Damaged (Bound & Tied Book 1)

by Lucy Rinaldi

  “Because Alex is more than capable of driving my precious car. Now, are you gonna tell me what’s wrong, because right now your attitude stinks, you’re ruining everyone’s night”

  “Just fucking, take me home. Alex, take me home!”

  “What? Why?”

  “Sadie, will you just stop?! My god, all night you’ve been in this mood, angry with everyone. Anybody would think you were pregnant”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, it’s just PMS... I’m sorry. Okay?” Pregnant? Fucking cheeky cow, I’m not stupid! I wouldn’t get myself knocked up... Again. I make damn sure it won’t happen; I take the pill every day. Okay, I don’t take the morning after pill anymore, but the pill still works wonders. She looks at me knowingly, she knows I haven’t taken my pills, and she knows the drink is making me act this way. I shake my head slightly at her. I don’t want her to say anything to Blake and Alex! She smiles slightly.

  “Just please for me, calm down so we can enjoy the rest of my birthday. Please?” I smile at her and try and look as genuine as I can. I don’t want to spoil this for her; this will be the last birthday she has before she’s married. It seems to satisfy her as she smiles and turns back to look out of the windscreen. I feel Blake’s hand on my thigh, but I push him off, I don’t want him touching me!

  ~ ~ ~

  Chapter Thirty.

  The club is jumping, the tunes are banging, I don’t know what song is playing, but it’s one of those dance tracks where the bass is so loud it vibrates through your whole body. Sam shouted something to me, but I couldn’t hear her so I just shrugged and waited for Alex to come back from the bar with my vodka. “Here you go” He hands me an overly large glass of white wine and a small glass of double shot vodka; I smile and down the vodka in one. I can see Blake’s expression toward Alex. Oh, he’s pissed that Alex got me vodka! But I don’t care he’s not my keeper, I’m my own person with my own mind... Most of the time anyway. And besides, I’m not with Elijah anymore, I don’t have to be afraid of everything. Blake won’t hurt me like Elijah did, and if he does I’m not so stupid as to stay with him. I would never go through that again, not for anything, regardless of how frightened I may be by him.

  I grab Sam’s hand and drag her toward the dance floor, after all, that’s what we came here for! “Sadie, what’s up with you and Blake?” She shouts down my ear.

  “Sam, just dance. Let’s give them a show” I wink at her and she smiles, she knows exactly what I mean. We know just how to make men hot. We dance close, sexy and raunchy, touching each other provocatively as we move, just like we used to. God, it’s been a long time since Sam and I did anything like this. I miss touching her intimately. I miss the way she would give her perfect body to me, mine to do as I pleased with! I watch Blake watching me as I sway my hips and move my body against my best friend. It’s like he’s the only man in the room, my anger from earlier seems to have subsided. I watch him drinking me in, his eyes full of lust for me. I’m so turned on and I can tell he wants me just as much as I want him right now.

  “Sadie, I need to sit down” I kiss her cheek and hug her, she never could keep up with me. I suddenly feel drunk and slutty and in an I-love-everyone mood.

  “I love you, gorgeous best friend”

  “Your drunk” She laughs. “I love you, too”

  “Tell Blake to come dance with me”

  “I thought you hated him?”

  “I did, now I don’t,” I’m all giddy like a little kid. “Make him come dance with me” I watch her walk off the dance floor and into Alex’s waiting arms. I feel a bit dizzy, but I’m still dancing like a complete slut, and I know I’m drunk, again! But I see him walking over to me. God, he’s so hot! I smile and run my tongue over my bottom lip seductively, he smiles at me, his breathtaking smile and it makes me twinge.

  “Hello beautiful” He grabs my hips and pulls me into him, my hands lock around his neck.

  “Hello, Dr.” He smiles and places one hand on my back, dipping me down. I grab his upper arms steadying myself. We dance so seductively both of us moving in time with the music, grinding against each other, so close I can feel his rock hard cock pressing into me. God, I love that I’ve turned him on. But then I only have to look at Blake and he’s hard. That kind of power over a man can give a girl a big head! Turning him on like this gives me a daring idea, I don’t know if I can pull it off, but I’m sure as hell going to try. I kiss him as we dance and it’s so passionate, both of us so turned on and maybe the fact I’ve had too much to drink makes me want him all the more. He pulls me even tighter into him, his erections digging into me so badly; he’s always so hard for me. I pull him deeper into our kiss, one hand in his hair the other unzipping his pants. His eyes widen as I push my hand inside past his boxer briefs, taking him in my hand.

  He breaks our kiss and looks at me with shocked eyes. “What are you doing?” His eyes scan the crowded dance floor, no one’s watching, everyone’s busy dancing and doing their own thing. But the thought someone might see us thrills me.

  “Ssshh” I whisper against his mouth. Then gently I stroke his cock up and down, faster and faster. He rocks his hips, forcing himself harder into my grasp; he grabs my face between his hands and kisses me so hard it hurts.

  “Fuck, Mercy” He mumbles against my mouth. I can feel him throbbing in my hand.

  “Mmm, Dr., you need to come, don’t you?” I watch as he tips his head back slightly, while his eyes roll to the back of his head, with his hands still on my face. But this is too easy. I let go of him, stopping his orgasm just at the peak. I smile and shake my head as he looks at me, the desperation etched on his face. I kiss him and smile again looking into his eyes. “3-1, Dr.”

  “Why did you stop?”

  “Because, I want you inside me, right now” I take my hand out of his pants, and wait for him to zip himself up, before grabbing his hand and dragging him from the dance floor and outside.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Just come with me, Dr.” I can’t help giggling to myself. I drag him down the alleyway next to the club and slam him against the wall. I kiss him hard as I unzip his pants again frantically, while he lifts my dress above my waist, turning me so I’m against the wall. His lips hit my neck. I want him so bad; I’m so wet and throbbing spectacularly. “Mmm, Blake, fuck me” I feel his hands on my panties, he smiles at me and literally rips them from my body, and my god does that turn me on! We’re tearing at each other, so hot and heavy. He grabs my right leg holding it above his waist, my back arches slightly in response to his touch.

  “My Mercy” He whispers in my ear as he slams his cock so hard into me that I can’t help but scream.

  “Fuck! Don’t stop. Ah! You feel so good inside me” He does feel good deep inside me, it’s the best feeling in the world! I tip my hips into him meeting his every thrust. He bites on my neck, and its punishing, how high I am right now. “Blake, Ah! Fuck. Please”

  “Fuck, baby, do you need to come?” Fucking bastard! Playing me at my own game.

  “Yes. AH...!”

  “Open your eyes; I wanna see you come for me” I look into his eyes and it’s like magic, the electricity between us could light a whole street!

  “Please, Ah! Fuck. Please, Blake” He thrusts harder into me, the air escaping through his teeth, and it burns deep within me.

  “Come for me, baby girl” His words tip me over the edge and I’m gone. I scream so loud in ecstasy that it hurts my throat. I hold onto his neck so tightly as he comes deep inside me, our body’s jerking in time with each other “You. Are. A. Bad. Girl” He says between heavy breaths as he pulls out of me.

  “Does that count as my point or yours?” I laugh while pulling my dress down.

  “Mine” He whispers against my mouth before kissing me.

  “Well, as I’m now pantieless because of you, I’ll let you have that one”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yes, really” I smile.

  “It looks like I’m a
point behind. Maybe I’ll catch up later” He winks at me. Later? Bring it on! “Come on, baby, let’s get back inside. I need a drink,” He takes me by the hand and leads me back inside and over to our table. I’m feeling pretty damn pleased with myself right now. If being angry at your man gets you that kind of fuck, I think I’ll be angry with him more often! I take my seat next to Sam and opposite Blake; I can’t help smiling at him. He amazes me. Elijah would have beaten me for behaving so badly, but Blake, my god he fucked me so good! Just goes to show how different they are!

  “You know I can’t keep up with you two”

  “Fuck off, Alex!”

  “Nice, bro, real nice!” He laughs “Come on you catch up”

  “I’m not drinking, bro. I’m driving” Sam seems to be giving me some real evil looks. Whoa! What did I do?

  “Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well Sadie’s not driving. You’ll do the vodka game with me, right?”

  “Sure. Set um up” Alex sets up four shot glasses in front of me and four in front of himself, and fills them with vodka. He counts to three and I’ve downed mine before he’s even finished his second “Fill um back up, Alex. Slowcoach”

  “Don’t you think you two have had enough?”

  “No, Sam, it’s just a drink. Chill out”

  “Don’t laugh at me, Sadie!”

  “She’s right. Enough!” For fuck sakes! Sam and Blake both shoot me dirty looks. Jesus, it’s just a drink, I thought we were supposed to be having fun!

  “Alex, I swear if you have one more drink, I’m leaving you!”

  “What the fuck, Sam? OTT much? Jesus, you drama queen”

  “Sadie, don’t fuck with me right now! I don’t find any of you funny. You’ve had too much to drink, when you know that you shouldn’t” My eyes widen but she ignores me. “My man has had far too much to drink, and as for you and Blake, you’re just fucking disgusting!”

  “What?”

  “I saw what you did on the dance floor right before you ran off to wherever, by the look of you to fuck! You say you’re not a whore, Mercedes, but you certainly go a long way to prove you are one” Wow, that’s harsh. Jealous bitch!

  “Don’t speak to her that way. I’m her boyfriend, it’s not like she just met me!”

  “And you can shut the fuck up! Ever since she met you her morals went out the fucking window” What the hell, Alex could calm her, but he won’t, she’s got him under the thumb, fucking idiot!

  “Sam, don’t you dare speak to him like that! What’s wrong, huh? Are you jealous because it was him and not you?” She looks at me like I just killed her dog or something. I note the look in both Blake and Alex’s eyes, but fuck them, I really don’t care if they know or not!

  “What the fuck is wrong with you, Mercedes!?! Is it still programmed into your head to be daddy’s little whore?!” What the fucking hell did I do to deserve that?! She fucking promised never to throw that in my face! How could she?!

  “Samantha!” Blake doesn’t sound very happy with her right now, and the look on his face tells me he’d like to strangle her to death. He’d have to join the queue!

  “What?!”

  “Baby, there’s no need for that whatsoever,” She looks from Blake to Alex but doesn’t look at me again. I feel like she just kicked me in the guts knocking the wind out of me. I’m absolutely gobsmacked. I feel like crying that has really hurt me. All the years we’ve known each other never has she ever mentioned my past to anyone, or in front of anyone. I trusted her with everything, yet here she is betraying my trust, yet again. My minds doing over time! I don’t know what to think or say!

  “I um... I’m just gonna go to the restroom” I get up and leave as fast as I can. I don’t even look back or go to the restroom. I can hear Blake calling me, and I know he’s following me, but I’m out of there within seconds and in a cab. I see Blake running out of the club as the cab drives away. I know I shouldn’t have left alone, especially after all the booze I’ve drank, but I feel awful, and so full of self-loathing again, the ugliness of it all coming to the surface, the doubts, the anger. All I want to do is go home.

  “Where to, ma'am?”

  “Julipa towers, please” I can feel my cell vibrating against my chest; I grab it from my bra. Always a good place to keep it. Blake’s name flashes on the screen and I answer it not really thinking what I’m going to say. “What?!” I snap a little too harshly.

  “Why did you leave like that?”

  “I’m going Blake; I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m no good for you. I’m just a whore and I’m tired of it. No one, not even my best friend can see me as anything more... I’m sorry”

  “Mercy, don’t do anything stupid. She didn’t mean it. Baby, she’s sorry, she didn’t mean to upset you”

  “Well, she did! Tell the bitch whore, I’ll be moved out by the time she gets home tonight!”

  “Don’t you dare go anywhere. I mean it! I’ll be there in ten minutes. Stay put, Mercedes!”

  “I’m sorry, Blake. I love you. Goodbye”

  “Mercedes...” I didn’t wait for his reply, I ended the call and switched my cell off. I won’t be ordered around by him; I won’t have him tell me if I can or can’t leave! As soon as the cab pulled up outside I threw money at the driver and jumped out. Shit, I don’t have my keys. Fuck it, I’ll buzz a neighbor to let me in. I know Sam keeps a spare front door key under the plant pot outside our door, a really stupid thing to do, but it’s her apartment I guess.

  I storm into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I grab sweats and a T-shirt from my draw; I want this dress off me I feel like an idiot! My mind starts wandering off into its own world. I walk into my bathroom and scrub the makeup off my face, before showering quickly and changing my clothes. I didn’t wash my hair I tied it into a high ponytail. I suddenly don’t feel very well, my head hurts and I hear voices... The voices in my head. God, no not this, not now! I hear the front door open and I don’t know why, but I run into my closet and close the door quietly. I have to hide I don’t want to see them right now, the voice in my heads screaming “They’ll hurt you. Hide!” I crouch down and pull myself against the wall behind my jackets. I lean my back against the wall and pulls my knees against my chest, wrapping my arms around them for protection. I don’t feel well at all! I can feel myself rocking back and forth while humming to myself. It shouldn’t be happening now! But then I knew I should have gone to my doctor for new antipsychotics! I can feel myself going into a psychotic trance and I can’t stop myself. Something else I inherited from my mother at an early age. I hear voices next to me, but I just rock back and forth, humming. I have to block them out to protect myself from them. “You need to call a Doctor”

  “I am a fucking Doctor, Sam”

  “No, a head Doctor. Her Doctor”

  “She sees a shrink? Why did no one fucking tell me this shit?!”

  “Because, she was scared you’d leave her. She never told anyone but me and Clyde. She was going to tell you soon, I swear. Blake, please do something” I hear crying, voices calling me, but they keep fading in and out.

  “Bro, you have to call someone, you can’t fix this”

  “Yes, I can. She’s my responsibility. Right!?! I’ll take care of her. Take Sam to bed, she needs to rest”

  “I’m not leaving her”

  “Mercy, can you hear me? Baby, please don’t do this. Mercy, please don’t leave me like this. Come back to me. I love you, baby,” I hear him I do, I hear every scattered word, but I’m stuck in this trance, I want to break out but I can’t, and my heads screaming out to him. But my body and mind defy my subconscious. I stand up, I know what I’m about to do and I don’t want to, not in front of them, but I can’t stop myself. I’m screaming inside, “Please stop!” But no amount of screaming will bring me back from where I am right now. I lean up to the top shelf and grab my cutting box, holding it against my chest tightly in my arms, and then I sit back on the ground, with my legs crossed like a child at school. “What do
I do to bring her out of this, Sam?”

  “I don’t know, Blake. I could never snap her out of it. The only person that could was her brother Angelo. When she was with me only Clyde could bring her around. I’m sorry, Blake”

  “Then call fucking Clyde, Sam!”

  “I don’t think it would do much good, Blake. It would take Clyde hours to talk her round. He would talk calmly to her, and then he’d sing to her. He only knew how to do that because her brother told him so. This is all my fault, I should have made sure she took her medication”

  “Medication?”

  “Yes, her antipsychotics. She has schizophrenia, Blake”

  “What the fuck?! And you never thought to tell me this!?”

  “Don’t yell at her, Blake, this isn’t her fault!”

  “Shut the fuck up, Alex!”

  “Ti amo. ti prego di perdonarmi per quello che sto per fare.” The words fall from my mouth like silk. I never speak Italian, only when I’m like this does my native tongue fall from me. Or when I’m super angry!

  “Sam, what the fuck is she saying?”

  “I don’t know, Blake, I only understand a few words. She never taught me how to speak Italian because she would never speak the language. I’ve only ever heard her speak Italian when she’s like this. She’s spoken to me sometimes with an Italian accent, but that’s when she’s mega angry”

  “Alex, I know you do, you took enough classes. Tell me what she’s saying”

  “She said, “I love you, please forgive me for what I’m about to do” I didn’t know Alex could speak Italian! “Mercedes, dimmi cosa c'è che non va. Lascia che ti aiuti” I feel him next to me, Alex, speaking to me like no one but my brothers ever has when I’ve been in this state. It’s kind of calming but strange.