Mariah: The M Series: Book Two

by Ryanne Anthony

  He read my thoughts. “Mariah, don't run. Talk to me.”

  Don't panic. Sit still, talk and listen. Hear him out! Damn it, I want that birthday wish!

  “How do you know you're feeling love,” I whispered.

  “When I see you I smell flowers that aren't there. I heard birds singing in my ears. My heart races. I think about you and I just wanna... ” He grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him. I inhaled him deeply and the throbbing was back in an instant.

  “I can’t even imagine going another day without you being mine,” he whispered at my ear. “There are those fucking birds again.”

  “Maybe you're schizophrenic,” I murmured.

  He laughed again. “No, baby. I swear it's all you. I've never felt like this before. I love you.” He rubbed my neck pulse again and I melted into him.

  “You're making me not want to talk, Marcus,” I softly confessed.

  He dropped his hand. “Sorry, baby; I just have to touch you.”

  “Just hold my hand for now.”

  He smiled as he took my hand then entwined our fingers.

  “I've never... no man has ever...” I stammered, trying to get the words in order.

  Say it. Please.

  I stared at our hands and took a deep breath. Here we go.

  “Marcus, the last time a man said he loved me... it was always before or after he hit me,” I whispered.

  Silence. I slowly looked at his face, dreading what I'll see.

  Anger was all over his face. My heartbeat picked up as panic set in.

  Be still... he's not Vince.

  “Nathan didn't say... he just said the guy was rough with you last February, that you can't trust men because of it. Nothing about... beatings,” Marcus shouted as he jumped off the couch.

  “He doesn't even know the brunt of it, though I think he suspects. Mom and Lisa don't even know,” I said, still whispering, pleading.

  Oh, God… not him, too! Please let him calm down. I don’t want to leave.

  “Fucking...” he muttered, as he paced the length of the desk. He wasn’t looking at me but I could see the anger on his face. His hands were balled up and they were almost purple. The sight made my eyes water. How could I have been so wrong about this guy, too?

  “I understand if this changes everything,” I said quietly, praying I could get him to calm with words alone. “I didn't mean to make you angry with me.”

  He stopped in his tracks, then turned and glared at me.

  Okay, Marcus, that look is not helping.

  “What? What are you talking about,” he murmured, confusion all over his face.

  I looked at my hands as tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. My fear was taking over and I needed to leave. I really hoped he and I would work and now, I couldn’t see how it ever could. I wiped the tears from my face, then grabbed my purse and stood. I pulled out my phone and spoke fast.

  “Please, don't be angry with me. I sh-should leave now. I'll call a cab. What's the address here?” I was whispering again. I couldn't look at him again because I hated him like this; him being angry with me and would be beyond crushed if he became violent, just like Vince was with me.

  “Mariah,” Marcus called, walking over. He stood in front of me and when he reached for me, I recoiled. It was involuntary.

  His hand dropped immediately and he looked at me with shock and hurt. Seeing that look, tears drowned my face. I didn't mean to hurt him. That’s the last thing I’d ever wanted to do.

  “I'm-I'm-I'm s-s-sorry! I didn't mean to,” I cried at him. I was shuddering and sobbing so hard I could barely breathe. My purse and phone dropped to the floor and I put my face in my hands and wailed as I dropped to the floor, myself.

  Marcus' voice was just over my head. He had crouched down near me.

  “Mariah, please calm down. Stop crying, baby. Please.”

  I cried harder at his soft, pleading tone. I’ve fucked this up. He definitely won’t want me now. I brought my knees to my chest, gripped then put my head on them.

  “Mariah, I can't take this. I need to hold you. I just want to hold you. Baby, please... just give me a sign that it's okay to touch you!”

  I hesitated for a moment then leaned toward him. It was all I could do. He inhaled sharply then I was in his arms, on his lap. He puts his hand on the side of my head and leaned me to his chest. His thumb stroked my ear.

  “Shh. Shh. I’ve got you, always, baby. Please, calm down.”

  I tried but I couldn't. Heaving sobs rushed through me. Marcus rocked me until I had no more left. He gave me a pack of tissue with little yellow birds on the package and I smiled through my rescinding tears.

  Of course. A pediatrician with tissue equals little cartoon birdies. I took one out and cleaned my face. He still hadn't let me go.

  “Please don't be angry with me,” I said, sniffling.

  “Mariah, I –”

  “I don't have to be here. I can leave.”

  “No!”

  He grabbed my chin and pushed up so I could look him in the eyes.

  “I don't want you to leave. I was not and am not angry with you. I was thinking of ways I could get away with killing the fucker that hurt you,” he muttered.

  I sniffed. “Really?”

  “Yes, baby. What he did to you was not your fault. He should have his balls handed to him on a fucking lid from a garbage can.”

  I shuddered at his tone. He held me tighter. How the hell could I ever think he was anything like Vince?

  “Mariah, what happened with him?”

  I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I should tell him and get it over with. Would he still want me after? My heart clenched at the thought that he might walk away. What do I do?

  “Please. Tell me,” he urged.

  Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. Okay. Go!

  “When I met him he was kind and sweet. I was sitting in a coffee shop, between classes, and he walked in and sat down like he knew me; just started talking to me. He charmed me and I agreed to a date. Things were good for a couple of weeks but then I had gotten a migraine. It was May, a few days before Mother’s Day.

  “The migraine had me down for two days, and my mom made me rest a third. Everything was shut off, including every phone. When I made a date with him to explain what happened, he asked if I could meet him at his place and I agreed. When I went in, he kissed me and declared his love then asked me sweetly where I had been, making me think he was concerned and I immediately relaxed.”

  I shuddered. Marcus slowly rubbed my arm. “Please, go on.”

  “Okay. I told him of my migraines and how they knock me down. He didn't believe me and accused me of cheating, whoring, and anything else he could think of. Then he slapped me and it landed on my ear. I hit the floor and my ear started ringing. He pulled me up and dragged me to his bed. He tried to rape me but... he didn't have... he couldn't... ”

  Marcus muttered a curse, soft and angry. “I get it. Go on.”

  “He never could. He and I never...” I sighed, grateful we never had sex. “He hit me again, repeatedly. When he finally drove me home, he apologized; said he didn't know why he got so angry and jealous. He said he loved me a second time and it wouldn't happen again. He begged me to see him again. I stupidly did.

  “It went on for months. Nothing I ever did was right. If I arrived eight seconds late or I had too much blue on... whatever the problem was, it resulted in a punch or slap somewhere on my body where a bruise could not be seen. Mom was on cloud nine, falling in love with Pops, so I couldn't bring myself to tell her what was happening. Nathan knew something was wrong but I couldn't confess it, even though he and I are best friends and always swore we wouldn't keep secrets from one another.

  “I just knew I was the problem. My therapist helped me see why I kept going back. I missed a man telling me he loved me. My father used to tell me at least twice a day, every day and then abruptly it ended. I missed it and Vince was the first since him, but his al
ways came before and after his fist. I had to learn to disassociate. Dr. Wilson spent an hour every day helping me heal from Vince's abuse.”

  I sighed. “I had gotten my usual migraine on December twelfth, and I got a bruised rib for disappearing, as he called it, and as always there was an ‘I'm so sorry’ and an ‘I love you’.”

  “Usual? Why that date?”

  “That's another story,” I whispered.

  He paused. “The burn,” he asked softly.

  “Yes.”

  Marcus started rubbing my back, the same way as Lisa. “Okay. Go on, please.”

  “Pops took me to lunch in early February and, after, he asked if he could propose to my mother on Valentine's Day, with me there. I was so ecstatic I blurted it out to Vince before I could think. He looked at me with the hardest, coldest eyes I had ever seen. He started ranting, demanding to know why I didn’t think that he had plans for us on Valentine's. He then accused me of running off somewhere with Nathan and getting my kicks off with him, since he couldn't 'service' me. He and Nathan despised each other from the moment they met.

  “We were in his car in the back of my building and I jumped out to get away because I knew what was coming. I heard the car door slam and ran but as I got to the back door, he pounced on me from behind.”

  “Fuck,” Marcus muttered.

  I continued, feeling liberated as I told the complete story for the first time ever. I had to keep going.

  “He hit me everywhere and hard. I screamed, begging for help and for him to stop but it was mid-day, so no one was home. That beating felt like it lasted forever. Then I heard a man's voice scream out my address. I felt Vince being lifted off of me, and I rolled over in the snow to see what was happening. Nathan was beating the shit out of Vince, using obscenities that I'd never heard in anger, or foul language in disgust come out of Nathan's mouth before. Then there were sirens. Vince tried to get away, but Nathan prevented it.

  “My father was a sergeant with the Evanston Police, so when Nathan called in giving my name and address, half of the department showed up. Vince was arrested right away, screaming they had it all wrong; that it was Nathan beating me and he saved me from him and that he loved me. My dad's last partner, Richard, was there, and he'd met Nathan before. He knew he wouldn't touch me, that we were friends.”

  “I am forever in Nathan's debt,” he said, then kissed my hair.

  Marcus held me tighter as my tears began to fall again... tears of relief.

  “What happened to that asshole, baby? Do you know?”

  “He was charged with attempted manslaughter and pled guilty to assault with intent. He got ten years. I think he'll be out in eight, with good behavior.”

  “Your mother still doesn't know what that fucker did to you?”

  “No, she thinks the bruises I had were from a sledding accident with Nathan. He took quite a tongue-lashing from my mom, at my request. After her reaction to sledding, he knew she would completely blow if she knew the truth. It took her quite a while to forgive him. I tried to keep up a normal routine for a while but when Mom married Pops and they wanted me to move to California, I accepted but only after I graduated, but, in the end, I was glad to get away from the daily reminder of what happened.”

  “And no one else knows?”

  “Pops knows what happened. Richard called him. They met once when Richard and his wife came by for a visit while Pops was in town.”

  Marcus exhaled deeply. “No wonder you recoiled from me,” he sighed and bear hugged me. “I'm sorry I frightened you. I would never touch you in that way. You know that, don't you?”

  I looked at him and saw all the love that's there, something I never saw in Vince's cold, sterile eyes.

  “Yes, Marcus, I know. I'm sorry for the recoil; it was involuntary.”

  “I know, baby.”

  He held me and rubbed my back again as I thought about how relieved I felt now that I've told him one of the worse parts of my life. I touched my burn and decided I should to tell him about my dad and the twins, if I hadn't scared him too much already.

  “Marcus?”

  “What, baby,” he murmured.

  “I have something else to tell you, okay?”

  “December twelfth?”

  “Yes,” I confirmed.

  He's silent. I lean back and look at him, searching his eyes.

  “We can save it for another day. I don't have to tell you.”

  “I want to know everything about you,” he murmured, caressing my wet cheek. “I'm just wondering if you can take anymore today.”

  “I want to, Marcus. I feel a need to tell you, now. I want no secrets between us and for you to know exactly who you've fallen in love with; what I've come from and been through, so you can decide if you want to be with me, damaged as I am.”

  He shook his head at me. “You are not damaged and there is nothing you can tell me that will make stop loving you or wanting to be with you, baby.”

  “Nothing?”

  “Not one thing.”

  I searched his eyes then nodded. “Okay. I want to tell you now.”

  “I'm listening,” he murmured.

  I wrapped my arms around him and softly told him all about my dad, the twins, Aunt Mattie, the accident, Miss Helen and my touch-and-go time in the hospital. As the story went on, Marcus stilled and made no comments.

  When I finished, I exhaled with a low, guttural sound. Tension left my being with my story. I continued to sit on his lap as I waited for him to respond or ask questions. He didn’t; he just sat there, quietly... too quietly and I started to worry. It was a bit much for a person to take in one day.

  I felt a drop of water on my shoulder. Then another. I wiped it and another drop hit my hand. What the...? Where was it coming from? We were on the top floor but it wasn’t raining outside.

  Marcus’ hand goes to his face. I looked up at him and his eyes and cheeks were wet. My heart wrenched. I felt panic going through me again.

  “Marcus,” I called in a whisper.

  “Baby...” he croaked then tightened his arms around me and pressed his forehead to mine.

  “Tell me what's wrong, boo.”

  I had never seen a man cry. It's heartbreaking and real.

  “Marcus, you're scaring me...” I whispered.

  “Christ… losing your father, those babies. And I almost lost you... and I didn't... I wouldn't have known it; never would have known you were once…”

  I gasped. It hurt to see him like this. I hated to see my man in so much pain.

  My man. My man. Yes, he is mine. My arrogant, loving, exasperating, caring, beautiful, black-haired, sexy, blue-eyed man.

  And I love him.

  He relaxed and nuzzled my neck then kissed my burn, over and over, gripping me tight.

  “I am so sorry about your father and the twins. I can only imagine how you and your mother survived it all. I love you so much, baby. I wish you knew, could feel what I feel for you. I would have never found love if you had not made it through that accident. I want to tell you every day, forever, how much I love you.”

  We have to tell him.

  I took a deep, deep breath and exhaled.

  “I love you, Marcus,” I whispered.

  He froze and slowly lifted his head, his eyes pierced into mine, showing his shock. “What? Baby? Did you just say --?”

  “Yes, I did, Marcus. I love you.”

  He took my lips in a kiss that lit a fire all over my body. I needed to have him inside me. I wanted to touch him. Feel him. Love him.

  I ran my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer and he cupped my bottom, caressing it eagerly. I couldn't take it anymore. I reached for his shorts and attempted to unbutton them. He stilled my hands and pulled his mouth from mine.

  “No, not in here. Bed,” he demanded.

  We rose from the floor and toed off our shoes. He grabbed my hand and practically dragged me out of the office. We were in double time, damn near running to his bedroom. As
soon as we crossed the threshold, he pulled me into a kiss that was so sweet and tender, I melted in his arms.

  “Stay,” he whispered and released me. He stepped back, pulled his shirt over his head and threw it over the bench at the end of the four-poster bed. He put a CD in a stereo on the wall and hits a button. Marcus went over to the bed and pulled back the linen. Robin Thicke began to croon softly in the background.

  I smiled. I knew that song.

  Marcus eased back to me and puts his arms around my waist, I put my arms around his neck, he lowers his forehead to mine, and we slow danced to the music. His arms tightened around then he lifted me. I pulled his mouth to mine and kissed him passionately as he carried me all the way into the room, next to the bed.

  We never broke that kiss.

  Marcus slowly lowered me to the floor. He reached behind my neck to untie my dress. I unfastened his belt and shorts, and they fell to the floor. He kicked them away. A second later, my dress was undone and it landed in a pool on the floor. His hands slid up my back and his fingers quickly unhooked my strapless bra and tossed it to the side of us.

  We never broke that kiss.

  Marcus’ hands moved down my waist, the tips of his fingers slid inside my panties and, keeping his thumbs on the outside of them, he lowered them, and himself slowly. He finally broke the kiss on his way down to capture my nipple in his mouth and suck seductively. My sex throbbed.

  I put my hands on his shoulders and lifted one leg then the other and he tossed them near his shorts. He stood slowly, kissing up my body. His long tongue flicked my sex. I moaned loudly.

  Standing erect again, he attempted to kiss me again but I turned my head.

  “Oh, no, Dr. Alexander... tit-for-tat,” I murmured.

  “What,” he frowned, sounding confused.

  I smiled and put my hands in his boxer briefs and began to slide them down, I licked both nipples and squatted down to the floor. I flicked the crown of his cock with my tongue.

  “Mmm,” he groaned as I continued, taking his underwear all the way down. He lifted one leg at a time and soon his underwear joined mine on the floor. As I rose, I looked up at him and my tongue flicked his crown again on my way up.