Looking around the parking lot, Finn grabs my hand as Ricky finally starts following us. Finn is striking in gray slacks, a light blue, long-sleeved dress shirt and a gray tie, though it’s never his clothes that draws attention to him. It’s the confident way he carries himself that constitutes his overall sexiness. I think this version of him, the private one—my version, not the outgoing, public Finn—is more relaxed, which makes him even hotter. Even Finn’s hair is a stylish mess, which makes me smile. He knows I like it that way. I hate when his hair is forced into place. It doesn’t suit him at all. Whenever I do see him after work, the first thing I do is run my fingers into it, unstyling it to my preference.
As we walk, I reach up and pat Finn’s gray tie, feeling his key necklace under his shirt. He gives me a bewildered look when I smile at him.
Officer Tesco even cleaned up pretty well in black pants, a long-sleeved, beige dress shirt adorned with a black, beige and tan striped tie. I’m actually impressed since I usually see him in torn jeans and an old T-shirt, or recently, his police uniform. Even his hair is combed. Ricky’s mop top is forever a mess, fashionable or not. Most of the time, he wears a baseball cap or his police hat to hide the unruliness, but that doesn’t take anything away from his appeal. In fact, I think it somehow enhances it.
I stroll between Finn and Ricky on the sidewalk leading up to the church. Taking my hand out of Finn’s, I link my arms with his and Ricky’s. “Well, look at me being escorted by two very handsome guys. What a lucky girl I am.”
Finn scowls at me. “Don’t you mean one handsome sportscaster and an average-looking cop?” One thing Ricky Tesco is not is average. With his dark bronze skin, devilish brown eyes, tall, lean frame, wavy, black hair, Ricky is able to arrest women not just with his handcuffs. He is yet another handsome son of a bitch that I know, but not more so than my Finnigan, of course. Even so, Ricky’s smile alone has gotten him into trouble, as Finn had filled me in regarding Ricky’s past exploits; though, I pray Finn would never cross the line Ricky did. Ricky is as much of a flirt as Finn is, but he apparently has the lure of a badge and uniform to go with it, being irresistible to women. Evidently, Ricky takes his self-proclaimed title of “Ponch 2.0” a little too seriously.
Peering over my head, Ricky taunts Finn. “No way, man! She did mean one: me. You have a face only that one freak could love.”
I swing my head to Ricky. “Who are you talking about?”
Finn snaps, “Thanks a lot, Tesco.”
Ricky grins and drops his mirthful brown eyes to my face, nodding in Finn’s direction. “Your hot stud told me about this girl back in high school who used to have this monster crush on him. She would follow him around, put notes in his locker, watch him at baseball practice, stare at him at lunch… Creepily mooning over him every day.” He looks above my head at Finn. “What else, Wilder?”
Finn growls back at him, “I’m going to punch you.”
Ricky laughs. “At church? I’m pretty sure that’s a big no-no. Especially on Easter and especially a cop.”
I whip my head to Finn. “You didn’t tell me about that girl.”
He shrugs, looking straight ahead. “What’s there to tell? She liked me and wouldn’t stop following me around.”
“You didn’t…” I widen my eyes, hoping he understands what I’m asking, “and then dump her, did you?” Was she one of his previous five? I’m trying to be respectful, being that we are in front of a church, but I just have to know.
He immediately laughs that notion off. “No.”
“Did you even like her or want to go out with her?”
He shakes his head; a frown submerging his smile as he testily glances at Ricky for bringing up the subject. “Um no. She wasn’t even cute.”
For some reason, I feel sad for the girl because of Finn’s unkind attitude. She probably had feelings for him and he laughed about it with his friends, like he’s doing now. I hope he didn’t make fun of her to her face, at least, and make her cry. “That’s so sad. That could’ve been me, you know.”
He glances down at me. “No. You were always cute. I saw the pictures.” Is that all that matters? If I was cute?
“Please say that you didn’t make fun of that girl, embarrassing her.”
He winces and appears to be somewhat regretful. “Sort of. It became a joke, though. Everyone on my team would tease me relentlessly about her being my biggest fan and my girlfriend. It got on my nerves, Becks. So I did say things to her to try and make her go away. I didn’t really want to hurt her feelings. I just wanted her to leave me alone.”
“So, if I were ugly, then we wouldn’t be together?”
Ricky blows out a huff of air and laughs. “Wilder doesn’t date ugly girls.”
Finn says crossly, “I’m warning you, officer.”
Ricky scoffs at Finn. “Threating a cop again.”
I angle my head back and forth from Ricky to Finn. “Does that mean I’m not that ugly?”
Ricky snorts and pretends—maybe—to check me out. “You’re do-able.” Finn unlinks his arm from mine and reaches behind me to punch Ricky solidly on the arm. Almost forgetting that we’re in front of a church, Ricky shouts, “Sh—oot!”
Finn grips me tighter with his arm, pulling me closer to him. “I warned you. Now, step away from my girlfriend.” Even if Finn is in a bitter mood, I know he’s joking with Ricky. If there is one man Finn trusts with me, it’s Ricky Tesco. Those two are extremely close. How close, though? What secrets of Finn’s is Ricky keeping?
“Hot diggity dog, Wilder! What’s up your caboose?” I laugh at his attempt to be chaste.
Finn doesn’t answer him as we approach the fire. There is a faint, but distinctive-smelling, perfumed smoke wafting through the air.
Finn was in a relatively good mood when we left, having avoided his mother, but during the car ride here, the dark clouds started rolling in again. Ricky was the one frequently talking the whole way, even though he had an inattentive audience.
Finn leads us over to a big cardboard box set on a square card table filled with thin, milky-white candles with paper disks around them. He grabs three and hands one to me and then one to Ricky. We go and stand at the edge of the crowd. I can’t really see anything since there must be a height requirement to belong to this particular church. I look up at the towering men next to me. Ricky is slightly taller than Finn, but Finn is more muscular, which is unexpected since Ricky is a cop and just as athletic as Finn.
It seems the lighting service hasn’t started yet, so people are chatting with each other. Finn slides his fingers between mine and tugs on my hand, making me step closer to him. I peek up at him with a smile, but glancing down at me, he doesn’t return the sentiment. Why does he always seem to be mad at me? I hope he isn’t jealous of me talking to Ricky. Ricky is married and not even my type.
“Finn Wilder?” Finn turns as a man walks towards him, holding his hand out. Finn lets go of my hand to shake his hand. I can’t hear anything else over the rumbling of people mingling around us. He seems to know the guy, not as a random Finnatic. Finn has his back to me as they talk, as if I’m not even here. So, he’s not going to introduce me now? We’re back to this again? He vowed to me in bed he wouldn’t do this to me anymore. The rejection stings, but I don’t want to nag him about trivial things when he’s going through a difficult time. Why should my damned feelings matter anyway? They didn’t seem to bother him before our fight at the kite festival.
I scan the people around us and shudder from the light wind, crossing my arms to close my cardigan more. His attitude about keeping me a secret has to change. If we need to have another talk, then so be it; however, I know this isn’t a good time for that. But honestly, how long am I going to have to walk on eggshells around Finn, or stay hidden in the shadows while he lives alone in the spotlight?
I face Ricky and furtively pull him a few steps away from the crowd. I whisper, “Has Finn said anything about dumping you last night?”
He puts a hand on his hip and shakes his head, his small, silver hoop earrings gleaming from the overhead lights on the sidewalk. “No, but I understand. I told him to go.”
“Why? He should’ve stayed at the house with Simone, at least. I still feel bad that he left you alone.”
Ricky shrugs like it’s not a big deal to him. “He didn’t want to stay. He wanted you.”
“Still.” I look over my shoulder to check on Finn. I then say to Ricky, “He said he was upset.”
He scoffs. “Upset? Right. That word doesn’t quite fit what he was yesterday when we came back and you were gone. He lost it.” Ricky’s eyes flick above my head and then back down to my face. “He broke all the family pictures on his mother’s mantle. Then, he took the big family picture that was hanging above the fireplace and threw it into the fireplace, smashing it. I had to wrestle him to the couch to calm him down.”
“All that because of the divorce?”
“No. He was actually being semi-reasonable about that by the time we got back, but when he saw that your car was gone… I guess he piled that on top of his anger with his mom and went ballistic.”
Stunned, I fold my arms again to stave off the breeze and my nerves, remembering not to break my candle in half. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“He thought you went back to Richmond. We were going to leave to go home right then, but Chrishelle told him where you were and why.”
“I bet he only upset his mom and sisters even more.”
Ricky nods. “Yeah. Chrishelle and Simone were crying and his mother was begging him to calm down. I can’t believe any of the neighbors didn’t hear the fighting. If I was a cop responding to that call and that was my jurisdiction, I would’ve had to arrest him, Hadley.” He shakes his head and looks at the ground. “I can’t imagine having to do that to him. It was weird enough with him in the backseat of my cruiser Sunday night and he wasn’t even being arrested.”
“What all was he saying at the house?”
He hesitates and looks above me before whispering, “That he lost his Becks and his life was over.”
I scowl. “Over? What do you mean?”
Ricky nods and his eyes lock onto mine. “Yeah. He worries me sometimes.” I turn to glance at Finn, but am met with his back still. He wouldn’t… I can’t even imagine those words.
Ricky asks, “How was he when he got to your friend’s house?”
Dropping my arms and absently toying with my candle, I look back at Ricky. “Fine, but then his moods have been erratic this weekend,” I say quietly.
He nods again and peers past me. “Yeah. I figured.”
I anxiously play with a strand of my hair. “What has he told you? He won’t talk much.”
He sighs. “Probably as much as he’s told you, if not less.”
I roll my eyes. “He tells you more than he does me, Ricky, but he did say he has a ‘deep, dark secret’ that he’s admitted to me.”
Ricky’s eyebrows shoot up at that revelation. “He did?”
“Yes.”
He tilts his head and eyes me speculatively. “How do you feel about that?”
“Confused.”
His forehead wrinkles in confusion. “Why? You didn’t like what he told you?”
“That’s the thing. He said he’s told me, but he hasn’t. He hasn’t said anything to me that I don’t already know about.”
Ricky suspiciously looks down at the ground. “Oh.”
Ricky Tesco knows something.
And he’s going to tell me if I have to beat it out of him with my candle amongst a crowd of God-fearing Marylanders dressed in their Easter best.
I clear my throat and hastily ask, “Do you know what it is?”
He shakes his head, looking around, avoiding my eagerness. “I can’t tell you that, Hadley.”
“So, you do know?” I hiss and grab his arm.
He jerks his head to me. “Oh, no, no, no. Don’t put me in the middle of this. You know I can’t betray his trust.”
“But, he said that he’s told me this secret every time we’re together, Ricky. I don’t believe that.”
“You’ll have to hear it from him. I can’t say anything.”
“Does it have to do with his fear of marriage?”
“Hadley, don’t do this. I can’t.” He sighs and inspects the scene behind me. I watch his clean-shaven jaw tense. “Look, the only thing I can say is that he wants to tell you, and you said that he already has. I really don’t know why you don’t know then. That’s a disconnect that you’re going to have to work out with Finn.”
Exasperated, I beg, “Can you at least tell me if it’s a bad secret?”
He glances over my head again and elusively whispers, “It’s not a bad secret, okay?”
I decide to pull out the big gun. “After you and Finn left, Chrishelle proclaimed that Finn was going to propose to me before Julie made her announcement. Do you think that’s true?”
His eyes fleetingly widen before he rapidly blinks. Impulsively looking away, surveying the people around us, he shoves a hand into his pocket and grouses, “Damn it, Hadley. Don’t ask me that.”
I quietly gasp, “He was!” Finn was going to propose to me?
Ricky heaves a deep sigh and my heart starts to thunder in my chest.
Breathless, I once more implore, “Ricky, tell me something. Please.”
He briefly regards me, but can’t hold his gaze to mine for long. Irritably shaking his head and crossing his arms, he says, “I’m not going to betray Finn. I won’t do it. He’s my best friend, Hadley. Whatever he has told me, it’s between him and me.”
Hot on Ricky’s trail, I gleefully say, “That sounds like a yes!” I desperately want to believe it. I truly do, yet my weary heart doesn’t want to vainly hope, only to be smashed into jagged, little pieces all over again.
Ricky drops his arms and moves to put both hands into his pockets, but his candle stops him. He scowls and anxiously rakes his eyes around the people standing near us. “It’s not. Chrissie was wrong.”
“She was?”
He continues avoiding me. “Yeah. He wasn’t, so just forget about it.”
Ricky Tesco is lying. I know this because he’s a good cop, but a terrible liar. I think it goes against his nature. That’s probably why when his first wife accused him of cheating, he admitted to it. He couldn’t even lie about his affair.
I sigh in defeat. “Okay. I get it. I actually respect you more for being such a good friend to him.”
He visibly relaxes. “He’s like my brother.” Conjoined twins.
Holding my candle with one hand, I restlessly scrape hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear with the other. “I know.”
A hand unexpectedly pulls on my arm and I jerk in surprise. I peer up to see Finn standing next to a blonde-haired man with a coordinating goatee, and wearing glasses and a bright red, short-sleeved shirt. Finn moves his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him. “Gary, this is my girlfriend, Hadley.” Glancing down at me, Finn says, “This is Gary Jenson. We went to high school together. Played baseball.” Finn leans down to me and loudly whispers, “He was our mediocre third baseman.”
“I see you’re dating our inept first baseman.” Gary laughs and holds out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Hadley.”
I take his hand with a smile. “Nice to meet you, too.”
Finn shifts and looks beside me. “Gary, this is my buddy, Ricky Tesco. Rick, this is Gary Jenson.”
“Hey, man, nice to meet you,” Ricky says, stepping forward and returning Gary’s handshake.
Finn explains to Ricky and me, “Gary and I were the only two that we knew of from our school whose mothers made them go to this church.”
Gary nods with a snicker. “We made up for it by sitting in the back pew and looking at comic books between our Bible readers.”
“We did,” Finn agrees with a laugh. “We had to pay attention when everyone else was kneeling or standing so that we didn’t get c
aught.”
I smile and stealthily observe the fire. I wish I knew Finn back then. Would he really have noticed me or would I be that girl he made fun of?
Walking through the church doors from the inside, a boy and a girl, dressed in white and black vestments, hold them open to allow a small procession of more kids outfitted alike to surge out into the crisp, evening air. At the end of the group is an older man donning white garb that matches his snowy tufts of sporadic hair: the priest from the looks of it.
They make their way over to the fire. Finn pulls me forward so I can get a better view of what’s going on. The pungent, perfumed smoke tickles my nose. It’s strange at first, but I soon become accustomed to it. I say a small prayer as to not rudely sneeze and draw attention to us. To me, mostly.
The priest reads from a book one of the kids are holding for him. Everyone around me does the sign of the cross and we all bow our heads in prayer.
Following the prayers, we watch as the priest puts pegs into the tall candle, says a blessing for each one and then lights the candle from the fire.
After the prayers and readings that complete the candle part of the service are finished, we wait for the priest and his helpers to enter the church with the large, now-pegged candle. After we stop for the second time, I notice little flames passing from one candle to another. Before long, a woman lights Finn’s candle. I look up at his face as he turns to me, giving me a slight smile, which I immediately reciprocate, hopeful he’s in a better mood. He angles his candle to mine, catching my tiny wick alight. We capture each other’s gaze, causing us to smile again, our faces faintly glowing in our small candlelight.
Since we’re at the back of the crowd and nearest the church doors, we follow behind a handful of people. Finn picks a seat in the back, where we stand in front of our bench as we wait for everyone else to file in. Ricky stands next to me on the end closest to the center aisle.
Inhaling Finn’s scrumptious cologne, I whisper, “I thought you wanted a good seat?”
Daring the Wild Sparks Page 14
