Cursed on the Second Date

by Daphne DeWitt

  Pulling off my heels, I sat down on the front steps and called Daniel. He picked up after the very first ring. Loser

  “Hello?”

  “Daniel, it’s me, Malady,” I said, breathing into the phone like a prank caller.

  “Who?” he asked, and I knew without seeing him that his eyebrow was cocked up.

  “Suzie Q,” I told him, rolling my eyes back so far I could see my own brain.

  “Oh, hi, Suzie. Why are breathing like that?” he asked.

  “Oliva sent me the picture of Andrew via email,” I started only to be interrupted by one of Daniel’s snarky replies.

  “Wait, let me guess. Andrew is a major stud, and the sight of his face is why you’re breathing so heavily.”

  “No, Andrew is Earl.”

  “You’re Aunt’s weird fiancé? Really? I wouldn’t have pegged him for the business man type.”

  Yeah, that was kind of odd to think about. “That’s so not important here, Daniel. Bobby’ murderer may be living under my roof. Can we stay focused, please?”

  “Fine, suck all of the funny out of this conversation why don’t you?”

  I must have missed what was funny about murder. Daniel Price had a very twisted sense of humor. “We’re having a family dinner why don’t you join us? Maybe we can question Earl or Andrew or whatever his name is.”

  “I’ll be there in a bit. What does one wear to Norwood family dinner night?” he asked in his best British accent. It needed work.

  “You’ve been to one before,” I told him.

  “Not with Earl slash Andrew.”

  “Well, today he is sporting a dirty t-shirt and jeans he’s had on for the last three days, so you don’t have to wear anything too fancy.”

  “All of my t-shirts are too clean, so a suit it is. See you in a little bit, and I don’t want to sit by Earl slash Andrew,” he said before hanging up.

  He was definitely sitting by Earl. I was going to make sure of that.

  13

  “This fried chicken is, how, do you say it down south? Finger licking good?” Earl asked, chewing with his mouth open.

  Pieces of chicken sprayed from his mouth hitting Daniel in the face. Daniel refused to sit by Earl and decided to take the seat across from him instead. He was regretting that decision.

  “I will never be able to look at chicken the same way again,” Daniel said, shielding his face with one of Grandma Misty’s beloved Christmas napkins. She bought them in bulk around the holidays and when we told her that we didn’t need that many Santa Claus napkins her reply was always she wanted it to be Christmas year round in the Norwood household.

  “I love those napkins,” Grandma Misty said, smiling at the jolly Santa Clause in front of Daniel’s face.

  Christopher finally showed up to dinner, but he was thirty minutes late, and the Aunts weren’t happy about it.

  “Would it kill you to show up on time?” Aunt Tilly asked, standing up and putting her hands on her hips. She was trying to look assertive, but wild curls and purple polka dot dress just made her look silly.

  She wasn’t the strict aunt. She was the cool aunt.

  “Yes, it would. Sadie, did you seriously kill another chicken?” he asked, looking at what was left of the chicken.

  “It’s my specialty and not to mention a crowd pleaser. It turns out perfectly every time make it. And for your information I didn’t kill the chicken, it was already dead when I bought it,” she said, beaming proudly at the dinner she prepared.

  “Everything you make turns out perfectly, Sadie,” he said, kissing each of us girls on the head as he passed by us to take the only empty seat at the table.

  “What no kiss for me?” Earl asked, batting his eyes at Christopher. “Is he one of those people that doesn’t eat meat?”

  “You mean a vegetarian?” Agnes asked, the look on her face telling me she was shocked that Earl didn’t know that someone who doesn’t eat meat was called a vegetarian.

  Stifling my laughter before the dining room table collapsed, I answered Earl’s question. “No, he isn’t a vegetarian. He eats meant just not meat that comes from birds.”

  “Eating birds doesn’t fly with him,” Sadie said, joining the conversation.

  “He once punched the cow at Chick-fil-A because he was wearing a sign that said ‘Eat more chicken.’ It was hilarious. Abigail posted it on Instagram, and it went viral,” Agnes said, laughing so hard she started choking on her food.

  Grandma Misty jumped up and kept hitting her back until a piece of chicken shot from her mouth and hit Christopher in the eye.

  “Gross!” he yelled, wiping furiously at his eye. “Speaking of Abby, where is she?”

  “She’s in her room, has been for about an hour. The last thing she said to me before slamming the door in my face was that being a part of this family ruins everything,” Grandma Misty said, sighing.

  “Is still upset over Cade?” Christopher asked, placing everything expect chicken on his plate. I think at one point that he even whispered ‘Sorry, little buddy’ to it. Christopher must have heard it too because he dodged eye contact with Christopher after that.

  “She’s past the upset stage,” Sadie said, offering him a tight smile.

  “Well, that’s good,” he replied, stuffing his face full of mashed potatoes. “That is good right?”

  “She’s not in the upset stage anymore because she’s moved on to the angry phase,” I told him just as we heard a boom upstairs.

  We all looked at the ceiling, but no one offered to go check it out because angry Abigail was scary.

  After helping Sadie clear the table Daniel and I asked Earl to join us outside. He agreed happily because he had no idea we were onto him.

  “What did you two want to talk to me about?” he asked, sitting on of the mismatched rocking chairs that littered the front porch.

  “We wanted to talk to you because we know. It’s time to give it up,” Daniel said, folding his arms over his chest.

  “I’m not following,” he said, eyeing her warily.

  “We know that you killed Bobby, Andrew,” I told him, trying to appear confident.

  I was totally lying. The only thing I knew for sure was that he was lying about his name and he knew the victim. Oh, and that he had a rocky past with the victim. In TV shows and movies the suspect usually fessed up to it because they thought the cops already knew everything, so I figure I would give it my best shot and hope Andrew wasn’t a fan of TV or movies. It was a long shot I know.

  His eyes went wide, and then narrowed as they trained in on me. “Why would you call me that?” he asked, keeping his voice steady.

  “Because it’s your name,” I responded, my tone as solid as stone.

  “Fair enough,” he admitted. “But you’re wrong about the rest of it. I wouldn’t hurt a fly,” he said, shaking his head.

  “We know about your business deal gone wrong, so all signs point to you killing Bobby,” I told him, lying again.

  “We had a falling out and had some differences. Our company went under due to some unforeseen circumstances,” Earl, I mean Andrew said.

  “And just to clarify by unforeseen circumstances, you mean you taking all the money and running, right? You knew that Bobby had a private investigator following you. He planned on suing you when he found you. The PI located you on the day of the Under the Stars charity ball and Bobby was conveniently murdered that very night,” Daniel asked.

  Andrew looked up at Daniel and me before dropping his head in defeat. “You know about that, huh?” he asked.

  “Yep,” I told him, tapping my foot on the porch.

  “Listen, I know this looks bad, but I didn’t kill him. I didn’t even know he had someone following me,” he said just as Aunt Tilly joined us on the porch.

  “What’s going on out here?” she asked.

  Andrew looked up at me silently begging me not to say anything to my Aunt. It was only fair because even though I had my suspicions of Andrew he wasn’t Bo
bby’ confirmed murderer, so I deiced to keep his secret until I knew he was guilty.

  “Daniel was just asking Earl about living in England,” I told her, nudging Daniel’s arm, “Isn’t that right?”

  Daniel grabbed his arm and winced in pain. “Yep, just chatting about England. Fish and chips!” he exclaimed, giving Aunt Tilly the fakest smile I had ever seen.

  “You’re are a very strange man,” Aunt Tilly told Daniel before strolling back into the house.

  “I like Misty better,” he said, causing Andrew to growl at him. “Oh, calm down Ocean’s Eleven.”

  Andrew scowled at us before getting up from his chair and joining the rest of my family inside.

  “How does it feel knowing that you just might be living under the same roof as a murderer?”

  “You can leave now,” I told him, pointing to his car.

  Laughing, he rocked on his heels before exiting the porch and hopping in his car. As I watched him pull out of the driveway, I noticed that he almost hit a tree. That got me to thinking how could he possibly be the one to break my family’s curse? He seemed to me like he was the last person for the job.

  Daniel Price, breaker of curses just didn’t roll off of the tongue.

  14

  Sitting in the coffee shop, I waited for the Blackwater twins to meet up with me to tell me their findings. I’d already downed two glasses of peach iced tea, and I really needed to pee. Getting up from my chair, I walked in the direction of the bathroom when I heard someone calling my name. Turning around, I saw Cade and Cole standing at the door waving at me as they walked to the table that had stuff on it.

  Of course, they showed up when I had to tinkle. Waving at them, I made my way back to the table. My very full bladder would have to wait.

  “What did you find out?” I asked Cole.

  “I found out that Bobby is a jerk,” Cole said, tapping his fingers on the table.

  “Can you elaborate on that?” I asked, needing more information than what he as currently giving me.

  “Um, let’s see. He told me that he was lying to both Oliva and Pearl. He wasn’t going to pick one because he wanted both of them. Oh, and he said there may or may not be another girl in the picture. He wouldn’t really give anything away. He disappeared only to show up in my room in the middle of the night and started moving stuff and screaming ‘Boo’ every five seconds,” he said, taking a deep breath and leaning back in his chair.

  Another girl? That was going to be a pain because we already had enough suspects.

  “Cade, what do you have for me?” I asked, looking at him and noticing he was sporting a black eye. “And what happened to you?”

  “I went to Cherry on Top to talk to with Pearl like you asked and halfway into my conversation with Pearl Abby and Barry walked in laughing. Abby saw me holding Pearl’s hand and flipped out. I tried to calm her down, but she wouldn’t listen. I had to pull in the back of the bakery to explain to her that I was holding Pearl’s hand to gather information for you, and I had to flirt with her a little bit because I couldn’t just grab her hand while I ordered a cupcake. Abby didn’t believe me, and I couldn’t get her to calm down, so I kissed her, and she magically lifted a pan and smacked me in the eye with it,” he said, eyeing Cole as he fell off the chair laughing.

  “His name is Bobby, not Barry and what did you find out about Pearl?” I asked.

  Apparently, Abigail had transformed into the Hulk because Cade’s eye looked terrible.

  “Barry, Bobby what’s the difference? She didn’t kill him, Malady. She really loved him and believed him when he told her he was divorcing Oliva. She’s a good person.”

  Retrieving my notepad from my briefcase, I opened to the page that held every suspect’s name. Drawing a line through Pearl’s name, I replaced it with ‘Mystery Girl.’ It wasn’t much, but it was something.

  “Cade, will you keep trying to find out some more information from Bobby?” I asked, getting up from the table.

  “Sure, but you owe me. Bobby Matthew’s voice alone gives me a headache,” he said, getting up and hugging me before making a beeline for the door.

  “Let me know if you need anything at all and don’t tell Abigail my eye looks this bad,” Cade said, pressing his mouth into a crooked line.

  He gave me a quick hug and followed his brother. As soon as they were out of eyesight, I ran to the bathroom and thankfully there was no line.

  After my bathroom break, I gathered my things and walked down Main Street until I reached my next destination, Cherry on Top. Opening the door, I waltzed in and looked around the bakery until I saw Pearl cleaning globs of white frosting from her face. I needed to ask her if Bobby had ever brought up Andrew and if so what he said about him. “Pearl, what happened? Are you alright?” I asked, grabbing as many napkins as I could to try to help her clean her face best I could.

  “Abigail stopped by and told me to stay away from her man. I told her that I had no interest in Bobby because, well, you know he’s my cousin and all. She wouldn’t listen though, she just kept yelling, and when I attempted to calm her down, she smashed a cupcake in my face,” she said, wiping the last remnants of frosting from her face.

  That sounded just like something my sister would do. “She wasn’t talking about Bobby. She was talking about Cade Blackwater,” I told her, but judging by her facial expression, I knew she had absolutely no clue who I was talking about.

  “Tall, black hair, and really handsome?”

  She shook her head no.

  “No? Let’s see he was probably wearing a leather jacket, and he touched your hand, does either of those things ring a bell?” I asked.

  “Oh, yeah. I remember him. I didn’t know they were dating because she came here with Bobby,” she said, pulling a tube of hot pink lipstick out of the pocket of her jeans and reapplied it.

  “They’re not dating anymore.”

  Her eyes lit up at my statement. “Oh, what happened? You know I love me some gossip, and any gossip about Abigail Norwood never disappoints,” she said with wild eyes.

  “The story of what happened between them is way too long to tell and to be honest with you I don’t have the strength to relive that catastrophe of a relationship, but I do need to ask you a few questions. Oh, and you’re no longer a suspect,” I told her, trying to ignore the gorgeous cupcakes in the glass case beside me. I felt like they were talking to me.

  “Well, that’s good news. I wouldn’t hurt a fly. Do you want a cupcake?” she asked, hooking her thumb in the direction of the glass case.

  My stomach was screaming yes, and my tongue was wagging like a dog, but my brain was telling me that a lawyer munching on a cupcake while she was working wouldn’t look too professional.

  “No, I’m fine. Thank you,” I told her, clearing my throat and standing up a straighter. I was a business woman who had no time for the sweet goodness of cupcakes. I had a murder to solve. “Wait, is that your maple bacon cupcake? Not that I want one or anything, I’m just curious.”

  “It is, and they’re fresh out of the oven,” she said, sliding one out of the case and popping it on one her pink plates that had cherries printed all over them. “I want you to eat this. It’s your favorite flavor.”

  She slid the plate to me and my stomach making a noise like I was housing a wild animal in there. “I can’t,” I told her, pushing it back to her.

  “I insist. It’s on the house.”

  “Fine, I’ll eat it, but only because you insisted,” I told her, grabbing the cupcake and taking a monstrous bite. Hey, the girl insisted, and it’s rude to decline someone’s offer when they offer you food.

  “What did you want to ask me?”

  “Did Bobby ever mention a man named Andrew to you?”

  Pearl bit her lip as she thought about an answer to my question. “Not that I can remember,” she said, tapping her finger against her chin. “Bobby never wanted to talk about anything back home. He said with me he only wanted to talk about the future.”r />
  That would have been sweet if I hadn’t learned that Bobby was a dog. He probably pulled that line from a romantic movie or a best-selling novel, but just knowing that he said it to Pearl and probably to Oliva and mystery girl as well made my stomach turn.

  Walking out of the bakery, I wiped the small bits of cupcake off of my lips to get rid of the evidence. I made the decision to stop by the farmers market and grab a fresh fruit bowl to balance out the million grams of sugar in that cupcake.

  Questioning Pearl was a dead end, but I did get a cupcake for free.

  Now if only I could solve this thing, the rest of the day would be perfect.

  15

  “Why do you keep looking at Earl like you want to push him off of the rocking chair and then knock him over the head with that shovel?” Agnes asked as we helped Aunt Tilly plant Silver Birch trees in her garden.

  “I’m not looking at him,” I told her, digging into the ground with my shovel. “I’m thinking about the murder case, and Earl just happened to be sitting in the direction I was looking. But, it is annoying when he eats everything in the kitchen, and we have to run to the supermarket every thirty minutes.”

  It took everything in me to call him Earl when I was talking about him to my family because his real name always wanted to slip out. So, I decided to just call him Earl even in my head. It was easier that way.

  “Yeah, it is kind of like Aunt Tilly brought home a stray dog. He eats everything he can get his hands on and has broken at least one thing a day since he’s been here. Hey, I need to ask you something.” Agnes said.

  Sticking my shovel upright in the ground I gave her my full attention because the tone of her voice called for it. “What’s up?”

  “Do you think that Aunt Tilly is under some kind of spell? I mean it’s not like her to fall in love so quickly because she’s so independent. When one of us went through a breakup, she was the first one to tell us that we don’t need a man, but she had fallen madly in love with that,” she said, gesturing to Earl who was sitting on the porch and picking his nose.