Roan (Shifters Elite Book 1)

by Ava Benton

  Stupid me, thinking he might’ve done what he did because he felt a connection.

  I ran out of steam pretty quickly, and the tears were dried up by the time I stopped running. I wanted to be alone, but wanted just as much to be safe in the cabin. I hadn’t gone too far—I could still see the light in the kitchen, small but visible through a web of trees.

  There was a little skittering in the underbrush not far from where I stood.

  I jumped, a hand over my heart. I wasn’t exactly an outdoor girl. I had never even been camping.

  My breath hung in the cold air as I started back for the cabin with my arms crossed in front of me with the flashlight held between them.

  The hair stood up on the back of my neck. I didn’t like the feeling. Something was wrong. I picked up speed.

  Then I heard it.

  A footstep. Then another.

  Not mine.

  “Shit,” I whispered, looking around with my breath held. “Who’s there? Roan?”

  Something very big and very heavy lumbered up near me.

  I turned in that direction and found myself staring directly at a black bear.

  “Roan!” I shrieked, backing away on shaking legs.

  What were people supposed to do when confronted by a bear?

  I couldn’t remember.

  I couldn’t think straight about anything. Was I supposed to drop to the ground and cover my head? Could I outrun it? I froze, no longer backing away.

  I couldn’t move.

  I couldn’t hold a thought in my head. All I knew was terror. Adrenaline flooded my system, but I felt instinctively that running was the worst thing I could do.

  The bear lunged at me from feet away.

  I screamed.

  Suddenly, a big mass of gray and white fur leapt in front of me and landed between me and the bear.

  I fell back on my butt and scrambled backward, away from the two animals.

  The flashlight landed on the ground beside me, aimed in their direction.

  I watched as what could only be a wolf challenged the bear. It growled, then snapped its jaws over and over as it advanced on the very pissed off bear.

  The bear swiped at the wolf with one massive paw.

  The wolf ducked the blow, then leaped at the bear. I squeezed my eyes shut as the two of them grappled, snarling and growling.

  I wanted to run away, but was too frightened to move. I could only curl up with my knees to my chest, head tucked in, fingers laced over the back of my neck.

  The fighting stopped.

  I hoped they’d injured each other too much to attack me next.

  Oh, please, God. Please. Please, help me. Please.

  I heard heavy panting in front of me and whimpered.

  It was going to kill me, whatever it was.

  After everything that happened, it seemed ironic that I’d end up dying at the hand of a wild animal in the woods.

  How stupid after all that running.

  And Dad would never know.

  I felt something nudging me.

  Once.

  Twice.

  Touching my arms.

  A cold, wet… nose.

  I tightened the ball I’d curled into and held my breath.

  It was checking to see if I was still alive. The growl right by my ear made my blood run cold.

  It was all over. My life, gone. I was about to be dinner.

  Then, the most shocking thing of all. A lick. It licked my hand, my arm.

  It nudged its snout between my arms and pried them apart. I was face-to-face with the wolf. The biggest wolf I had ever seen. It stared into my eyes.

  I knew those eyes.

  It was impossible, but I knew them.

  “Roan?” I whispered, unable to believe it even as I asked.

  To my shock, the wolf nodded.

  11

  Roan

  I didn’t want to tell her that way.

  I never wanted to tell her at all.

  I hope you can handle this, I thought as I took a few steps away from her. I needed to be able to communicate, but couldn’t as a dire wolf.

  It took me long enough to get her to stop curling up on the ground.

  When I was sure she wouldn’t run—she was still on the ground with her mouth hanging open—I let the shift take place.

  It was like flipping a switch in my head.

  One moment, I was a dire wolf on all fours and covered in shaggy, gray-and-white fur. The next, everything changed.

  The look on her face was priceless as she watched me go from animal to human.

  Tanned skin replaced fur. My snout shortened and my face went back to its normal profile. Fingers replaced claws.

  I crouched there, most of my naked body hidden by shadow, still focused on her face.

  “This isn’t happening,” she whispered. “Things like this don’t happen.”

  “You’re not dreaming.” I stood slowly. What was the point of trying to be modest? “Come on. We have to get back to the cabin before anybody else decides to visit.”

  She scrambled to her feet, with her head whipping back and forth like she was waiting for something to pounce on her. “How do I know coming with you is any better?” she whispered.

  “Have I done anything to hurt you? Last time I checked, you’re the one who cold-cocked me earlier.” I wrapped a hand around her wrist and led her back to the cabin without another word.

  She didn’t fight back. Maybe she was too scared to try.

  I couldn’t help but think back to the first time Dad shifted in front of Slate and me. He knew he needed to get in front of what would eventually start happening to our bodies—it was one thing for a boy to wake up after his first wet dream and wonder what the hell was happening, but turning into a dire wolf?

  I was scared shitless.

  Slate cried.

  Dad had shifted back quickly, but that didn’t make it any less traumatic to watch him go from a man to a beast. Even though he had warned us what we were about to see, nothing could prepare us.

  Nothing could’ve prepared Hope, either.

  Maybe I should’ve told her. Then again, I didn’t think there would be any reason she had to know. I couldn’t have guessed she would run off like she did, though I should’ve known she would push me to the edge. That was who she was.

  When we got inside, she immediately pulled her wrist from my grip and ran to the living room, where she curled up in a ball on the couch. She turned her head away, too, like she didn’t want to see me.

  I didn’t know if that was a modesty thing or a fear thing.

  I picked up my jeans from the floor where I’d left them before shifting—I had already learned years earlier that it was economical to undress before shifting, if at all possible. Otherwise all I had left were shreds of what used to be clothes.

  I stepped over the broken plate and splashes of tomato sauce on my way to the living room. I wouldn’t get up in her personal space, not yet. She shook so hard, I thought she might break.

  “You okay?” I asked. “You didn’t get hurt out there or anything, did you?”

  She shook her head, then pulled her knees closer to her chest and tucked her head down, using her arms to cover up. Just like she did out in the woods.

  “You don’t have to be scared,” I muttered.

  I was at a total loss, standing there in nothing but a pair of jeans, still carrying the scent of a hungry bear in my nostrils. What was I supposed to say to make it better?

  “I don’t?” she whispered.

  “No. Have I done anything to hurt you? If anything, I just saved your life. Again.”

  “Did you get hurt?” She peeked out at me.

  I shook my head. “No. Well, you hurt me a little.” I touched the wound on my forehead. “I think I’ll live.”

  “I didn’t mean to do that.”

  “I know.”

  “Who are you? What are you?” she blurted out. “Jesus Christ, who am I stuck in this cabin with?�
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  “Do you mind if I sit down?”

  She pointed to the opposite end of the couch, which didn’t really matter since the damn thing was so small there wasn’t much space between us no matter how close to the arm I sat.

  “There’s so much. Too much to tell you. More than you probably need to know.”

  “Fuck your need to know rules,” she whispered. “I deserve to know who you really are.”

  I only nodded. “Fair enough. As you can see, I’m a shifter. I change into a dire wolf at will. Me and my brother and my cousins. We’re all the same.” I looked at her to get a reaction.

  She closed her eyes. “You know what it’s like to be different,” she whispered.

  “Yeah. Now you know I wasn’t kidding when I said that.” I looked away, at the wall. Beyond the wall. Through it. “My dad and his brother were the same as us, except they weren’t born that way. Not like us.”

  “Were they bitten or something?”

  I had to laugh. “No. That’s a myth. They were good little soldiers.” I sketched a sarcastic salute. “When the Army wanted them to participate in a set of top-secret experiments, they jumped at the chance. I still don’t understand why. I mean, you hear about experiments taking place and you agree? I don’t get it. But they went along. From what I understand, the reason they were given for being chosen was that they were twins. The doctors wanted to see whether the tests would affect them the same since so much about them was already the same. I can’t believe they bought it—then again, I wasn’t always as jaded as I am now.”

  “Let me guess. They changed them into shifters.”

  “You’re not a genius for nothing,” I smirked. “Yeah. That’s what they did. Some sort of brand-new biological weapon. I mean, why not turn people into wolves? How much more powerful would a country’s military be if everyone in it could shift to a deadly predator at will?”

  “Sick.”

  “Tell me about it. And of course, neither of them knew the purpose of the tests or what would happen when they were over.” I rubbed my hands over my face, lost in memories that weren’t even mine. I’d heard Dad tell the stories again and again. What it was like in the early days, before they understood what had happened to them or who they were. Even the doctors didn’t understand what happened. Something in the DNA their own DNA had fused with created the dire wolves. “It was a success beyond what any of the higher-ups hoped for. You know, the guys who sanctioned the tests.”

  “And it was passed down to you and the others.”

  “Right. Dad and Uncle Pete both took time between deployments after that, but they knew they were being watched. They both settled down and tried to create good lives. Even so, somebody was always watching.”

  “Where are they now?”

  I took a deep breath. “Uncle Pete went MIA back in 2010. We don’t even know where he was when it happened—we’ve never gotten a straight answer. And my dad. He’s gone. He died five years ago. Hit by a car while he was out for a run, and before you ask, no. I don’t think it was just a hit-and-run.”

  “Holy shit.”

  I could see from the corner of my eye that she had uncurled and was actually leaning toward me, hanging on every word.

  “You think they were trying to shut him up, maybe?” Her eyes were wide.

  “It could be. All I know is, we were all active duty then, and there was nothing left of his home or his possessions when we returned. Slate and I got word from a chaplain about his death. We couldn’t even come back for the funeral. It was hell. We hadn’t seen him in years, except for every once in a while between deployments.”

  “I have to say, I can’t believe you would join after knowing what they military did to your family.”

  “We were recruited,” I said with a bitter laugh. “We weren’t given much of a choice. That’s what I meant when I said we were used for special missions. Secret stuff. They used us. I wanted to serve my country—that was the funniest part. I still believed everything was for a bigger purpose, the way my dad tried to teach us. Everything we went through would help people one day. I know that was a crock of shit now. And as soon as word leaked of our existence and how we came to be, they erased us. Concocted some story of how we went ape-shit berserk. Dishonorable discharges all around. I was sure for a while that they’d kill us. I was sure then that they had killed my father and uncle, too.”

  My eyes stung. I willed away the tears. I didn’t cry. I hadn’t even cried when the chaplain told us about Dad dying on an empty road, all alone. “The only thing I have of him is his Harley. That’s all.”

  I almost jumped in surprise when I felt her hand touch my shoulder. “That’s not all you have,” she whispered.

  I turned to her and almost drowned in her glittering, earnest eyes.

  “You have yourself. You’re part of him. You have your memories. Nobody can take them away.”

  She was so close.

  I was sure she’d never want to get that close to me after finding out who I really was.

  Her scent was strong, tantalizing me, pulling me in. Her mouth was only inches from mine. She was offering herself to me, something to lose myself in. Something to help me heal up all the old wounds and pains. I waited with bated breath as she stretched a little to press her lips to my forehead, where she’d hit me.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  Her kiss was like a balm. Her lips skimmed the bridge of my nose as her hands skimmed my shoulders.

  By the time she reached my mouth, there was no holding back. I crushed her to me and drank her up the way I’d wanted to since that first day, hands and mouth and tongue taking all they needed.

  I claimed her lips. I tasted her mouth, my tongue danced with hers in that eternal struggle of passion. Her hands rose, caressing my chest, circling my neck, holding on as if she were drowning, giving just the slightest hint of how much her soul needed mine.

  I lifted my head, barely enough to look in her eyes. She raised her lids, her eyes mirroring the regret that our kiss had ended.

  She drew in a deep breath, her chest expanding, pressing against mine. Her nipples pushed into my flesh while emotions flashed across her face.

  “I want you.”

  There.

  I put it out there.

  I made myself vulnerable. As much as someone like me could.

  12

  Hope

  I looked into Roan’s eyes.

  Their depths were seductive and pulling me in like a whirlpool. More like a tornado, sucking me in completely.

  A surge of emotions flowed throughout my being, a confusing, tumultuous swelling of feelings that I couldn’t identify, but at the same time couldn’t deny.

  Leaning closer to him, I felt the steel shaft of his cock pressing into my back. I could pretend to ignore that, but I couldn’t ignore the response to it that pooled between my legs.

  “So, where were we?”

  I cleared my throat, trying to dispel the effect he had on me.

  Yeah, like that’ll work.

  And not surprisingly, it didn’t. I bit on my bottom lip, worrying it, catching it between my teeth, then releasing it.

  “Quit that.” He touched a finger to my lip, tracing it with his fingertip. “That’s my job.” His head swooped down, almost touching my lips. “You’re mine tonight.” His breath was hot on my cheek, causing a shudder to flow through my body.

  He took me by the shoulders and pulled me close, his eyes piercing, then leaned in, his lips taking mine, bruising them and claiming them. His fingers cupped my cheek, then moved lower to my jawline. His tongue parted my lips, pressing barricades away, owning my tongue, twining with it, not standing for resistance that I wasn’t even in a position to offer. His lips seared mine the same way his soul reached out to mine, the kiss delivering a message that struck my own soul.

  My chest hurt, burning with a need to breathe, reminding me that I held my breath.

  My hands rose, tangling in his hair, pulli
ng his head lower, dying to be lost in him, yearning to feel alive in a way I never had before.

  With him.

  13

  Roan

  I took everything that kiss had to offer me, relishing her surrender, reveling in her strength, loving her submission, completely encompassed by her.

  My eyes were open, studying the desire that washed over her features, imagining what it would be like when I entered her body, pushing deep into her, watching her eyes widen with that penetration of her body and her soul, claiming her as my mate.

  A snarl deep in my brain reminded me that imagining it would be nothing like enjoying it, and that I should be enjoying it. I didn’t want to scare this woman with my intensity. She’d been through so much in her life; that was clear in her soul, and it shone in her eyes when she forgot to guard against it.

  The wolf in me pulled at me to give them her what she wanted. What she needed. Craved. Yearned. I wanted to be so deep in her wetness that she’d pulse against me when she came. Each orgasm would tighten her muscles which would in turn coerce and coax me to a climax of my own.

  I groaned against her mouth.

  “Tell me that I can have you. Tell me that you want me. I have to know you want me. I won’t take anything from you that you don’t give me willingly.”

  “Yes.” Her hissed reply pulled at me.

  My cock strained in its confines.

  My wolf rushed forward.

  14

  Hope

  My hissed reply came from deep within.

  Roan’s picked me up and carried me to the table, where he shoved everything aside and set me down. “I want you.” His words were almost a snarl. He lowered his head and groaned into our melded lips.

  “Roan.” His name slid off my lips with ease, with the same sense of belonging that my own name did.

  His teeth nipped at my jawline, traveling downward, and his tongue trailed hotness down my neck to the neckline of my blouse.