A Stolen Kiss (Victorian Love Book 1)

by M. A. Nichols

  “You are right,” she murmured, meeting Aunt Mary’s gaze. “I have assumed the worst of Jack, and it has been unfair of me to do so.”

  She twisted her hands in her lap, her shoulders falling. “But how can I come to understand him when he will not speak to me? I accept that he is not one to chatter on, and he speaks freely about many subjects, but if the conversation turns too personal, he remains mute. I begged him to speak with me and explain his thoughts, and he simply walked away. How can I possibly hope to have a happy life with someone so distant?”

  With a sigh, Lily’s heart deflated. “When I first met him, I thought him domineering and insufferable. But as I’ve come to know him better, I’ve grown to adore his company. There is something in him that inspires me to be stronger, as though being with him makes me more confident and capable somehow.”

  Aunt Mary’s smile turned from sad to contemplative as her gaze grew distant. “From what I’ve heard, Jack is much improved as well, and that is the mark of a good match. Marriage is not just about finances, social standing, or even love. It is two people banding together to become something greater than they can be alone.”

  Those words brought a shimmer of tears to Lily’s eyes, though she fought against them. She could not bear crying yet again, but her aunt’s words flamed Lily’s longing for that sort of marriage.

  “But that said,” added Aunt Mary, “even the best pairings do not guarantee never-ending bliss. You both come into it with shortcomings and flaws. Are you willing to shoulder your Mr. Hatcher’s weaknesses as well as his strengths?”

  A shadow of desire clung to Lily’s heart. Despite everything that had happened in the last few days, it still resided there, begging her to try again. But the pressing fear of what heartache the future may bring balanced it out, leaving Lily unsure of which to choose. Like many others, she’d dreamt of finding love, and the phantom grooms she’d constructed in her daydreams were nothing like the stoic and unyielding Jack Hatcher. But even as she contemplated those fantasies, Lily couldn’t say she was unhappy with that twist of fate.

  Fiddling with the folds of her skirts, Lily could not come to any conclusions. “I know many young ladies marry in hopes that their groom will change for the better, and that only ends in disappointment.”

  “There is a difference between loving someone while seeing their potential and loving someone for that potential, and I fear too many young ladies don’t understand that,” replied Aunt Mary. “But you needn’t decide your future with Mr. Hatcher at this very moment. Now is simply about whether you’re willing to explore the possibility.”

  Aunt Mary unfolded the newspaper once more, perusing the contents. Lily was no closer to understanding her heart than she had been that morning or the day before, but there was no use in belaboring the issue any further.

  “I did not realize you were such an avid reader of the newspaper,” said Lily. It was a weak change in subject, but it was better than wallowing in confusion and uncertainty.

  “It is important to improve one’s mind,” replied Aunt Mary with a distracted tone. “And as your uncle has not the time to keep abreast of current events, I read through it for him and give him a report of the important points.”

  “Is there no news of Lucas?” asked Lily with a furrowed brow. Her stomach felt heavy as she realized that while she’d bemoaned her heartaches, her poor aunt was struggling with her own.

  “We believe he’s traveling with some friends, but Ambrose cannot find anything concrete,” she replied. Though Aunt Mary’s eyes did not leave the newspaper, strain pulled at the edges of her mouth and eyes. “I am certain everything will be made right in the end.”

  Aunt Mary’s words were light, but her tone was too stilted for Lily to put any stock in her attempt to deflect her worries. However, if Aunt Mary wished to feign nonchalance, Lily would not press the matter.

  “I wonder when Aunt Louisa-Margaretta will return,” said Lily. It was a silly thing to say, for she was quite enjoying a bit of peace with Aunt Mary at present and had no desire to rush her other aunt’s return. And that thought brought with it a wave of guilt. Aunt Louisa-Margaretta was a good and kind lady, but after weeks of spending so much time in her aunt and uncle’s care, Lily longed to return to her own home.

  Aunt Mary straightened, her eyes widening as she stared at the newspaper.

  “What is it?” asked Lily.

  But her aunt merely murmured, “That fool of a man.”

  Glancing from the paper, Aunt Mary looked at Lily with a deeply furrowed brow. She sat there, silent, her expression growing more pinched as her thoughts raced.

  “What is the matter?” Lily pressed.

  Aunt Mary sighed and folded the paper into a smaller size before handing it to Lily. With a frown, she took it and cast her eyes to the row of text. It took a moment of searching to discover what her aunt was referring to, but then Lily saw her own name printed in black and white.

  Buried among bits and pieces about social functions and entertainment, which was little more than thinly veiled gossip, was a section announcing engagements and marriages. And right in the middle was a short paragraph concerning Miss Lily Kingsley’s future wedding to Mr. Jonathan Hatcher. Lily’s hands clenched the edges of the paper, crumpling it as she stared at the words. While a small part of her heart leaped at the sight of their names paired together, her stomach churned as a chill skittered along her spine.

  “He agreed we would wait until my parents arrived home.” Lily looked to her aunt, the woman’s features blurring at the tears that sprung to Lily’s eyes. “He agreed to an informal engagement until then.”

  But quick on sorrow’s heels came a fire that melted away the cold gripping her heart. “He agreed to this and has gone back on his word!”

  Tossing the paper aside, Lily got to her feet as her fury pushed her to pace the room.

  “Why would he do this? Why?” Lily nearly shouted the question at Aunt Mary, though that dear lady had no more answers to this puzzle than she. “If you had seen the way he behaved yesterday, you would have thought him more likely to break with me than formally announce our engagement.”

  Aunt Mary opened her mouth, but Lily spoke over her. “And to do so while expressly going against our agreement! I cannot make heads nor tails of it, Aunt. It makes no sense.”

  “I dare say it does to Mr. Hatcher,” Aunt Mary replied. “Dear, please sit before you work yourself into a proper dither.”

  Begrudgingly, Lily sat on the sofa beside her aunt.

  Reaching over, Aunt Mary took Lily’s hands in hers. “There may yet be an explanation. Before you go charging in, temper flaring, it would be best to take a moment and think this through.”

  Lily’s shoulders drooped as the fight seeped out of her, and her heart did not have the strength to drum up tears once more.

  “How can I trust him, Aunt?” murmured Lily. “He seems determined to do as he pleases, regardless of my feelings on the matter. My father would not do such a thing to Mama.”

  “Dearest, I know it seems bleak at present, but no relationship is perfect from the start,” said Aunt Mary, wrapping her arms around Lily’s shoulders. “I am not saying you must continue courting Mr. Hatcher, but I would hate for you to surrender over something that could be merely a misunderstanding.”

  “How else can I interpret his behavior?” asked Lily, leaning away to give her aunt a stern look. “What he has done is unforgivable.”

  “You would be surprised at how much is forgivable with a bit of context.”

  Lily sagged at those words, and though she agreed with the sentiment, she struggled to see how this situation could be made any better. “But I am no longer certain I want to fight through this. It cannot bode well for a marriage when a mere courtship is so disastrous. I fear I am hoping for some perfect resolution that will never come.”

  Pulling Lily close, Aunt Mary took her in her arms as Lily began to weep anew.

  Chapter 28

  If J
ack were a drinking man, he’d be tempted to disappear into a bottle and not emerge for many days. Then he might have an excuse for such a ludicrous action. But as much as he wished to have something or someone to blame for his foolishness, Jack knew it rested on his shoulders. Of course, accepting the blame did not help him face the consequences.

  Sitting in a quiet corner of his favorite coffeehouse, Jack stared at the flaking paint on the wall. He’d not bothered going into the office, as Silas would have a few choice words for him, and though he longed to go pass the afternoon with Lily, Jack knew what awaited him if he did; she had every right to eviscerate him. When had he become a man who hides from problems?

  His cup sat beside him, growing cold, and Jack could not bring himself to drink it. Other patrons gathered together in groups, chattering away as though this were a perfectly fine day, and Jack wondered how they did not feel the storm clouds gathering. The only blessing to be found at the moment was that his seat was obscured from general view, giving him a semblance of privacy.

  How had he come to this?

  Jack had been approached by many men who longed to invest in wild schemes and attain the fortune and glory they dreamt would be theirs, and Jack turned them out on their ear because such men were prone to desperation, which led to foolhardy decisions. Rationality was Jack’s hallmark, but clearly, he had taken leave of his senses; if any associate had bungled his business as Jack had done with Lily, Jack would’ve washed his hands of the fellow and wished him good riddance.

  In business, it was easy for him to see the solution, but when it came to Lily, Jack was floundering.

  Scrubbing his hands through his hair, Jack rested his head against the armchair. His fingers tapped against the arm, ticking off the seconds that passed as he hid there.

  “You have the look of a dying man.”

  Jack stifled a growl. “You are possibly the last person I wish to see at present, DeVere.”

  Hand in his pockets, the young man stood to one side and dipped his head in acknowledgment. Though he rocked on his heels, DeVere did not leave. “I need to speak with you.”

  “I think you’ve done enough,” grumbled Jack. “After what has happened, I doubt Miss Kingsley will forgive me. The field is free for you to conquer.”

  DeVere winced at that, and Jack regretted the metaphor, but he had far greater regrets at present.

  “I owe you an apology,” said DeVere. And instead of scurrying away at Jack’s glower, the insolent pup took a seat in front of Jack. “Though I hadn’t planned to speak with you, my conscience won’t leave me be. I have apologized to Miss Kingsley, but you deserve one as well, for it is you I was aiming to hurt.”

  Jack straightened in his seat, his eyes narrowing on DeVere. “What did you do to Miss Kingsley?”

  DeVere raised his hands. “Nothing terrible.” He paused. “At least not wholly terrible.” Inching forward, Jack’s gaze bore into DeVere’s pale eyes, and the young man hurriedly added, “I treated her callously, but I assure you, I have spoken with her and made amends.”

  The building pressure in Jack’s chest eased at that, though he could not relax.

  The young man’s face heated, his eyes darting around the room, though they refused to land on Jack. DeVere cleared his throat. “My behavior towards her was not in earnest. I knew flirting with her would make you jealous. By doing so, I toyed with both her affections and those of the woman I love.”

  “You do not love Miss Kingsley?” Jack’s brows shot upwards, his breath catching in his lungs. The idea was ludicrous, but Jack needed to be certain he understood the fellow.

  “I am courting Miss Aubrey Valentine.” Though a somber tone clung to the conversation, DeVere broke into a silly grin at those words, but it disappeared at the sight of Jack’s scowl.

  Miss Aubrey Valentine? What fool in their right mind would choose that chit over Lily? It was absurd. Though Jack was not closely acquainted with her, he knew her father and had a passing knowledge of the girl. He supposed Miss Aubrey was pretty enough and seemed a good sort, but Lily was superior in every aspect. Clearly, Jack had been correct in thinking DeVere would never thrive in business for he lacked sound judgment.

  DeVere stared off into the distance with a smile tugging at his lips until Jack cleared his throat and drew him into the present.

  “I toyed with Miss Kingsley’s heart, and it was wrong of me, but I have already spoken with her about it,” said DeVere, shifting in his seat. “What I came here to do was to offer my apologies to you.”

  The fellow sighed, shifted in his seat once more, and stared at the floorboards as though they were terribly interesting.

  “I have been angry with you—unjustly so—and I saw your regard for Miss Kingsley and used it to make you miserable,” said DeVere. “It was wrong of me to interfere with your courtship and treat you both so poorly.”

  Jack’s brows drew together. “You’ve been angry with me?”

  DeVere sighed and reclined in his seat. “When you and Silas left the navy to start this grand adventure on your own, I was desperate to join you.”

  “But you could not resign yet,” added Jack, hurrying the narrative past that which he already knew. “You came for a visit later but then disappeared.”

  He grimaced and gave a quick nod. “It was childish of me, but I believed we would be partners like you and Silas, but you offered me a position as a glorified laborer.”

  “Of course I did,” said Jack with a scowl. “You are a fine fellow, but you’ve no head for business, and I will not risk our employees’ livelihoods for you.”

  DeVere gave a low chuckle and shook his head with a rueful smile. “Your honesty still borders on brutal, Hatch.”

  “But I offered to help you find something better suited for you—”

  “And I did say that my behavior was childish and was unjust.” DeVere scratched at his jaw, his expression falling. “You were generous to me, but I took offense and allowed my pride to keep me from following your sound advice. Luckily, Miss Aubrey is exceptionally patient and willing to be similarly brutal when I need a good shake.”

  A ghost of a smile played across Jack’s lips when his thoughts turned to another lady with similar talents, but it faded as he reflected on the mess he’d made of things.

  “Thank you for your kindness to a silly, blind fool, and I apologize for any hurt I may have caused,” said DeVere.

  Jack gave a nod and examined the young man sitting before him. “Have you found a position?”

  DeVere’s brows rose. “After all I’ve done, you would help me get one?”

  “You’ve admitted your mistake and earnestly expressed remorse,” said Jack with a shrug. “That already marks you as a man worth helping. And I cannot imagine you’ve changed all that much from the young man that I sailed with. You were a poor sailor, but you’ve a good heart and a sharp mind.”

  With a sigh, DeVere dropped his head. He rubbed his forehead for several quiet moments before finally speaking. “You are a far better man than I ever knew, Hatch.”

  Straightening again, DeVere met Jack’s gaze. “I thank you for your offer, but I’ve already taken steps to follow the advice you gave me all those years ago. I took a position as a clerk to Lord Dewhurst. It’s a lowly start, but I have high hopes that it will lead to something more substantial.”

  “He is influential in the House of Lords and the Department of the Treasury,” said Jack with a thoughtful nod. “Impress him and you’ll have plenty of lucrative offers before long. I think you will do well in politics.”

  DeVere’s cheeks colored. “Yes, as you told me before. I just wish I was not such a prideful fool to have ignored it for so long. I might’ve been married to Miss Aubrey and well established by this time.”

  Jack huffed and shook his head. No matter how he tried to reconcile it, he could not fathom why DeVere would choose a lady like Miss Aubrey over Lily. And Jack told him so.

  DeVere stared at Jack as though he were a raving madman
, but Jack knew it was DeVere who’d taken leave of his senses.

  “Even if I had wished to pursue Miss Kingsley, she has no interest in being pursued by me,” said DeVere.

  Jack’s fingers tapped a rapid pace along the arm of the chair. “Well, I offer my congratulations to you and Miss Aubrey.”

  “There is nothing to congratulate quite yet,” said DeVere. “Her father has only allowed me to pay court to her at present. Until I can prove myself a ‘steady chap’ with a decent income, I am not free to go any further. But we have hope and that is enough for now.”

  Leaning forward with a smile, DeVere smiled at Jack. “Though you are certainly deserving of congratulations yourself.”

  Jack’s heart fell from his chest, landing with a thud on the floor, but it sunk even lower when DeVere continued.

  “I saw the announcement in the newspaper. The engagement is formalized, then? When is the wedding?”

  The hole in his chest collapsed in on itself, leaving Jack shrunken and shriveled inside. He had no reply to give for anything other than the truth was unacceptable, and Jack could not bring himself to speak the words aloud and admit the full breadth of his mistake. He’d come to this quiet, out of the way coffee shop for the sole purpose of avoiding anyone who would ask him such questions.

  “That is not the expression of a happy man,” said DeVere, his brows pulling together. “Has something happened? The last I saw Miss Kingsley, she was enamored.”

  Jack stiffened, his gaze searching DeVere’s for the truth in his words. The fellow seemed to believe them, though Jack could not accept it so easily.

  “What did you do?” asked DeVere. At Jack’s puzzled look, he added, “Miss Kingsley is a sweet lady, and if a rift has formed, I doubt it is of her making.”

  A quick defense came to Jack’s lips, but he had enough sense to keep it tucked away. As much as it would be gratifying to lay the blame on Lily and DeVere, Jack knew he held much of the blame. DeVere may have struck the match that had led to this burning heap, but Jack had laid the kindling and nursed it into a proper blaze.