Fighting Shadows

by Aly Martinez

  A loud laugh escaped my throat as Flint flipped me onto the bed to join him. He juggled me like a rag doll until he until he found a position that suited him—kneeling over his face.

  I stopped laughing immediately when his mouth sealed over my clit.

  Then I cried out as his long finger found my opening. His other hand darted between us and lifted his cock toward my mouth.

  With a swirl of his tongue, he dropped his head to the bed long enough to say, “Now, apologize all you like while I have breakfast.”

  I gasped as his fingers began a rhythm inside me that left me unable to focus on anything else.

  “Are you sore?”

  “A little.” I managed to pull myself together long enough to find his cock again. But I instantly regretted my answer when he removed his finger.

  “Then you come on my mouth, but you better get busy.” He swatted my ass deliciously hard before using each cheek to pull me down to hover only a centimeter from his mouth. “Because I’m coming in yours too.” He pulled me down until I completely covered his face, licking and sucking in a deep and greedy way I should have been embarrassed by.

  But embarrassment would have required thoughts, and right then, every single brain cell I possessed had abandoned me in the hunt for climax.

  I came on his mouth, all right. Then, when I finally got my act together, he came in mine as well. And Flint being Flint, well, he was such an overachiever that he insisted on showing me exactly how much he accepted my sexual apologies. So, before I fell asleep on his chest, I came one last time with his hand between my legs.

  I decided I could live with two alarm clocks if that was the wake-up call they provided.

  Ash slept naked in my bed for most of the day. If it had been up to me, I would have gotten her off at least a dozen more times, but as much as I loved watching her come, I loved feeling her come while I was inside her that much more. She needed time to recover from the night before, because I had plans for that evening. And every evening of the foreseeable future.

  After she dozed off, I snuck out of bed and drank my coffee with the memories of her swallowing my release as my only company.

  It quickly became my favorite company.

  I knew that Ash and I were a long way from being fixed or back together, but knowing she was mine, and only mine, in every possible way sexually made me that much more determined to claim the rest of her. I had already been pretty set on keeping her in my life before, but after having heard her come calling my name, I vowed not to let anything stand in my way.

  At around three in the afternoon, a knock at the door forced me to finally pull some clothes on. I quietly closed the door to my bedroom and tugged my shirt down as the knock repeated.

  “I’m coming,” I called, limping over to the door.

  Cracking it open, I rolled my eyes. “Three P.M. I’m impressed. I figured you’d be here as soon as Till left for the gym.”

  “The sitter didn’t show.” Eliza laughed, pushing past me, carrying a stack of glass baking dishes. “Where is she?” she asked, spinning in a circle.

  “Asleep.”

  “Still? Flint, what did you do to that poor girl?”

  “You want the honest answer?” I smirked.

  She puffed her cheeks and pretended to gag. “Dear God, no.”

  “What’s that?” I followed her to the kitchen.

  She turned the oven on. “Pot roast and twice-baked potatoes. Well, only once-baked potatoes right now. Give them about twenty minutes and they’ll be twice baked.”

  “Woman.” I grunted like a caveman before lifting the edge of the tinfoil to sniff inside.

  “I figured she’d be hungry, and Lord knows you can’t feed her.”

  “I love the way you assume I’m worthless in the kitchen. However, if it means you show up with twice-baked potatoes, you can keep that assumption up for as long as you want.”

  She giggled, slapping me on the chest. “I don’t assume you’re worthless in the kitchen. I know you’re worthless in the kitchen. The last thing any of us need is you trying to cook her lunch and send her running for another three years. Broody, crybaby Flint was a real drag.”

  “Crybaby Flint? You seriously have to make girlfriends and stop hanging out with Quarry so much.” I laughed.

  “No, Q would have called you a fucking crybaby. I edited.”

  “This is true.” I snagged a slice of the pot roast with my fingers and popped it into my mouth.

  “Are you two coming to dinner after Q’s fight?”

  “Yeah. I heard you sold a painting. I’m ordering the lobster.”

  “I did! My Dream Window is now hanging in the Museum de Coffee Shop downtown. I only made, like, a hundred bucks, so you might have to order off the children’s menu.”

  “That’s still pretty awesome though. You’re a legit artist now.” I took a fork from the drawer and scooped another slice of meat before Eliza pulled the dish away.

  “Don’t eat without her,” she scolded.

  “No. Let him eat. It’s okay,” Ash said, suddenly appearing behind us.

  She was wearing her jeans and one of my hoodies that all but swallowed her. Ash was tall—a fact I’d loved even when I’d had to look up at her—but she was so thin that it hung well below her ass. An ass that, after this morning, I knew every curve of.

  “Mm.” I pointed to my mouth as I hurriedly swallowed the roast. “Hey.” I dropped the fork in the sink and headed her way.

  “Morning,” she greeted shyly, which made me narrow my eyes as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

  Eliza chimed in behind me. “Hi.”

  Ash’s leaned away, and her eyes flashed from mine to Eliza’s and back to mine before she replied with a cold, “Hi.”

  Oh hell.

  Eliza didn’t catch the frigid air in the least. “We met once a while back. I’m Till’s wife, Eliza. It’s so nice to meet you again.” She tossed out a warm grin that did nothing to stifle Ash’s passive-aggressive chill.

  “Yeah, I remember when we met.” Ash grinned, something so fake that I almost believed it.

  Almost.

  I stepped in front of her. “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

  “Of course, baby,” she answered sweetly, but it was clear that talking was very low on Ash’s agenda.

  Her hands glided up my chest and over my shoulders. Standing on her tiptoes, she gave me a sensual and completely indecent kiss. I took it, even knowing Eliza was watching, but only because I could tell exactly what Ash was doing.

  And.

  I.

  Fucking.

  Loved.

  It.

  Begrudgingly, I broke the kiss just before her hands slid down to my ass. “Excuse us for a minute, Eliza.” I turned my attention back to Ash. “Bedroom,” I ordered.

  Eliza giggled and wiped her hands on the towel hanging from the stove. “I actually have to go. I just wanted to drop off the food. The potatoes will be ready in fifteen minutes. Eat them while they’re hot. Quarry’s the main event tonight, so it will probably be after nine before dinner.” She walked over to Ash, who was still possessively clinging to my waist. “You have no idea how happy I am that you’re back.” She squeezed her arm. “I’ll save you a seat at the fight?”

  Ash was glowering, but when she caught me watching her, she quickly covered it. “Yeah. Um. Sure,” she replied.

  “Okay, see you guys tonight,” Eliza called out when she got to the door.

  No sooner had the door shut behind her than Ash’s shoulders fell in relief.

  “Up,” I barked, causing her head to tip back to look at me.

  “Huh?”

  “Put your ass on my counter so we can have this conversation eye to eye.”

  “What conversation?”

  “Up,” I repeated, and with the exception of a huff, she didn’t argue.

  Jumping, she pushed herself onto the counter.

  I settled between her legs and spread my crutche
s wide enough to wrap her legs around my hips. “You don’t like Eliza?”

  “She’s fine,” she chirped.

  “Bullshit.” I crushed my mouth to hers.

  Fisting the front of my shirt, she pulled me even closer as she glided her tongue against mine. I shifted her to the edge of the counter until my cock found her denim-covered core.

  “You have no fucking idea how hard I got watching you claim me,” I mumbled into her mouth, rolling my hips against hers.

  She leaned away to talk. “If I’m going to try with you, then Eliza—”

  I shifted my weight to one side then caught the back of her head, forcing her mouth against mine. Her hands roamed my chest.

  “Changed my mind. We’re not trying. We’re doing.”

  She smiled and reached down to the button on her jeans. “I won’t argue.”

  “No. I’m talking about us. This time yesterday, you were running from me, and not five minutes ago, you were ready to mount me in the middle of the kitchen just so Eliza knew that I was yours.”

  “You are mine,” she added defensively.

  I smirked. “It’s good to know we agree. Which is exactly why we’re doing instead of trying.”

  She gently stroked my cock. “Whatever. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  I swayed out of her reach. “Too bad. I gave you last night. Now, you’re talking to me.”

  “Oh God.” She started to shift off the counter.

  I blocked her. “Hear me out.”

  “I don’t want to hear you out! Not about her. I’m sorry. I know she’s your family and all, but part of the reason I left in the first place is because I’ll never be Eliza. Never.”

  “You are absolutely right.”

  Her mouth gaped open in shock.

  “I was a fucking fool when I told you I was in love with Eliza. And not because it broke us up. I was a fool because it was a load of shit.” Using her chin, I tipped back her head, forcing her gaze to lock with mine. “I was never in love with her—at least, not in the way I thought. But it wasn’t until I fell for you that I realized that.”

  She rolled her eyes, but I kept going.

  “Ash, I was really fucked up back then. Even before the accident, I was angry about everything. Life was a struggle. Every single day was an absolute fight. Before my mom left, I would wake up in the middle of the night and clean the house because I was panicked that social services was going to show up. Till moved out when I was twelve. Sure, he came back and took care of us as much as he could, but on a daily basis, I was a seventh-grader raising a seven-year-old. I was terrified I was going to fuck something up and lose the little stability I actually had. Then, when Eliza entered our lives, she took a lot of that responsibility off my shoulders. She and Till gave me real security for the first time in my entire life. I was desperate to hold on to that feeling no matter what. And somewhere along the way, I confused that desperation with love.” I stopped talking and held her empty stare, begging her to truly hear my confession. I needed her to understand why I had acted the way I had. Maybe then we could start over without the shadows of the past fracturing the possibility of a future.

  Finally, after several beats, she shyly admitted, “That’s how you made me feel.”

  “Ash—”

  “You made me feel safe and secure.” She looked back up, squaring her shoulders and fearlessly meeting my gaze. “You know, you don’t understand my life, either, Flint. I didn’t exactly have it easy. My father used to send me out on the streets to hustle. Sometimes they were nice guys who were clueless as to what the hell I was doing. But sometimes they weren’t. I got caught lifting a wallet once. The guy threw me down, kicked me in the ribs, and then spit on me before he walked away. It wasn’t anything huge. I ended up with a busted lip and a bruised side. It was mainly my self-worth that took the brunt of the attack, but my own father inflicted those wounds. When I got back to the pickup location, he gave me a ten-minute lecture on how I hadn’t brought him back enough money. He couldn’t have cared less that I had been hurt.”

  “Son of a bitch,” I cursed. Kissing her forehead, I plotted Ray Mabie’s death all over again.

  “That day when you tried to save me from Max meant more to me than you could ever imagine. I think I fell in love with you right then. Not because of who you were, but because of how you made me feel. After that, I opened myself up to you, which made everything you said to me that much harder. I could have dealt with that shit from anyone in the world—anyone but you. I trusted you, and look what it got me.”

  “I am so fucking sorry, Ash. That day was like the perfect storm of triggers for both of us, because when I found out how old you were, I panicked all over again. You were sixteen.”

  Her eyes turned angry as she snapped, “I’m only nineteen now.”

  “Bullshit. You’re not nineteen any more than I am twenty-two. Ash, you didn’t spend the last three years partying it up. You were hanging out with elderly ladies and cooking lunch at a homeless shelter. We’ve both experienced enough life to last an eternity. I’m really ready to just sit back, relax, and enjoy it.” I dropped my forehead to hers. “Preferably with you.”

  It was meant to be a reassuring statement, but it seemed to set her on fire.

  She suddenly jumped to her feet, knocking me to the side before I caught my balance. “I don’t know how to be with anyone! It’s been me my whole life, Flint. Just me. Even when I was with my dad, I was still alone.” She began pacing the room. “And now, you show up and not only want me to be with you, but live in your perfect house with your perfectly labeled cabinets. I don’t fit in this life! I can’t be your happy little wife in your happy little home.”

  “Okay. Slow the hell down. Ash, I’m not asking you to marry me.”

  She froze and looked over at me. Disappointment showed on her face even while her cheeks heated in embarrassment. It made me an asshole, but that disappointment made me happier than any smile she had ever tossed my way.

  “I didn’t mean—”

  “Yet,” I amended, and her head snapped back. “I don’t know you anymore. I remember the girl that I fell in love with, and if I’m being honest with you, I still love her.”

  Her chin began to quiver, but my smile grew.

  “I want to fall in love with the woman now. I want to know who Ash Victoria Mabie really is. I mean, I know she’s gorgeous and great in bed,” I teased, causing her to choke out a laugh. “But I want to know all of her. And while we’re at it, I want her to get to know me too.

  “I’m not the same guy you remember. The years have changed me too—in some ways for the better, and some for the worse. Hell, you might hate me in two weeks, but at least give me the chance. I want to make you fall in love with me, not the memories. And if and when that happens, I will make you my wife. And I will make this your home. And we can make each other safe and secure for the rest of our lives.”

  I walked over, stopping in front of her. Her eyes bounced around the room, but they weren’t dim anymore. Something I had said had changed her. I just needed to figure out whatever-the-hell part it was she needed to hear so I could reassure her on a daily basis.

  “Ash, all of that will come with time. Right now, I just need you to stop running and maybe start by going out on a fucking date with me.”

  She swallowed hard, and her blue eyes sparkled with unshed emotion. “I don’t know.”

  I was so fucking sick and tired of not knowing though. I’d spent entirely too long living with uncertainty.

  I knew.

  I fucking knew.

  And I was going to make her know too.

  “Damn it, Ash. Give me a fucking chance. I can do this! I swear to God. I can do this.”

  “It’s just . . .” She trailed off, flashing her eyes down at the floor. She stared at her feet for several seconds before slowly looking back up with a huge grin. “I’ve never been on a date.”

  My lips twitched. “Well, now that I know that
, I’m going to have to start you off easy. Can’t pull out the big guns on the first night. I’d just set myself up for failure on the second date.”

  Putting her hands on her hips, she tilted her head. “Is that what you did last night in bed? I thought you were holding out on me.”

  “What the hell, Ash!”

  She burst out laughing.

  “That is not what you are supposed to tell a man! Repeat after me: I ruined you for all men, all the while fulfilling your every fantasy.”

  She continued to laugh as I tugged her against my chest. “See? I told you I was new at this.”

  “You also just like to fuck with me.”

  She folded her arms around my waist and snuggling in impossibly closer. “Yeah, maybe a little bit.”

  “So, dinner and a movie tomorrow night?”

  “Are you going to bring me flowers?”

  I blew out a loud breath. “If you promise to be here in the morning, I’ll bring you whatever you want.”

  “Good. Flowers will be another newsie.”

  I laughed at the memory of her silly list.

  Craning her head back to hold my gaze, she said, “You’re different.”

  “So are you,” I replied, punctuating it with a kiss.

  “You know, that was a very mature conversation we just had.”

  “Right?” I said proudly. “See? We can do this.”

  “No. I think it gave me hives.” She made a show of scratching her arms.

  “Oh, shut up.” I dropped a hand to her ass and nipped at her bottom lip.

  “You know what I bet would cure my hives?”

  “Being tied spread-eagle to my bed?”

  “No,” she answered. Then she leaned in and whispered, “Well, yes, but maybe later.” Stepping out of my grasp, she grandly waved a hand toward my room. “A childish act of rebellion.”

  “Ash,” I warned.

  She took off running to my room. “I’m switching all the labels in your bathroom closet.”

  “Don’t you dare!”

  I started after her, but I was entirely too slow. She was already in the bathroom before I even got to the bedroom.

  I jiggled the handle, but she had locked the door. “Ash, I swear to God,” I growled, but I wasn’t angry in the least.