In Stitches (Rose Valley Hospital Book 1)

by Sarah Collins

  Roya wished she got to work with Olivia more often. She wanted to admire her best friend up close. She wanted to watch the effortless skill and impossibly fast improvisations. Even the way Olivia crinkled her brow, just visible between her cap and mask, made Roya want to smooth the wrinkles away with her lips.

  Fucking around with Norah hadn’t curved her lust for Olivia. All she could think about now was tasting Olivia’s lips, pressing their bodies together, and waking up to pure bliss the next morning. She wanted a forever with Olivia. Fantasizing about it simply wasn’t enough anymore.

  After the surgery, Roya made her way to Olivia’s office to offer congratulations. Getting noticed by other surgeons was one of the best feelings after a particularly grueling procedure. Olivia deserved getting to feel that way, even if it only came from Roya—though she suspected many others would come by throughout the day.

  She saw the exhaustion lines framing Olivia’s face as soon as she stepped in the large office. The feeling was common after a long and taxing operation. Olivia smiled as she lowered the coffee mug from her lips.

  “I was expecting you to come by soon.”

  Roya tilted her head. “How’d you know?”

  “I saw you up in the gallery,” Olivia answered. She flashed her million-dollar smile. “Thank you.”

  “You always support me,” Roya grinned. “Figured I’d return the favor.”

  “So you weren’t really interested in the petrosal sinus sampling?”

  Roya rolled her eyes playfully. “It had me on the edge of my seat. Riveting.”

  “Oh hush.” Olivia laughed then, and Roya wanted to listen to it forever. She leaned back in her plush office chair. “What I wouldn’t give for a nap right now.”

  “Take one,” Roya encouraged. “I always do. Make sure you lock the door first.”

  “Of course you do.” Olivia shook her head; Roya was the laziest, most brilliant doctor she knew. She tapped her pen against the edge of her desk. “Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? I want to hear all about this intern thing.”

  “Sounds great,” Roya agreed easily, but her heart decided to start pounding right at that moment. She had to fight back the queasy nervousness building in her stomach. “But Norah isn’t a thing. Just a…small thing.”

  When Olivia quirked a brow, Roya knew she wouldn’t hear the end of it. “A small thing…got it.”

  “It’s not like we’re dating. What? We’re not.”

  Olivia brushed it off with a flick of her wrist. “We can talk about it over some wine tonight.”

  Roya didn’t catch the wink Olivia offered. She was too busy struggling to find the words to explain that Norah was only a fill-in for the woman she really desired. She stood to leave so Olivia could rest, only turning once she pulled the door open. “See you tonight.”

  “This is why we’re friends,” Roya said upon seeing a large pizza on the living room table.

  Olivia’s house was much larger than her rented apartment. Decorated better too. And probably cost twice as much as Roya could even comprehend paying for a living space per month. The blankets were all folded, the chairs pushed in, and the sink completely devoid of dirty dishes. Olivia swept the dust from the corners and put away her things as soon as she stepped inside. It was amazing, really, and Roya still didn’t understand how Olivia pulled it off so effortlessly.

  “And here I was thinking it was because I had something to offer,” Olivia retorted. She held out her hand for Roya’s jacket. The orthopedic surgeon was notorious for throwing it on a random chair and forgetting it. Olivia hung it up on the coat rack on the door instead. “I got the usual. Would you like something to drink?”

  “Whatever you’re having.”

  She watched Olivia walk to the bar nestled in the corner of the kitchen. Even after a stressful day, the woman looked picturesque. Her blonde hair fell in curls around her shoulders and a long pendant hung in the v-neck of her shirt. Her dark jeans looked tailored for her body, tapering tightly at the ankles and hugging every curve. Sometimes Roya wondered if Olivia even owned a pair of sweatpants.

  Olivia handed her a strong red wine in a stemless glass. Roya appreciated it. Though her hands could perform the most menial task in surgery, she was extraordinarily clumsy outside of the hospital. They carried the glasses and plates into the den to get eat, just as they had done for years. Their knees touched on the small loveseat when the sat. Roya briefly wondered why they never sat on the larger couch, but she didn’t want to question it. Sitting like this was more comfortable anyway.

  Olivia settled on the newest episode of a cringe-worthy reality show. They both enjoyed series like this, embarrassingly enough. Work was too technical to expend energy on a television show at home. Now was the time to unwind and mentally divest from reality. Perhaps it wasn’t healthy, but it was fun.

  “I wonder who she’ll give the roses to this week,” Olivia said. She demurely bit into her pizza, sipped her wine, and then turned her attention to Roya. “Do you think you’ll ever be with men again? Or is this more of an…experiment type thing?”

  Roya sputtered around a mouthful of wine. She expected Olivia to ease into this later in the night; not jump the gun before Roya even got a chance to orient herself. “What? I mean…I don’t know. It’s more than experiment.”

  Olivia placed her hand on Roya’s leg, right above the knee. It seemed friendly enough, but Roya felt how it scorched her skin.

  “We don’t have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable.”

  “I’m not uncomfortable,” Roya refuted. The only thing making her slightly uncomfortable was Olivia’s hand. She didn’t want her to move it, but its very presence made her flustered. “I’m trying to come to terms with it. I knew myself as one way my whole life and now I’m realizing…that wasn’t me at all.”

  “So it’s more of a permanent thing?”

  Roya shrugged. “Norah, no. Women? Yes.”

  Olivia removed her hand to take another bite of her pizza. She washed it down with another sip of her fancy wine. “Why not with Norah? I heard the sex was amazing.”

  “Fucking interns.” Roya would laugh if it didn’t embarrass her so much. At least Norah didn’t go around telling everyone that Roya was a lousy lay. That would’ve been even more embarrassing. “It’s not bad. And she’s not bad. She’s just…”

  “Young? Inexperienced?”

  “All of the above,” Roya laughed finally. “But then again, so am I. We should still probably end it soon.”

  “Probably. It’s only a matter of days before HR hears about it.”

  “As if they’d do anything,” Roya retorted. A minute or two ticked by in strained silence. Well, strained for Roya. Olivia looked completely at ease as she ate, drank, and watched television. Just like the good old days. Roya missed those days. But she also craved more. Needed more. Sitting inches-close to her best friend, but not doing anything more than that—it wasn’t cutting it anymore.

  Roya worked up her courage. Glanced at Olivia out of the corner of her eye. “Have you ever been with a woman before?”

  Olivia looked nonplussed. “I considered it. Briefly.”

  Roya gasped at the simple admission. “What happened?”

  “She wasn’t interested,” Olivia answered, shrugging. “Not when it came down to it.”

  “I highly doubt that. Look at you. You’re gorgeous.”

  Olivia turned her head so fast that she nearly got whiplash. Something about the admission sounded more sincere than anything Roya had ever said to Olivia in her life. It felt…real. Visceral. Olivia strangely began to blush. She allowed a smile to hide her reaction.

  “Roya… already turning into a regular Rico Suave.”

  The dark haired woman laughed. It was tinged with sarcasm and maybe a little insecurity. “Oh please. I have a while before that happens.”

  Olivia flicked her eyebrow upward. Roya wondered what it meant, but realized she was too afraid to push any further. She
liked—no, she loved Olivia. Admired her, loved her, and wanted to spend the rest of their days together. She wanted everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. All of it. Olivia…well, she wasn’t sure what Olivia wanted. But getting rejected was not on Roya’s to-do list today.

  She shifted slightly on the couch so that they were no longer touching. The warmth and comfort were missed instantly. But she didn’t want to risk doing something stupid right now. Things were just now getting back to normal between them after the massive blow up the other day. It felt too good to lose it again.

  When she started to leave a few hours later, they lingered at the door for a moment too long. Usually, they’d give a hug and quick peck on the check. Maybe even call out some well wishes, or a let me know when you make it home safely. Tonight, however, Roya felt weird around her friend for the first time in her life and she wasn’t entirely sure why. She shuffled awkwardly on the front stoop. It seemed like Olivia was doing the same.

  “Well…” Roya started. She trailed off and shoved her hands in her pockets. The silence settled heavily around them again.

  Olivia grasped at straws. “Are you working tomorrow?”

  “No. Are you?”

  The blonde shook her head. “No.”

  Roya bit at the corner of her thumb. What had gotten into them? This wasn’t how they worked. They didn’t fight to find words or feel comfortable around each other. They just…were. But right now they definitely weren’t.

  It showed.

  “Is everything okay?” Olivia finally asked. She stood in the middle of the open doorway, overlooking the empty street. “I hope you know that nothing has changed between us. At least not on my end. I still love you just as much as I loved you before. You liking women doesn’t change that.”

  A whoosh of relief filtered through Roya’s body. She didn’t even realize that she had been waiting on such an admission. But with that came an unadulterated feeling of desire. Olivia understood her. She didn’t care that Roya liked women. Maybe that meant she liked women, too.

  “That means a lot to me,” Roya admitted.

  She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. With Olivia looking at her like that, all green eyes and perfect hair and perfect tits, Roya could barely breathe. They were polar opposites, in both looks and work ethic, but melded into the perfect pair. Perfect. Why couldn’t this work? Roya had to test it. If it didn’t pan out, then it didn’t pan out. But she would beat herself up for eternity if she never tried. Olivia was worth the potential payout.

  Roya stepped forward and slipped her hand onto Olivia’s hip. Pulled them barely a breadth apart. “Liv…”

  They both anticipated what came next.

  Roya pressed their lips together, savoring the softness of her best friend. Olivia tasted sweet, like wine, and solid, like forever. The world felt nonexistent around them. Olivia responded, tentatively opening her mouth for Roya to explore, take, love. It was electric. Roya was sure that even the neighbors, tucked away in their homes, could feel the shock running haywire between them. She wanted to pull their bodies together, taste more than Olivia’s mouth. She wanted to hold hands. Make love. Wake up next to one another forever.

  Olivia had different plans.

  The blonde pulled back suddenly. She placed her fingertips against her now unoccupied lips. “Roya…

  Roya instantly took a step back. “No. Don’t say anything. I get it—“

  “I don’t want to hurt you—“

  “Seriously,” Roya cut in again. She adamantly shook her head, her hands, anything to keep Olivia from finishing that sentence. It wasn’t needed; Roya could see all the explanation she needed in Olivia’s eyes. She took another step away, angled her body towards the driveway. “You don’t have to say anything, okay? I think the wine got to me or something. It didn’t mean anything.”

  Olivia tilted her head to the side. “I think it did.”

  “I think you’re wrong.”

  Roya wanted to cry. She wanted to have a breakdown right here on the front porch. But instead, she hardened her face to cover her emotions. She hoped her smile didn’t look as forced as it felt. “Just forget about it. Please. I’ll see you Friday.”

  She didn’t wait for an answer before turning away and practically running towards her car. Vaguely, she thought Olivia called out her name. But her steps didn’t falter; the last thing she wanted was for Olivia to see her cry.

  And she was crying. Big, fat ugly tears that hadn’t fallen from her eyes since middle school. She cried for the pain of the present and the loss of a potential future. Buying a house, starting a family, loving each until death do they part—that path was no longer on the table for them. Roya would never be with Olivia, and Olivia would never want to be with Roya.

  It stung. It hurt like hell. Inside the parked car, Roya stared through her windshield with blurry eyes. Didn’t she know it would come to this? God dammit. She smacked her hands against the steering wheel until it hurt. In one second, she singlehandedly ruined the best friendship she had ever had. She lost everything the second their lips touched.

  One single, stupid, wonderful second.

  Chapter 9

  Roya turned this way and that, checking out her outfit in the long mirror attached to her closet door. She looked pretty sexy, if she thought so herself. Dressing up was a rarity in her life, but when she did it—heads were sure to turn. Her hair was long and straight, hitting well past the sleeveless straps of her blouse. The jeans made her legs feel a little stiff, but they showed off her length. She almost wished she could go out in scrubs anyway.

  But Taylor had insisted she look nice tonight. They were originally going to catch up over dinner, but changed plans last minute. Instead of going to a cheap chain restaurant with unlimited margaritas, they were now headed to a new bar downtown. It had just opened last month, but sustained a steady amount of customers nightly. People usually lined up down the sidewalk waiting to get in. And when she pulled up in the taxi later, that still held true.

  She wove her way through a throng of people, through the mass at the front door, and still managed to find Taylor leaning against the bar. The other surgeon looked laid-back in a pair of black jeans and a plain white shirt. But it suited her short, messy hair in a way that only amplified her attraction.

  Taylor had saved an empty seat beside her, and Roya thanked god under her breath. Large crowds weren’t normally her preference; having a space to slowly start the night seemed like a blessing.

  “Hope it wasn’t too hard to get inside,” Taylor said in terms of a greeting. She watched Roya get comfortable on the barstool. “Want something to drink?”

  “Oh, god yes.” Roya scanned the rows of alcohol behind the bar. “Maybe a whiskey sour?”

  “Starting off strong. I like it.” A smirk slid across Taylor’s lips. She really was attractive, but Roya wasn’t interested in her that way. Besides, Taylor had no plans of settling down anytime soon. “So…how do you like the place?”

  Roya finally turned in her seat and began to assess the inside of the building. The crowded space was filled with pink strobe lights, electric disco music, and dancers shoved in every crevice. She watched clumps of men and women worm their way to the bar for drinks. Others slid into the shady corners to use vaporizers of varying kinds. Puffs of sour smoke rolled across the room, accentuating the outrageous, sometimes scandalous outfits of the patrons. G-strings, high heels, and snapback hats filled the room. As she scanned more and more people, she began to have her suspicions about what kind of place this really was.

  “Taylor…is this a gay bar?”

  The other surgeon smiled salaciously. “Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner! Is this your first time?”

  Roya nodded her head. She had wanted to go several times, especially to one in college that her friends often frequented. But she was too busy with class or working to go out on the weekends back then. Now that she was a doctor, her schedule was just as packed so she hardly did anything. She wa
s surprised when she heard herself accept the invitation. This was fun, though. She enjoyed the scene, the energy, and the prospect of going home with someone new.

  After a few drinks, Taylor and Roya were going back and forth like a pair of well-seasoned friends. Taylor slurped down the remainder of her cucumber twist. “So tell me, Roya. How long have you been interested in women?”

  Roya felt her cheeks color. But the alcohol made her feel loose, more vulnerable than usual. She bit at the smile tempting her lips.

  “Recently,” Roya grinned at Taylor’s gasp. “And I think I like playing for this team a lot more than the other one.”

  A bona fide squeal left Taylor’s throat. “How recently?”

  “Last week,” Roya laughed. She took a large sip of her drink. It hardly stung her throat anymore. “But I think I’ve always known that’s what I really wanted all along.”

  “I remember my first time,” Taylor finished off her drink and opted for a glass of water. The music played louder as the night crept on. Taylor leaned over until their shoulders brush just to be heard. “Was it Olivia?”

  Roya jerked away from Taylor in shock. “What? No. Why would you think that? No way.”

  Taylor’s eyebrows shot up. “Something about that doesn’t sound convincing.”

  “Seriously,” Roya said firmly. “She isn’t even gay. Besides, I don’t like her that way.”

  She knew it was a lie, Taylor knew it was a lie, but surprisingly, Taylor didn’t push it. They sat in silence then, sipping their drinks and watching the crowd until a woman slipped up between them. The stranger had big hair and a bigger smile. Her crop top showed off her toned torso and the shorts touted what were practically runway legs. Taylor winked towards Roya. She wondered what it meant until the new woman angled her body in a way that Taylor was no longer in the picture.