“Hmm,” he responded, looking around.
Alice chose to ignore his cynicism, afraid his negativity would rub off on her. It would be far too easy to let her worries consume her. She changed the subject.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” she asked, turning to face him.
Joe shrugged his shoulders, inhaling deeply. He looked like he would feel so much more relaxed with a cigarette in his hand.
“I thought maybe this would be a good time to talk to you about what I asked you before,” he said, hesitation in his voice.
Alice tried to read his expression, to gauge his feelings, but he kept his eyes on the floor.
“I figured with Billy gone, you might have had time to give it some thought,” he said quietly.
Alice sighed deeply, knowing that it was just a matter of time before the subject came up again. She knew she needed to be as clear as possible, and let the chips fall where they may. She didn’t want to hurt him, and worried that he would pick up and leave, but there was nothing she could do about that. She wasn’t going to marry him and could do nothing to spare his feelings.
He had asked her to think over his proposal, and she did offer him that courtesy. The truth was, even if Billy wasn’t in the picture, Joe would never be someone she would consider as a romantic partner, let alone her husband. She felt the emotion rising in her chest, her tears dangerously close to spilling.
“Joe,” she began, smiling warmly at him, “I have given this a lot of thought. I promise you I have, but I still feel the same way. I’m sorry but I can’t accept your proposal.”
He grimly shook his head, refusing to meeting her eyes.
“Please look at me,” she encouraged kindly.
He looked up at her like he had just had the rug pulled out from under him. Alice continued cautiously.
“You deserve a wife who adores you Joe. You’re a good man and I know that you will make another woman really happy. Maybe this is a good time for you to put yourself out there, try to meet someone. You’ve been sequestered here since my parents died, and I know that in some ways it might be my fault. I have relied too much on you and I’m afraid I may have kept you from enjoying your own life,” she explained as gently as she could.
Joe shook his head, the significance of her words not landing on him.
“You haven’t kept me here, Alice. I wanted to be here, to take care of you. I love you and I know you love me too. Everything was fine before he got here,” he said, shifting closer to her.
“No, Joe, I’m not in love with you,” she said, a little more firmly.
She held a hand in front of her, signaling him to respect her space.
“You’re in love with him,” he said, his voice deep with contempt.
Alice didn’t care for his tone. He made it sound so dirty. She shook her head, not in denial, but in disbelief.
“Do you think that drifter cares about you, Alice? He waltzes around here like he owns the fucking place, doing whatever the hell he wants, taking whatever he wants and you are so fucking blind. I know you have been fucking him. Don’t you have any common sense, woman? Any self respect?” he spat, his words cutting her.
Alice felt her breath catch in her throat. He had never spoken to her so harshly before, or been so cruel. Was it his anger talking? Had she hurt him so deeply? She had no idea how to respond.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that. How do you think it makes me feel, seeing you piss away your parents’ blood money so carelessly. Building this arena like it’s the fucking Taj Mahal, altering everything your daddy worked so hard to build. Letting that fucking ingrate come in here and manipulate you. Your daddy would be so disappointed in you. Why have you forgotten your place around here?” he growled, grabbing her shoulders forcefully.
Her place?
Alice pulled herself back but he refused to release his grip. Shock and betrayal rattled her to the core. She knew he was enraged, but his words were so deeply offensive. How could he confess his love for her yet speak to her so hatefully?
“You naive, little girl,” he continued. “This ranch is mine as much as it is yours. I’ve invested my blood, sweat and tears into this place and you’re dismantling it, bit by bit. I won’t stand by and let that happen,” he slurred, tears in his eyes.
She forcefully knocked his hands off her shoulders, driven by her own anger. He staggered back a few inches, but his body language was still aggressive. Alice put more distance between them, moving further away.
“This ranch is mine, and I’ll do as I please with it. You don’t love me. You want my land and you think that by marrying me, it will finally be yours,” she declared, piecing it together.
It was suddenly becoming so clear. Joe looked down and spat, evidence of his contempt, but not denying it.
“I’m disappointed that it has come to this, Joe. I’m sad that you think I’m a complete fuck up, but I think it’s best if you leave. This isn’t your home anymore,” she offered flatly, doing her best to control the emotion in her voice, although she could do nothing to stop her hands from shaking.
“Pack your things and be gone by Sunday,” she said, walking past him.
He grabbed her arm and forcefully pulled her back, his face contorted with spite.
“Take your fucking hands off me,” she hissed, throwing her shoulders back, suddenly fearful that he might harm her.
His expression slowly turned from anger to regret, as though he suddenly realized the consequences of his actions. He released her and held his hand up in front of himself, gesturing for her to relax.
“Shit, I didn’t mean half of what I said, it was my ego talking. I let my anger take over,” he said, clearly back pedaling.
Alice shook her head, considering her reply.
“My daddy used to say that angry people always reveal their deepest truths,” she replied, her confidence returning, “and, Joe, I’ll always wonder which half of what you said was true, and exactly what you did mean.”
She turned her back on him, quickly exiting the arena before her tears escaped.
* * *
“Mommy, what day is tomorrow?” Amy asked, just as her mother was tucking the blankets up under her chin.
Alice sat down on the mattress beside her.
“It’s Saturday, baby. Why do you ask?” she said quietly, brushing the hair from her child’s eyes. She needed to find the time to cut Amy’s hair soon.
“Will Billy be here Saturday?” Amy asked hopefully.
Alice offered her a sweet smile.
“No, honey, I’m sorry. How about you and I go to the pond to practice your swimming tomorrow, before it gets too chilly? It is supposed to be hot. Would you like that?” Alice asked, changing the subject.
“Will he be home on Sunday?” Amy pressed.
Alice shook her head solemnly. Amy had grown so fond of Billy. She wished she had clear answers to offer her, but he left things so vague, promising to update her as soon as he could. She still hadn’t heard from him, and she was starting to get antsy herself.
“I’m afraid not, but remember that Sunday Aunt Lisa is taking you to Jody’s house to play for the afternoon. Won’t that be fun?” she asked, hoping to give her daughter something cheerful to think about.
She had asked Lisa to take Amy off the ranch on Sunday, in case there was any drama when Joe moved out.
“And then you go back to school on Tuesday to see all your friends!”
Amy nodded, a smile spreading across her face, as though she just remembered.
“And my new teacher!”
Alice leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, which Amy wiped off dramatically.
“Don’t worry, Mommy, I’m not wiping it off, I’m rubbing it in,” she teased.
“Oh, you little stinker,” Alice said, giving her another kiss, “time for sleep.”
Lisa was waiting on the porch with chilled chardonnay. Alice sat down and picked up her waiting wine glass, holding it up in front of
her.
“Cheers,” she said flatly, clinking her glass with Lisa’s.
“You ok?” Lisa asked.
Alice nodded taking a large sip of wine. She set the glass down beside her.
“I’m trying to be,” she admitted.
She had already filled Lisa in about her confrontation with Joe. It was a tough pill for them to swallow, and they both were struggling with grief. It would be hard to lose him, but it was clear he could no longer stay.
“Have you heard from Billy yet?” Lisa asked, her concern also growing.
Alice shook her head slowly. She didn’t want to talk about him. They sat together in comfortable silence, both deep in contemplation. It had been a tough week. The sun was just setting, the pinkish hue across the sky promising good weather the next day. Alice wished it would also promise good tidings.
“Do you smell that?” Lisa said curiously, sitting forward in her chair.
Alice inhaled deeply, the smell of campfire teasing her senses.
“Yes, I do. That’s weird, there is a county wide burn ban right now,” Alice said, standing up. “It might be coming from the Ferguson farm. They have teenagers, maybe they are partying in the bush tonight. I’m going to grab my cell phone and give Sam a call. He might want to check on them.”
Alice went into the house to grab her phone, but a flickering light out her kitchen window caught her attention. It was away in the distance, but it looked like the flashes were coming from the construction site. She moved closer to the window, trying to process what she was seeing. Her breath caught in her throat and she let out a small cry. The arena was on fire!
She rushed out the to the front porch.
“Lisa, that fucking fire is at the arena! We need to do something!” Alice screamed, overcome with panic.
Lisa stood up quickly and took the phone from Alice. She dialed 911 and calmly talked to the dispatcher while Alice stood frozen in front of her, biting her lip nervously.
“The fire department is on the way. You call Sam Ferguson and see if he will come help. I’ll head over to the arena and see if I can at least start managing the fire. Got it?” Lisa said, her voice calm but forceful. “Do it.”
Alice immediately called her neighbor who promised to be there as fast as he could. Then she ran up to check on her daughter, who was still thankfully asleep.
When she got to the arena, it was already engulfed in flames. Lisa had the garden hose blasting, but it was about as effective as a band aid on an amputation.
Sam Ferguson arrived, pulling his truck in as close as he dared, and came running over. He grabbed the hose from Lisa and forcefully ordered them to stand back.
Alice was terrified. She held on to Lisa as they both watched, uncertain what to do. When the fire fighters arrived, the women were quickly whisked away, and permitted only to watch from a safe distance while the fire crew attempted to battle the growing inferno.
The barn and the paddock were a safe distance from the new arena, but Alice still worried about her horses. They would be terrified, their senses heightened by the panic, the smell of smoke, and the commotion.
She looked around wondering where the hell Joe was. Had he gone somewhere tonight? As angry as he was, he would surely have been in the thick of things, helping however he could.
He had been drinking heavily that day. Maybe he was in bed, passed out. She called one of the volunteer fire fighters over and asked if she could go to check on him but they refused her, promising that someone would search his quarters.
Lisa finally left her side to go take care of Amy, ensuring sure she was okay. She promised to stay at the house with her. There was nothing either of them could do. Alice stayed behind, helpless to do anything, but too anxious to leave.
She paced nervously back and forth, adrenalin coursing through her body. Finally, overcome by sheer panic and fear, Alice crumbled to her knees, watching in horror as her hopes and dreams burned to the ground, too traumatized to even weep.
Several hours later, when the arena was nothing more than a pile of ash and charred splinters, the fire chief found Alice. She was sitting on the tailgate of her truck, a warm blanket wrapped around her. Sam Ferguson was beside her, his face blackened with soot. Alice looked up at him, her face pinched with concern.
“Alice White?” he asked stopping in front of her.
She nodded weakly, confirming her identity. Sam placed a reassuring hand on her back.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t do more to save the building. I know this must be painful,” he offered kindly.
Alice nodded, and looked away, afraid his compassion would make her cry.
“We checked the animals and they are all fine, but there was no one in the quarters you asked us to search,” he continued cautiously.
Alice let out a sigh of relief, not just because the animals were unhurt, but because Joe was not on the ranch, safe somewhere else. Her relief was short lived.
“Unfortunately, one of my crew found a deceased person in the building. The victim is male. Our concern is that it is probably the person unaccounted for. Will you be able to help us identify him?” the chief asked somberly.
Alice looked up at him, her expression blank.
It was Joe. She knew it. She hopped off the back of the truck, willing to follow him but her knees buckled beneath her. Her stomach flipped violently as its contents spilled onto the ground at her feet. Sam helped her up and forced her to sit back down.
“Did he suffer?” she whispered, her heart filled with immeasurable sadness, as if all the grief she had ever experienced suddenly permeated every inch of her body.
The fire chief shook his head slowly.
“No. He would have succumbed to smoke inhalation.”
“I’ll identify the body,” Sam offered, his tone subdued and respectful.
Alice nodded weakly, grateful for the offer. She couldn’t see Joe that way.
Chapter 22
Billy
Alice had been casually texting him on his burner phone for the past few days, but he hadn’t replied. He knew she was simply looking for a connection, a caring word or two. It had taken everything he had to avoid answering her. Things had gone too far already. Reaching out to her now would just make things more confusing for her when the shit hit the fan, and the truth was, connecting with her would only serve to weaken his own resolve. Walking away from her had proven to be one of the hardest things he had ever done.
He had spent the last two days at the office, sorting through the work that had piled up on his desk. Although he tried to focus and re-assimilate into his old life, he just couldn’t get his bearings. He was choking behind all that metal and glass.
It had been even worse at home. The past two nights were unbearable. No matter how hard he tried he had been unable to relax, pacing around like a prisoner in solitary confinement. Despite his attempt to distract himself with the internet, books, and even television, he couldn’t prevent his mind from drifting back to the ranch. He missed Alice terribly, and little Amy too.
It took everything he had not to hop into that beater of a truck and drive the three and half hours north-west to her ranch, and into her arms. He sure as hell hadn’t trusted himself not to reply to her texts so he crushed that damn cell phone in the blender.
When he woke up Saturday morning he was still anxious. The thought of spending the entire day cooped up in his penthouse held no appeal whatsoever, but he had nowhere to go but to the office. After more than two months away, no one was excited to see him, catch up on old times, or get a drink with him. Not one soul had missed him.
James was in the office when he arrived, which was no surprise to William. The man preferred being at the office to spending time with his family, commonly working every day but Sunday. They hadn’t really talked about Alice or the ranch since his return on Thursday. He wasn’t sure whether he was avoiding James, or if James was trying to give him some space. Either way, they hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room.
>
He wasn’t in his office more than five minutes when James strolled in as though he hadn’t a care in the world. William gestured for him to sit down.
“How long do you think it will take for her to realize you’re not coming back?” James asked, wasting no time getting to the point.
William sat back in his chair, regarding his partner. He wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t offered any small talk or pleasantries, but it annoyed him nevertheless. James raised his brow and shrugged, his impatience showing.
“I’m not sure. I doubt it will take long. She’s pretty bright. If she doesn’t get a text or a phone call soon, I’m sure she will start putting two and two together,” William offered smugly.
“How bright can she be, really? She allowed a virtual stranger to take her money without doing any research or getting any references. She practically pulled down her panties and asked to be fucked up the ass,” James offered uncouthly, chuckling under his breath.
William felt the anger rising in his chest, but held his temper, clenching his jaw tightly.
“Truthfully, I can’t believe how naive she was. When you first brought the plan to me I thought you were nuts, but you really pulled it off, buddy,” James continued, clueless to William’s irritation.
“Anyway, I think we should give it a week. I’ll make contact next Friday with our offer. By then she should be ready to play ball,” James advised casually. “I know you said you wanted to pad the offer, but I don’t think we need to, William. She’ll probably accept even less than our last offer at this point. I mean honestly, you can probably see things more clearly now that you have put some distance between the two of you, right?” James pressed.
William wanted to punch him in the face, but instead he leaned forward in his chair, looking him straight in the eye.
“No,” William stated firmly. “I haven’t changed my mind. She gets the sixty thousand back plus the money she invested, and you will match our last offer, plus an additional hundred grand.”
He sat back in his chair, refusing to break eye contact. James shifted nervously, an incredulous look on his face. William knew it would piss him off, but he didn’t give a rat’s ass.
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