Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries 09 - Lethal Cruise

by A. R. Winters

  “Do I have to?”

  “Yes!” we both said.

  “It was because of the note. That’s why we did it.” He looked at me. “Sorry,” he said in a small voice.

  Ethan and I looked at each other curiously.

  “Tell us about the note. Tuff skipped over that part.”

  “He skipped the note? Then you must think we’re a pair of psychos!”

  “It had crossed my mind,” I told him.

  “After you two spoke to us, a note showed up in our cabin. It said that you were going to try and frame us for killing Bruno. It said you just wanted to find the easiest person to blame, and that would be us. It said you didn’t care if we were guilty or not; you just needed a culprit. And you chose us because we’re not, like, super-geniuses or anything.”

  “Who was the note from?”

  “It was from a friend.”

  “Who? What friend?” I asked eagerly.

  “I don’t know,” Canyon said, shrugging his broad shoulders. “It just said at the end of the note, from a friend.”

  “Did you ever think that maybe they weren’t your friend?” Ethan asked.

  Canyon scrunched up his face in thought, then his mouth dropped open. “Oh no.”

  “What else did the note say?”

  “It said we should threaten Adrienne, really scare her. That then she’d drop the whole investigation. She’d be spooked off.”

  Ethan and I looked at each other incredulously.

  “You really think I’d stop because of that? If anything, it would make me more determined!”

  “But it would turn our attention elsewhere,” Ethan said thoughtfully. “If it distracted us for a few days, the real culprit might even have time to enjoy the rest of the cruise back to New Orleans and escape when everyone departed.”

  Canyon’s eyes went wide. “Do you think the murderer sent that note?”

  “Could have,” Ethan said in a calm tone.

  I’m sure that internally he was yelling just as loud as I was, ‘Of course the real killer sent the note, you Jell-O-brained, pretty, pretty man!’ Or something like that.

  “Can we see the note?”

  He shook his head.

  “No. It said to destroy it. So we did.”

  “Are you sure you didn’t just throw it away?” Ethan leaned forward hopefully.

  “Oh, no, we’re not idiots.” Canyon laughed, as if the idea of them being so stupid was preposterous. “We ate it.”

  “You what?”

  “We ate it,” Canyon said, smug pride on his face. “Half and half. Tore it right down the middle and ate it.”

  “You ate the paper?” Ethan sounded incredulous again. These two really brought it out of him.

  “Yep. Totally destroyed. Clever, huh?”

  “Something like that…”

  My hopes weren’t high, but I wondered whether we might be able to get some kind of clue about who the note was from.

  “What about the handwriting on the note? Do you think it looked like a man’s or a woman’s? Was it flowery cursive writing? Were the letters rounded or jagged? Did it look shaky?”

  I was thinking about who the note could have been from. Apart from the other suspects we’d been focusing on, there was one more. Miffy. She’d spent time with the models and knew how dumb they were. Maybe she had tried to manipulate them? Though her motive for killing Bruno wasn’t the strongest.

  “I don’t know. They were just words, you know? Not cursive though, no way, I can’t read that so good. The ink was blue, though.”

  “Blue?”

  “Yeah. Or maybe black. Black or blue, definitely.”

  “And the paper?”

  “White. I think.”

  “So that’s all? You read the note, and then you decided to threaten me?”

  Canyon nodded.

  “Yes. I’m sorry about that, Adrienne. We didn’t really want to hurt you. But the note said you had it in for us. It didn’t seem fair. Why would you do that?”

  “I didn’t have it in for you. I was just trying to solve the crime. If you were innocent, you wouldn’t have gotten in trouble. But now you are in trouble.”

  “Was there anything else with the note?” Ethan asked.

  “Just the mask.”

  Ethan pulled out a plastic bag from inside his jacket pocket, and inside the back was the mask we found in their room.

  “This mask?”

  “You found it!?”

  “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then.”

  “My mom told me no one would ever find anything hidden below a bottom drawer. That’s where I used to hide everything when I was a kid!”

  I was pretty sure Canyon’s mother knew all his secrets as a kid.

  “I guess we must be nearly as smart as your mom,” Ethan said. “Could tell us what actually happened with Adrienne?”

  “Umm, we followed her out of a steak restaurant. She went outside. We followed her real good and hid when she turned around. Then I went to give her a scare. I put the mask on, and a hat on my head so I couldn’t be recognized, and I grabbed her! But she fought back and nearly escaped. And then some crazy guy came charging at me like he was going to attack me!”

  That story sounded pretty much like how I remembered it happening too.

  “Where was Tuff at that time?”

  “He was still hiding behind a planter. We played rock, paper, scissors to see who would have to do it.”

  “Why didn’t you both do it?” I asked, curious.

  Canyon reached out and tapped the bag on the table in front of Ethan.

  “We only had one mask.”

  “Unbelievable,” I said, shaking my head.

  “What’s going to happen to us now?”

  “You’re going to be locked up in the brig until we return to port.”

  “Locked up!? But we’ve got work to do!”

  “You should have thought of that before you assaulted a senior staff member. Now, get up.”

  Canyon pushed his chair back and stood up, picking up his sunglasses and putting them back on as he did so.

  “I can’t believe you told them,” Canyon said to Tuff when we were back outside.

  “I didn’t tell them anything!”

  “Then what’d you say ‘sorry’ for then? Huh?”

  “Because they told me to!”

  Tuff’s brow crinkled, then he stood up, an angry look on his face. I was glad I had Ethan beside me.

  “You can’t do that! You tricked him!”

  “It’s double jeopardy!” Canyon complained.

  “It’s entrapment!” Tuff whined.

  “It’s neither, and I think you both owe each other an apology for being so gullible. Now come on. I’ll show you to your new suite.”

  Their eyes lit up at that. A suite? their look seemed to say.

  Ethan and two of his security officers walked the two criminals the short distance down the hallway out of the security office to the small cabins that were used as a brig.

  Their gaze definitely fell when we closed the door behind them on their new cell.

  “This isn’t a suite,” Tuff said from the other side of the door.

  “And you better bring down our lotion! If I get any worry wrinkles, I’m going to sue!”

  “The air is very dry in here!”

  “Come on,” Ethan said. “Let’s go to my office.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Ethan and I left the security center and went up to his office, just down the hall from the captain’s. The rich smell of wood and leather put me at ease after the somewhat tense interviews with Tuff and Canyon.

  We sat down on the leather sofas, on opposite sides of the coffee table.

  “We got a confession out of them for attacking you. But what about Bruno? Do you buy their story about the secret note?”

  “And eating it? Yeah, I think I do. I don’t think they’d be smart enough to invent a note, but I do think they’d be dumb enough to eat it
instead of burning it or tossing it overboard. And they had much less motivation to kill Bruno than some of the other people aboard the ship.”

  “They didn’t have much motivation to attack you either,” Ethan reminded, “but they were easily pressured into it. I don’t think we can trust them at all. Anyway, Tuff and Canyon are staying locked up for the rest of the cruise. Their assault on you is more than enough reason.”

  “Yep.” Maybe it was time to re-visit some of the people I’d already spoken to. “I think I might ask Nurse Jessica again what she thinks. Maybe she knows more about the models than us.”

  “But you don’t believe they stole the Phytox. So…”

  I grinned at him.

  “But if I tell Nurse Jessica that we do think they did it, maybe something will jog her memory, or she’ll have some new suggestions for me. I haven’t spoken to her in a while, and it will give me an excuse to drop by. Now that she’s had more time to think about who it might have been, she might be able to suggest some suspects. Or she might have seen a passenger acting strangely.”

  “Ask her what she thinks of Miffy. We know she tried to meet with the models at least once.”

  “Good idea. I’ll go and see her now. Since she’s basically out of stock, I doubt she’ll be too busy.”

  Ethan and I both stood up. He hugged me and then held me by the arms.

  “One other thing. I asked around about Keith—I managed to get in contact with a few other catering employees on other ships and head office.”

  “And?”

  “He seems popular. No one had a bad thing to say about him, and they all said he was a quiet but competent worker. None of them mentioned him having a mean streak, criminal connections, or any vices that might be exploited through blackmail.”

  “I told you I thought he was a good guy.” I was pleased that Ethan had confirmed my intuition, but it was still annoying that we hadn’t made any progress on who had been tormenting me.

  “We’ll have to keep going down through our list.”

  Ethan squeezed my arms in confirmation. “Take care.”

  Ethan leaned in toward me again, but as he did so there was a rapid-fire knocking at the door before it swung open.

  “Ethan!” said the captain as he burst in. “Got a moment?”

  I waved a hand at the captain. “Don’t worry. I was just leaving.”

  I left Ethan and the out-of-breath captain to whatever new crisis the ship’s chief had concocted. Time to talk to Nurse Jessica again.

  When I got to her beauty consultation room, Jessica was sitting on one of the chairs in the waiting-room section of the room, with no sign of anyone else.

  “Quiet day, huh?”

  Jessica hopped to her feet.

  “Sure is. I sent the receptionist home. Or wherever it is she goes. I’m all out of Phytox, apart from the stuff I’ve got reserved for my original bookings, so I’m just hanging around hoping people will come in to make a reservation for when we’re back in New Orleans.”

  “That must be so annoying,” I said sympathetically.

  “It feels like it’s been such a waste of time to come all the way out here.” She slumped back down into a chair. “Did you find anything out about who broke into my cabin?”

  “I’ll tell you what I’ve got, and you tell me whether you think there could be a connection.”

  I explained to Jessica how Tuff and Canyon had received a note and ended up attacking me late at night. She looked suitably sympathetic and asked about my wellbeing and if there was anything she could to do help.

  “So what do you think?” I asked her. “Do you think they could’ve stolen your Phytox? We think that maybe they invented this idea of a note to try and throw us off the scent.”

  Jessica looked at me dubiously.

  “I hate to think that we’ve got multiple criminals running around on the ship…”

  “But…”

  “But I’ve met those guys. I just don’t think they have the smarts. And although I said I didn’t remember what the housekeeper looked like, I feel like I would remember if it was one of them, you know? Even with a mask on their face, they have such lovely skin and bone structure I’m sure I would have noticed it—and their size! They’re tall! I just remember the housekeeper as being non-distinct. Forgettable. I think even if they were hunched over, I would have noticed them. You can’t hide shoulders like that.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “And,” she continued, “would they even know how to go about using the Phytox to inject someone? I guess if your only goal is to overdose someone it’s not too difficult, but I wonder if they would even think of it. I would imagine they’d be more likely to smash someone over the head.”

  We both shuddered at the image. But she made some good points—Ethan and I hadn’t considered her initial description again. We only recalled that she didn’t remember anything useful. Even if she didn’t remember anything useful, it must have been because the housekeeper was really nondescript, and a giant model would have stood out, face mask or not.

  “Okay. Then I guess I’m pretty sure they didn’t steal the Phytox. I don’t suppose you have any other guesses? Now that you’ve had a bit more of a chance to meet your other colleagues and some of the passengers?”

  “You know, there is maybe… no…” Nurse Jessica interrupted her train of thought with a little shake of her head, unwilling to continue.

  That had me intrigued.

  “What? Please, go on. Anything at all could be helpful. Even if you think it couldn’t.”

  “I’m sorry, I just hate to gossip.” She pulled a tight-lipped smile. “I’ve been hurt too much myself by people spreading rumors.”

  “I won’t spread it anywhere else. I promise.”

  “One of my customers—in fact, the only one I had today—she was…” Jessica took a moment to think about how she wanted to put it “…seen with those two models. And this Bruno was a blackmailer, right?” She looked at me for confirmation and I gave her a nod. The word had gotten out. “Maybe Bruno threatened to blackmail her over it?”

  I gave Jessica a reassuring smile. “Oh, you mean Miffy? I actually asked her about that already. She assured me that the ladies in her set would be thrilled for her.”

  Jessica gave me a disbelieving look, eyebrows raised. “Really? I actually know some of the ladies in her church group, customers of mine, and they’re very, umm, ‘conservative’ would be how I would put it. Old-fashioned. She’s kind of an outlier. At least, she is on this cruise. I can’t imagine she behaves like that on shore.”

  “Wait, did you say her church group?”

  “That’s right.”

  Miffy had told me that Bruno had threatened her by saying he would inform the members of the local historical society. Had she misled me?

  “That is interesting. Thank you, Jessica.”

  “Please don’t tell anyone I was spreading rumors. It’s not what I do at all.”

  “Of course I won’t. And you weren’t—you were simply assisting in a murder investigation. You’ve done nothing wrong, Jessica.”

  “Thank you.” She got to her feet. “I think I’ll close up shop for the day. Maybe for the cruise. I’m sure I’ve got all the bookings I’m going to get.”

  “I bet some more people will come and see you just before we return to port.”

  She brightened at that.

  “Do you think so?”

  “I know so.”

  With a wave, I left her, vowing to make sure I sent out some positive vibes her way. Well, perhaps not vibes. Social media posts would probably be more effective than whatever ‘vibes’ I may be able to conjure up.

  Now, where could Miffy be?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  M iffy, Bitsy, Esmerelda, and Chastity were all sitting together at a table in the International Buffet. There were two empty bottles of wine in front of them and a third, open one that looked like it would soon be as empty as its friends.

 
“Adrienne!” they called out when they saw me approaching, happy smiles on all their faces.

  “Hello, everyone,” I said to the group. I pointed to a chair with a questioning look and they invited me to sit down. “How are you enjoying your cruise?”

  “It’s wonderfully fun, look,” Bitsy said, showing me some freshly applied acrylic nails.

  “And look,” said silver-haired Esmerelda, pointing at the new violet highlights which streaked her otherwise silver hair.

  “And look at this,” said Chastity, waving a piece of paper at me.

  “What’s that?” I asked her in amusement.

  “It’s my booking to get Phytox when we’re back ashore.” She turned to look at Miffy with a fake angry glare. “She took the last booking! If I’d known the supplies were going to be stolen, I would have got in ahead of her!”

  Miffy beamed at me. “Can you tell? I just had it done!”

  I looked closely at her, and she did seem to have even fewer wrinkles than she had before. Not that she’d been plagued with them to start with.

  “You all look fantastic. Can I get a group picture? It might be interesting to put it side-by-side with the one of you all when you arrived!”

  “Hide the wine bottles!” Bitsy said to her friends.

  The four women all looked around guiltily and placed the bottles and their half-full wine glasses onto the floor at their feet. The only remaining sign of refreshments on the table was a large, sober pitcher of water.

  “Worried your mothers will see?” I asked with a grin.

  “Worse than that—the ladies at our church!” Chastity said loudly.

  After I’d taken a couple of photos of the ladies looking happy, but not too jolly, I asked to speak to Miffy alone. The two of us left the table while the remaining women retrieved their prohibited drinks from the floor. Miffy and I headed toward the coffee and tea station.

  “What is it, dear?” Miffy asked.

  “Was what you told me about Bruno and his blackmail threat actually the whole truth?”

  Miffy let out a long, guilty sigh.

  “I’m busted, aren’t I?”

  Busted? For what? Was she confessing to—