We really do need to be alone.” He firmly takes my hand and leads me into the dining room.
When we walk in, Ricky, seated at the long table, can’t help the complacent grin he bestows us, particularly aimed at me. Finn walks us over to the chairs next to him. Of course. Those two most definitely were separated at birth. No lie. Ricky keeps staring at me as we sit, instantly unnerving me more so. I want to know what Finn told him when they were out. Ricky must hate me for the demands I pile upon his best friend. I’m sure he, like Morgan does to me, tells Finn he’s better off dumping my ass.
Finn reaches under the table and picks my hand up from my lap, sliding his fingers between mine, pressing them tightly together. I know he’s staring at me, but I keep my gaze concentrated on the steaming bowl of corn in front of my plate. Finn tugs at my hand and I sense him leaning toward me, however, Ricky interrupts his quest and he pulls away from me to answer him.
Simone takes the seat across from me. As she does, she glances at Finn, who is talking to Ricky, and then to me. Right off, she notices Finn’s arm against me and surmises that we’re holding hands. Her blue eyes sparkle, but she warily smiles at me, cautious of not being too overzealous like her mom. I give her a trifling smile in return. “Good folding job,” I compliment as a ploy to distract her.
“Thanks. It’s an important life skill to have.” She laughs and continues to watch us.
“You’ll have to teach me. I wouldn’t want to get through life not knowing your secret.”
“I’ll teach you and then you can fold your own napkins for yours and Wilderness’ table.” Finn looks over to her at the mention of his name. “What now, Sims? What stories are you making up about me?” I remember that he had teased Pam similarly at Chimborazo.
“Nothing that you haven’t already heard,” she bluntly replies with an eye roll.
“Yeah, right.” Finn turns to Ricky and laughs at something that his BFF said to him. Finn’s fingers rub mine, so I know he’s at least partially with me.
Julie starts passing the food around as Chrissie takes her seat next to Simone and Julie. I let go of Finn’s hand as Simone passes me the mashed potatoes. I take a small scoopful and then give them to Finn. Simone then hands me a tray of broiled cod.
After all the food is passed around, Julie leads all of us into a prayer. Everyone except for me makes the sign of the cross. Again, I feel left out. When will I ever fit in?
Julie announces, “There are a couple things I wanted to talk to you about. First, Simone, why don’t you tell everybody what you and I recently did?”
She finishes chewing around her sudden grin. “Are you sure I should bring it up now?” Julie readily nods and we all turn to stare at Simone, eagerly awaiting her news. “Well, Mom and I were playing around on the Internet one night and—”
Ricky interrupts, “Oh, no. That’s never a good thing for you to do. Did you get a job as a topless waitress or something?” Everyone snickers and Simone scowls at him.
“Gross, no. Shut up, Officer Tesco. Anyway, Mom and I found this website. Well, we both became ordained ministers…for free. It’s actually legal and legit.”
“Why would you do t
hat?” Chrissie asks and looks at her mother and then to her sister. She then skims her gaze to Finn as it dawns on her. Knowingly smiling, she slowly says, “Oh… Can you guess why, little brother?” She smirks as her eyes widen and she shakes her head.
Finn takes a guarded, deep breath. “Really?”
Julie replies, “Yep. We can even perform funerals, baptisms, vow renewals or whatever.”
“Are you serious?” Chrishelle asks her mother. “Why would you honestly do that?” Julie and Simone collectively grin, acutely regarding Finn and me, similar to vultures honing in on their prey.
Oh, shit. This is not good.
“So that is it, then,” Chrissie says. “You really did do it so you can marry your son off?”
“Yes!” Simone clasps her hands together like she’s at a Pearl Jam concert. “Surprise!”
Finn whips his head over to his sister. “What do you mean ‘surprise’?”
Julie says, “Well, Simone and I were thinking that maybe one of us could, you know, perform a marriage ceremony for you two while you’re here.”
What. The. Fuck?
“Huh?” Finn asks, totally thrown off. I peer at him and his abysmal scowl shows his utter confusion, as does mine; although, I’m not nearly as confused as he seems to be.
Simone offers, “We know it wouldn’t be legal right now since you haven’t filed for a marriage license, but we could still perform a ceremony.”
Julie excitedly imparts, “We could also perform it and fudge the date when we sign the license!”
Shaking his head, Ricky covers his ears and shouts, “I can’t be hearing this!”
Finn angles his head and irritably rolls his eyes. “Oh, that’s a good way to start off a marriage, by not making it even legal!”
Simone says, “We wanted to do this so maybe you can go back to Virginia on Monday and apply for the license. Virginia is so much easier than Delaware because there isn’t a waiting period and no blood test. Nonresidents of Delaware have to wait 96 hours from the time they apply. All we’d have to do is register with the city as officiates.”
I gingerly look at Finn and then at Julie and to Simone. “Jeez, you guys have really researched and prepared for this.”
“Yes, we have!” Julie beams happily. “So, Happy Easter, Finn and Hadley!”
“Whoa, hold on.” Finn drops his fork noisily onto his plate. “Who says we’re doing this?”
“We do, big bro. Wilderness, you know you want to marry Hadley. We all know it. Just admit it already and let’s get this over with.”
He glares at her. “Bite one, Simone.” If that doesn’t pronounce, “I don’t,” then I’m not sure what else would.
Julie almost bounces in her chair. “Come on, Finn! We’ll even drive down to Richmond Monday morning and you two can apply that morning. We can have you married by lunch.”
Angling his head toward his mother, he scathingly replies, “Yeah, because I really want to spend our honeymoon in the backseat of my car in a damn parking lot.”
Crossing my arms, I softly clear my throat, trying to curb his vitriol. Finn circumspectly glances at me, but I unwittingly look away from him and out the window as Simone observes our silent exchange.
Chrissie states, “Just do it, already, Finn. Damn. We all know you two are meant to be together forever. Just marry Hadley.”
“Not you, too?” he fumingly barks and I tear my gaze from the window back to him. His clenched jaw wavers as he deliberates his glare on his mother.
Ricky laughs. “They got you good, Wilder! I don’t think you can say no now!”
Simone leans on the table and pleads with her brother. “Come on, Wilderness! Get down on your knee and ask her right now! You don’t need a ring this minute. You can go get one after we eat.” She gleefully grins at him. “Then you can have your honeymoon upstairs while we all watch a movie!” Everyone, except for Finn and I laugh. I don’t want to be in that bed right now with him. This is so awkward for me. Now he’s going to reject me in front of his family. That’ll be extra special.
I peer up at Finn and unexpectedly see an odd look in his eyes as they flicker around the table. He looks torn. About what? Starting another fight with me? I’m not saying a word this time. I already know how he feels.
“If you’re going to propose to her right now, wait until I get my camera!” Julie gets up and leaves the room. “Don’t do it without me!” she elatedly yells from somewhere outside the dining room.
“Fuck,” Finn mutters down into his plate. Fabulous. This situation is worse than I originally thought.
“Finn, do it!” Simone orders with a smile that could brighten a cosmic black hole. “You know you want to so much! It’s killing you not to marry your woman! You seriously want to!”
“Shut up, Simone.” Finn growls warningly. Yep. Way worse.
Julie runs back into the room. “Okay. Finn, go ahead!” I close my eyes, wishing I really weren’t there.
“I’m not doing it here, so just sit down,” Finn replies irritably.
“Oooh! Does that mean that you are going to?” Simone squeals.
“Simone! Shut the hell up!” he yells at her. From the corner of my eye, I see him briefly glance at me and then down to his plate again.
“I think he’s actually going to do it!” Simone whispers boisterously to her mom. “He just doesn’t want to do it in front of all of us!”
“Leave him alone!” Chrissie interjects.
Julie says, “Finn, just so you know, we can drive down anytime to do it.”
“Mother,” he gripes and takes a drink of his water. I really want to be somewhere else. The trunk of my car sounds nice right now.
“What, Finn? Don’t you want your sister or me to marry you?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in all 50 states,” Ricky quips.
“Good one,” Chrissie praises him.
Julie counters, “You know what I mean, Finn.”
Finn stoically sits back in his chair, his hands balled into fists, but his voice is deceitfully calm. I know the rage storming through him from the way his body looks about to strike, his increased breathing, his stiff jaw, and the way his eyes dart around the room. “First of all, only a priest can perform a Catholic marriage. Secondly, the marriage has to take place in a Catholic church, unless the bishop gives special permission. Thirdly, we’d have to take classes and do a retreat before we get married. And fourthly, it’s still technically Lent. Marriages aren’t performed during Lent and up until eight days after Easter. So, no. You can’t marry us. Thanks for the offer anyway.” Finished with his blurb and satisfied with the gaping looks on his mom and sisters, Finn picks up his fork and takes a bite of his fish. He actually knows all that about getting married? Why?
Julie frowns and then smiles. “You’re really going to get married Catholic?”
Finn looks over at her, bemused. “If we ever do, why wouldn’t we?”
She shrugs. “I guess it just surprises me a little.”
“Why? You raised me Catholic. Why would it surprise you?”
“I don’t know. It just does, I guess. I don’t really practice it anymore since splitting with your dad.”
“Well, they do frown upon divorces just a tad,” Finn retorts.
We’re all quiet. I really want a rogue asteroid to take us all out.
Julie clears her throat. “I wanted to talk to everyone about something else. I didn’t know how to approach this, yet I can’t hold it off anymore. I’ve already talked to Leighton. I didn’t want to talk about this, being a holiday, but it can’t be helped and I’m sorry.” This doesn’t sound good at all. Julie is way too serious and she’s nervously scrunching her napkin beneath her hand. My blood runs ice cold and I can feel the chill from Finn’s as well.
Julie closes her eyes and tersely inhales. “Jack and I are getting a divorce.”
CHAPTER 5
The silence in the room after her announcement can be heard for miles. The only sound I h
ear is the huge wall clock ticking in the living room.
“What?” Simone asks in disbelief, covering her mouth.
“Oh, my God,” Chrissie mutters, leaning her head back.
I can feel Ricky’s uneasiness along with mine. We have no idea what to say. The only person that most likely has something to say is noxiously quiet.
I reach under the table to grab his hand. It’s cold and unmoving on his leg. Carefully, I look up at him and his throat is pulsating to the tune of his heaving chest. Oh fuck.
Julie shakily says, “I’m so sorry. We tried. I know how this is hurting you guys. You love Jack. He’s been your stepdad for nearly 19 years. I don’t know what to say. I know we failed you.”
When Finn finally speaks, thick ice coats his husky tone. “You tried? Are you telling us that all those years of marriage are in the shitter? They’re gone? You’re going to rip yet another father away from us?”
Oh. Fuck. That’s the only thing that comes to my mind…continually.
“Finn, we’re not doing this to hurt you.”
Ultimately, his hand awakens beneath mine, curling his fingers tightly as he pounds the table with his other fist. “Fuck that!”
“Finn Robert Wilder!”
He rages, “So, is that how marriage works? You vow to the person you’re supposedly in love with that you’ll adore them for the rest of your life, or until you get tired of them and give up? I forget which of those it is!”
“Finn,” Ricky attempts to reason. I try to pull Finn’s hand to me, but he yanks it out of my grasp and he whisks his head to me. “This is what I’m talking about, Becks! Is this what you want for us? You want me to marry you just so that you can fall out of love with me and then kick my ass to the curb when you’re done? That would fucking kill me! Why don’t you just stab me in the heart right now, since it’d be less painful then going through another fucking divorce?”
“Finn stop, man.” He turns to Ricky, but I don’t hear if he said something to him because I start crying along with the other women at the table, Simone being the most animated.
Daring the Wild Sparks Page 5
