I paused, the image of the beautiful pregnant woman with Sean flashed through my mind. The way they'd smiled at each other, the affection pouring between them, her leaning over and… "Oh my God," I whispered as the reality of it slapped me in the face. Sean hadn't kissed the woman I had seen him with. She'd kissed him on the cheek, but that was it.
"Nicole, I'd like to introduce you to Sasha Cartwright."
That same woman from the VA Center walked out of my kitchen. My kitchen! I couldn't believe it. What was she doing here? I wanted to wring the life from Toni's body.
"Sasha is Sean's cousin," Toni said then added, "his pregnant, married cousin."
I felt all the color drain from my face, and I simply stared at the both of them.
"Hi, Nicole," Sasha said, approaching and extending her hand to me.
Hesitantly, I took it and gave it a weak shake. "Hi." I look down at her left hand, and lo and behold, there on her ring finger was the biggest, sparkling diamond wedding band I'd ever seen. I slowly averted my gaze back to hers, feeling like a complete idiot. How could I have been so wrong?
"I'm so sorry about the trouble I caused between you and Sean," Sasha said, releasing my hand.
This was all too much. I walked to the couch and plopped down on it. So, this woman wasn't Sean's ex-girlfriend? And the baby she was carrying wasn't Sean's? Sasha sat on the couch next to me, taking my hands into hers. I had no choice but to look at her.
"Sean and I grew up together. He was like a brother to me and we've always been very close. Unfortunately, because of my husband's work schedule, I haven't been able to visit Sean since he's returned from his deployment. I'd heard he was injured, and of course I was just worried to death about him." She shook her head, took a deep breath, and continued. "So, when I saw him, I was overjoyed he was okay. In fact, he looked good – happy."
"Oh," was all I could manage to say.
"He's crazy about you, Nicole. You're all he talks about. And I know, straight to my soul. I know it's because of you that he's doing so well. I am so sorry for all the trouble I've caused but I'm begging you, please give Sean another chance."
Sasha squeezed my hands as she spoke. It didn't hurt, but it was a clear sign she was desperate to make me understand. Tears pooled in my eyes. I really had made a mistake, hadn't I? A sob escaped and I covered my mouth with my hand.
"Oh my God," I said.
Toni came over and sat on the other side of me. She put her arm me and I rested my head on her shoulder as the first few tears slipped free.
"Hey, it's okay," she soothed.
I shook my head, "No, it's not okay. I was so mean to him. I wouldn't even talk to him."
"All you have to do is call him," Jo said from where she stood guarding the door.
"Actually," Sasha stood and went to my bedroom door. She opened it and nodded, "You can just talk to him right now."
I looked up and saw Sean stepping out of my room, still wearing his dress uniform, holding a bouquet of red roses. I jumped off the couch and rushed toward him, throwing my arms around his neck with so much force he stumbled back a step or two. "Sean," I sobbed, burying my face in his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."
He wrapped his arms around me; the roses still clutched in his hand, and squeezed me tight to him. His head lowered and I felt him take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of me. "Nicole," he muttered, "God, I've missed you."
"Let me get these out of the way," Toni said, taking the flowers from Sean's hand. "We're gonna go and leave you two alone."
I nodded, but didn't let go of Sean. And he didn't let go of me, either. In fact, he flattened both of his hands on my back and held me tightly. I played with the hair at the nape of his neck, missing how soft it had felt on my fingers. Only once I heard the door close and the apartment fall quiet, I lifted my head and looked at him. His brown eyes were so warm and so full of compassion. The way he looked at me, with so much love and desire, it made me cry harder.
Sean moved his hands from my back and cupped my face, his thumbs brushing my tears away. "You are too beautiful to cry," he whispered as he lowered his mouth to mine.
His lips touched mine, his tongue delved into my mouth, and I was lost in his kiss. It had only been two days, but it felt like an eternity. I had missed him so much, and I was terrified all of this might just be a dream. Moaning softly, I leaned in to him, needing to feel as much of him as possible, not wanting to let him go.
"I'm sorry, Nicole. God, I'm so sorry I hurt you," he said, releasing my lips despite my groan of protest.
"No," I shook my head, "You didn't do anything wrong. I overreacted. I assumed the worst, and I didn't give you a chance to explain. This is all my fault," I said, choking back a sob.
Sean ran the pad of his thumb across my kiss-swollen lips and then he smiled. "I want to put this behind us and start over. Can we do that, Nicole? Can you forgive me?"
"I should be the one asking you that. I acted like such a fool. God, I'm so embarrassed."
I rested my forehead on his chest and sighed. All this time I'd thought he betrayed me, that he'd broken my trust. But in reality, I'm the one who betrayed him. I didn't trust him enough to give him the benefit of the doubt. What kind of person was I to do that to a man I loved?
"I was never angry with you," he said, putting his finger under my chin and tilting my head up. "I know how it must've looked to you and if the roles were reversed, I probably would've thought the same thing you did."
I didn't deserve someone as sweet as Sean. My mind told me he was just saying that stuff to make me feel better, but my heart wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe he wasn't upset with me and that we both really could just forget all about this embarrassing misunderstanding.
"I thought she was your ex-girlfriend, the one who'd broken up with you before you were deployed. And…" I averted my gaze. "And I thought she was there to tell you that the baby was yours."
Sean laughed. "No." He kissed me on the mouth again. It was soft and lingering. "I called her when I first got back, before I met you, and she wanted nothing to do with me when she found out I was missing a leg."
I stared into his warm brown eyes, expecting to see some level of pain or sadness, but there was none. He really didn't seem to care at all his ex-girlfriend was a shallow, heartless bitch. I couldn’t believe her reaction didn't bother him in the least.
Well, it was her loss, I thought.
"Will you stay here with me tonight, Sean?"
He smiled, "I thought you'd never ask."
CHAPTER 17
Sean McKenzie
I lay in Nicole's bed with her cradled by my side, her head rested on my chest, and her delicate hand was splayed on my stomach. I hadn't let her go since she'd hugged me several hours ago. Not that she'd tried to get away at all, because she hadn't. She was clinging to me just as much as I was to her. It had only been a couple of days we'd been apart, but it had felt like a lifetime. And Lord knows I never wanted to go through that again. I owed Toni big time, too, and I would do whatever I could to repay her for getting Nicole and I back together.
We hadn't made love even though we both wanted to. Missing several doses of my medication had really affected me. I was in no shape to be physical with her, no matter how badly I wanted to be. I'd told her that and she'd been more than understanding and patient. She was like my own personal angel. I promised I'd make it up to her as soon as I was back on schedule and I wasn't in so much pain. And I knew exactly how I was going to make it up to her. It would be perfect. It would be a night she would never forget. At least, I hoped she wouldn't ever forget.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked, tilting her head to look up at me.
"How nice it is to have you in my arms again. I missed you so much."
"I missed you, too, Sean." Her fingers traced circles on my stomach sending shivers up my spine.
"And I was thinking how I owe Toni for getting us back together tonight."
Nicole laughed, "Yeah, fo
r once Toni's meddling paid off."
"She cares about you."
"I know. I know she means well, but sometimes she doesn't know when to butt out."
"Well, I'm grateful she didn't butt out this time. If she had, you might never have spoken to me again," I teased with a wink. Nicole gave me a sultry smile then settled her head back down to my chest, snuggling closer to me with a contented sigh.
I kissed the top of her head and squeezed her just a little closer. I had an appointment with Dr. Monroe tomorrow morning and then physical therapy. The thought of having to leave here, of having to leave Nicole, tore at me. I wanted to spend every single moment I could with her. Then an idea struck me. "Do you have any plans tomorrow afternoon? Sasha and her husband are taking me to an early dinner before they head back home. Will you go with me?"
She once again turned to look at me. "Are you sure they won't mind?"
"No," I smiled, "Sasha is the only family I have and I know she would love to get to know you a little better."
"Yeah, okay, if you're sure she won't mind, I'd love to go. I kind of feel like I owe it to her to get to know her."
"Why do you say that?" I asked, stroking my hand up and down her arm, loving how her flesh erupted in goose bumps beneath my touch.
"I had some pretty mean thoughts about her before I knew who she was to you, of course," She gave a nervous laugh.
I nodded thoughtfully, wondering exactly how mean Nicole's thoughts had been. I didn't think she had a mean bone in her body and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask what kind of thoughts she had, but I refrained. It didn't really matter. Things had been sorted and all was well with us now. "Can I ask you something else?" My voice was hesitant. Maybe it was too soon to ask her this. Guess it was too late now.
"Yeah, of course, you can ask me anything," she said.
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "Dr. Monroe thinks my relationship with you is good for me, but he's also worried about how you're handling the complexities of dating a war veteran. It's not just my physical injury, Nicole. I have a lot of emotional scars, too." I glanced down to see her intently staring at me. "So, I was wondering if you'd be willing to go to some counseling sessions with me. You know, so we could both talk to Dr. Monroe and you could ask whatever questions you wanted."
"Is this okay with your doctor? Counseling is a very personal thing. I don't want to impose or anything," she said.
I sighed. Well, it wasn't a flat out no. There's still hope. "Yes, Dr. Monroe actually suggested I bring it up when I felt ready."
"And you're ready? We haven't really known each other that long."
"I know, but I think this could be good for both of us. I want to be completely honest with you, Nicole, and the best way to do that is for you to know the stuff I'm dealing with. So far, when I've been with you I've …"
"Yes, I'll go," she said, cutting me off.
I adjusted so I could get a better look at her face. There was a little bit of uncertainty in her eyes, but I guess that was to be expected. A smiled pulled at her full, pink lips, and I knew she was doing this for me, because she knew how important it was to me. And I only loved her more for it.
"I want you to be comfortable and I want you to know you can ask whatever you want."
"Okay," She planted a kiss on my chest, and then said, "Thank you."
"For what?" I said with a smile.
"For wanting to be so honest with me about everything, it means a lot to me. Not many people in my life have cared enough to do that."
I gently guided her onto her back and rolled onto my side so I was leaning over her. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but it wasn't unbearable either. I caressed the side of her face with the back of my hand, leaned down, and kissed her slowly and softly on the lips. She laced her hands around the back of my neck and moaned into my mouth, making me want to forget all about the pain I was in so I could make love to her. I pulled away just enough so I could look into her big, hazel eyes. I took a deep breath and said the one thing I'd been wanting to tell her for days. "I love you, Nicole."
The glint of tears shone in the corners of her eyes and her lips trembled when she spoke. "I love you, too, Sean."
I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on hers. She loved me. Nicole Baker, the woman of my dreams, my singing angel, loved me. It was a dream come true and I knew I was never going to let her go.
CHAPTER 18
Nicole Baker
A month had passed since Sean and I had our misunderstanding and then reconciled. We spent every free moment together. The only time we weren't together was when Sean had therapy or I had practice. He slept at my apartment every night. I'd cook dinner then we'd snuggle on the couch watching movies, sometimes we'd play music, and other times we'd go straight to bed and make love. The way we were with each other was like something out of a fairytale. And much to my surprise, things between us didn't seem to be fading at all. In fact, our passion only seemed to grow with each passing day. Sean was doing so well and I could see how much better he was compared to when I'd first met him. I knew he still had a long way to go, but at least he was getting better and not worse.
I reached up and adjusted the blind-fold Toni had tied over my eyes. "Where are you taking me?" I asked her for the dozenth time.
"We're here, so stop your fidgeting," she said, bring the car to a stop and turning it off.
"Can I take this off now?" It was making me itchy.
"No," Toni laughed as she opened my door and helped me out of the car. "It won't be much longer then you can take it off. In the meantime, stop fussing. I'm not telling you anything."
I sighed, but kept my comments to myself and allowed Toni to guide me to wherever it was she was taking me. Sean had called me this morning and told me that Toni would pick me up around noon. He wouldn't tell me anything else. I had no idea why Toni was picking me up, or where she was taking me. All I knew was that she was taking me to see Sean and that the two of them had been scheming behind my back. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not.
"Okay," Toni said, grasping my arm, bringing us to a stop. "Now, stand perfectly still and don't move, okay?"
"Yeah, okay," I said with a nod. I strained to listen, to see if I could hear anything that would give me a clue to where I was. I heard birds chirping. The smell of fresh cut grass and the faint aroma of wild flowers were carried on the light breeze that caressed my face.
"Hi, Nicole." Sean's voice so close to my ear startled me. "I'm going to untie the blindfold now."
I nodded and remained still as I felt him reach around behind my head and untie the blindfold. His cologne tickled my senses and sent my heart into a flutter. I blinked against the bright sunlight and tried to focus my eyes. Sean stood in front of me, blocking my ability to see anything but his gorgeous face and warm brown eyes. I smiled at him. "What's with all the secrecy?" I asked, putting my arms around his neck.
"I wanted to surprise you," he said, wrapping his arms around my stomach and pulling me closer to him, his lips finding mine. I would never tire of kissing him or what it felt like to be wrapped up in his strong arms.
"So, what's the surprise then?"
Sean released me and stood beside me, lacing our fingers together. "That," he said, nodding.
I looked around. It was the same place we'd had a picnic the day after the symphony. Sean had laid out a blanket in the same exact spot as before. Only this time, there wasn't a picnic basket. There was a bucket with a bottle of champagne and two glasses along with a tray of chocolate covered strawberries. I smiled. "You didn't have to go to so much trouble. You could've just asked me to meet you."
"Yes, but that would've ruined the effect," he said with a wink. I couldn't help but smile when he did that. "Come on." He tugged on my hand. "There's something I want to talk to you about."
My heart raced as I followed him toward the blanket. What could he possibly want to talk to me about? Oh God, he wasn't going to break up with me, was h
e? No, if that was his intention, he wouldn't have gone to such lengths. Besides, I trusted Sean and I knew he would never hurt me. Once we were both settled, Sean poured the champagne and handed me a glass. My hand trembled.
"I have to admit, I'm a little worried about what you want to talk to me about," I said.
Sean smiled slowly, "Don't worry. It's nothing bad," he assured me.
"Okay," I said, still not too sure. He raised his glass and clanked it against mine before taking a small sip. I did the same, the cold, bubbly liquid sliding down my throat with ease. It tasted good.
"Things are going well with us, don't you think?"
"Yes, they're great. Why?" No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep the fear from creeping into my voice.
"You have no regrets about being with me? Especially knowing more about me and my injuries?"
"No, of course not. I love you, Sean, and I don't say that lightly. Why? Are you having doubts about being with me?" Fear spread like wildfire through my body, consuming me to the point that it was becoming difficult to breathe.
"No." He smiled and shook his head. "Just the opposite actually," Sean said, reaching into his pocket and clutching something in his hand that I couldn't see. He took our glasses and set them aside. Then he took my left hand into his, stroking my knuckles with this thumb, and smiling. "I love you, Nicole. I love you so much and I can't stand the thought of living a life that you're not a part of."
I held my breath as he opened up his other hand to reveal a diamond ring. My heart felt like it stopped beating, and everything around us stilled so the only sounds I heard were of our heartbeats and Sean's shallow breaths.
"Nicole, I want to spend every moment for the rest of my life making you smile. I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep with you in my arms every night. You make me feel like a whole man again when I thought I never would. Will you marry me?" He asked, sliding the ring onto my finger.
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