“How’s Alex?” she said. “Even more, where is she?”
“She’s up at the house,” Mitch said. “She’s suffering from morning sickness and is pretty tired from the trip here from Wynborough.” He looked at John. “She’s very eager to see you, John, but didn’t want to appear on your doorstep uninvited.
“She…well, both of us…figure you’ve had a great deal to adjust to all at once. She’ll wait until you’re ready to meet her.”
“She will?” John said, raising his eyebrows.
Mitch nodded. “Yep. Your sister is a wonderful woman. In fact, all four of your sisters are super people. So are your…” His voice trailed off.
“My parents?” John said, frowning. “The King and Queen of Wynborough? My parents are Cissy and Robert Colton, Mitch.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. That’s not fair. I’m still trying to get a handle on all of this.”
Mitch laughed. “Me, too. You’re about the least princely guy I know. My brother the prince. Whoa.”
“Knock it off,” John said, laughing in spite of himself. “What do you know? I’m a lousy rancher, but I might be a top-of-the-line prince.”
“There you go,” Mitch said, smiling. “Hey, Jeremiah, do you have a nose fetish?”
“Yeah, he’s into noses,” John said. “Sit down, Mitch. Want some coffee?”
“John,” Laura said, “I’ll take Jeremiah up to the house so you and Mitch can speak privately.”
“Hey, no, come on in here,” John said. “You and I don’t have any secrets between us.”
“You and Mitch need some time alone. Besides, Jeremiah’s probably ready for a dry diaper. I appreciate your offer to stay, though.”
You and I don’t have any secrets between us.
But what exactly did they have together? Laura thought as she left the living room with Jeremiah. Oh, Laura, don’t. She knew the answer to that question. From the moment that Mitch had knocked on the door, all that she and John shared were memories.
Chapter Nine
“So,” Mitch said, “what’s going on with you and Laura? Betty said that Laura has been living here in the cabin with you and Jeremiah.”
“Betty has a big mouth.”
“That’s not news,” Mitch said. “What is news is that it would appear that you’re smack-dab in the middle of a relationship with Laura Bishop.”
John got to his feet, went to the hearth and added an unneeded log to the blazing fire.
“Laura is teaching me how to tend to Jeremiah,” he said, closing the screen across the fire.
“Yeah, right,” Mitch said. “She could do that by showing up in the morning and heading for the house once Jeremiah is down for the night.”
John turned to face his brother.
“This is none of your business, Mitch,” he said, frowning.
“Yes, it is. Laura is like a member of the Wyndham family. I’m married to a Wyndham. Hell, John, you are a Wyndham. Everything I’ve heard and know about Laura indicates that she doesn’t go in for casual flings. I’d just hate to see her get hurt, that’s all.”
“Laura and I have an understanding,” John said, crossing his arms over his chest. “No one is going to get hurt here, okay? Does that satisfy your need to protect the female populace from men like me?”
“Don’t get hostile,” Mitch said, raising both hands. “It’s just that Laura isn’t the type of woman you usually hook up with.”
“I’m aware of that, Mitch,” John said, narrowing his eyes. “Laura is special, classy, very rare and real, honest and—now you’re grinning like a damn fool. What’s your problem?”
“Not a thing,” Mitch said, still smiling. “Nothing at all.”
Laura reentered the room and settled onto the chair by the hearth.
“Jeremiah went down for a nap,” she said. “This would be a good time for you to go up to the house to meet Alex, John.”
“No,” he said quickly. “I mean, Mitch said she’s resting.”
Mitch got to his feet. “She’s not sleeping, though. She just planned to stretch out on the bed for a while. Come on, John, I’m eager for you to meet my lovely wife, and she wants to say hello to her brother-in-law.”
“Damn it, Mitch, I also happen to be her brother, remember?” John said none too quietly. “What am I supposed to say to her?”
Mitch shrugged. “Start with ‘It’s nice to make your acquaintance.’ Just be yourself.”
“Which one? John Colton, or Prince James Wyndham of Wynborough?”
Mitch went to the end of the sofa and picked up his Stetson and jacket.
“That’s up to you, isn’t it?” he said. “No one is going to push you into being something, or someone, you’re not, John. We never have, never will. Come on. Let’s go.”
John glared at Mitch, the ceiling, Laura, then finally sighed.
“Yeah, all right,” he said. “I might as well get this over with. Ten minutes max. Ten minutes, then I’m outta there. Got that?”
“Yep,” Mitch said, placing his Stetson firmly on his head. “Ten minutes. Not nine minutes, not eleven…ten. Got it.”
“Good,” John said gruffly.
Over two hours later, Laura put Jeremiah in his high chair, gave him a cracker, then began to prepare his lunch. What she would normally do by rote required her full concentration, as her mind was centered on what might be taking place up at the house.
Ten minutes max, John had said. That was how long he’d adamantly stated that he would spend with Alexandra. What on earth could they be discussing for such a long time?
Were they getting along? Was he beginning to embrace his role of Prince James of Wynborough, or was he making it very clear that he wanted no part of his title, or the Wyndham family?
“Oh, Jeremiah, I don’t know what’s happening up at the house,” Laura said, placing pineapple chunks on the high chair tray. “Your father is going to be making decisions that will have a tremendous effect on your future.”
Decisions that would have nothing whatsoever to do with her future, she thought gloomily. Nothing at all.
Laura settled onto a chair in front of Jeremiah and began to feed him mashed potatoes, tiny pieces of cooked vegetables, and slivers of tender meat. Jeremiah opened his mouth on cue as he smashed the pineapple into a gooey mess on his tray.
The front door opened, then slammed closed, and Laura jumped at the sudden noise. John strode into the kitchen, removing his jacket before tossing it and his Stetson onto a chair at the table.
“I’m sorry, Laura,” he said. “The time just got away from me. It wasn’t fair to leave you to tend to Jeremiah for this long.”
“We’re fine, John,” she said, looking up at him. “But I couldn’t help but wonder how you and Alex were getting along, what you were discussing all this time.”
“Do you want me to finish feeding Jeremiah his lunch?” John paused. “What’s that gunk on his tray?”
“Pineapple. I’ll feed him. Did you like Alex?”
John nodded as he sat down at the table. “Yes, I liked her very much. She’s warm, fun, down to earth. She doesn’t put on airs about being a princess, and she’s obviously very much in love with Mitch. I could tell that they’re happy together.”
“Open, Jeremiah,” Laura said, offering another bite of potato. “And? What did you talk about?” She shook her head. “Well, that’s none of my business, I guess. Don’t feel you have to tell me.”
John frowned. “Why wouldn’t I share it with you? We don’t have any secrets between us, Laura.”
Except the fact that she was in love with him, Laura thought. That was something John Colton would never, ever know.
“Alex said how happy the whole family is to know I’m alive,” John said, “then she dropped the subject, didn’t dwell on it. She was more interested in my plans for the future.”
Laura nodded.
“I guess what it boils down to,” John went on, “is that I have two options open to me at the moment. Stay he
re on The Rocking C, or take Jeremiah to Wynborough.”
“Oh.”
“I could go anywhere, I guess. It’s just that I think Jeremiah deserves to be close to family, not feel…well, isolated while he’s growing up. I want him to have a sense of belonging.”
“I see.”
John frowned. “Could you give me a little more input than ‘Oh’ and ‘I see?”’
Laura gave Jeremiah the last bite of food, then turned to look at John.
“I really don’t feel comfortable giving you my opinion, John, because I’m afraid I might influence you in some way. That wouldn’t be right, because the decision about where you choose to live and raise Jeremiah has absolutely nothing to do with me.”
Laura got to her feet and hurried to the sink to keep John from seeing the tears that filled her eyes. She turned on the water and washed Jeremiah’s bowl and spoon. Then she washed them again, and yet again.
John stared at her, a flood of emotions nearly overwhelming him. He was consumed by a flash of fury at Laura’s reluctance to discuss the future, then he was hit by confusion, followed by a chilling pain that tightened like a cold fist in his gut.
Laura was distancing herself from him and from Jeremiah, he thought. She was making it crystal clear that the time the three of them had had together there in the cabin was over.
Mitch had arrived with reality in tow, and Laura was bailing out of the fantasy world within these walls.
It was over. All of it.
He was alone now with his son. It was just the two of them. John and Jeremiah. Or was it James and Jeremiah? Hell, he didn’t know. John. James. Colton. Wyndham.
He had so many decisions to make. He valued Laura’s opinion, respected her intelligence and levelheaded thinking. Couldn’t she help him regarding his choices?
Didn’t she care, even a little, where he ended up making a home for Jeremiah?
No, apparently she didn’t.
And that hurt. It really hurt.
John got to his feet and extended his arms toward Jeremiah.
“Come on, sport,” he said. “I’ll wash your face, change your diaper, comb your hair, and take you to meet your aunt Alex. She’s a cool lady. You’ll like her.”
He lifted Jeremiah out of the high chair.
“Dada,” the baby said, patting his daddy’s nose.
“Please tell Alex that I’ll come up to the house later to talk to her,” Laura said quietly, still fiddling with the spoon and bowl. “She may know what decision has been reached regarding my position with the Wyndhams.
“I seriously doubt that my services will be needed by the princesses any longer. I’ll probably return to Wynborough only long enough to collect my belongings.”
“That was subtle,” John said heatedly. “In other words, you’re letting me know that if I decide to make a home for Jeremiah on Wynborough, you won’t be there.”
“I—”
“No, let’s make it clearer than that, shall we?” John said. “Even if you continue to be employed by the Wyndhams and you stay on the island, you wouldn’t be there for me.”
Laura shut off the water and turned to look at John.
“Be there for you for what purpose, John?” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “To continue our affair? To engage in good, old-fashioned lusty sex on demand, with no commitments, no promises?
“I agreed to that only for the duration of our stay in this cabin, John, but it’s over. It’s time to move forward, each going our separate way.”
John set Jeremiah on the floor, then strode across the room to grip Laura’s upper arms.
“Lusty sex?” he said, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “Has what we’ve shared been that for you? Sex? I thought we were making love, Laura. My mistake, huh? It was just wham, bam, thank-you, ma’am, right? Stud service.”
“Oh, John, don’t,” Laura said, shaking her head. “Please. What we’ve shared here in this cabin has been so special and beautiful. But we both knew from the outset that it was all time stolen out of reality.”
She took a shuddering breath.
“You said yourself,” she went on, “that we don’t have any chance of a future together because we come from different worlds. Being with you this past week has emphasized that truth.”
“I…” John started.
“Please, let me finish,” Laura said, looking directly into his eyes. “I have my rainbow wish tucked away in the part of my heart that holds hopes and dreams. I want it all…a husband, children, a home filled with love and laughter.
“I may never achieve that dream, but I won’t compromise myself by settling for less and somehow making it all right. I won’t have an ongoing affair with a man who moves through life alone, one who has managed to include his son in that life, but who doesn’t want, need, nor have room for anyone else.”
“But, Laura—”
“No,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “Don’t say anything, because there’s nothing more to be said. Yes, we made love here in our fantasy world, and I plan to cherish those memories. You can keep them, or erase them from your mind. That’s up to you.
“But, John, when Mitch knocked on the door of this cabin, then came inside, he brought reality with him. What we had, shared, is over. I’m…I’m moving back up to the house today to learn where my career stands with the Wyndhams.”
“You’re leaving the cabin?” John said, his hold on her tightening. “What about Jeremiah?”
“You’re perfectly capable of caring for him on your own now,” Laura said, blinking away her tears. “You know you are. You don’t need me here any longer. You don’t need me, John.”
Laura pulled free of John’s hands and hurried out of the kitchen. John turned to watch her go, his heart thundering painfully.
“Mama,” Jeremiah whined, extending his arms in the direction that Laura had gone. “Dada. Doggy.”
John crossed the room and lifted Jeremiah from the floor.
“Daddy’s here, Jeremiah,” he said, patting the baby on the back. “It’s just the two of us, sport, you and me. We’ll be fine, you’ll see. Just fine.”
You don’t need me, John.
Laura’s words echoed in his mind and he frowned.
Was that true? Yes, he supposed it was. To really need someone was part of being in love. He would never fall in love because he didn’t know how to open his heart.
Yes, he loved Jeremiah, but that came from a different place, required nothing more of him than to just be. Jeremiah’s trust in him was innocent and unconditional. John couldn’t fall short because his son had no preconceived ideas of what a father should do.
But a woman? Laura?
She’d given him so much. With her he’d felt complete, had savored the sense of rightness, of belonging, in their fantasy world.
But he’d given her nothing in return.
He wasn’t the man to fulfill Laura’s rainbow wish. He could never come to love her the way she deserved to be loved because he wasn’t capable of doing that.
He just didn’t know how.
Chapter Ten
Late that night Laura lay in bed unable to sleep. She was once again in the room she had chosen to use in the main house on The Rocking C.
Same ranch, she thought. Same house. Same bed. But, oh, merciful saints, she was not remotely close to being the same Laura Bishop who had agreed to wait for the return of John Colton to the family home.
She was now a woman who was in love with a man who didn’t love her in return.
Oh, how difficult it had been to collect her belongings and walk out of that little cabin in the woods. She had left behind the man and the baby who had stolen her heart for all time.
She was so alone and lonely, had wept in the privacy of her room until her head throbbed, her eyes were puffy and red, and she had no tears left to shed.
But her heartache was her own fault. She knew it and was furious at herself for her lack of emotional sophistication. She hadn’t been strong e
nough, worldly enough, to engage in an affair, then go blissfully on her way when it was over.
No, not her. She’d fallen in love with the man she’d agreed to have a brief fling with, missed him so much that her heart actually physically hurt.
She was such a ninny. A starry-eyed, romantic child masquerading in a woman’s body. She’d know from the beginning that John Colton was a solitary man, a loner, who wanted nothing to do with the convention of hearth and home, wife and babies.
Granted, he’d shifted emotional gears very quickly to include Jeremiah in his life, to truly love his son. But John had stopped there and would go no further. There was no place in his life for a wife, or a mother for Jeremiah.
“I knew that,” Laura said aloud.
It wasn’t John’s fault that her heart was smashed to smithereens. She had no one but herself to blame for her misery.
Laura sighed.
The hours of the evening had seemed endless, as though she was never going to be able to escape to the sanctuary of her room.
Yes, it had been nice to see Alexandra again and to hear all the glorious details of Elizabeth and Rafe’s beautiful wedding.
Yes, it was reassuring to hear Alex say that Laura’s services with the Wyndhams were still very much needed. Alex’s parents would require more assistance than they presently had as they continued to prepare for King Phillip’s coronation celebration and took on the social functions previously performed by their married daughters.
Yes, it had been wonderful to witness again the genuine love between Alex and Mitch, to see Alex literally glowing as a wife and mother-to-be.
Except…
Watching Alex and Mitch together had emphasized Laura’s chilling loneliness. She had wanted to dash through the woods, enter the cabin, fling herself into John’s arms and tell him she’d stay by his side forever under any circumstances.
“No, no, no,” Laura whispered, pressing her fingertips to her throbbing temples.
She could not—would not—settle for less than her rainbow wish.
And that wish was not going to be fulfilled by John Colton, Prince James Wyndham of Wynborough.
James Wyndham. Dear heaven, what if John decided to raise Jeremiah on the island of Wynborough? How could she bear to be so close to John and Jeremiah, yet be so removed from their lives?
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