Monster Empire

by Michael-Scott Earle

  “That sounds like where I traveled,” I said with a shrug.

  “What else do you have?” he asked as he looked at my pouch again.

  “First things first,” I said. “How much will you give me for the dwarven rings?”

  He glanced at the rings again, and his eyes darted to mine. “Fifty gold each,” he said flatly.

  “Then you’re telling me that you can sell them for three times that much, eh?” I chuckled and tried to hide my excitement.

  “What I choose to do with them after I have purchased them from you is my business, good sir. One-hundred gold for the pair, take it or leave it.”

  “One-fifty,” I said stubbornly.

  “One-ten and not a crown more,” he countered.

  “One-forty,” I rebuked.

  “I stand firm at one-hundred and ten gold crowns, sir!” he said firmly.

  “I guess I'll have to leave and see if anyone else in the city wants to buy them for more.” I shrugged and reached my hands across the counter to take the rings from him.

  “One-hundred and twenty and that is my final offer,” he said as he wiped his forehead again.

  “You’ve got a deal,” I told him as I offered my hand. He shook it weakly and glanced at my pouch.

  “Do you have anything else to sell today?”

  “No, just the rings,” I told him. One-hundred and twenty gold crowns was going to get me everything that I needed, and there was no point in bringing more attention to myself than necessary.

  “Very well, would you like that in King Leo notes, or perhaps a banker’s note?”

  “The deal was made in gold crowns,” I told him. “So that’s how I’ll take it.”

  He straightened. “Sir, it will be much easier for both of us if I give you--”

  “It is also easy for me to find someone who deals in coin,” I said with finality.

  “Very well, one moment please.” He walked into the back of the shop to get the coinage, and I inspected his collection. There were no prices on the more expensive stuff, but the jewelry on the walls ranged from five silver to five gold.

  The man returned with two heavy bags of gold, and I realized why he had suggested notes instead. I took the bags and inspected the contents. The golden glow of the coins inside mesmerized me for a moment, and I slowly let out a breath of excitement.

  Then I cleared my throat, put ten of the coins in my pants pocket, and quickly stashed the rest in my large backpack.

  “Good doing business with you,” I said to the man as I slung the pack over my shoulder and headed for the door.

  “Good doing business with you as well, mister…” he called after me.

  I stopped at the door and tipped my hat. “Dr. Jones, actually. First name’s Indiana, but you can call me Indy.”

  I left the snooty pricks in the wealthy district behind and returned to the middle-class area. I found a livery and inquired about the cost of horses, and after some negotiating, we settled on thirty gold for a horse with a wagon included.

  After careful consideration, I picked a black beauty that watched me as I walked through the stables. I didn’t know much about horses, but I saw something in that sleek dark horse which told me that he would be a good fit for the homestead. He came easily out of the corral and allowed me to guide him out of the barn without a fuss.

  I named him Charlie as I led him out of the barn, and he seemed to like that name just fine.

  The cart I bought was a brand-new, four-wheeled vehicle made of rough cut lumber that looked like it was ready for work. It had an eight foot long bed and a high bench for the driver, along with long boxes fashioned along the sides to hold tools.

  Once the coin had passed hands, I thanked the man and mounted the seat of the wagon. It took me a few flicks of the reins and a few careful words, but I soon had Charlie pulling the wagon toward the tool supply store.

  I bought a couple new shovels, a hoe, and a plow that I saw displayed outside. I grabbed a couple more hammers, a big crate of nails, some long spikes, and a crow bar. For the livestock I bought fencing, tin water troughs, chicken wire for a chicken coop, and a wheelbarrow to haul their shit to the fields and gardens.

  The shop keep, a man named Tyson with a rosy-cheeked smile and more freckles than there were stars, grinned at me as my order grew.

  I added a hand drill to the order, along with a pitchfork, pliers, an anvil, a leather apron, wood chisels, more saws, and two spades. Then I tossed in a rake, scythe, sickle, a vice, and a tool belt. I stood at the counter in front of a very happy Tyson and surveyed the selection, wondering what I had missed.

  “Might I suggest a hay hook, and perhaps a grinding wheel, that one there is on special. Only two silver,” said Tyson.

  “Sure, throw them in too,” I said. “How much for that butter churn?”

  “Five silver. I’ll even throw in a new mortar and pestle. My wife makes ‘em,” he said with a beaming smile.

  I paid for my supplies and moved onto the granary. My animals would be able to graze, but I wanted to make sure that they had enough food should winter come soon, so I picked up five big bags of grain and tossed them on my cart.

  The granary sold seeds as well, so I bought a wide variety for the garden, and a field manual that listed all the local flora and fauna in the region along with the seasons for planting and harvesting.

  The next stop was a clothing shop that boasted the finest fabrics in the land, and I picked up a half a dozen bolts of cloth for Nika along with sewing supplies. In a leather and fur shop, I bought a few blankets and throw rugs for the house as well as a leather jerkin that I thought looked pretty badass on me. I picked up some silverware, plates, bowls, and cups at another shop, and then I headed to a bakery to get Nika a few treats.

  When I passed an inn and smelled the sweet aroma of coffee, I nearly gave myself whiplash. The humans of this world had just about everything found on Earth, but I hadn’t come across coffee and had figured that it didn’t exist here. The discovery made me weak, and I bought a big bag of roasted beans, a grinder, and a tin contraption similar to a French press.

  The wagon held a lot of goods, so I bought a big barrel of beer to add to my supplies. I wasn’t a big drinker, but I liked to enjoy a beer after a hard day’s work as much as the next guy.

  It was outside the pub that I heard my name.

  A couple of guys were standing outside smoking pipes and sipping on amber liquor, and I pretended to be shifting my supplies around as I eavesdropped on them.

  “I heard the Dunns were hot on Crazy Ken’s heels,” one of the men told his friend.

  “Nah,” the older man said and then spit on the ground. “Them two dingbats couldn’t find their asses even if they shit on their own eyeballs.”

  “I don’t know, Pete. Them Dunn brothers got a knack for tracking folks. Some say that’s their power.”

  “Use your head, Mick. If them brothers had a power like that, then they’d be in the king’s employ like the rest of the magi. Nah, they’re all talk, exactly like the rest of them. The monster lover ain’t been seen since Granhelga named his power. He’s probably long gone by now.”

  “Yeah, well, King Leo don’t think so,” Mick countered. “He’s raised the bounty twofold. Ain’t ye heard?”

  “No matter. The stranger’s gone. If he weren’t found in the first few days, there ain’t going to be no finding him. Mark my words,” the oldtimer proclaimed.

  “Hey, mister!” Mick suddenly called to me.

  I glanced around and pointed at myself. “Me?”

  “Yeah, what do you think about Crazy Ken? You think he’ll be found?”

  I scratched my head and pursed my lips. “Hell, I had already about forgotten about the monster loving bastard.”

  “You see?” Pete said as he nudged his drinking buddy. “He’s as good as gone.”

  “You think he’s really got the power to bring monsters up from the underdark?” Nick pressed me.

  “By the Ho
ly Twins, I hope not,” I said and glanced around fearfully.

  “Enough of that talk, Mick!” Pete urged. “Why not leave well enough alone?”

  I acted like I was securing the last of my items and tipped my hat at the men. “Good day to you both.”

  They returned the gesture, and I led Charlie the horse toward the bridge.

  Then I left town and headed to a farm that one of the shop keeps had suggested for my livestock needs.

  “Alright, Charlie, you be cool, okay?” I said as I climbed up onto the bench for my second driving attempt.

  Charlie and I were really starting to get along, and he instantly moved forward when I slapped the reins. Soon, we were cruising down the road at a steady clip, and I felt so good that I might as well have been driving down the California coastal roads with the top down.

  I soon approached the working farm that one of the shop keeps had told me had livestock for sale.

  “Hello there,” I said to a young lad chasing a chicken in front of the big two-story farmhouse. “Is your father around?”

  “Pa!” the kid yelled and ran off toward the barn.

  I followed him and parked Charlie in front of the barn. A big Amish-looking dude came out of the double doors, and I introduced myself as Ben Kenobi.

  “Bartholomew Phillips,” he said as we shook hands. His grip was rough and firm, and he smelled of hard work and blood. “What can I do you for?”

  “I’m looking to buy some cows, chickens, and oxen if you’ve got them. Maybe a few pigs,” I added when I noticed a pen full of the muddy little bacon makers.

  Nika would lose her shit over bacon.

  “Alright,” Bartholomew told me with a wave of the hand. “Come on and I’ll show you my livestock, and we’ll see what you want.”

  I bought two oxen, a mule, six chickens and a cock, two pigs, and two beef cows that the farmer promised were already pregnant. After tying the bigger animals to the back of the cart and putting the chickens in the back, I noticed the boy running around with a puppy that reminded me of a border collie.

  “New litter?” I asked the farmer.

  “Six weeks old.” He nodded as he moved the long piece of wheat around in his mouth. “Herding dogs they are. You interested in buying one?”

  “I’ll take two if you can spare ‘em. A boy and a girl?”

  He nodded and yelled for his son to fetch him the pups. I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought of dogs before. They would not only be great help around the farm, but they would be great lookouts as well.

  I inspected the litter and chose the male and female who seemed the boldest. The female was all white, except for a small black V on the forehead. The male was mostly black, with a similar white V and one white paw.

  I paid the farmer for the livestock and bade him a good day, but as I pulled the wagon out of Phillips farm, the dogs jumped down from the seat next to me. I almost thought they were going to run back home, but they just ran beside the wagon.

  “You there, White Paw,” I said to the male. “You be nice to Snow. Those are your names, got it?” They barked in unison and ran ahead of the wagon.

  The suns were high in the sky as I started back toward home, and I couldn’t have been more content. Soon, I would have a legitimate homestead up there on the hill, and I would find need to leave it less and less.

  It was slow going with the animals trailing along behind the cart, but I wasn’t in a hurry. Everything had gone smoothly, and though the bounty on my head had gone up, it seemed as though most people thought I was long gone.

  I tapped the keg as I rode back to my secret driveway. Then I filled one of the new cups that I had bought, brought the bitter hoppy beer to my lips, and then took a long pull of the exquisite ale. There was no danger of getting a DWI in this wonderful new world, and I thought celebration was in order.

  Besides, the horse was sober.

  The entire trip into Hamstead had taken me five hours, and the suns veering slowly to the west marked second lunch time. With any luck I would arrive to find Nika preparing a meal. Then we would dine by the river as I showed her everything that I had bought.

  When I arrived at the homestead, I tied the horse off to a tree and ran up the hill, eager to show Nika the animals. The puppies chased after me as they yipped and tugged on each other’s ears until we made it inside.

  “Nika! I’m home! I got all sorts of stuff for the far--”

  My sentence was cut short when I saw the beautiful green skinned woman sitting in her chair with her legs propped up. Beads of sweat were coming down her face, but she smiled when she saw me.

  “It’s time, Ken Jewell,” she gasped happily. “You’re about to be a father!”

  Chapter 11

  “Holy shit!” I yelled.

  “Don’t worry,” Nika said, but her happy reassurance turned into a primal growl as a contraction wracked her body.

  “Alright, okay,” I said, hands on my hips as I paced. “We’re going to need clean linens, boiling water, a blanket--” I started toward the bedroom for the linens, then turned toward the kitchen for the kettle. Then I spun in a circle and turned back to Nika.

  “I don’t need water,” Nika said with a kind smile, “but if you would like to get me some, that would be very nice of you.”

  Then she hissed again and white-knuckled the armrests.

  “I’ll get the water first!” I told her as I sprang into action.

  I grabbed the kettle and raced out the door as the puppies followed me down the hill. As I ran, I wracked my brain in an attempt to remember anything from the videos of childbirth that I was forced to watch back in sex-ed, but my mind came up blank. A few of my friends had kids, and my sister had given birth twice, but I hadn’t been in the room, and I had never needed to go to those Lamaze classes.

  All I knew about child birth was that the baby came out of the woman’s vagina, and she screamed that she hated her husband the whole time.

  My nervous excitement got the best of me, and I took the hill a little too fast. I tripped over my own feet, tumbled down the hill ass over teakettle, sprang back up, and then ran to the riverbank. I dunked the kettle, but in my preoccupied state of mind I lost it in the current.

  “Son of a bitch!” I cursed and leaned to grab it, but I was a second too late, and in my panicked state, I fell in after it.

  The puppies both jumped in like it was a pool party, and when I finally got a hold on the kettle, I raced back up the hill sopping wet, grabbed the door handle, flung it open, and yelled to Nika, “I’ve got the water for--”

  She smiled at me happily, and I saw a tightly wrapped bundle cradled in her arms. A little green hand was sticking out of the blanket, and it kind of looked like he was giving me a thumbs up.

  “You already gave birth?” I asked as my jaw hit the floor.

  “Of course, silly,” she said as she waved me over. “I told you that childbirth is very fast and easy for goblins.”

  I put down the kettle, wiped my wet hands on my wet clothes, and licked my lips as I slowly crossed the room. The baby came into view, and my heart grew about three times bigger when I laid my eyes on him. The little green guy was all sorts of cute. He was big too, at least ten pounds, and I had no idea how Nika had gotten him out past her narrow hips. He had his mother’s red hair, but he had my brown eyes. The red tuft of hair resembled a little mohawk, and his eyes were as big as half dollars.

  “He’s beautiful.” I stood beside Nika, kissed her cheek, and let the little guy grab my finger. “And he’s strong too.”

  “Do you want to hold him?” she asked.

  “Okay,” I said, “But let me change, I’m all wet.”

  “You’re so silly, Ken Jewell. Did you go swimming?”

  “Uh, yeah, something like that.”

  I hurriedly changed into dry clothes and then accepted the baby from Nika. He smiled happily up at me, and when I leaned in to nuzzle his head, he grabbed onto one of my ears and tugged hard.

 
“Awww, he’s really strong!” I hissed as I pried his little fingers from my ear.

  “He likes you,” Nika said happily, and her eyes shimmered with pride.

  “What do you want to name him?” I asked.

  “Goblin babies name themselves,” she informed me.

  “Really?” I said with a laugh. “Well, it’s a good thing humans don’t, or else my name would be Batman.”

  “Oh!” Nika said. “I know a bat man. He lives in the underdark.”

  I chuckled and nuzzled the baby, but then he cooed and clamped onto my nose hard enough to make me groan with pain. I peeled him off with some effort, and he started to cry.

  “I think he’s hungry,” I told Nika, and I handed him back to her.

  She lifted her shirt and offered the baby her right breast. He clamped onto it with his big green lips and clutched her breast with his little hands like it was a buoy.

  I stared at the baby. It was hard to believe that I was a father.

  “Can you believe that we’ve got a baby?” Nika asked happily.

  “He’s amazing. You’re amazing. I can’t believe how easily you gave birth,” I told her.

  She grinned mischievously. “I’ll need a week or so to recover, and then we can start trying to have another.”

  “A week or two?” I whistled. “Damn, woman.”

  After Nika nursed the baby, we went down to the riverbank so I could show her what I had bought. She was absolutely in love with the puppies, and they seemed to like her too. Then I introduced her to Charlie and showed her the rest of the livestock.

  “With these animals, we will be self-sufficient. I picked up some seeds too, so we should have vegetables in a few months. In the meantime, we can start to forage for other food. I picked up a field manual at the granary that lists all the local flora and fauna.”

  “Oh, Ken Jewell. You don’t know how happy you’ve made me,” she said as she leaned in and put her head on my shoulder.

  I glanced down at my wife and child and felt a lump form in my throat.

  “I love you, Nika, and I love the baby. You’ve made me the happiest man in the world.”

  The following day, I started building a barn for the animals. There had once been a barn on the west side of the house where the land leveled out and led to the terraced green pastures. The spot didn’t have a foundation, but it was nice and flat, and the need for stones gave me an opportunity to hook up my oxen and use my new wagon.