Behind the Tears (Behind the Lives)

by Hansen, Marita A.

  He took a drag on his joint, dropping ash onto the bed. He flicked it, then took another puff, not caring that he was ruining the sheet. He jumped as someone banged on the door.

  “Corey, you in there?” Juliet called out.

  Corey kept quiet. He felt bad about breaking his word to her. But whenever he was with Sledge he couldn’t help what he said, his mate always making him want to brag. Still, he shouldn’t have done it.

  He heard the door open and close. He removed the pillow and looked up as Juliet walked towards him.

  “You alright, Corey?” She focused on his hand. “That’s dangerous. You shouldn’t be smoking in bed.”

  Not wanting to answer her, he took a long drag. He didn’t know why she was being nice to him, because he didn’t deserve it.

  “You had anything to eat?” she asked.

  He blew smoke out the side of his mouth. “No.”

  She sat down on the bed and ran her hand up and down his leg, the chemo having left it hairless. “You’ve gotta eat or you won’t get better.”

  “Sorry ’bout before,” he said, ignoring her food speech.

  “Don’t worry ’bout that. Sledge took it a lot better than I expected.”

  Yeah, Sledge had taken it far too well. Corey leaned over and stubbed out the joint in the ashtray, saving it for later. “Lie down,” he said, patting the mattress.

  Smiling at him, Juliet did as instructed. Unlike the other guys, he thought she was hot. With her hair pulled back she looked a lot like Sledge, but a much smaller version—although she was still bigger than himself, but all his friends were. He lifted a finger and ran it down her nose and over her lips, laughing as she tried to bite it. He liked her wide mouth and distinctive features, and didn’t think they were bull-like at all. They were just strong and memorable—like Sledge. He frowned, wondering whether he was being unfair to her.

  “Why’re you lookin’ so sad, cutie?” Juliet asked.

  “Just thinking.”

  “’Bout what?”

  “You.”

  “I make you sad?”

  He grinned, finding her pouting amusing. “You look adorable when you pout.”

  Her face lit up again, her expression again similar to Sledge’s. He leaned forward and kissed her lips. Her hands instantly went to his boxers, trying to yank them down. Amused by her determination, Corey laughed. He’d never met such an aggressive chick before. From the way his mates talked, he’d always thought females were supposed to be the ones getting their clothes ripped off, not the other way around.

  She stopped. “Whatcha laughing at?”

  “I just like the way you yank my pants.” He lifted his butt so she could pull them off.

  She flung them behind her, then jumped off the bed and started undressing. Once she was naked, she climbed on top of him and grabbed his T-shirt, yanking it up roughly and almost taking his head off in the process.

  He pushed her hands away. “I’ll do it.”

  She shrugged and started kissing his neck.

  “Lemme get my shirt off first,” he said.

  She leaned back on his stomach, causing him to grunt in pain. She pushed up onto her hands. “You alright?”

  He shook his head. “My stomach hurts. Turn around and I’ll take ya from behind.”

  She got off him and lay on her side. He removed his shirt then reached into his bedside cabinet, grabbing a condom. He ripped it open and slid it on, then moved up behind her and slowly inched inside, straining to stop himself from coming. When she didn’t complain, he started up a rhythm, making sure he was gentle after he’d unintentionally hurt her the first time. Damn, she was tight. He grabbed one of her hips, wandering whether she’d also let him take her up the—

  He jumped as a car door slammed. Must be Sledge, he thought. He kissed Juliet’s shoulder and continued to move, determined to make it last longer this time. Last night had been embarrassing. He’d barely managed to get inside before he’d come. But, to be fair, he’d been amped up from watching a porno with Sledge earlier, so when Sledge had gone out, he was desperate for release and Juliet was just so damned convenient. Plus, he’d always been curious what it would be like to do her.

  The front door closed, and the thud of boots neared his room. Definitely Sledge. His mate didn’t know the definition of quiet, always slamming things and thumping around the place regardless if people were trying to catch some shut-eye or not.

  Juliet grabbed his left hand and moved it to her breast. Corey moved it back to her hip. Man, he hoped Sledge had done well, because his mate would make a great prison guard. He was certainly big enough, and since Sledge had started working out with Naf’s neglected gym equipment he’d cut up real nice too. He’d seen the results when Sledge had undressed in front of him, his mate’s six-pack more than impressive. Corey was glad that at least Sledge was putting it to use, because his lazy, fat-arse of a brother hadn’t touched it since opening the box.

  Juliet moaned, and moved his hand back to her breast. Grimacing, Corey pulled it free and placed it on her hip again. He closed his eyes and pushed harder, wondering what Sledge was doing right now. He could hear him in the next room, probably undressing. Corey moaned.

  A few seconds later, footsteps approached his room. “Corey, you in there?” Sledge called out.

  “Yeah, but I’m also in your sister.” Corey yelped as Juliet pinched his leg hard.

  “Bastard!” Sledge kicked Corey’s door, then slammed his own.

  Corey swore under his breath. Wanting to apologise to Sledge, he pulled out of Juliet, but got shoved onto his back.

  Juliet climbed on top of him. “You’re lucky you’re so cute, otherwise I would kick your butt for saying that. Cos of your big mouth, Sledge is gonna be a right pain now.”

  “I know, so get offa me so I can smooth things over with him,” Corey said, knowing he didn’t have a shit show in hell of pushing her off, the girl packing more muscle in her arms than he had in his whole body.

  She leaned over him, making Corey wonder whether she was going to hit him, but instead she kissed his nose.

  “I s’pose it doesn’t matter,” she said. “He’ll hafta learn to deal with it since we’re an item now.”

  Corey’s face dropped. An item? He never asked her out, just for sex.

  She ran a finger over his brow. “Don’t look so worried, cutie. Things will work out.” She leaned down and kissed his lips.

  He remained stiff, but not in the right place. She ran a hand up and down his side as she continued to kiss him. He yelped as she lowered her weight onto his stomach.

  She sat up. “Sorry, I’ll be more careful.”

  A bang came from Sledge’s room. Corey looked at the adjoining wall. Juliet grabbed his face and turned it back to her. “Forget him, Sledge could never share.”

  “What—”

  Her mouth smothered his words. Corey blinked up at Juliet, then closed his eyes, giving into the kiss, although all he could think about was Sledge. He imagined his mate throwing his boots at the wall, mad that he was with Juliet. It worried him, but also gave him a thrill that Sledge thought Juliet wasn’t good enough for him. He didn’t agree, but still, Sledge thought he was good-looking. He smiled into the kiss, then inhaled sharply as Juliet grabbed his balls, her fingers playing with them.

  She nipped his lower lip, then started kissing him again, her soft lips too gentle. He kept his eyes closed, imagining rougher lips replacing them, consuming him while large hands ran all over his body. He groaned and pushed his cock up as it grew hard once more, aching for anything to grasp it and make him come.

  A hand answered, taking a hold and pushing his cock inside a tight, wet opening. He tilted his head back as a rhythm started up, the ride making his dick want to explode instantly. “Slow down or I’ll come too soon,” he gasped, then yelped as his nipple was twisted.

  “Sorry.” Juliet lapped at the abused nipple, taking away the pain and causing him to moan. “God, you look sexy,” she s
aid.

  Corey opened his eyes. She was staring down at him, lust written across her face, something he wasn’t used to seeing. It gave him a thrill that someone actually wanted him. Smiling, he closed his eyes again and grabbed onto the headboard, desperate to return to the place he was before, to imagine someone else looking at him like that.

  Hands ran over his chest then tweaked his nipples softly. He moaned again. “More,” he said. His nipples were twisted, but again too hard, causing him to cry out. Juliet apologised, but he barely registered it, Sledge’s tirade of f words making Corey go wild, his imagination taking him to places he’d gone so many times in his dreams. Above him the speed picked up, the body riding him clumsily. The movement hurt his stomach, but he was beyond caring, the pressure below was building to the point of... He gasped as a hand cupped his balls. Oh God, that did it!

  He thrust up. “Yes, Sledge, yeessss!” he yelled, coming hard.

  “What?” Juliet gasped.

  Breathing heavily, he opened his eyes and looked up at Juliet’s angry expression, wondering what her problem was—he’d lasted ages this time.

  “What do ya want?!” Sledge hollered from the next room.

  Corey’s eyes widened as he saw Juliet’s fist coming for his face, the realisation of what he’d called her hitting him harder than her punch.

  8

  Juliet

  Juliet knew she shouldn’t be punching Corey, but she couldn’t stop. Her rage at what he’d called out made her feel used. She finally thought she’d found someone who liked her back, but to find out he was only fucking her because she looked like Sledge... She was a girl, dammit! Not some gay consolation prize.

  She stopped hitting Corey’s face and thumped down on his stomach. Corey let out a howl. She jumped off him, shocked at what she’d done. He doubled over, clutching his gut, his whimpering making her feel even worse. But she had a right to be angry!

  “You’re a bastard!” she yelled, trying to force all sympathy aside. He’d caused this, not her. Her hands loosened, her worries now fighting with her anger—and winning. She reached out and touched his shoulder, concerned that she’d hurt him badly. He curled up into a tighter ball, covering both his stomach and face. He was only small; she shouldn’t have hit him that hard—or at all, and especially not in the stomach when he was feeling so sick. “I’m sorry,” she sobbed, moving back onto the mattress. She tried to shift his arm out of the way to see what damage she’d caused, but instead he yelled out and rolled onto his front, probably thinking she was going to hit him again.

  The door crashed open. Rough hands grabbed her from behind before she could react, pulling her away from Corey and out of the room. Sledge slammed her into the passage wall. Knowing what was coming, Juliet covered her face, but Sledge yanked her arms down and slapped her hard, then shoved her over. She cried out as her hip connected with the wooden floor, then scrambled backwards, desperate to get away from Sledge. He usually slapped her if she pissed him off, but today she had a feeling she was in for something different, like the time with the sledge-hammer when they were seven. He’d crushed two of her fingers and gained a nickname that day—Sledge replacing Tyson permanently.

  “Sledge, no!” Corey’s brother shot out of his bedroom, and grabbed Sledge’s arm.

  Sledge wrenched it free and turned on him. “She wuz beating up Corey!”

  Naf’s shocked gaze moved to Juliet. He resembled Corey, just an older and fatter version, the towel around his waist doing a miserable job of hiding his beer gut. Sobbing, Juliet pulled her knees to her chest, absolutely humiliated he was seeing her naked.

  Naf’s girlfriend entered the passage and wrapped a blanket around Juliet. “You guys go check on Corey. I’ll take care of Juliet.”

  “The bitch doesn’t deserve to be taken care of,” Sledge spat. He took off into Corey’s room.

  Naf followed, but got shoved out and the door slammed in his face. He thumped it and yelled, “He’s my brother, you bastard!” Something thudded on the other side, causing him to jump backwards. He swore up a storm, then spun around, quickly zeroing in on Juliet. “You can piss off! I don’t want cha living here anymore.”

  His girlfriend placed a hand on his chest. “Calm down, honey,” Aroha said. “There must be a good reason she hit him. Juliet likes Corey; she wouldn’t have done it for nuthin’.”

  “He’s got cancer!” Naf hollered so loud his face turned red. “There’s no excuse.”

  Aroha bobbed down and coaxed Juliet to stand. “Let’s go to your room and you can tell me what happened.”

  “Leave her there,” Naf said.

  Ignoring him, Aroha helped Juliet through the doorway. Naf followed them inside, insisting that Aroha come out. Aroha started scolding him like a mother would a child, causing Naf to go silent. He quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.

  Shaking her head, Aroha sat down on the bed next to Juliet. “He’s worse than a bloody kid sometimes, but don’t worry, I’ll make sure he lets you stay. All I needa do is withhold sex and he rolls over and does whatever I want.”

  Juliet glanced at the Māori woman. Aroha was dressed in one of Naf’s XL shirts, which swamped her body, making her brown legs look painfully thin. Although Naf’s girlfriend was nuttier than the Crazy Cat Lady from The Simpsons, the woman’s hair just as wild, Juliet thought she was nice. Yeah, Aroha was way too old for Naf, but Juliet liked having another female around, especially one who always sided with her.

  “What happened, love?” Aroha asked. “Why’d ja hit Corey for?”

  Juliet wiped her eyes. “He used me.”

  “How?”

  “He called out Sledge’s name while we were having sex.”

  Aroha’s mouth dropped open. After what seemed like ages, she finally spoke, her raspy voice sounding shocked. “I thought he wuz answering Sledge.”

  “No, that’s why I hit him. First Tama rejects me cos I look like Sledge, and now Corey fucks me cos of it. I can’t win.”

  “Jeez, I never thought Corey wuz gay. He doesn’t look or act it.”

  “Well, what else could he be? He follows Sledge round like a puppy dog, and when Sledge isn’t here, all he talks about is, Sledge said this, Sledge said that. But, it didn’t hit me until he called out Sledge’s name when he came.”

  “Does Sledge know Corey has a thing for him?”

  “Doubt it. Sledge is a clueless dumbarse and I can’t see Corey telling him. Sledge is almost as bad as Tama when it comes to being homophobic.”

  “Are you gonna tell Sledge?”

  Juliet screwed up her face. “Are you nuts? He won’t believe me, and I’ll pro’bly get slapped around again. Sledge hates anyone saying bad things about Corey. He even punched Tama for calling Corey a fag when Corey dyed his hair blond a few months back.” She straightened, wondering whether Aroha could get her out of this mess. “Can you tell Naf why I hit Corey?”

  “It should really come from Corey, but I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thanks.” Juliet pulled the blanket further around her and hugged Aroha with one arm, then leaned her head against the woman’s shoulder and started crying again. “I really liked him.”

  Aroha ran a hand over her hair. “I know. Just let it all out.”

  Juliet continued to cry, thinking about all the guys she’d ever liked and how every one of them had done something mean to her. She’d had a huge crush on Nike Daniels in primary, but all he did was call her names and push her over when she’d tried to kiss him, then she’d fallen for Tama... She started crying louder, the memory of what he’d said still humiliating her: ‘You look so much like your bro it would be like fuckin’ Sledge, and I’m no homo.’ And now Corey had proven his point.

  By the time she finally stopped crying, the front of Aroha’s shirt was damp. Embarrassed, Juliet sat up and wiped her eyes.

  Aroha patted her knee. “Feeling better?”

  Juliet shook her head. “It’s not fair. Why couldn’t I look like Ash and D
ante instead of bloody Sledge?”

  “Well, darling, you are his twin.”

  “It’s not that, I mean, me and Sledge don’t look anything like either of our parents. I’ve seen pics of my mum and she wuz gorgeous, but instead I look like this.” She waved a hand in front of her face. “Why do I hafta be so ugly?”

  Aroha frowned. “You’re not ugly, and Sledge isn’t either.”

  “That’s cos it’s alright for a guy to look rough, but not a girl. Once, my grandmother cut my hair short and people thought I wuz Sledge’s li’l brother.” She grabbed her small breasts. “And I’ve got hardly anything up here, which makes me look even more like a boy. What guy would want me?”

  “You’ll find someone.”

  “When? Cos I’m sick of waiting. I’m eighteen and I haven’t even been on a date. And having sex with Corey doesn’t count, cos that’s all we did. I want to be asked out to a movie or a restaurant, for a guy to want to spend time with me and not my brother. God, I never thought I’d be jealous of Sledge, but even he gets more guys wanting him than I do. It’s not fair!”

  “Then maybe you should lower your expectations, like I have. The unattractive guys are really appreciative of any attention.”

  “Naf’s not unattractive, he’s just a little overweight.”

  Aroha shrugged. “He’s not really my type, but he treats me right, much better than the hot guys ever did. Find someone like that.”

  “I can’t even get ugly guys. I knew it wuz too good to be true with Corey, cos he’s so cute, but I really thought I’d finally found someone, like the time with Tama.”

  Aroha sat up straight. “What happened with Tama?”

  “He used to hang around me a lot, but later I found out it wuz only cos he thought he could get money offa me. But I had no idea, and just assumed he liked me, so when he stayed over at our place one night I went into Sledge’s room to ask if he wanted to go to the movies, but I found him lying on the bed rubbing himself, so I thought he might like it if I blew him—”