Finn peers around the table. “Now, will you all shut your mouths about us getting fucking married? It’s not going to happen! Shit!” Puffing out an angry breath, he throws his napkin on the table before jerking out his chair, denouncing before he leaves, “Marriage is a fucking love killer.” He impatiently rises from the table and storms out of the room. Ricky jumps up and follows him. I can’t find the heart to follow them. Finn just ripped it out of my chest and stomped on it.
Julie cries into her napkin. “I knew he’d take it hard, but…”
Chrishelle huffs, “But what, Mom? You really thought this wouldn’t fuck up his world? You totally just threw his life into reverse!” She tearfully regards me and then glares at Julie. “He was going to propose to Hadley. Now that’s gone!”
My mouth drops open and I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. Simone asks between sobs, “How do you know that, Chrissie? He said he wasn’t going to!”
“He was. He changed his mind. I could see it on his face when you told him to propose. He was going to do it, just not here.”
Oh. My. God. Finn was going to ask me to marry him? No. He wouldn’t do that. There’s no way he could do a 180 that fast concerning marriage. Chrissie is delusional.
Suddenly hearing car doors slamming, we all turn our attention to the window as Simone shoots up from her chair. She runs over and cranes her neck to the right. An engine angrily roars and tires squeal. “Finn just took off,” she states sullenly. Great.
Slowly turning around, Simone comes back to the table, sits back down and mouths, “Sorry,” to me. I close my eyes and slump in my chair.
Chrissie crumples her napkin and tosses it onto the table. “How’d this happen, Mom?”
“We just… We still love each other, but it wasn’t working for us anymore.”
“I’ll miss Jack. Don’t make me stop talking to him,” Simone cries.
“I would never do that! He still wants to be in your lives. He has been your stepfather for so long. He loves you all. He wanted to be here today, but he is out of town for work. That wasn’t a lie. We were going to tell you together, but then we also thought that you would resent him. I don’t want you to hate Jack. He’s a good man.”
Chrishelle argues, “Then why are you divorcing him? We may be adults, but we went through this shit with Dad, Steve and now Jack! We love him!”
Simone sniffs. “I’ve known Jack almost all of my life, Mom. I know him more than my real dad. He’s my Daddy Jack.” She covers her face with her hands and shakes with new sobs.
“Simone, I know. He always will be. You can see him whenever you want. I want you to. I won’t discourage you from doing so.”
Chrissie asks, “What does Leighton say about this?”
“She’s upset, too. I told her this morning. I knew Finn would be upset, but he’s taking it far worse than I imagined. I’m so sorry, Hadley.” Julie bows her head and cries.
I clear my throat, feeling uncomfortable about my boyfriend’s behavior and for the cloud of awkwardness hovering over me doubling exponentially. I now physically feel inept. I’m even self-conscious breathing around everyone. I nervously mumble, “It’s okay. I’m sorry that everyone is going through this.” I glance at Simone as she uses her napkin to dry her tears. I unevenly tack on, “I feel like I’m intruding. Maybe you should’ve had Ricky and me wait outside or take a walk.”
Simone and Julie shake their heads. Julie says, “Sweetie, you’re family. We love you. Although you and Finn aren’t legally married, we think of you as if you are. We only wanted to give you a ceremony to help maybe turn things around for Finn; to have him express his feelings for you and vow to you his love and commitment.”
Simone nods. “We love you, Hadley. My brother loves you. He’s just scared.”
“Well, this divorce certainly won’t help him,” Chrissie grumbles.
Julie says, “No, it won’t. I’m so sorry, Hadley.”
“Don’t worry about us getting married. We’ll still be together.” I rub my hand over my cheeks and sigh. “Um, I don’t think I can stay with him tonight. We both need some space.”
“What? You’re leaving?” Simone asks, crying again.
“I think it’s better if Finn is with you guys tonight, and I’m not here distracting him. I’m going to see my friend Bethany and stay overnight at her house in Fenwick Island. Finn said he wanted to go to Easter Vigil tomorrow night or Easter Mass Sunday morning. If he still wants me to go with him, I’ll come back. I just… I just need tonight away from him. After our argument and now…”
“I’m so sorry,” Julie cries behind her fist.
I shake my head and look down, unable to watch her crying. “Don’t be. Spend time with him tonight. He’ll need you,” I tell her. Pushing my chair out, I pick up my plate, as well as Finn’s. “I’m going to go pack my things so I’m gone before he gets back. I don’t want him trying to get me to stay.” I mumble to myself, “If he does that at all.”
Chrissie says, “Hadley, don’t go. He’s going to need you above anyone else.”
I stop as I reach the doorway and turn to look at Chrissie. “He needs his family tonight. Like I said, I don’t want him ignoring you if I’m here. I’ll be back sometime tomorrow. Okay?” I give everyone a small smile and take the plates out into the kitchen. My hands are shaking so badly that I have to hold the heavy plates with both hands. I hurriedly go to the sink and set the dishes down on the counter with a loud clatter, but managing to not drop or break them. Putting my hands on the edge of the counter, I lower my head, the sobs shaking me like a rag doll. My poor Finn. His poor sisters. How will he get past this? I don’t know what I can do for him. He’s so mad at the world.
Arms wrap around me and a head goes on my shoulder. Julie’s perfume drifts over me like a crisp sheet floating onto a bed. “I’m so, so sorry, Hadley. He’ll come back to you. That son of mine loves you so much. He’ll marry you, honey. I promise.” Everyone seems to think so, except for me…and Finn.
“I’m sad for all of you, not for myself,” I cry. “My heart breaks for what you’re all going through. I know Finn is going to have a tough time with this, but I’ll be there for him, if he wants me. I will never turn my back on him, no matter if we’re married or not. He’s my soulmate. I’m committed to him.” Julie squeezes me tighter and I cry harder. “I love him so much.”
“I know you do. He loves you, too. Thank you for loving my son, Hadley. He needs your love more than anything. Don’t give up on him. Please, don’t give up on Finn. It really would kill him if you did. He’ll lose the light in his eyes that you put there. He was an empty shell before you came into his life. He was acting his way through it, not really living it. You’ve given my son light and life, sweetie. You’re his reason for living.”
“I don’t know about that,” I protest as I dab my cheeks.
“You are, Hadley. You’re his universe,” she states tearfully.
I sigh as I nod, trying to convince myself to agree with her. “I’m going to go get my things. I need to get on the road before he gets home.”
“Don’t leave him,” she sobs.
I pat her arm as she cries against my shoulder. “I’m not. I promise. I’m just going to give us some space tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow.” Julie eventually nods and lets go of me. I turn around and give her a hug.
“I love you, Hadley. You’re a daughter to me.” Those words tear at my soul and my hard sobs return. She rubs my back and kisses my head, while sweeping my hair to the side. She holds me until I stop crying.
I sniff and say, “Thanks…Mom.” I giggle and Julie hugs me tight as she laughs. “I love that, Hadley. I’ll always be here when you need me. Please remember that, sweetie. If you come back early enough tomorrow, maybe we can go grab some lunch. Chrissie won’t be here, but you, Simone and I can go for lunch? Finn mentioned you have a bonfire to go to at your friend’s tomorrow night and that he also wanted to go church, so we’ll see. Simone and I are free all
day.”
“Okay. I’d like that.” I smile at her and walk out of the kitchen to pack and call Bethany.
CHAPTER 6
“Hadley, come here.” Bethany Chackmore holds her arms out and I run up the rest of the lengthy flight of stairs to her porch stoop. Her chocolate lab, Cupcake, is also there to greet me. I drop my bags and hug Bethany, burying my face in her long, strawberry blonde hair, crying yet again.
After a few minutes, I gather my things and she ushers me into her cream-colored, two-story house. There is a one-car garage on each side of the stairs going up to the front door, and the two second-floor bedrooms at the front of the house each have their own balcony. More notably, the living room on the other side of the house has a door leading out to her expansive back deck overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.
Bethany’s backyard is the beach. Fenwick Island is a small town, so she said there isn’t a whole lot of tourist traffic behind her house because of that and because of the brush and unkempt grass dotting the beach. It’s also a somewhat rocky section with huge brown boulders sticking up out of the water. I absolutely love it here. It’s my favorite place to visit.
“Where are Cody and Cooper?” I ask of her veterinarian husband and their four-year-old son.
“Cooper is at Grandma’s. Cody will be back in a bit. We were going to have a pre-Easter Eve bonfire.” She nods to her right. “Tomorrow night will be with some of the neighbors. Tonight, it’s just us.”
I cover my mouth. “I don’t mean to intrude. As a matter of fact, I’ll stay at a hotel.”
She rolls her eyes. “Hadley, don’t be silly. You can just turn your head if we start kissing.” She giggles, which makes me follow. “Just kidding. You can leave then.”
I laugh again. “Oh, Bethany. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I did, too, Hadley.” Bethany picks up my suitcase and I try to take it from her. She swings it out of my reach and walks over to the staircase leading upstairs. “So, tell me what happened.”
I clutch my two small bags and purse and follow her up. “I was stupid, as usual.” I look around, surveying the windows in Bethany’s house—large ones, small ones and sliding glass doors. It is so bright in here.
“What do you mean?”
“I brought up a subject that is forbidden and should never be spoken of.”
She says over her shoulder, “I guess you’re not talking about your pancakes.”
“Skank!” I pretend to be horrified, but can’t hold the pretense for long before I laugh.
She tries again, “Marriage?”
“That’s the biggie, but no.”
She walks us down the hall, turning a corner and stopping at the first door on the left. “A baby?”
“Yes.”
“He obviously didn’t like the idea?”
“That’s a catastrophic understatement.”
She walks through the door and puts my suitcase on a chair in the spacious, medium blue guest room. “Oh, no. When did you talk about it? After you got to his mom’s?”
“Yeah.” I take in the room. “Why is this room so dark and the rest of the house like an airport lit up at night?” I laugh.
“Cody likes to sometimes sleep in here when he has a migraine. Darkness helps, so we put the sunblock shades up with the dark blue curtains in here. I can open them up for you.”
“No!” I giggle at my own enthusiasm. “Actually, I like it dark.”
She grins. “Cool. Just be careful because when it gets darker outside, it gets super dark in here. I don’t want you to trip over anything. This is the one bedroom that doesn’t have a cathedral ceiling, so it’s not as hard to keep dark since the windows are smaller.”
“Okay. Thanks for the heads up because you know I’d sue.”
She laughs and smacks my arm. “Slut!” She giggles some more before resuming. “Well, maybe Finn was just tired and didn’t want to talk about having a baby.”
I emphatically shake my head. “No. Definitely not tired at the time.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Oh?”
I grimace. “I asked him right before we were going to…”
Her mouth drops open to accompany her suddenly wide, hazel eyes. “Wow, Hadley.” Bethany sits down on the brown-and-beige-striped comforter covering the bed, and I sit down next to her, crossing my legs.
“I know, Beth. Bad timing.”
“A little, but I guess it’s as good of a time as any, really. He probably would’ve given you the same answer sitting in the car.”
“Probably.”
“You said on the phone that Finn took off? Does he even know you’re here?”
I look down at my lap. “No, he doesn’t, but I left your number with his mom in case something happens and I don’t have my phone with me.”
“Why did he leave? Was it because you asked him to have a baby with you? That seems a little extreme. If he truly loves you, he wouldn’t just leave.”
I twist my ponytail and inhale as I look up at her. “His mom also announced that she and Finn’s stepdad are divorcing after 19 years of marriage.”
“No way.”
“I know. He actually was close to Jack. He’s close to his dad, Henry, too. So, this is a blow to him. He loves his mom, but I think because Finn was surrounded by so many women in his house, he stuck close to his dad. When his mom and Jack were married, Finn was in high school. Jack went to all of Finn’s baseball games and cheered him on. Finn played first base and Jack would tell everyone that was his stepson and how proud of him he was. Henry tried to make it out to some of his games, too, but mostly it was Jack. Jack would also practice with him out in the backyard to work on his throwing arm.”
“I thought you said before that Finn played soccer in high school?”
“He did, but he played in a summer league with a lot of his classmates. His school didn’t have a soccer team.”
“Oh.”
“I feel so bad for him. I know this is a blow to us not getting married, but for the moment, I’m so worried about how this is going to affect him overall. He’s an adult, so it shouldn’t be that damaging, I guess, yet he thinks of this as a betrayal.” I sigh and clasp my hands over my thigh. “I know he’ll most likely not ever ask me to marry him now. He was yelling at his mom. Then he told me their divorce was another example of why marriage doesn’t work and that marriage is ‘a love killer.’”
“Maybe he still might change…” Bethany stops and bites her lip and I sigh. Even she knows he won’t.
I cringe at her. “I bought him a ring.”
Her eyes tentatively widen with a slow smile. “What kind of ring?”
“A black band. An engagement band. I wanted to ask him to marry me.”
Her entire face fully lights up. “Hadley! When?”
“The ring is being engraved. I don’t know when I’m going to do it, especially now after everything that happened. I figured I was going to give him a few weeks, but now, I just don’t know.”
“Give him some time. Maybe this divorce won’t be so bad for him. He’ll still see Jack, won’t he?”
“Yes, but not that much because he barely sees him now. Jack even had to go out of town this weekend for work. Both Julie and Jack want them still to have a relationship. And before all of that, Julie informed us that she and Simone became ordained ministers online. They wanted to marry Finn and me this weekend.”
She gasps, “Say what?”
“Long story short, they wanted to perform a ceremony. It wouldn’t have been legal because we don’t have a marriage license beforehand, but she also mentioned fudging the date, which irked Finn.”
“What? I don’t...”
“Yeah. And then Finn said if we ever got married, he wants to get married in his church. We’d have to go through a long process before being allowed to get married Catholic.”
“How does he know all of that? Did he actually look into it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s just aware of it because that’s
part of his religion. I didn’t ask.” My eyes animate as I remember something else. “And, I forgot to mention that Finn got a new tattoo. His nickname for me, Becks, on his chest.”
“He did? That’s so romantic, Hadley!” she squeals.
“He did it for his Wild Side segment, so everyone in Richmond’s viewing area will see it.”
She stutters, “That is… He… Wow! Did you jump his bones after that?”
“I tried, but that’s when I had a lapse in my good decision-making skills. Before my faux pas, I did tell him that I’ll move in with him.”
“You are? You said you didn’t want to.”
“I didn’t, but I really miss him, Beth. I don’t see him that much at all. Maybe he’ll eventually change his mind about us getting married. However, I doubt that, but I can’t tell him that I won’t move in with him now, especially after he got my name permanently etched into his skin. He’d be so hurt and pissed off if I changed my mind.”
Bethany sighs and shakes her head with a light laugh. “You’ve had a rough day!”
I warily laugh. “I have. I just want to relax before I have to see Finn again. He’s going to be so upset and…not fun. I don’t even know about him coming here tomorrow night. I don’t think he’ll be in the mood to socialize with anyone.”
“That’s okay. You don’t even have to come to the bonfire if Finn needs you. I’ll understand. You’re here now, so we can hang out. We’ll make some snacks for the fire tonight. Or, we can go for a walk on the beach or go shopping. Whatever you want to do.”
“Right now, I’d really love to get a shower. I just feel…stressed.”
“Go ahead. I’m going to start on some snacks for later. Come join me when you’re done. We can have margaritas out on the deck before we do anything else.”
“That sounds awesome, Beth.”
She heads off for the kitchen. I pick up my bags and walk out into the hall, heading to the bathroom. After I turn on the water, I feel everything I’ve gone through today pushing down on me. I sink to the floor as the sorrow engulfs me once more.
Daring the Wild Sparks Page 6
