“So, you got a tattoo for her. That’s pretty significant.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“I didn’t expect you to commit yourself like that to her.”
“I am committed to her. I have been. I will be.”
“That’s good to hear. We all love her. Does that mean that you’re going to pop the question soon?”
“Actually, we’re moving in together, but no. We’re not getting married.” That is like a punch to the gut, but I keep listening.
“Because of your mother and me?”
“Yeah. That’s a big part of it. Then there’s Mom and Dad, Mom and Steve, Ricky and his first wife. Everyone seems to get divorced.”
“Finn, don’t let that keep you from having your own marriage. I don’t regret being married to your mom. I gained four great kids. You guys are my kids. Julie said you’re worried that you won’t see me anymore because of the divorce. I’m actually touched and relieved that you still want me in your lives.”
“We do, Jack. You were there for us. You’ve helped put this family back together.”
“You’re not going to get rid of me, kiddo.” Ah. That’s where Chrissie gets that.
“Good. I’d like to visit you when we’re up this way, if that’s okay.”
“That is more than okay. I’d be hurt if you didn’t. I want to be a part of your lives. When any of you get married, I want to be there. When you and Hadley have kids, I want to be in their lives, too. I want to be there for everything. Nope. No kids, Jack. “You’re my son, Finn. No matter what.” I clap my hands over my mouth to hold back a sob.
Oh, damn. I have to get out of the bathroom before they think I fell in.
Finished with packing, I change into a long sleeved nightgown I brought with me. It has ruffles on the bottom and stops at my knees. Nothing sexy at all. I think my grandmother probably would wear it. I don’t plan on going anywhere, except for the bathroom, anymore tonight, so wearing it should be okay. It’s just us girls and Finn. It wouldn’t even matter if Ricky were here because he saw me wearing much less material last Sunday. This would be very conservative compared to that gross atrocity.
I climb under the blankets and stare up at the ceiling. I usually have the weirdest dreams when I’m with Finn, but there’s something about being away from home that makes my dreams take an even stranger turn. Last night I dreamt that I was climbing a mountain of colorful, shards of glass. Why? I don’t know. There wasn’t a gun pointed at me or a prize to be won, yet I was scaling the damned thing as if my life depended on it. Every pull of my hand, cut me even deeper. By the time I neared the top, my hands were rapidly dripping with blood. Even more unfortunately, when I tried to heave myself up to the peak, my foot slipped and I slid down the jagged glass, cutting my stomach open and practically disemboweling myself. I lay at the bottom of the mountain bleeding out and nobody around to help me.
I had woken up from that fun dream. Finn was sound asleep. What in the hell does he dream about? Probably bridges and blow jobs.
I drift off to sleep and have yet another outlandish dream. We are at the baseball diamond again. Instead of at first base, Sparks is on the pitcher’s mound and I’m oddly up at bat. He’s wearing his white and blue-striped uniform, and I’m hypnotized, in which he easily speeds a couple pitches past me. From behind, I hear the umpire declaring them to be strikes. I guess I need to swing. Sparks isn’t even trying to be easy with me because his throws are excruciatingly fast. Shit. I step back to the plate and crouch into a batting stance. Finn winds the ball, it hurdles out of his hand and it unpredictably beams me in the stomach, spinning me around several times before I crumple into a heap on home plate. I can barely move the pain is so horrendous. I lift my head to look at him and he’s laughing. Laughing at my pain? I yell for him to help me, but as he laughs, he shakes his head and walks off the mound. Why would he do that? He took care of me when I was so sick in January. I can’t imagine he would walk away from me like this. Gingerly, I look down at the ground beneath me and see blood everywhere. I roll to my side and where the ball hit me there is a gushing fountain of blood coming from a huge hole in my stomach. Fuck! I won’t survive this! To my surprise, Finn is now squatting down in front of me, smirking, but it’s not one of his cute ones. It’s a cutting one. Aloofly, he says, “I really want to carry you, but,” he glances down to his uniform and then to the blood and dirt all over me, and shrugs, “I wouldn’t want to get dirty.” He then stands and casually adjusts his white baseball cap as he walks away from me.
I wake up with a start, jumping and crawling backwards until I’m sitting. My chest heaves and I try to catch my breath. The room is black, unlike when I fell asleep with the lamp on, and my nightgown is damp, along with my hairline and the back of my neck. Is it blood? In the dark, I can’t see, so I sniff my nightgown, but I don’t smell the distinct scent of blood.
That dream seemed so real and it left me with a raw feeling in the pit of my stomach. I know it was just a stupid dream because Finn could never leave me to die like that.
Sighing, I lift my hair up and down over my neck to cool myself down. Dropping my right hand, I hit a warm body. Finn. I’ve been so caught up in my nightmare I didn’t even realize he was with me. I stroke his leg to reassure myself it was just a bad dream; however, I still can’t rid my mind of how cold he was to me. How he left me for dead.
I want to change my nightgown, but I also can’t see anything in here. I could take it off, but I also don’t need anyone coming in here and seeing me in my heart underwear and my boobs hanging out. Though, my boyfriend probably would approve of my look.
Lying down again, I try to fall asleep, but sleep evades me. So, I put my arm around Finn and the side of my head against his back, listening to his steady heartbeat and breathing as I try to push the nightmare out of my head.
CHAPTER 21
Our whole four-hour drive home to Richmond is various degrees of rainy. It started out sprinkling, but as we get closer to the city, a thunderstorm welcomes us with bouts of sheeting rain and gusting winds.
“So, baby, you were in bed early last night.” I quickly glance over at Finn, who is watching me with genuine interest. He’s wearing his glasses again. I love how he’s doing that just for me.
“Yeah. I was waiting up for you, but I fell asleep. I’ve done that twice to you this weekend. Sorry.”
He chuckles and takes a sip of his can of root beer he brought with him. “That’s okay. Jack and I were up late. I came upstairs to see what you were doing and you were sleeping. I did kiss you goodnight.”
I turn down the windshield wipers with short-lived relief, knowing it won’t last long before it’s pouring again. “Aww. I’m sorry I missed it.”
“I’ll give you a lot more of them when you’re with me every night.”
I grin and stare out the windshield as I grip the steering wheel tightly. I still can’t shake that damned nightmare clinging to me like a cat stuck on a screen door.
“So, how was your talk with Jack?”
“Okay.” He takes another sip, as if he’s ending that topic.
“Is that all you’re going to tell me? He had to have said something else.”
He sighs and idly taps on the side of his can. “He said he still wants to be in our lives.” That’s all, Finn? You’re not going to tell me about him calling you his son or of your plan for more tattoos?
My phone rings and Finn picks it up from the console. “It’s Morgan.”
“Can you open it for me, please?” He flips my ancient phone open and hands it to me.
“Hey, Morg.”
“Hey, Hadley. How was your weekend?”
“It was great,” I lie a little.
“Good. Ivan and I set a date!”
“Awesome! When is it?”
“June 18th.”
“You’re getting married June 18th? That’s less than two months away!” I almost whine, sounding like Simone, no doubt.
“I know, but we c
an do this!”
“That doesn’t give me enough time to plan a shower for you! I don’t know the first thing about planning one!”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I want to throw you one, Morgan. I’ll ask Tonya for help.”
“I’ll give you her number, if you want.”
“I’ll get it from you tomorrow. We’re driving home now.”
“Okay. Well, if you do throw me one, don’t make it a huge affair. It’ll be easier and faster anyway to put together something small.”
“It’s your wedding, though. I want to make it special for you.”
“You will. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Snapping my phone shut, I hand it back to Finn. He takes it and says disdainfully, “Becks, we need to get you a new phone. This one is beyond useless and outdated.” Now he sounds like Rod, only with a deeper voice and less cussing.
Shit! Rod! I wonder how his weekend is going in North Carolina with Eden. I’m such a horrible girlfriend and friend.
I argue, “I only use it to talk. I don’t need to text or anything. I’d rather use the computer to email or to get on the Internet.”
He replies unwaveringly, “I don’t care. I’d rather you have a new phone. I’ll add you to my plan and get you a new one.”
“No. I’m fine.”
“Stop being so stubborn,” he admonishes and takes another drink, then adding, “Might as well anyway. It’ll be cheaper than us having to pay two separate bills.”
I glance at him. “Why are you worried about how much I’m paying for my phone?”
His forehead scrunches before I have to look back to the road. “We’ll be living together. Our bills will eventually merge, won’t they?”
“I guess. I never thought about that.”
“A lot of things will be changing: your mailing address, your drive home, the bed you’ll sleep in every night, and your bills will be our bills. I’ll have to also get your car a residence tag for the front gate, though, most of the guards already know who you are.”
“Oh. So, how are we going to move the big furniture over?”
He states matter-of-factly, “Ricky’s truck.”
I reach for my own root beer. “Rod has one too. I’m sure he’ll help.”
“The more the merrier. We’ll get done faster.”
“I don’t know if all of my bigger furniture will fit. We’ll have doubles of some things.”
“What we don’t need right now, we can put in storage until we get a bigger place.”
“Yeah. We’ll have to sort all of that out.”
“We will. Make a list of the things you don’t need and I’ll get you a storage unit. That way, Ricky can haul over everything together so he doesn’t have to make as many trips. I can ask him to help you move stuff while I’m gone. We’ll have you moved by next week.” Jeez. That soon?
“I still have a lease.”
He sets his empty can into his cup holder. “That doesn’t mean anything. You can still move in with me. They don’t care where you sleep, as long as they get their rent.”
“Okay.”
He rubs his hands excitedly over his jeans-clad, long legs and then turns to me. “I can’t wait. What about you? Do you still want to do this?”
I can’t even look at him, not as much because I’m driving, but because I don’t know if I want to see the great, big hope in his eyes. “Yes. I still want to move in with you. Why wouldn’t I?” Because we’re not married and have no plans to be.
That’s it. If he would only promise to marry me, I would feel differently about this. I want this so much, but he’d rather drink battery acid.
“You haven’t wanted to move in with me, but now you do. I just want to make sure you really want to do this.”
I nod. “I do want to.” Not like this, at least.
“I also didn’t know if you’re having second thoughts after the shit that happened this weekend...and last weekend.” He lifts a hand from his leg to brush it through his hair as he heavily sighs.
I quickly peer over at him as he continues to sweep through his magical hair, while he gazes out the windshield. I wanly smile, turning my attention to the front. “Other than a few small snags, I had an awesome weekend with you.”
From the corner of my eye, I see him put his hand down and look over at me. “I did, too. I hate having to leave you so much. The more time I spend with you, the more time I want with you, if that makes sense.” Aww!
Grinning, I shrug and glance at him. “Yes, because that’s the way I’ve been feeling, too. I want to be with you all the time. I don’t want to go back to work and not see you until Thursday night.”
“I don’t either.”
“One bright spot is that we’ll be living together and we’re going to take a vacation in a couple weeks.”
He reaches for my hand laying in my lap, rubbing his thumb over my skin. “I know. I’ll still miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, Sparks. I’ll keep your side of the bed warm for you.”
He grumbles, “Now I won’t be able to stop thinking about you in our bed.” Our bed. That sounds so sexy.
I giggle as I think of a way to tease him. “I’ll even sleep naked for you.”
He slaps his thigh. “Damn it. Now, I’m not going on this trip.”
I laugh at his reaction. “Just go. I’ll be waiting for you at home.”
I hear his smile beaming in his voice. “Home. I love that. Speaking of bed, I didn’t get to make love to you in my old bed a second time since you were asleep.”
“I’m sorry. You could’ve woken me up.”
“No. You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you up.” I didn’t feel so peaceful.
He adds, “You can make it up to me tonight. We still have unfinished business anyway.”
Oh, no. And finishing it would mean him coming in my mouth. Damn it.
My big mouth keeps getting me into trouble in more ways than one.
Finn unlocks his front door and I follow him in, carrying the cooler of food his mother packed for us.
Deciding to throw together leftovers for dinner while Finn calls Ricky, I find two small candles and set them on the coffee table. They can serve as both romantic ambiance and as a little bit of light in case the electricity goes out from the storm. I take two plates out to the living room and set them on the table next to the candles. I look for a bottle of wine, but can only find beer. Figures. Grabbing the two bottles, I walk into the living room as he strides out of his bedroom.
Finn stops when he sees my indoor picnic. “What’s this?”
“I thought we could eat in here on the floor by candlelight.”
He smiles and sits down alongside the couch, next to the coffee table, and reaches for a bottle of beer. I sit cross-legged up against the loveseat diagonally from him, my knee touching his leg, which he has bent at the knee on the floor.
“So, Morgan and Ivan are getting married June 18th,” I say as nonchalantly as possible.
Holding the bottle up to his lips, he skeptically regards me. “I heard.”
“I don’t know how to plan a bridal shower for her. I’m not good at party planning.”
He shrugs and lowers the bottle, propping his wrist over his other knee as he smirks. “Get Rod to do it.”
I laugh. “That’s actually a perfect idea! He loves doing that kind of thing! I’ll talk to him tomorrow and see if he’ll help me.”
“There. Problem solved.” He takes a bite of his ham sandwich from his plate on the table.
I sigh. “I have to find a dress to wear in the wedding. I don’t even know what color she wants me to wear yet.”
His eyes drop to the floor in front of him. “Oh.”
What did I say?
I take a sip of my beer. “Then I have to find shoes, get my nails done and figure out how to wear my hair. That’s all the things I’m aware of that I have to do. I’m sure more will pop up.”
Finn looks bac
k up at me. “I’ll mention to Hank that I’ll be out of town that day.”
My eyes widen in surprise. “You really will go with me?” I still can’t get over that. A wedding, of all things.
He slowly nods. “Yeah, if I can.” A sudden smile creeps onto his face. “I’m not going to pass up an opportunity to see you in a sexy dress and then ripping it off you in the hotel room.”
“It might be a ghastly dress if I can’t find what I like and have to end up just picking one.” I cringe and set my plate up on the table.
“Baby, you can make a paper bag look sexy.”
I purse my lips and smile. “I doubt that.
He arches an eyebrow suggestively. “I’d still look up your paper bag dress.”
I giggle. “You’re so weird.”
His eyes glitter. “At least it would be easy to rip it off.”
“I’d rather have to wear a paper bag in the wedding than a bikini. There’s no way I could wear something like that in front of people.”
He sulks and raises his beer bottle. “So, there’s no chance of me ever seeing you in one?”
I cringe. “Eww, no. I’ll wear a one-piece, and I don’t even want to do that. I’d still cover myself with a T-shirt.”
“Why?”
“Because people will see my fat thighs, my gut and bubble butt.”
He scowls at me. “I do not see any of those things on you, Becks. You’re hot.”
I look away from his annoyed expression. “Maybe you need a new eyeglass prescription.”
With irritation coloring his voice, he says, “That’s not what I mean.”
I roll my eyes and take a long drink. He asks, “Why don’t you believe me? You have a gorgeous body. It's perfect to me. I’ve told you that a million times. Having your body against mine is one of my favorite things in life. You’re the only woman that turns me on. I promise you that.”
I smile, though, I don’t know if he’s trying to flatter me or if he’s being totally truthful. I’m sure there are other women that turn Finn Wilder on. It’s a given. There were in the past. Maybe even now?
Daring the Wild Sparks Page 28
