The Promise of Christmas

by Vanessa Miller

  “It’s Christmas Eve, how on earth did you get someone to draw up these papers so quickly?”

  “My cousin had the papers drawn up the last time you asked for a divorce. It was no trouble for him to change the dates and print the document out.” David told her matter-of-factly.

  “I just don’t understand why you would bother him at Christmas time like this. I mean, do you hate me so much that you couldn’t wait until after the holidays to get these papers?” Tina stood up and started walking away from the table before the tears that were gathering fell down her cheek.

  None of this was going the way she thought it would go. Tina couldn’t figure out why this fake marriage had turned out so horribly for her and David, when his real marriage had been so wonderful. That wife, the real one had even helped David to become a better man, he had said so himself in all those Facebook posts. He was a preacher with two children. His wife had died, so that wasn’t really a fairytale ending either.

  She turned back to face David. She looked into his eyes for the first time since he walked through the door. She saw pain, probably the same pain he experienced when his real wife died. Because wasn’t divorce like a death in the family also? “I’m sorry I hurt you, David. I never imagined that I could love someone enough to marry them, but also destroy that same person.”

  David stood, he looked weary, but even in that he tried to reach out to her. “You didn’t destroy me.”

  She shook her head as the tears drifted down her face. “I did, David. God had so much more for you. I’ve been so selfish.” With that, Tina ran back to their bedroom and locked herself in.

  David knocked on the door. “Open up, Tina. We need to finish this.”

  “No! I don’t want a divorce.” She couldn’t believe she was saying this, especially since she knew that she was no good for this man. But she was just too selfish to let him go… to let him have a good life, far away from her. The knowledge of her selfishness broke Tina down further.

  She climbed back into bed, pulled the covers over her head and cried and cried about the miserable life she had been handed. But as she lay in that uncomfortable bed, with the patched and torn old comforter, Tina glanced in the mirror that was on the dresser across from her bed. And she didn’t like what she saw at all.

  The world owed Tina Jones, but she, in turn, owed nothing to anyone. Tina had always believed that fame and fortune had caused her to feel so entitled. But maybe that was just who she was as a person. Because if she would have stayed behind and married David, she sure wouldn’t have been rich and entitled, but apparently, she still acted that way.

  In all the years that she’d been married to David she hadn’t given him even one child. She knew that David wanted kids because he was always posting cute pictures of the children he had with his other wife. Tina shook her head as if shaking loose the cobwebs. She had to keep reminding herself that she and David weren’t really married.

  But in truth, nothing has ever felt as real as it did when she sat next to him and he handed her those divorce papers. Looking at those papers crushed her heart. Tina hadn’t even been as crushed when Drake cheated on her, and then subsequently married the woman he cheated on her with. But she did try to burn Drakes house down with him in it. Knowing now that she really and truly hadn’t had her heart broken by Drake, who’d been all wrong for her anyway, helped Tina to once again see clearly how selfish she was.

  And why had she left church? The day she left to join the Four T’s, Tina had convinced herself that she was still the same person she had been while singing in the choir. But stardom had gotten to her. She somehow wanted it even more than she wanted Jesus. And that realization caused Tina’s heart to hurt all the more.

  Everything in her life was all about her and what made her happy and what would get her to the place she wanted to be in life. Drake embarrassed her so she tried to kill him. Theresa was her best friend, but Tina didn’t even remember the birthdays of Theresa’s kids and she rarely showed up to birthday parties.

  The Four T’s had made it possible for her to become a superstar, but when the chips were down and the group was in crisis, Tina didn’t try to help them. No, she had already been plotting behind their back to go solo, and she waited until everything fell apart to announce that she already had a solo deal and would be releasing new music.

  But that wasn’t even the worst of what she’d done, because when Tara needed help and Trinity and Theresa came to her, Tina still remembered what she had said and done…

  “We know you’re going solo, Tina and we’re not trippin’ but we do need your help. Tara is on that stuff again, and if we don’t stop her, she could die tonight.”

  “Surely, I must have heard you wrong, Trinity. Because I’m sure you don’t need the help of a firebug?”

  “We get it, Tina. You’re upset because Trinity called you a firebug. But this isn’t about you and it’s not about Trinity either,” Theresa tried reasoning with her.

  Tina folded her arms across her chest and tapped her foot on the floor as if waiting for something.

  “If you want me to apologize, then I’ll do it. I’m very sorry for how I treated you earlier. But right now, we need you, just as you once needed us,” Trinity told her.

  “That’s right, Tina,” Theresa chimed in. “Four T’s has been good for your career. And not just that, but if I hadn’t been with you that night you went all cuckoo, you’d be in prison. So, it’s not just the Four T’s that has helped your career, but I helped you stay out of prison, and now we’re asking that you come with us so we can help Tara.”

  But Tina hadn’t been moved by anything they said to her. She didn’t care that Tara was a junky and was one night away from killing herself. “I’m no longer a part of this group. As a matter of fact, I was told that I wasn’t needed in the first place. So, keep that thought in mind as you back out of my driveway.”

  Trinity looked at her watch. “We don’t have any more time to waist. I’m sorry you feel this way, but we’ve got to go. I wish you much success in your career. I think you’re going to be a superstar. With more Grammys than you can even imagine.” Trinity walked away with Theresa following her as they headed back to the car.

  As Tina watched her ex-group members walk away, something inside of her clicked. It was at that moment that she realized how much being a part of the Four T’s had meant to her. She left her house and drove over to Tara’s house to help them save Tara’s life. But even that act of kindness from her had not been done for Tara. Tina had shown up to help, because Trinity had finally had a kind word to say about her.

  Another knock on her bedroom door brought Tina back. “Yes?” Her voice was shaky because she hadn’t stopped crying yet.

  “Why won’t you come out of there, Tina. I don’t get you. What do you want?”

  “I want to change,” she told him and meant every word. It wasn’t long after that Tina laid her head on her pillow and fell asleep.

  5

  Yawning and stretching as her eyes fluttered open, Tina adjusted her focus and then smiled and then rolled around, wrapping herself in her duvet from Italy as she realized that she was back in her king-sized bed. Everything was right in the world again. Tina was not dealing with an impending divorce… she was once again Tina Jones, superstar R & B singer.

  She jumped out of bed and went into her bathroom. Everything was just as she had left it. She was almost happy about that, until she remembered how lonely she had felt in the bathroom that had been so obviously built for two. Tina slowly walked over to the mirror and looked at her reflection. And once again, she didn’t like what she saw. She was still Tina Jones, and that was the problem.

  Let it be, Theresa. You know how Tina is.

  Tina heard Trinity say those words as if she was standing next to her just as she had been the night before Christmas Eve. Wait a minute. What day is it? Tina found her cell phone and looked at it. It was 7am on Christmas Eve. So, she hadn’t lost that whole day being with
David. So, what was she going to do about it? Was she really, just going to stay home and order in food, or should she go visit Theresa and be with her family?

  After that experience with David, Tina knew that she couldn’t stay home alone. There was no way that she wanted to relive all that pain by thinking about it over and over again. She contacted her assistant and asked that she get her on a flight to Charlotte, North Carolina ASAP.

  But before she packed her bags, Tina had to know something, so she picked her cell back up and called Trinity. Mrs. Sunshine picked up immediately and this time she knew exactly who Tina was.

  “You’re up early. What’s gotten into you?” Trinity asked.

  “I’m thinking about going to Theresa’s for Christmas, but before I do, I needed to ask you a question.”

  “Oh wow, Theresa will be so happy. I’m glad you are taking time to do that.”

  “Why wouldn’t I take the time? Theresa and I are really close.”

  “I know that, Tina. I didn’t mean anything by that. I just know that sometimes you get busy and can’t make it to certain events that we have.”

  It wasn’t what Trinity was saying, but it was the way she said it. Like she knew that Tina couldn’t be counted on. “At my Christmas Special, when Theresa asked me to come home with her and I declined, you told her to let it be because, ‘you know how Tina is’. What did you mean by that?”

  “Are you trying to pick a fight with me on Christmas eve?”

  Tina shook her head. “No Trinity. I don’t want to fight with you. But I had this dream or vision, whatever it was… and it made me realize that I’m not the kind of person who could build someone up and help him to become the kind of man he was meant to be. I’m the kind that would marry a man and make him focus on everything I want out of life and totally lose himself in the process.

  “Soooo, I was wondering if ‘you know how Tina is’ meant that you all don’t think that I care about the things that concern you and that I’m only focused on me and what makes me happy?”

  “And you’ve been thinking about this since we left you last night?” Trinity sounded stunned.

  “It’s complicated and a little hurtful, so I need time to digest all that I’ve been through before I can tell you about it. But I need you to tell me the truth. How am I?”

  Trinity hesitated. “If you’re already feeling wounded, I don’t feel right about making you feel even worse.”

  “Your opinion of me is that bad, huh?”

  “It’s not like that, Tina. I just think you need to re-evaluate some things.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, like how you treat your friends for one. We show up to the things you invite us to, but anytime we invite you to anything you come up with every excuse in the book. I don’t think you do it on purpose… you’re just… just.”

  As Trinity searched for the right word, Tina finished for her. “Selfish.”

  “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but yeah,” Trinity agreed. “You’ve always been a very selfish person.”

  “Not always,” Tina told her. “Growing up, my parents instilled in me the teaching of Jesus. I gave my life to the Lord when I was ten years old and I never imagined living a life without Christ. I never even wanted a man who didn’t first serve the Lord. But somehow I lost my way.”

  “It’s not too late for you, Tina. Remember, the bible says, ‘Raise a child up in the Lord and when they are old’, I’ll say older, ‘they will not depart from it’. So, you can always come back home. God is standing with open arms waiting to receive you.”

  With tears streaming down her face, Tina asked, “Would you pray for me, Trinity?”

  “I’ve been waiting a long time for you to ask me to pray for you, but you need to know that I’ve been on my knees crying out to God on your behalf for five years now.”

  “I think the Lord heard you. Because I went through so much last night, that I woke up realizing that I needed to change.”

  “Won’t He do it?” Trinity said just before she went in praying for Tina as if her life depended on it.

  “Lord, I want to thank You, because I know that You hear us when we pray. I also want to thank You because I now know that You never forgot about Tina. Many nights I grew weary, wondering when You would speak to her, but I should have just trusted You. So, I openly repent right now for ever doubting that You were powerful and great enough to get a word to my dear, dear friend.

  “Tina needs You right now, Lord. Her world has been rocked in ways that only You and she knows. I ask you to be with her, help her to see how much You love her and how beautiful life can be with You if she would just come back home.” Trinity prayed for a few more minutes, speaking blessings over Tina’s life, peace in her heart. She also prayed that God’s grace and mercy would cover her all the days of her life.

  When she was finished, Tina said, “Wow. I didn’t expect all of that. I just thought you were going to praying about my selfishness.”

  “Trust me, Tina. When God truly gets a hold on you… you will become self-less.”

  6

  Tina’s flight didn’t leave for three hours, so she rushed down to the department store and picked out toys for each one of Theresa’s kids. She bought Theresa a journal, because the girl was always writing and running out of journals, so she knew she could use another. She wasn’t sure what to get her husband because she hadn’t spent much time getting to know him. So, she purchased a few ties and had the store gift wrap everything.

  By the time she was finished, it was definitely time to get to the airport. She had called Theresa before she left the house, so Theresa was sending someone to pick her up. All she had to do was get there. And the funny thing was, Tina was now excited about spending time with Theresa and her family.

  Her plane arrived in Charlotte at around 6pm. Tony picked her up from the airport and drove her to the house. Theresa was waiting at the door and gave her a much-needed hug and then handed her an apron.

  Tina looked at it as if it was some foreign object. “What’s this for?”

  Tony brought her bags and the gifts she’d purchased earlier that day into the house. He told her, “I’ll put the gifts under the tree, and then I’ll take your bags up to your room.”

  “Thanks Tony,” Tina said.

  Then Tony Junior chimed in. “Hey dad, don’t you think we should open the gifts Auntie Tina brought tonight. I mean, she is our guest. We don’t want to make her wait to see our reactions, right?”

  Tony gave TJ the eye. “Don’t mess with the gifts under the tree, boy. You know how we do things around here.”

  Theresa pulled Tina towards the kitchen. “Come on join us in our cookie factory. We bake cookies on Christmas Eve. The kids have been driving me crazy because I told them they had to wait until you got here.”

  “You shouldn’t have made them wait for me.”

  Wrapping an arm around Tina as they walked into the kitchen, Theresa said, “Girl please, the kids will be just fine. Mikey isn’t going to be helping this year anyway. He thinks he’s too old to bake cookies, so he’s been waiting on his dad to get back from picking you up so they can watch football. But the rest of my loves have been helping me get everything prepared.”

  Tina could see that. Rolling pins and big bowls were on Theresa’s massive kitchen island. It was an eat-in kitchen with ample space for Theresa’s big family. As Tina looked around the room, she caught the gleaming smiles of the children as they eagerly waited on their next assignment. Tina’s heart began to ache for the children she never had… the ones she had so selfishly set aside for a career that certainly couldn’t love her and smile at her the way these kids were smiling at Theresa.

  Theresa opened one of the bottom cabinets and pulled out several cookie sheets. She pointed at each bowl as she informed Tina, “We have oatmeal, gingerbread, sugar and snicker doodle. The rolling pins are for the gingerbread and sugar cookies, so decide which station you want to be at and get to work.”


  Tina made up her mind to just enjoy her evening with her friend and her wonderful family. She rolled out the dough for the gingerbread men, Theresa rolled out the dough for the sugar cookies. Brielle, Theresa’s oldest daughter, put the oatmeal cookies on the cookie sheet and then put them in the oven, while Theresa’s two youngest children tried their best to put the snicker doodles on a cookie sheet.

  Christmas music was playing and it was all good fun in the kitchen. But it was the thing that happened once the cookies were baked and everyone was ready to eat that changed everything for Tina.

  Theresa placed half of the cookies in several little gift boxes and tied ribbons around them. She then put the rest of the cookies on a platter and took them into the media room where Tony and Mikey had just finished watching the game.

  “Perfect timing, babe,” Tony said as he took the platter from Theresa and sat it on the coffee table.

  “What are you going to do with the cookies that we put in those boxes?” Tina wanted to know.

  “We give those to our neighbors,” Brielle quickly told her.

  As Theresa sat down next to Tony, she told her friend. “We normally bake a little earlier in the day so we can pass those cookies out before dark. Since it’s late now, I figure we can pass them out in the morning on our way to church.”

  Tina hadn’t thought about church. “I don’t think I brought a dress with me.”

  Theresa waved that notion off. “Girl, my church isn’t like that. Put on a pair of jeans and a nice top and let’s just go.”

  “Maybe I’ll borrow one of your dresses,” Tina said.

  Theresa smiled at Tina. “Whatever makes you more comfortable.”

  Tony then chimed in. “This part of our evening is very special to us and you are more than welcome to join us, but I want to warn you that it might seem a little corny.”

  Tina laughed. “I think I like the way you all do corny. So, please show me what Christmas eve is like at the Black house.”