by Ronica Black
“I think they love it,” she said. She took Avery gently by the arm and led her to the couch where she helped her ease down. Then she brought a tray with tea and mugs and set it on the coffee table.
“I don’t ever want them to know what happened,” Avery confessed. She’d been thinking about it a lot, and the thought of her nieces someday reading about the murders and her involvement with the parties and the investigation made her cringe. It was the main reason why she’d decided to make some changes in her life.
“Try not to think about that right now.”
“It’s difficult.” Nadine handed her a mug, and Avery steeped her tea and took a sip. It was ginger lemon, and it helped to settle her stomach which had been upset since her attack. Melanie Prague had almost succeeded in killing her, stabbing her in her torso, and nearly missing her liver. The nightmares were still prominent, and she was reminded each and every time she moved.
“All you can do is lead the best life you can, love them to pieces, and talk to them when the time comes.”
Avery touched Nadine’s arm before she moved away. “Thank you, Nadine. For everything. I love you.”
Nadine searched her eyes, and Avery could tell she was surprised at the serious words.
“I know you do, Avery.” She smiled. “I love you.”
She fluffed a pillow and placed it behind her back. Then she covered her with a new fleece throw blanket. The girls would probably never notice that the old one was gone. And that was just as well.
Avery glanced around at her home and noted the fresh clean smell of it, and the nice yet cozy organization. It had taken Nadine a week to rearrange all that was taken for evidence and returned. She’d also scrubbed the house from top to bottom as if the attack had happened in the penthouse rather than the fourth floor.
The girls ran back into the room with their dolls in their hands. “The dollhouse is so awesome, Auntie Avery.”
“Yeah! We love it. And we’re gonna play with it all night long!”
“Maybe even sleep in it.”
“Yeah!”
Avery laughed, so glad she’d chosen a good gift for them. She wanted them distracted from all the work going on at the resort. So she’d hired a contractor to come in and build a large dollhouse, making sure to include it into the architecture of their room.
“Sounds like fun. When I’m all healed and better, I’ll join you.”
They squealed with delight. “Okay, but you need your own dolls.”
“I’ll have to get some then.”
But Rory approached, stroked her doll’s hair, and then handed it over. “Here, Auntie Avery. You can have Guinevere.”
Avery took the doll and touched her niece’s cheek. “Love, you don’t have to give me your doll.”
“She’ll help you feel better.”
Avery smiled. “Okay. I promise to take very good care of her. But for now, why don’t you care for her for me? And play with her until I can. That way she can have some fun.”
Rory smiled. “Okay.” She took the doll and they ran off to play.
Avery stared after them, wistful.
“To be so young and innocent.”
Nadine sat and joined her for some tea. “Uh-huh.”
“Was I ever so innocent?”
“No.”
Avery laughed. “You could’ve fibbed for my benefit.”
“No point. You know you were full of piss and vinegar.”
They sipped their tea in silence. “I wish the phone would ring,” Avery said. “I guess you find out who your real friends are in a case like this.”
“Yes.”
No one had called since she’d been home from the hospital, and only her business acquaintances had sent flowers while she recovered. The people she’d thought were her friends had been silent. It seemed she and Euphoria were something to avoid. However, she was surprised when they’d reopened just how many reservations had been made by the wealthy from all over the world.
“I think you’re better off,” Nadine said softly, “without those people.”
Avery stared out the large windows. “I think you’re right.” She stirred her tea. “I’m not going to be the same person I was, Nadine. I can’t. It almost killed me.”
“I know.”
“I want good people in my life.”
“You will have them. But first…you have to be a good person.”
Avery nodded. “I am. I mean…Lying there in the hospital, going over all that had happened. The lies, the games, the ultimate betrayal of people I thought I knew and cared about…I think for the first time, I really understood and knew who I wanted to be.”
Nadine sipped her tea and listened.
“I think I’ve always tried to be someone I’m not. Someone my father wanted. Tough, cold. Take no prisoners. And then with women, I was unobtainable. The ultimate catch who couldn’t be caught. But it was so empty. My God, I was just running in circles.”
She closed her eyes. “Until Maria.”
“Detective Diaz.”
“Yes. It all began to change with her.”
“Have you spoken to her?”
“No. And I wonder if she’ll ever speak to me again.”
“Why wouldn’t she?”
“Because of the mess I made. The mess I was a part of. I could’ve just told her from the get-go that I knew someone was planning on scaring Hale. That women were fed up. I could’ve given her names, even if I didn’t know for sure about anyone other than Lana.”
“But you were protecting Lana.”
“I tried. A lot of good that did me.”
“Avery. I honestly think if you would’ve named names…they would’ve killed you.”
She considered the remark. “I don’t know. Maybe eventually they would have. I just can’t believe they hated me that badly. To go through all that to frame me.”
“They wanted Hale gone. You were just an added bonus.”
“Maybe.”
Avery shook her head as feelings of guilt, shame, and anger came. “God, three women I trusted.”
“Don’t go there, Avery. They were crazy, and don’t forget how easily they turned on each other.”
Avery set her mug down on the table. “Will I ever get over this?”
“No. But you will get through it.”
“How?”
“By taking it one day at a time. And by being a good person.”
Avery sighed. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“You can start with Detective Diaz. There’s a lot there that needs to be said.”
Avery again stared out the window. “She’s got a lot on her plate. Work, the MS. God, and I just made things so much more complicated for her.”
“Tell her that. Tell her how you feel about it. She needs to hear it, Avery.”
“How much could an apology help?”
“You’d be surprised. And not only that, but you need to tell her how you feel about her. Don’t expect anything, just tell her. For both your sakes.”
Avery stared out the window. She watched the sun sparkle and glint off the buildings of Las Brisas. So much had changed in such a short amount of time. She looked back to her dear, dear friend and mother figure. She smiled.
“I think, as always, Nadine, that you’re right.”
Chapter Thirty-one
“How have you been?” Finley asked over his favorite greasy Chinese. “You’ve been quiet. Thought I was going nuts. Paige is up in arms, says I’m acting crazy without you.”
“New partner that bad?” Maria asked, taking a bite of kung pao chicken. It was flavorful, but it wasn’t all white meat like she preferred.
Finley shrugged. “She’s all right, I guess. Stubborn. Just like you.”
Maria laughed. “You don’t deserve any less.”
“I guess not.” He forked a thick wad of noodles into his mouth and slurped up the few strands that went awry.
“I’ve been okay,” Maria said, shrugging herself. She smiled politely as t
he waitress refilled her iced tea. “I’m changing my diet, eating more greens and fruits and veggies. And I work out with a physical therapist. So far, so good. Just the damn stiffness in my leg is bothering me.”
Finley chewed while nodding. “You think you’ll be able to come back full fledge?”
She pushed her food around. “I honestly don’t know. It’s only been about a month. I have five months left on my medical leave.” She sipped her tea. “But the doctor says things are looking good so far. My strength is good and my stamina is better.” Her mind went to that last night at Euphoria and how she couldn’t get away when she’d needed to. It almost cost her her life. Luckily, Melanie had only used a stun gun on her. “To be honest…I still worry. You deserve a healthy partner. One who can save your ass when needed.”
He grinned. “There’s no one like you, Maria. There never will be.”
“Thank God for that,” she said with a laugh.
“No, seriously. I hope you do return, even if it’s just at headquarters. We need you.”
She nodded. “I’m pretty sure I need you all too.” She took another bite and Finley eyed her curiously for her egg roll. She passed it over. “It’s been strange…being away. Horace is in heaven. I think he’s going to propose.”
Finley took a big bite out of her egg roll and sipped his iced tea. “I know you love that damn cat.”
She smiled.
He swallowed and this time he pushed around his food. “Say, listen. Have you heard anything from you-know-who?”
She looked away. “No.”
“Surprised?”
“A little.”
“Yeah, me too. I’ve been meaning to tell you…she contacted me. Called the wife, actually. Went on and on about me saving her life. She even thanked me. And I think…she might’ve cried a little.”
Maria felt her face flush as the sting of jealousy overcame her. She hadn’t heard a word from Avery since that night when she’d seen her to the ambulance.
“Well, I didn’t go visit her, you know, in the hospital.”
“You were in a bad place,” Finley said. “Plus, your own health was shit. You couldn’t get out of bed for days.”
“She doesn’t know that.”
He seemed lost in thought as he looked beyond her. “So tell her.”
“Whoa.” She sat back. “You’re telling me to call her?”
He shrugged.
“Finley, you hate this woman.”
“I didn’t hate her…I just thought she was a selfish bitch. That and a killer.”
“Yes, there was that wasn’t there?”
“Damn right. You can’t blame me for that. She looked guilty as hell. And somehow she almost pranced around with it as if she were proud.”
“You’re still jealous over her sexual confidence.”
He coughed. “What?”
“She overwhelmed you with her powers of seduction and you couldn’t handle it. I don’t think most men can. Take Hale for instance.”
“I am not Hale, and I don’t like the comparison, thank you very much.”
“I’m just saying.”
“Me? What about you? You—”
“All right, all right. It’s not something I’m proud of.”
“You’re saying it was bad?”
“No. I’m saying I was irresponsible. I’ve had to confess that to my superiors once already. I’d rather not hash through it again.”
He took another big bite of noodles. “Suit yourself. I’m just glad the press has moved on.”
“You and me both.”
“The sarge was right though. This was one big motherfucker of a case. It made us, you know.”
“Made you, maybe.” She played with her food again. “I’m afraid I don’t yet know what it’s done to me.”
He covered her hand with his own. “It made you a legend. You’ll see. Your instincts about her were right in the end. Despite the mounting evidence. And that’s something you can’t learn or buy.”
She offered a smile but didn’t totally feel it.
“Wanna come over and see S.J. walk? It’s a riot. We can’t get enough of it.” He smiled like the proud papa he was.
She wiped her mouth with her napkin. “I can’t. I’m meeting Samantha in an hour.”
“Samantha? Really?”
“Yes.”
He tsked. “She’s a player. Ignored you for weeks.”
“I know. And now that I’m semi-famous and in the papers, she wants to see me again.”
“So, what gives?”
“I don’t know. I just want to tell her to her face I’m not interested.”
He shook his head and motioned for the waiter for the check.
“Always a smartass. That’s my Maria.”
“That’s right and don’t you forget it.”
“I don’t think, my dear, that’s even humanly possible.”
* * *
Maria reached for her cane and stood from the couch. It had been an hour since she’d politely told Samantha that they shouldn’t see each other again. Samantha had tried to explain why she’d seen Avery and she swore that not much had happened, but Maria didn’t totally believe her innocent motives. It didn’t really matter anyway because they weren’t exclusive, but she knew she couldn’t see her again. The sex had been great, yes, but she wanted the whole package. And she wouldn’t settle for anything less.
She stared into the setting sun shining a brilliant gold into her front drapes. She walked as best she could with her stiff leg over to the window and closed the curtains and then walked to the door to bolt it.
She engaged the lock and saw that there were two messages on her old answering machine. She rarely answered her home phone and rarely paid attention to the machine. She pressed play and sighed as her mother’s voice pleaded with her to come stay with them while she was on the mend. And if she’d at least have someone in her life, they wouldn’t worry so much and on and on. Maria deleted the message and waited for the next one.
There was a long pause after the beep. Finally, she heard a woman’s voice. One she recognized at once.
“Hey, uh, it’s me. I’m not brave enough to leave this message on your cell phone so I called this number hoping to get a voice mail…”
The message went on, but there was a soft knock on her door. She stopped the message, unlocked the door, and pulled it open. She inhaled sharply at Avery Ashland, who had just been speaking on her machine, and now stood on her front stoop.
“Avery,” she breathed.
Avery pulled off her shades and smiled softly. It wasn’t over-confident or seductive in intent. It was just a wonderful, kind smile.
Maria almost swooned.
“Hi,” Avery said.
Maria shook her head, truly shocked to see her and her obvious change in demeanor. “Hi.”
“I left you a message, and when I didn’t hear back…”
“I was just now listening to it.”
“Oh.” She slid an elegant hand into her gray dress slacks and slid her shades back onto her head. Her blond hair was tightly pulled into a ponytail, and she looked paler than usual in a black shimmering short-sleeved blouse.
“Please, come in,” Maria stammered, stepping aside. Avery inched by her, and Horace jumped from the back of the couch to purr and weave between her legs.
Maria closed and locked the door and knelt carefully to scoop him up. “Please, excuse him. He thinks he’s the welcoming committee.”
Avery laughed and scratched his head. “He’s cute.”
Maria placed him back onto the couch and walked with her cane to offer Avery a seat.
“Please, make yourself comfortable.”
But Avery didn’t move. She looked anxious, a little hesitant even. “I don’t think I can sit right now.”
Maria stared at her, searching for clues.
“Did you listen to the whole message?”
“No, you knocked on the door.”
Avery touched her
temple. “Okay. Okay.” She finally looked at her. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch.”
Maria caught the sincerity in her voice. She’d never seen her or heard her like this.
“I’m sorry too. I should’ve checked on you in the hospital.”
Avery stepped toward her. “No, don’t.” She stopped and closed her eyes. “I should’ve come by long before this. Long before. But really, Maria, I’m a coward. That’s why I played games, slept around. I was hiding. Protecting myself from having true feelings. And now—Maria. I—I’m. I’ve only ever said this to one other woman, and let me tell you, what I feel for you is so much stronger. So much so that I can hardly take it. I feel like my heart’s going to burst right out of my chest. Maria…I’m in love with you. I came to tell you I’m in love with you. The phone message, it says the same, but I was too chicken shit to come here and tell you in person.”
Maria clenched her cane and stared incredulously. Her other hand found its way to cover her heart. She fought for breath.
“I—don’t know what to say.”
Avery took another step closer. “You don’t have to say anything. Just—let me hold you. All I want to do is hold you. I think I just might die right here on the spot if I don’t.”
Maria blinked as if what she were hearing and seeing weren’t real. “You want to hold me?”
Avery nodded. “More than anything.” She took another step and brushed Maria’s hair from her face. “May I?”
Maria whispered, “Yes.”
Avery took her gently in her arms and pressed her long, lean body to hers. Maria closed her eyes and inhaled her unique scent. Hints of amber and citrus and other heart-fluttering things she couldn’t name. Her heart pounded and she leaned into her and felt Avery’s own heartbeat with her free hand. It was racing faster than hers.
“You’re trembling,” Maria said.
“I can’t help it.”
Her breath in Maria’s ear sent shockwaves of desire right through her. Her skin came alive and she heated. “Me neither.”
Avery continued to brush her hair away from her cheek and ear. “I’ve wanted nothing but this for weeks on end. To be still with you, feel you, inhale you. God, you smell good.” She lightly kissed Maria’s neck, and Maria made a small noise of approval. “And I can’t forget how it felt to touch you. How wet you were. So hot and slick. I see your face as you came. I see it in my dreams.”
