I Kissed a Dog

by Carol Van Atta

  Lucky me, I experienced both.

  To everyone’s surprise, I woke up with total recollection of the events leading to my coma.

  After all the ooing and ah-h-hing over my miraculous recovery subsided; my parents relented and told me the whole story. I learned from Bob I’d been under water for about fifteen minutes; they’d restarted my heart three times. I should have been brain dead, if not dead-dead. They were advised several times to pull life support, even referring to me as a vegetable. In other words, I was a goner. But here I am breathing, talking, and doing all the stuff alive people do.

  When I finally left the hospital, after suffering through every test imaginable, I was at last able to accept and celebrate I was alive. I recall having difficulty believing that there were no lingering side effects. I’d read Pet Cemetery like five times, and dead things never came back to life right.

  Despite my worries, I couldn’t wait to see what the future had in store for me. As long as it didn’t include more danger — or dogs — I’d be just fine.

  It was after I saw my very own, man’s-best-friend, Buddy Boy, I grasped the entire truth ¯ things would never be fine again.

  Danger and dogs have continued to haunt and harass me since that historic day, and considering my commute to work takes over an hour on Highway101, I have tons of time to reminisce and often end up revisiting my perilous past.

  Once at work, the impressions from the animals are my main concern, making it difficult to sort through my own thoughts. When people question why I don’t move closer to the wildlife park, I’m able to tell the truth — the long drive relaxes me; it helps me process my past and plan for my future.

  Glancing in the rearview mirror, I smoothed a stray ringlet behind my ear. I wished the early nineties spiral perms would come back in style. My long curls were the source of many compliments, mostly from women with super-straight hair.

  It’s funny how women, me included, are never satisfied with their looks. My eyes, emerald green, are my best asset, although a few men might tell you otherwise. Not that they’ve seen more than me in a swimsuit sunning myself. Lean and lithe, but with a fanny I consider too rounded, I move with grace. However, I’m clumsy. That’s right; a graceful woman prone to accidents, yet another “gift” I unwrapped following my coma.

  The cell phone’s buzz tugged me away from my self-appraisal. “I’m on my way, Luke,” I confirmed, trying not to sound snippy. He made it a habit to check in at least once during my drive to Plum Beach.

  “Of course you are. When is my Dr. Doolittle ever late? By the way, you took off yesterday before I could check on you; did you get my messages last night?”

  “Yes, I’m fine, and you’re right about one thing: I’m never late,” I replied dutifully. It was a childish game we played; making small talk when a ton of sexual heat sizzled between us.

  As one of the last known virgins over twenty, I still notice that my employer is an attractive man. Who wouldn’t? Six feet tall, sun-streaked hair, and sea-blue eyes make him the all-American dream boy. Mom is always quick to remind me, during our Sunday evening phone calls, how attractive and established Mr. Snider is. She also points out the fact that he is single.

  “Not true, Chloe, you were not only late, but also missed work with that flu bug.”

  “Six months ago, for two days. Everyone else milked you for a week of sick time,” I reminded him. Ensuring he appreciated my integrity, I rubbed in my superior work habits every available opportunity.

  “See you.” He hung up, ending our everyday debate.

  I was relieved. He’d avoided quizzing me about my latest incident in The Lion’s Den. I doubted anyone else would be as considerate.

  Outside the passenger window, the Pacific Ocean glimmered in the Monday morning sunlight. The water shimmered inviting me into blue depths for a swim. I was a certified sun-lover. Weather like today reminded me of new beginnings. Maybe this would be the day someone or something would bring a little spark of excitement to light up my life. A girl could wish, right? Dealing with angry lions wasn’t the type of excitement I was seeking.

  The siren and flashing lights behind me were the first indication that this might be the day.

  As always, I’d left home in plenty of time to account for any unexpected issues. Waiting for the patrolman, his paunch leading the way, to reach my window wasn’t the spark I’d been hoping for.

  “Good morning, Miss. I’m Officer Tate. Do you realize you have a broken left tail light and you were going seven miles over the posted speed limit?”

  I decided to keep it simple and avoid any sarcasm.

  “I didn’t realize …”

  Woof! Woof! A dog barked from the cruiser, sounding fierce. My guts clenched in response. Dogs always had that annoying affect on me.

  “Pipe down, Barney!” Officer Tate hollered back.

  Woof!

  The dog didn’t seem to be minding his manners. I decided to see what had Barney all riled up.

  Relaxing my mind, I listened. The process worked better if I could look into an animal’s eyes, but I could still glean enough from the barks to get a picture. My brain did its special thing and the images started flowing. Barney was in pain. A tumor, the size of a small apple was growing near his testicles. Ouch!

  “Sir, did you know your dog is sick?” I decided to be direct. He could contact Luke if he needed confirmation.

  “Excuse me? What are you talking about?” He took a step back, looking like he’d seen a ghost, or worse.

  “I don’t have time to explain; I’m going to be late to my job at the Plum Beach Wildlife Park. I work there diagnosing animal problems.” I hoped I sounded half-believable. I wasn’t sure how else to describe what I did without going into a drawn out explanation about my special skills. It was doubtful he’d believe me. If our roles were switched, I wouldn’t.

  “Your dog has a definite tone to his bark,” I improvised. “That tone makes me think he might have some sort of a tumor, near his groin.”

  “I’m familiar with the park, and Luke Snider. I’ll make sure to check it out. Heard you all had a problem yesterday, something about the lions?”

  “Problem solved,” I said, refusing to elaborate. “Thanks for getting Barney looked at. He’ll appreciate it.” I hoped my free diagnosis would earn me the honor of keeping my perfect driving record intact.

  “You go on now. Take care of that taillight and slow down. There are too many campers and trailers out here. And watch out for frisky lions.” He winked.

  “Thanks!” I called, my voice syrupy with false cheer. “You have a good Monday.”

  Eager to forget my brush with the law, I switched on the radio, tuning in the local station. I was just in time for the news.

  “At last night’s press conference, Police Chief, Robert Daily, admitted for the first time, a connection between the two male victims. Both men were found in their respective homes, stabbed.”

  Groaning, I changed stations. I needed cheerful not dreadful.

  “Plum Beach may have its very first serial killer. Police aren’t confirming —”

  So much for my sunny morning disposition — getting pulled over, even though the results were positive, and now murder and mayhem so close to home, gave me warning willies. I should have known after yesterday that my good streak wouldn’t last.

  It never did.

  Chapter 3

  When I pulled into my self-proclaimed parking spot, my outlook had improved dramatically. I was looking forward to my schedule.

  On Mondays I spent time with the park’s Capybaras, the world’s largest rodents. The new capy babies squealed in delight anytime I approached. I know for certain their cries equal delight, because I can see what they’re thinking. My smiling face to them is all about food and a good behind-the-ear-scratching-session. Not to mention, the jumbo-sized rodents wouldn’t try to maul me like Butch.

  I grabbed my bag from the backseat and stretched, taking a moment to soak in some morni
ng rays.

  “You’re looking pretty pleased with yourself,” Rhonda scoffed with a sneer, her backside glued to the hood of her older model Jetta. She sucked down smoke as if tar and nicotine were the elixir for eternal life.

  Geeze I’d expected her to pick up where she’d left off, but not before I left the parking lot. If I wasn’t careful, she’d deflate my good mood like a pin popping a balloon.

  “I thought you were going to quit?” I snapped. According to Hank the Chimpanzee, Rhonda was enemy numero uno. He’d get no argument from me on that revelation.

  She’d planted herself in front of Hank’s enclosure and proceeded to have a nice, long chat with herself — about little ole me. Hank, with the promise of a ripe banana, had shown me the one-sided conversation in its entirety. In addition to her raging jealousy, Rhonda pretty much thinks I’m a crazy bitch with the ability to manipulate Luke into obeying my every whim. Don’t I wish! Luke obeying me would be damn convenient.

  “Any theories on who’s killing those guys?” Rhonda flicked her cigarette away. “I knew them both.”

  So much for not brooding over the stabbings; Rhonda wouldn’t be the only one analyzing the unsolved crimes today.

  To my relief, our conversation was cut short by the purring engine of a vintage Corvette. The Wildlife Park wouldn’t open for an hour. This gleaming red car didn’t belong to any local resident. I would have remembered that muscular arm resting in the open window...

  “Wow! That’s what I call a real man.” Rhonda stared, her gaze hungry.

  “Good morning, ladies.” A deep voice drew my attention away from the pristine paint job.

  After a quick glance at our visitor, and a near heart attack, I bolted toward the entrance, hating myself for my ridiculous reaction.

  Rhonda offered her eager assistance.

  There was no denying he was the same smoldering, hot hero who just yesterday saved my butt from a good lion chewing. I’d seen plenty of good looking men, even dated a few, but for some reason, the stranger in the parking lot had rendered me speechless, and feeling stupid.

  As a rule, I’m quick with my words and have no trouble socializing with the male species. Not that I’ve found one worthy of my undivided time and attention, but I enjoyed flirting.

  What I’d just seen of our guest made my stomach twist and my heart race. I could feel the heat rising up my neck. At least my toffee-colored skin would camouflage the evidence of my blush.

  Talk about a schoolgirl reaction.

  The newcomer had to be at least six five, with piercing brown eyes and strong arched eyebrows. Those chiseled cheekbones made the bottom frame for those eyes.

  Glancing back, I caught another peek at my lion-rescuer. He was also blessed with long, tousled, blue-black waves that spilled over his broad shoulders, as untamed as the lion. I forced my eyes away from the broad shoulders that tapered into a narrow waist and rock hard butt and hurried through the familiar park entrance, abandoning my need to thank him.

  “Here’s my favorite girl.” Luke unlocked the gate, holding it open in his normal, gentlemanly fashion. I stumbled in, almost meeting the pavement with my face.

  Used to my clumsiness, Luke scooped me up at the last moment. “Chloe, Chloe.” He shook his head, reminding me how much I depended on him.

  Knowing he wouldn’t expect a thank you, I demanded, “Who’s the big dude with the rock star hair?” I needed to know. How could I focus with Mr. Muscle around? The more nervous I was, the more dangerously clumsy I became. “Why is he here today?”

  “Big dude with the hair, that would be me,” a smug masculine voice replied from behind.

  If I had been a flower, I’d have wilted on the spot.

  Somehow, I managed to locate my composure and put on my biggest, brightest, and fakest smile — courtesy of my mother’s handy, hide your emotions “training.”

  “And who might you be?” I demanded, raising my gaze to meet his. I tried to keep my focus on his mouth so his eyes wouldn’t distract me. I failed.

  “I’m Dr. Zane Marshall, the new vet.” He held my gaze. His eyes, flicked with gold, were almost as dark as his hair. He raised an eyebrow.

  “Isn’t this great!” Rhonda squealed, oblivious to my discomfort. “Our very own hero.”

  I spun to face my boss who had a sheepish grin on his All-American face.

  “When were you going to tell me I was getting a new partner?” I blurted.

  “Hold on, Chloe; no one knew. Dr. Marshall gave me his answer an hour ago. It’s about time we have a full-time vet.

  You can diagnose the animals’ problems, but then we have to call in people to fix those problems. Our system worked fine during the winter, but summer’s too busy. Besides, he did you quite the favor yesterday.”

  Luke was right on both accounts. Zane had done me a huge favor — keeping me alive. There were very few wildlife vets that worked on call anymore. It was expensive to get one here right away. We’d been using a retired wildlife veterinarian who’d been mauled to death by his own cougar.

  Luke turned his attention back to the new vet. “Now that we’ve figured out why Dr. Marshall …”

  “Mr. Snider, I prefer Zane.”

  “I’ll make you a deal, call me Luke and I’ll call you Zane,” Luke suggested, sounding pleased with his newest employee.

  “Call me confused,” I huffed. “I’ve got a busy day. The Capys need my attention.”

  “Hold on. Today, you can show Mr. … Zane around and get him acquainted with our park procedures.” I could tell by Luke’s crossed arms and narrowed eyes that this was an order not a suggestion.

  With a loud sigh, I communicated my disapproval and marched off to my storage cubby. I could hear other employees arriving, followed by more introductions.

  Why did this Zane have to be drop dead gorgeous wearing Levis that hugged his muscular legs? I’m a leg girl. Powerful legs and a tight bum were a major turn on. His presence gave me heartburn. It looked like I’d have to invest in some strong antacids.

  As a rule, I don’t worry much about my appearance during work hours, but today was different. Dr. Zane Marshall had changed all that when he roared into Plum Beach in his spiffy sports car. My always-trustworthy instincts screamed warnings, while my body shouted something downright pornographic.

  This newfound physical attraction was just plain inconvenient. Staying distant and professional was going to be a top priority. Especially since the other time I’d experienced a reaction even close to this was with Jordon, and that hadn’t ended well for either of us. I still had some serious emotional ghosts, as Melanie called them, haunting my heart.

  “Hey, I didn’t mean to be so gruff.” Luke caught up as I tried to slink from the women’s restroom, where I’d applied lipstick, for the first time I could remember. I moved on to the coffee maker.

  He was pretty much in tune to my routine. Organize cubby. Visit the restroom. Drink too much coffee. Then work. Always in that order.

  Predictability was one theme I appreciated about my job. The information the animals broadcasted had the potential to interrupt my calm façade, but otherwise, work was my safe place. Now, without warning, a new man had upset the one place where routines kept me grounded and semi-sane. Sure, on my extended commute I’d wished for something exciting to happen, but Zane wasn’t what I had in mind, and work wasn’t the place.

  “I’m sorry,” Luke pressed, eager to restore peace.

  “You didn’t even tell me you’d interviewed someone,” I accused. Luke had always been upfront with me. I guess I felt slighted, although I knew that was silly. Consulting with me wasn’t in his job description. But, still —

  “I’m not sure what it is about our new employee that has you so rattled. I figured you’d like the help. This guy is good. You should see his references.”

  “I’m not worried about his references or his skill level. I’m worried about his cocky, know-it-all attitude,” I huffed.

  How else could I ex
plain what I was feeling?

  Gee, Luke, the guy is the hottest thing I’ve seen, ever. He makes me uncomfortable. Yep, that word — uncomfortable — still harassed me like an un-exorcised demon. And I owe him my life, that’s always a plus in any relationship.

  “Everyone else seems to like him.” Luke filled another cup with steaming coffee. He had the nerve to sound offended.

  His unexpected defense of Zane infuriated me more.

  “Good for them! I don’t.” I knew I was acting like a spoiled brat, but I didn’t care.

  Grabbing my mug, I marched away, not bothering to clean up the brown liquid I sloshed onto the floor. I could imagine what Luke was thinking. He was aware I was prone to an occasional emotional tirade, but my rant today far exceeded anything he’d witnessed. He’d have something more to say later, once he figured out how to approach me.

  I could count on it.

  Careful to calm myself before entering the central courtyard, I tried breathing through my nose then out my mouth, while counting from one to ten. Most of the time, the method worked. Realizing ten wouldn’t be enough, I continued to twenty, which proved to be the magic number, allowing me to walk, not stalk, to my usual bench.

  The concrete slab featured a name plaque engraved with one of the wildlife park’s founding families. I avoided sitting on the engraved wording. Not only did it offend my behind, but it also felt kind of sacrilegious.

  From my perch, I sipped my coffee, wishing for more sugar, and listened to the awakening animals. Chirps, growls, and a few roars chorused, signaling the start of a new day at Plum Beach Wildlife Park.

  For a blessed moment, I forgot my new partner.

  My bliss flipped to frustration as Dr. Zane Marshal strode into the courtyard surrounded by several admiring female workers, including Rhonda, and a small troop of men eager to prove their worthiness to this god of men. Ridiculous! It was like high school all over again.

  Attempting to ignore the commotion, I willed myself to listen to the animals, hoping to catch a clear impression. In most cases, I had to be focused on one specific creature, yet the canine patrol dog had confirmed I was getting better at communicating from afar.