“John, don’t,” Laura interrupted. “Please…just don’t.”
“Don’t what?” he said, obviously confused.
“Don’t keep saying ‘we,”’ she said, her voice trembling slightly. “You and I are not a ‘we.’ If you want to have a birthday party for Jeremiah, fine, but…” She shook her head as tears began to pool in her eyes.
Oh, no, John thought, look what he’d done. Laura was about to cry. He’d caused her to be that unhappy? She was upset because he’d used the word ‘we?’ Did this make sense?
He’d been talking about Jeremiah’s birthday party, for Pete’s sake. He was obviously missing something here. He just didn’t get it, didn’t understand.
Boy, he sure had illusions of grandeur. He was learning how to be a father so he’d believed he could learn how to love a woman like Laura, make her happy, make her smile.
But the first time he opened his big mouth, he’d caused Laura to be a breath away from bursting into tears.
John dragged one hand through his hair and frowned.
“I’m sorry, Laura,” he said quietly. “I wouldn’t intentionally upset you, not for the world, but I obviously have. I don’t know why you’re so unhappy all of a sudden, but I’m the cause of it and I apologize.
“I just thought you might like to be part of putting together Jeremiah’s first birthday party, that’s all. But, hey, that’s okay. I’ll ask Betty to bake a cake, and…I’ll handle the details and…You’ll come, though, won’t you? Be there to see Jeremiah open his presents, the whole bit? I would…well, I’d really like you to be there.”
Oh, dear, Laura thought, she loved this man so much. She’d overreacted to the simple little word ‘we,’ and John was scrambling to make amends while not having a clue as to why she was falling apart.
He was so confused, so sweet, so endearing. All he was trying to do was make plans to celebrate his son’s first birthday.
“Oh, John, I’m the one who is sorry,” Laura said. “You didn’t do anything wrong, you truly didn’t. I’d be honored to help you with Jeremiah’s party.”
John smiled. “You would? Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she said, matching his smile.
John closed the distance between them and framed Laura’s face in his hands.
“Laura, tell me why you were about to cry when I brought up the subject of the party. Please? Talk to me. I’m attempting to understand what happened here. This is us, remember? We share. No secrets.”
Laura took a wobbly breath. “Well, the heck with my pride, I guess. I miss you and Jeremiah, John. I miss the fantasy world we had together in this cabin. I knew all along that it would end, but it has been difficult nonetheless.”
“I miss you, too,” he said, gazing directly into her eyes. “Jeremiah has been looking for you, calling for mama. Ah, hell, Laura, what we shared here doesn’t have to be over.”
“Yes, it does.” Laura stepped back, forcing John to drop his hands from her face. “I’ll be leaving in a few weeks to be in Wynborough for the anniversary celebration of King Phillip’s coronation.
“Are you getting this, John? I’m leaving. Even if you decide to acknowledge that you’re Prince James Wyndham and choose to raise Jeremiah in Wynborough, there is no magical cabin for us on that island. Reality check, John. What we had together within these walls is over.”
“Not yet,” he said, his voice rising. He needed time to determine if Laura loved him and if he truly loved her. He needed time to find out if there was a glimmer of hope that he could learn how to love, how to make Laura happy. “It’s not over yet.”
“Yes, it is,” she said, nearly yelling. “I won’t step back into that fantasy world, because it’s too hard to walk away from it. I’ve cried my tears. I’m looking to the future now, just as you are. You’ll be with Jeremiah and I’ll…I’ll be…alone.”
She shook her head.
“There’s no point in discussing this further,” she said. “Come to the house to meet Elizabeth and Rafe when Jeremiah wakes up.”
Laura went to the door, but before she could leave the cabin, John strode forward and flattened one hand on the door, making it impossible for Laura to open it.
She spun around, anger flashing in her green eyes. John smacked his other hand onto the door, trapping her between his arms and moving to within inches of her.
“Did it ever occur to you,” he said, his voice very low and very male, “that what we feel for each other isn’t a fantasy? That it’s the real goods? What if that’s true, Laura? What then?”
Her love for John Colton wasn’t a fantasy, Laura thought frantically. It was real, and rich, and forever. What was John saying? That he might care for her more than he’d thought? Fine. Dandy. But it wasn’t enough She wanted, needed, it all. Her rainbow wish.
“Laura?”
“You said it yourself, John,” she said softly. “We’re traveling on different roads through life.”
“Your road leads to your rainbow.”
“Yes. I won’t settle for less.”
John nodded. “Nor should you. Laura, do you…are you…Laura, do you love me? Are you in love with me?”
Laura narrowed her eyes, placed both hands on John’s chest and shoved with all her strength. He staggered backward, his eyes widened in shock.
“Oh, you are despicable, John Colton,” she said. “Why do you want to know if I’m in love with you? Is it scorecard time? Are you hoping to put another notch on your make ’em love me, then leave ’em belt?”
“Just answer the damn question,” John yelled.
“You want an answer? Well, how’s this? Whatever I felt for you, I’ll get over it. You bet your sweet bippy I will.”
She lifted her chin.
“In fact, I’ve already started to do that,” she said, none too quietly. “Yes, I certainly have. Love not nurtured just disappears—poof, it’s gone. Over and out. Finished. Done.”
She pointed one finger in the air.
“I’ll be like someone who has had a flu shot. I’ll be totally immune to you, John. Yes, that’s how it will be. I’ll help you with Jeremiah’s birthday party, eat dinner at the same table with you up at the house…I’ll even live in Wynborough, with you somewhere on the island if you choose to go there.”
Laura nodded decisively.
“Hey, no problem, because I’m on the way to recovering from losing my heart to you. In short, Mr. Colton, I’m taking my heart back, and nothing you do, or say, will ever be able to touch it again. Any questions?”
John pursed his lips, ran his hand over the back of his neck, then finally said, “Just one.”
“What is it?”
“Do you really think,” he said, grinning, “that I have a sweet bippy?”
“Aaak!” Laura screamed. “You’re insane, John Colton, James Wyndham—whoever you are!”
Laura yanked open the door, then slammed it behind her. Jeremiah’s loud wail sliced through the air.
Dinner at the house was a fun, boisterous affair, with two or three conversations continually taking place at the same time.
Laura waited to see where John placed Jeremiah’s high chair, then slid onto a chair at the opposite end of the table. She forced herself to pay attention and join in the chatter, while struggling to eat the delicious food Betty had prepared.
What she did not do was look at John Colton.
She was so mortified, she thought miserably, she could die. John had pushed, and due to her vulnerable emotional state, she’d blurted out that she’d lost her heart to him. She was so angry with herself, she could spit.
Maybe she should leave The Rocking C now, return to Wynborough ahead of the schedule that Elizabeth had presented to her. But if she did, she’d miss Jeremiah’s birthday party and she really wanted to be there to watch the baby celebrate turning one year old.
Oh, how was she going to survive being in close proximity to John while planning the party now that he knew the depths of her feelings? It wou
ld be so embarrassing, so…
No, now wait a minute. She’d stated…well, yelled actually…that she was already in the process of getting over John, dismissing her feelings for him and moving forward.
What a crock. But John didn’t know that. She’d fake it, bluff her way through the whole thing and glue her demolished pride back together. Yes, that was the ticket.
“Right, Laura?” John said from the far end of the long table.
“What?” she said. “Pardon me?”
“We’re going to put on a great party for Jeremiah’s birthday,” John said. “We’re going to have cake, presents, balloons, the whole enchilada.”
“Oh,” she said, not looking directly at him. “Yes, we are. It’ll be fun.”
Alexandra laughed. “You sound like you’re planning a trip to the dentist, not a birthday party, Laura.”
“I have a headache,” Laura said, tapping her nose with one finger. “Sinus trouble.” She paused. “In fact, if you’ll all excuse me, I believe I’ll take my throbbing little head to bed.” She got to her feet. “Good night.”
“Mama,” Jeremiah said, raising his arms. “Mama.” He started to cry. “Ma-a-a-ma.”
Everyone at the table looked at Laura, then looked at each other.
“Your daddy will hold you, Jeremiah,” Laura said. “He’s tired of being in the high chair, John.” She glanced around the table. “Jeremiah isn’t really calling me Mama, as in my being his mother. Sometimes I’m Doggy or book or…” She looked at John. “Your son wants out of that high chair, John.”
John leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest.
“I’m not the one he wants at the moment, Laura,” he said. “You’d better come get him before he hollers the roof down and spoils this festive meal.”
Laura shot John a dark glare, then stomped around the table and lifted Jeremiah into her arms. The baby stopped crying instantly and laid his head on Laura’s shoulder.
She held him tightly, inhaling his sweet aroma, savoring the feel of his solid little body pressed against her. In the next moment she frowned.
“He’s awfully warm.” She shifted Jeremiah in her arms so she could place one hand on his forehead. “I think he has a temperature. Look how flushed his cheeks are.”
John jumped to his feet, nearly knocking over his chair in the process.
“He’s sick?” he said. “How sick? What’s wrong with him? I’ll call the doctor. What doctor? Mitch, who’s the doctor in Hope?”
“John, for heaven’s sake, calm down,” Laura said. “Jeremiah probably has a little cold, that’s all. Take him to the cabin, give him a tepid bath and the dosage of baby aspirin that’s on the bottle. Keep him warm and make sure he has plenty to drink. He’ll be fine.”
“Oh,” John said. “Yeah, all right.”
He placed his hands on Jeremiah’s waist to take him from Laura, but the baby wrapped his arms around Laura’s neck and began to cry again.
“Jeremiah has spoken,” Mitch said, smiling. “You’ve got a smart kid there, John. He wants a woman’s tender touch when he doesn’t feel good. Mama Laura, I think you’re on duty. Unless, of course, your head hurts too badly to tend to that poor, sick little kid.”
Alex poked Mitch in the ribs as she smothered her laughter with a napkin.
“Of course I’ll take care of him,” Laura said, tightening her hold on Jeremiah.
“Thought you might,” Mitch said under his breath.
“John, get our coats,” Laura said. “Hush now, Jeremiah. Everything is all right, sweetheart.”
As Laura, Jeremiah and John left the room, the quartet at the table exchanged satisfied and knowing smiles.
John finished straightening the bathroom from the bath that Laura had given Jeremiah, then walked into the living room. He stopped, his heart thundering as he drank in the sight before him.
The only luminescence in the room came from the leaping flames of the fire in the hearth.
Laura sat in the chair close to the fireplace, humming softly as she gave Jeremiah a bottle of juice. The baby was snuggled in her arms, wearing a sleeper and wrapped in a fluffy blanket. The glow of the fire poured over the pair like a golden waterfall created just for them.
And at that moment, as John stared at the woman and child, mother and baby, he knew he was deeply and irrevocably in love with Laura Bishop.
He waited for the fear to assault him, the sense of being smothered, the feeling of inadequacy at even presuming that he might be able to make Laura happy, be able to love her as she deserved to be loved, be able to give as much as he took.
Be able to make her rainbow wish come true.
But all he felt was the greatest joy, and the greatest inner peace, and the greatest sense of belonging he had ever known.
Laura glanced over at him. “What’s wrong?”
He crossed the room and hunkered down by the chair where Laura sat holding Jeremiah.
“Nothing,” he said quietly, looking directly into Laura’s eyes. “Nothing is wrong. In fact, things are probably more right than they’ve ever been in my entire life.”
“Oh?”
Tell her, Colton, John told himself. Tell Laura that you love her. Tell her.
Jeremiah squirmed, jerked his head away from the bottle and began to whine.
“How is he?” John said.
“He’s not all that sick, John,” Laura said. “His temperature is just under a hundred. He just feels crummy enough to be fussy.”
“Crabby, huh?”
“Yes. Here, Jeremiah, have some more juice. You just want to be held and pampered, don’t you, sweetheart? Well, that’s fine. We all have days like that.”
John placed his hands on his thighs and pushed himself to his feet.
This wasn’t the time to have a serious discussion with Laura, he decided. She was focused on Jeremiah , which was how it should be while the baby wasn’t up to par. So, he’d wait.
John sank onto the sofa and stared at Laura.
Son-of-a-gun, he thought, his heart kicking up a notch again. He was going to do it. He really was. He was going to ask Laura to marry him, to be his partner for life and also to be Jeremiah’s mother.
“You’re not upset about Jeremiah, are you?” Laura said as she looked at him curiously.
“No, no. If you say he’s not very sick, then that’s that. I trust you, Laura.” John paused. “But then I guess I trusted you from the moment we met in Jake’s Saloon, didn’t I?”
“That seems like a long time ago,” Laura said softly, meeting John’s gaze in the glow of the fire-light.
“Yeah, a great deal has happened since that night,” he said, “but it doesn’t diminish how special it was. The days, nights, here in the cabin…you, me, Jeremiah.”
“Yes, but—”
“Don’t.” John leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees, entwining his fingers. “Don’t say, ‘Yes, but it’s over.’ Just don’t say that. We have to talk, Laura. Not now because Jeremiah needs our full attention, but as soon as he’s better we’re going to sit down and discuss some things. Important things.”
“I…” Laura started, frowning in confusion.
Before she could continue a knock sounded at the cabin door. John got to his feet and crossed the room to open the door. Mitch stepped quickly into the room.
“Close the door,” Mitch said, keeping his voice low. “You don’t want a draft on Jeremiah. How’s he doing?”
“He’ll be fine,” Laura said. “He has a little cold and will require some tender loving care.”
“Well, he’s in the right place to get it,” Mitch said, smiling.
“Yep,” John said.
Mitch shifted his attention to his brother. “Listen, John, your other two sisters, Katherine and Serena, are on the telephone up at the house. They got the idea to place a conference call from Wynborough on the chance they could speak with you. They can’t get away right now to come meet you, but they figured they co
uld at least say hello.”
“I can’t leave Jeremiah,” John said.
“Oh, heavens, John, go talk to Serena and Katherine,” Laura said, smiling. “How clever of them to think of putting together a conference call. It will be fun, John. You will have met all four of your sisters then.”
“Well…”
“I’ll just sit here and hold Jeremiah.” Laura laughed. “With the mood he’s in, I imagine he’ll go off like an air raid siren if I try to put him in his crib before he falls asleep.”
John hesitated, then nodded. A few minutes later he and Mitch left the cabin.
Laura watched them go, then shifted her gaze to Jeremiah, who was beginning to nod off to sleep.
What important things did John want to discuss with her? she wondered. Oh, surely he wasn’t going to suggest that they continue their affair. He wouldn’t take advantage of her vulnerability, the knowledge that she’d lost her heart to him.
No, John wouldn’t do that.
Would he?
Laura sighed.
She was in love with John Colton, but she didn’t for one minute think she understood what made him tick. That kind of knowing came to couples over time, people who were together day in, day out, in a committed relationship.
A rainbow wish togetherness.
And that was something she would never have with John.
John hunched into his jacket and shoved his hands into his pockets as he trudged back to the cabin in the cold night air.
Strange, he thought. He’d been on the telephone with Serena and Katherine, plus their husbands, for over an hour. The conversation had flowed easily, with no uncomfortable silences. Just as with Alexandra and Elizabeth, he felt as though he’d known Serena and Katherine for years.
The four princesses…his sisters…were down-to-earth, open and warm. None of them was pressuring him to embrace his identity as Prince James Wyndham of Wynborough. They simply expressed heart-felt joy that he was alive.
Whenever he thought of the horror his birth parents had experienced all those years ago, he immediately centered on Jeremiah and how he would feel if something happened to his son. The mere image of it in his mind made his blood run cold and a painful knot tighten in his gut. He could understand his birth parents’ need to see him—their son—yet they were still holding back, allowing him time and space to come to grips with his newfound identity. The queen and king were a class act, no doubt about it.
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