"No one deserves to lose their virginity like this, with someone like me, especially not you," I mumbled.
Nicole sat up and wrapped her arms around my neck, her mouth finding and kissing my ear. "It has nothing to do with where it happened, Sean, and everything to do with the person I shared it with."
"I know, and that's the problem. Your first time shouldn't have been with a cripple, Nicole. It's not fair to you. I'm only half a man. I can't do the things to you I want to do."
"Stop it right now, Sean. You're more of a man than anyone I've ever known. If your missing leg was a problem for me, I never would've invited you into my life, let alone my bedroom."
I turned my head to look at her. I'd never seen so much truth in one person's eyes before. "What're you saying?"
I'm pretty sure I understood her, but I wanted to be one hundred percent sure, because at the moment, I was feeling real shitty about what just happened.
She smiled. "All that matters to me is it happened with you, Sean. That's what makes it so special. I care about you. A lot."
My heart swelled so large I thought for sure it would explode in my chest. I pulled her onto my lap and kissed her languidly. "No regrets?"
"None."
A small part of me wondered if she'd said that just to spare my feelings. I hoped that wasn't the case, but I wasn't positive. "Are you sure?" I traced her lips with my finger before leaning down and kissing her again.
"Mmm hmm." She nodded and licked her lips. "I just want to be with you, Sean. I like how you make me feel."
All the insecurities I'd had about Nicole not wanting me or not being able to love me disappeared. "I want that, too." She moved and I screamed in pain, grabbing at my stump. Nicole jumped off my lap so quick I thought she was going to fall.
"Oh my God, Sean, are you okay? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." She cupped her hands over her mouth and shook her head.
I gritted my teeth and breathed through the pain until it subsided. "I know, its okay. I'm okay," I assured her.
"You don't look okay." She chewed nervously on her bottom lip. Tears glistened in her eyes. "Do you want me to take you back to the center or something?"
I looked over at Nicole, who was clear on the other side of the bed, and gave her a weak smile. "No, I don't want to go back to the center. I want to stay here with you." And I truly did. "In my coat pocket is a prescription. Could you get it for me?"
Nicole nodded then kneeled beside me, kissing me lightly on the lips. "I'll understand if you don't stay, Sean. You need to take care of yourself."
I took her face into my hands and looked at her pointedly. "I’m staying right here with you, Nicole." Then I kissed her again before adding, "I just need to check in at the center to let them know I won't be coming back tonight."
She let out a little squeal of delight, causing me to laugh.
"There's a phone on the night stand," she said, nodding toward it. "I'll go get you your medicine and some water."
"Thanks," Despite the pain, my excitement couldn't be contained as I picked up the phone and dialed the center. Beth answered and I quickly identified myself and then I told her I was staying with a friend for the night. She didn't ask any questions, which was good. I assured her I'd be back in time for my physical therapy session tomorrow then I hung up. Just as I got comfortable again, Nicole came back into the room.
She smiled, "Everything okay?"
"It'll be better once you get over here," I said.
Nicole sauntered toward me and handed me my medication and a glass of ice water. I quickly swallowed the pills as she climbed into bed. "So, uh, how do you want to do this?" she asked. "I don't want to hurt you again."
"Lay over here, on my right side," I said. As soon as she was settled, I pulled her to me for a kiss. And that's all it took, just one kiss to ignite the passion between us. It raged out of control. Unfortunately, I was in too much pain to make love to her again, even though I desperately wanted to. Instead, I kissed every inch of her body before pleasing her with my fingers. She rewarded me with moans and murmurs of pleasure. God, I loved being with her, holding her, feeling her come apart in my arms because of what I was doing to her.
"Sean!" she cried out as she reached the peak of her orgasm.
I held her tightly to me, being relentless in my ministrations until I felt her slowly start to come down, tremors shaking her body. "God, Nicole," I said, planting firm kisses along her collarbone.
"That was amazing," she said with a laugh. "I didn't know that was possible."
I smiled against her neck. "Mmm, I can't wait to show you what else is possible."
We stayed like that for a few more minutes then eased my fingers out of her. I put my arm around her and pulled her to me. She snuggled close, draping her arm across my stomach, and resting her head on my chest. I squeezed her closer to me, my fingers grazing up and down her bare arm, my thumb drawing circles on her shoulder blade. I couldn't remember a time when things had felt so perfect.
Nicole sighed with content. "Thanks for staying," she said.
I kissed the top of her head. "I will always stay with you, Nicole. All you ever have to do is ask."
My eyelids were heavy, but I fought to keep them open a little while longer. There was something nagging at me and I knew I wouldn't rest until I had an answer. "Why hadn't you ever had sex before?"
"I never wanted to," she stated and then added, "I've never trusted anyone enough to let them get that close to me."
"But you let me tonight. Why?" That was what I really wanted to know. Why me?
She folded her hands on my chest, rested her chin on them, and looked at me. "Because I trust you," she said as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
I vowed to myself I would never do anything to break her trust because I knew if I did, I'd lose her faster than I'd found her. And that wasn't something I could ever live with. Nicole scooted up and gave me a kiss before settling back down beside me. We talked for a while, until my meds fully kicked in and I couldn't stay awake any longer. I fell asleep with her cradled in my arms.
CHAPTER 11
Nicole Baker
Sean slept with his arm around me all night. The side of my face was sweaty from being on his chest all night. I'd felt him shift during the night and each time he did, I'd move away for fear of hurting him again. He’d always pull me right back to him. Around six a.m. I managed to roll onto my side with my back to him. I was surprised to feel him roll over and put his arm around my waist. We'd slept naked, which was a first for me, and I could feel his erection poking me. I wiggled closer and he groaned. A smile curved my lips when I felt Sean kiss my shoulder then my neck. It sent tingles through my body. I couldn't believe it, but I wanted him again. I wanted to feel him inside of me, to feel his body on mine, to feel his hands caressing me, and his tongue dancing with mine.
"Good morning, beautiful," he whispered as he gently turned my face toward his, capturing my lips in a soft, erotic kiss.
Keeping my mouth locked with his, I rolled onto my side so we were facing each other. He put his hands on my lower back and yanked me flush against his body. I tried to resist, pulling away a little so he didn't get hurt, but he was much stronger than me. I put my hands on the back of his neck and the kiss deepened until we were both crazy with need. I wondered what would happen when we kissed and we weren't in a position to feed our growing passion. Did either of us have the ability to control ourselves?
"Mmm, good morning to you, too," I muttered against his lips when we stopped to catch our breath.
"Very good indeed." He smiled and nipped at my bottom lip.
"How're you feeling?"
"Much better. The medication always helps."
"Good." As soon as I captured another kiss, he rolled onto his back and tried to bring me with him, but I resisted.
"It's okay, Nicole. You won't hurt me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," He nudged me to get me to climb on top o
f him. "C'mon, baby, I need you."
The sound of him calling me baby melted my heart. It sounded so sweet and so perfect. Very carefully, I straddled his waist, keeping my full weight in my knees and not on him. His erection was hard and thick between my legs, ratcheting my desire for him to a whole new level. I ground against him, causing him to moan long and deep.
"I want you so much, Nicole." Sean reached down and adjusted himself so that he could enter me.
I put my hands on either side of his head and slowly eased down onto him. Inch by agonizing inch, his length filled me, stretched me. My fingers curled against the mattress as a sharp pain tore through me. "Ahh!" I cried and whimpered all at the same time. I went my entire life without having sex and in a matter of one night I'd done it twice. I was sore down there.
Sean gripped my hips. "Are you okay?" he asked with a voice full of concern.
I nodded, knowing if I told him it hurt, he'd stop. And I didn't want to stop. "Are you?"
"Yeah, just go easy, okay?"
"Okay," I whispered as I began to slowly and gently rock on him. The pain I'd felt was replaced with undiluted ecstasy. I kept my pace slow so neither of us would be hurt.
Sean arched his neck and lifted his hips in rhythm with each downward motion I made. "God, you feel so good," he groaned.
His enthusiasm was encouraging. He wasn't holding back, so I assumed he really was feeling better and not in any pain. Our movements became frenzied to the point we were both crying out from the intensity of our simultaneous orgasms. I collapsed on top of him, my face buried in the crook of his neck then I quickly lifted my weight from his body. "Sorry, you okay?"
"Yes. I promise if I wasn't, I'd tell you."
I lowered my head back to his shoulder and exhaled. "Wow." He answered with a soft chuckle. No wonder Toni was sex obsessed, I thought, this was fantastic. Would it always be like this or would the novelty, the passion, eventually fade? I really hope not.
Sean dragged his fingers up and down my back, eliciting a shudder from me. "I swear it's like I've waited my entire life for you," he whispered.
My breath caught in my throat at his sweet admission. "Sean…I…" Before I could finish my thought, he took my face into his hands and kissed me. My mouth and my body molded to his. In that moment I realized I was falling in love with this man. At least it felt like love, but I wasn't positive because I'd never felt anything like it before. I'd given myself to him in the most intimate way. That had to be love, didn't it?
"I want you to be mine, Nicole."
"I am yours."
In more ways than I was willing to admit to him right then. I climbed off him, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. He didn't attempt to stop me. I settled beside him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
"No." He shook his head. "What I mean is, I don't want us seeing other people."
I grinned, the memory of last night's dinner conversation coursed through my mind. "Oh, so you want that exclusivity you mentioned last night."
He laughed. "Yes, that's exactly what I want."
"I'd like that," I said.
"Well, that settles it then. You are officially my girlfriend." He kissed my forehead.
I smiled. I liked the sounds of that. I was Sean's girlfriend.
"What are you doing today?" he asked.
"I have to meet my quintet for practice later this morning. We've got a big show coming up in a few days. You should come."
"I'd love to."
I craned my neck to look at the clock on the nightstand and groaned at how quickly the time was passing. "I've got to get ready."
"I know," he sighed and hugged me to his side, "I have a physical therapy session I have to get to. Will you come to the center and see me afterward?"
"Yeah, of course." Okay, he still wants to see me. That’s a good sign. I was excited about the idea of seeing him again.
"Promise?"
I laughed. "Yes, I promise. Why wouldn't I come see you?"
He shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe last night didn't live up to your expectations? Maybe I didn't?"
I kissed him firmly on the mouth. "You exceeded all of my expectations, Sean. Please stop worrying about that."
Sean reached up and caressed my cheek. "How did I get so lucky?"
I simply smiled. I was the one who was lucky. Sean was a brave, tender man who could have any woman he wanted, and he'd chosen me.
*****
As soon as Sean left, I grabbed my cell phone and called Toni. When she answered, I said, "Get your butt over here. I need to talk to you."
She hesitated for a moment. "Why? Are you going to yell at me about last night?"
"No. Yes. I don't know," I sighed with aggravation, "Maybe a little. It was wrong for you to invite Sean over here without asking me first, Toni." I tried to sound stern, but after the night I'd had with him, I just couldn't pull it off.
"I know, and I'm sorry. But, in my defense, if I didn't do it for you, it never would've happened and we both know it. You never would've invited him over."
"Yeah, okay, whatever. Seriously, Toni, you have to come over right now." I paced back and forth in the living room, my gaze settling on my clothes that I'd worn last night, the same clothes that were still in a heap on the floor. I scooped them up and put them in the hamper in my bedroom.
"Fine, I'm on my way. I'll be there in five." Toni hung up and I resumed pacing.
There were so many things I wanted to tell Toni, so many questions I wanted to ask her. I was afraid she'd overreact though. Or completely blow things out of proportion. Oh God! What kinds of schemes would she cook up once she found out I'd given my virginity to Sean? Knowing Toni, she'd plan a surprise wedding for us – or something ridiculous. Maybe I shouldn't tell her? No, I had to tell her. She was my best friend and this was big news. I was bursting to tell somebody.
A moment later, Toni breezed into my apartment as if she owned the place. She plopped down on the couch, put her feet on the coffee table, and said, "So, what's so urgent?"
"I had sex with Sean last night," I blurted out.
"What?" Toni jumped up from the couch, her eyes wide. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah," I nodded.
"Oh my God, Nikki. That's fantastic. How do you feel? How was it? You have to give me details!" she exclaimed.
I laughed. The way she was acting you'd think it was her who'd lost her virginity last night. "I'll tell you everything, I promise. But let's do it over breakfast on our way to practice. I'm starving."
"Sex burns calories, you know."
I simply shook my head. Of course Toni would know something like that. I had no doubt it was true, either. She took sex very seriously.
CHAPTER 12
Nicole Baker
Practice went smoothly and despite my mind wandering back to Sean and last night, I didn't mess up the music. Sarah was pleased and even offered a compliment. I felt confident that we were ready for our show the next night. Toni and I gathered our things and got ready to leave. I couldn't stop looking at the clock. Could time go any slower?
"So," Toni said as we made our way toward our cars. "Tell me; is he big?"
"Toni!" I shrieked, my eyes going wide and laughed incredulously, "You can't ask me that."
"Yes I can. I just did," she grinned, "C'mon, Nikki. You know you want to tell me."
I shook my head at her crassness. "Like I have any idea if he's big or not. Unlike you, I have no basis for comparison, remember?"
Toni laughed, "True; but even you should be able to tell if he was big or small."
There was no way I was talking to her about the size of Sean's penis. That just seemed – I don't know, inappropriate, or inconsiderate of Sean. I'd be horrified if he told his friends about my body like that. I wouldn't do it to him. Rolling my eyes, I gave her a sideways glance and a smirk.
"I knew it!" she said, poking me in the arm with her finger.
"Ouch,." I rubbed my arm as she laughed.
"Hey, wann
a go grab some lunch?"
"Yeah, sure," I had a few hours to kill anyway before I could go see Sean. Just the thought of him put a smile on my face. Maybe I'd ask him if he wanted to go see a movie or something tonight. Heck, we could sit in my car and just talk for all I cared. I just wanted to see him again.
"I want to go check out that new deli on the corner of Fourth and Maxwell," Toni said. "I've heard they have fantastic sandwiches."
"Sounds good to me." I followed Toni to the deli in my own car. It was a short drive and in less than half an hour, we were seated with our food. She was right. The sandwiches were to die for. They were made with still warm, fresh baked bread and locally grown vegetables. I don't think I'd ever eaten a tomato with so much taste.
"I'm really happy for you, Nikki. Sean is wonderful for you."
"I think I'm falling in love with him, Toni," I admitted, keeping my gaze down, expecting Toni to shriek or freak out or give me a lecture. But she did none of those things. She reached across the table and patted my hand.
"That's a good thing."
"It is?" I looked up at her.
She nodded and smiled. "You have a real issue with trusting men, and for good reason. But you have to start somewhere. Letting Sean into your life and your heart is the best thing for you."
"What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if I'm just another girl to him?" Uncertain panic crept up my spine. I couldn't do this. I couldn't date and be in love. It was too hard.
"Okay, stop it right now," Toni pointed at me, "Don't do this. Don't sit there and second-guess everything. I've seen how Sean is around you. That man is crazy about you. Hell, even Derrick has noticed and he's clueless about everything."
I chuckled, "Thanks, Toni."
"You and Sean are in that new relationship phase where everything is exciting and you can't contain your passion. God, I'd kill for that, Nikki. You better enjoy it."
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