A Baby Between Them

by Winnie Griggs

  “So that was why she never married him,” Bridget whispered.

  “That poor man.” Maeve swallowed. “I hope, in the end, he came to know Jesus.”

  “I think perhaps he did,” Nora said slowly. “I saw his headstone in the churchyard. It had John 14:6 engraved on it.”

  Maeve nodded, quoting the familiar scripture. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

  “Oh, I wish Mother could have known.” Bridget’s eyes were gleaming with unshed tears again. “That would have made her so happy.”

  “She knows now,” Nora said softly. She set the letter back in the box and closed the lid. “I think we should put this right back where we found it. I can plant that bush a few feet to the left.”

  Bridget and Maeve both nodded agreement.

  As they placed the box back in the hole and Nora began scooping dirt back on top, Bridget leaned against the handle of her hoe and looked around.

  “This is so beautiful,” she said. “Not just in the way it looks but in the sweet spirit that resides here. Mother would have loved it.”

  Nora nodded. “It’s more than just that,” she said. “I love it here, and not only because it is the refuge we ran to when we were turned out back in Castleville. I love this garden. I love the new family I’ve found—both the ones you two married into and the Coulters. I love this town and its generous people who welcomed us so wonderfully.”

  And, whether he’s willing to accept it or not, I love Cameron Long. But she didn’t say that out loud.

  The trio made quick work of planting the last rosebush then decided it was time to have a bit of light refreshment. As they headed back to the house, Maeve and Bridget paused to talk to the twins and admire the miniature structures they’d constructed of twigs and vines. Nora proceeded on to the house, mentally planning what she would serve her guests. When she stepped onto the back porch, however, she stopped short. Gavin and Mollie sat on the porch swing, and both were radiating happiness and cooing over Grace who lay gurgling happily in Mollie’s lap.

  It was the perfect picture of a happy family. And it broke a small piece of her heart.

  Gavin spied her first and scrambled to his feet, his face flushing guiltily. “Miss Nora. Hello. I, uh, I was just…”

  Mollie rose more gracefully and stood beside him, intertwining her hand with his. “Gavin just proposed to me,” she said, her joy obvious. “And I accepted.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  That afternoon, Nora sat on the same grassy dune she and Cam had once shared, but today she shared it with Grace. The little girl lay on a blanket beside her, gurgling happily and whisking at the air with her hands and feet.

  She smiled down at the child’s vigorous play. Grace was getting so big. Soon she would be rolling over on her own and then later learning to crawl. There’d be no stopping her then.

  Nora leaned back on her hands, listening to the seabirds and staring out over the ocean. So vast, so majestic, so timeless—a metaphor for God himself.

  After a time, she smiled back down at Grace. “Thank you, little one, for coming into my life when you did, for adding sunshine and unconditional love and purpose to my world when I was struggling to find all three. You’ve given me a sweet taste of motherhood and a fathomless joy. I will always, always love you, no matter what.”

  The distant sound of footsteps intruded but she didn’t look up. She didn’t have to.

  “I figured I’d find you out here.” Cam plopped down beside her, sandwiching her between himself and Grace.

  “I like the sound of the ocean waves.”

  “I heard Gavin proposed to Mollie.”

  Nora nodded. “Mollie is over the moon. And I’m very happy for them.”

  “You don’t think it’s too soon? It wasn’t very long ago that he wanted me to lock her up.”

  Nora shrugged. “Who’s to say how long it takes someone to fall in love?” She tried not to think of her own experience with romantic love. “It looks like there’ll be two weddings this month.” She hoped her tone was as light as she intended. “I assume Ben’s wedding will come first so Gavin can have a place to move his bride into.”

  “That’s the plan. Which means Mollie will be moving out of your house soon.”

  “Yes.” She kept her eyes focused on the ocean, not trusting herself to meet his gaze just yet. “Which I guess also means there’s no need for you to spend your nights out here anymore either.” They both knew there’d been no need for quite some time.

  She reached over and tickled Grace’s toes, smiling when the baby laughed. “And Grace will be going with Mollie of course.” Her traitorous lip betrayed her, trembling on the last word.

  “Ah, Nora honey.” He pulled her close against him and stroked her hair. She couldn’t bring herself to pull away. “You know you don’t have to do this.”

  “Yes, I do. Cam, it’s okay, really.” She rested a palm against his shirt, right over the spot that protected his heart. Her own pulse responded to the strong, warm beat beneath her hand.

  He placed his own hand over hers, his gesture comforting, protective. And something else she didn’t dare dwell on.

  “I’ve made my peace with it,” she assured him. “Mollie has turned into a fine young woman and Gavin will make a terrific father. You only have to see how he is with his brothers to know that.” She forced a smile. “And they’ll be right here in Faith Glen where I can watch Grace grow up and maybe be a part of her life.”

  * * *

  Cam brushed the hair off Nora’s face, wishing he could brush away her pain as easily. She was hurting inside, but, being Nora, she wouldn’t let it defeat her. “She’ll be lucky to have you in her life.” As would anyone. “It’s okay to cry if you want to,” he told her. Though her tears would be like daggers to him. “I won’t tell anyone.”

  “I’m going to miss her, of course, more than I can say. And Mollie, too, truth be told. But I think I understand now, something of what God has been doing with my life.”

  She always seemed to look for lessons in her circumstances. “What do you mean?”

  “For a long time I was angry with Him for all the people He’s taken from me. I wouldn’t admit it at the time, but the anger was there just the same. But what I’ve learned these past few weeks, since Mollie came along, is that I should instead be grateful for the time He allowed me to have with those special people.”

  Cam ached for the hurt she’d felt, and admired her ability to find joy in it.

  She pulled slightly away from him and met his gaze with eyes that shone with her passion for this lesson she’d learned. “Imagine, for three months, I had the privilege of getting to be a mother to the most beautiful baby in the world, got to keep her safe while He worked in her mother’s life to bring her back to His side. That privilege could have been given to anyone else on that ship, but God put Grace in my hands.” She paused, staring out over the ocean again. “Who am I to be angry that He didn’t leave her with me longer?”

  Cam looked into her face and saw how deeply she believed every word of what she was saying. Her faith was amazing and beautifully submissive—it both astounded and humbled him.

  Then she surprised him yet again by moving out of his embrace and sitting up with her hands clasped together on her knees. “Now, enough on that subject. The matter of Grace is settled and while it may feel bittersweet now, we will both resolve to be happy at the outcome.”

  He nodded. “Yes, ma’am. So what shall we discuss? The weather? Mrs. Fitzwilliam’s building plans?”

  She cut him a prim look of disapproval for his levity. “Actually, I do have some things I want to say to you, and you will sit there and listen to me.”

  Uh-oh. That statement didn’t bode well for him.

  “But first I want to ask you a question and I want you to be totally honest, no matter what you think I want to hear, because this is important. Promise?”

  Seeing h
er earnestness, he nodded. “Of course—I promise.”

  “Do you think it’s a mistake to hand Grace over to Mollie? Do you think that Mollie will be a bad mother, that she might not take proper care of Grace once she’s on her own with her?”

  She’d seemed so sure of her decision a moment ago. Was she having second thoughts now? Or was she just trying to get a different perspective? Well, she’d asked him to be honest. “No, of course I don’t think she’ll be a bad mother. Mollie loves Grace, it’s as obvious as the sun in the sky. She’ll put Grace’s well-being above her own and no one could take better care of her.” He tapped her nose. “Except you.”

  Nora gave him an approving smile. “So, just because her momentary inattention allowed that accident down by the pond, she shouldn’t cut herself off from ever taking care of children again?”

  He stiffened. Too late he realized where she was going. “What happened at the Gallaghers’ is not the same as what happened all those years ago when I was supposed to be watching Tommy.”

  Her gaze never left his. “It’s not?”

  “No.” Maybe if he was blunt enough she would drop the subject. “For one thing, nobody died.”

  To his surprise, she didn’t back down. “But that’s no thanks to Mollie. Her lapse of attention could quite easily have resulted in a much more tragic outcome. Maybe next time it will.”

  He clamped his lips shut, wanting to put an end to this discussion. He’d come out here to comfort her, not dredge his past up again.

  But apparently Nora wasn’t finished with him. “And what about me?” she asked. “My lapse had much more serious consequences. Maybe I shouldn’t be left alone with a child again.”

  Now she was being just plain ridiculous. “Nora, you’ve been the most careful mother I have ever come across.”

  She shook her head and he saw the sadness creep into her eyes. “Have you already forgotten that it was my fault Grace was kidnapped?” She reached down to let Grace grab hold of her finger. “I left this sweet, helpless babe, who depended on me to keep her safe, all alone in the kitchen, knowing the outside door was wide open. Thanks to my negligence, a stranger walked right into my house and stole my baby. We got her back eventually, but only because the kidnapper returned her. If Mollie had decided to leave town with her, we might have never seen Grace again, might never have known what became of her.”

  She shuddered and Cam felt as if he’d been punched in the gut.

  Had she really blamed herself for what happened? He should have realized what she was going through and reassured her. “Nora, honey, you couldn’t have anticipated such a thing. And you were just in the next room. You can’t be with her every second. No one blames you for what happened.”

  She raised a brow and he suddenly remembered the point she was trying to make.

  “Exactly.” She poked him in the chest. “So, if things had turned out differently, if we’d never seen Grace again, should I have vowed never to take on responsibility for a child ever again, have cut myself off from the possibility of having a family of my own someday?”

  Everything inside him protested that vision. Nora was made to be a mother. She had so much love to give, so much warmth to share. To let that one lapse ruin her future was unthinkable. Especially since he knew that what she saw as a lapse would make her even more diligent in the future.

  His own situation was entirely different.

  Wasn’t it?

  Nora apparently tired of waiting for him to answer her. “You told me the dark secret from your past and put it forth as the reason why you will never let yourself be responsible for a child again. Now I’m going to explain to you why you are absolutely, positively, completely wrong in your thinking.”

  She stared earnestly into his eyes. “What happened was a tragic accident, but an accident nonetheless. I know you like to think you are somehow more capable of looking out for others than most people and so should be held to a higher standard than anyone else, but that kind of thinking is not only misguided, it’s just plain prideful. And pride is a sin.” Her lips curved slightly. “I should know.”

  He couldn’t share her smile.

  “You care about people,” she continued. “You care deeply. It’s why you became a sheriff, and why you’re so good at it. It’s why you keep a close eye on troublemakers and an even closer eye on folks like the Coulters who have no one else to care for them.”

  He tried to say something but she wasn’t finished.

  “When Grace was taken—” she shivered “—you were the first one out looking for her each day and the last one to come back in every evening. There was no doubt that you cared very deeply about Grace and would have been as devastated as I if we hadn’t found her.” She narrowed her eyes as if in accusation. “That’s not a man who should think twice about the kind of father he would make.”

  She reached down and lifted Grace, blanket and all, then stood over him with her precious burden.

  “God will forgive you for what happened if you ask Him to. You just need to learn to forgive yourself.”

  He saw some strong emotion flicker in her expression that he was afraid to identify.

  “Do something for me,” she said. “Sit here awhile, stare out at God’s marvelous creation and really think about what I’ve said.” Then she turned and walked along the beach, back toward the cottage.

  Cam, his heart weighted down by the sadness in her eyes, turned and stared out over the ocean as she’d requested.

  He plucked a handful of rocks from the ground beside him and began flinging them, one at a time, toward the water.

  Nora was a sweet, tender, generous person. She was facing the end of her role as mother to Grace and she was doing it with dignity and grace despite her heartache.

  Yet in the midst of this turmoil, she had taken time to try to heal his hurts, as well. And it hadn’t been a halfhearted attempt. His lips curved in a tender smile as he thought about her passionate defense of him.

  He only wished things could be as simple as she tried to make them sound.

  He flung one last rock and then leaned back, letting the peace of his surroundings flow over him. Despite his resolve to the contrary, her words kept coming back to him, over and over.

  She’d said his problem was pride, but this didn’t feel like pride. On the other hand, how did he feel about her own so-called negligence that had allowed Grace to be kidnapped? If that had been him, he knew that he’d never have forgiven himself, would have seen it as further proof of his failings. Yet it had never once occurred to him to blame Nora for her role in allowing Grace to be taken. And it still didn’t. What she did was perfectly innocent, perfectly reasonable given the situation.

  Was this “different standard,” as she called it, that he held himself to truly an outgrowth of the worst kind of pride?

  For the first time since it had happened, he willingly recalled the events of that long-ago night. He felt again the stifling heat of that garret room, felt again the bone-deep weariness he experienced from working all day in the factory and trying to keep himself awake at night to watch Tommy. He crossed the room to get a dipper of tepid water from the bucket on the table. Tommy’s laughter made him smile and he turned just in time to see the boy run to catch the moth. He could still feel the splash of the water as the dipper fell from his hands, could hear his voice yelling for Tommy to stop, could still feel the pounding of his pulse as he tried to get across the room in time. But Tommy was too enthralled to listen and Cam’s own reflexes were too slow for him to stop what was happening.

  Cam shook his head, trying to push the nightmare away, but his brain refused to let him. And suddenly he pictured Nora in that same scene. He stood in the corner of the room and watched as she took his place. He saw her face twist in horror and grief as the final scene played out and what he felt for her was compassion and a soul-deep desire to comfort her and wipe away her tears. There was no trace of condemnation or recrimination for her.

  He pictu
red that twelve-year-old boy as someone else and his perception of what had happened shifted, changed. No one could be everywhere at once. Sometimes terrible things happened without being anyone’s fault.

  Tommy’s death had been horrifying and tragic, yes. But it had also been an accident. He would carry the painful memory of what had happened with him all of his life, he knew that. And that was as it should be. It was the burden he had to bear for his part in what had happened.

  But that memory had lost its power over him. It was no longer a poison that was killing any chance he had at true joy. It had become more of a warning beacon, a reminder of what could happen when he dropped his vigilance.

  Cam closed his eyes and offered up a silent prayer of thanksgiving. He felt freer, lighter than he had in a very long time.

  Then he stood and headed down the beach. There was something very important that he had to do.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Nora stepped off the back porch and headed for the garden. Mollie was giving Grace her bottle and Nora was feeling restless. Had she done the right thing by confronting Cam the way she had? It was so hard to know how much to push and how much to let him work out on his own.

  But she’d never been the patient type.

  She paused in front of the bench, running a hand across the now smooth, sturdy arm of the thing. Cam had put so much of himself into this place. She could barely look around without seeing evidence of his handiwork.

  “Hello again.”

  Nora whirled around to see Cam watching her, a strangely intense light in his eyes. She swallowed, trying to moisten her suddenly dry throat. “You seem to have made it your mission to come upon me unawares today.”

  “I did as you asked.”

  “Oh?” Something about the way he was looking at her was making her pulse flutter.

  “Yes.” His lips curved in a crooked half smile. “I find it’s often in my best interest to heed your advice.”