by Debra Webb
“How do we find out if I’m the right match?”
We? Hope soared in her chest. He wasn’t leaving her out completely. “There’s a simple test that will tell us.”
He stood, then shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers. “I should be able to see her by now.” He turned to go.
Beth rose, tempted to run after him. “What about the test?”
He paused and turned back to her, then hesitated again. “Yeah.” He nodded slowly. “Set it up.”
The tears would not be restrained as she watched him walk away. His entire personal life was falling apart and still he’d decided to help this young woman. A woman he really didn’t even know despite the fact that she was his sister.
Beth smiled. She hadn’t expected anything less. This was just the kind of man Zach Ashton was. It was the Ashton in him. A sob escaped her. And he was definitely an Ashton.
HE’D GONE BY the lab and parted with the necessary sample. Beth had stopped by Colleen’s room later to let him know the results. He was a match. She’d left immediately afterward, not asking questions or lingering to try and draw out conversation. As much as he cared for her, Zach had been glad. He needed to think.
Now, exhausted by his troubling thoughts, he sat at Colleen’s bedside. She looked so pale and fragile still. He struggled with the tears stinging his eyes. He didn’t want her to wake up and find him blubbering like a baby—even if he did feel like doing just that. The doctor had assured him that she was going to be fine. She was strong and in excellent health otherwise.
How could his whole life be built on one big deception?
He closed his eyes and sighed wearily. Did it really matter how his life started out? He opened his eyes and looked at the woman who’d cared for him and loved him every day of his life. No. Only one thing mattered.
He stood and leaned down to kiss her cheek. When he drew back her eyes drifted open. He smiled. “Welcome back.” He gritted his teeth and with the heel of his hand rubbed fiercely at the one tear that managed to escape his brutal hold.
Her gray eyes grew misty. “You know?” she said simply.
He nodded. “Yes.”
She reached for his hand, hers too cold and far too weak for his liking. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to hurt you.”
He shook his head, fighting a new wave of liquid emotion. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m a big boy I can take anything life throws my way.” A tear slipped down her face. He gently wiped it away. “I don’t want you to cry.”
“I didn’t set out to deceive you. I loved you so much I couldn’t bear the thought of you thinking any less of me or seeing me as anything other than your real mother. I was wrong.” She took a deep, halting breath. “I should have told you so that you could make up your own mind. I was selfish. I didn’t consider that they might need you, too.”
Zach kissed her hand, then her forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll do the right thing.” He smiled that cocky gesture he’d learned from his father. “I’m an Ashton. We always do the right thing. But there’s something you have to understand and it comes from right here.” He pressed her hand over his heart, then covered it with his own. “You are my mother. No one else will ever hold that place in my heart.”
ON THE ELEVATOR ride down to the lobby, Zach made a decision. He knew what he had to do to set his life to rights and he intended to do it today. Now if he could just find Beth. Helen had arrived to sit with his mother and she’d told him that Beth was helping out in the E.R. for a couple of hours. Apparently the duty physician had fallen ill and since Beth was in the hospital already she’d offered to hang around a few hours and finish his shift.
Zach smiled. That was just like Beth. Always putting everyone else ahead of herself. He glanced at his watch—6:30 a.m. If the guy’s shift ended at seven, then Beth would be free in a few minutes.
The elevator doors glided open and he stepped out into the spacious atrium style lobby. The corridor on the other side of the room would lead to the E.R. the nurse who’d come to take his mother’s vitals had told him.
“Mr. Ashton.”
Zach stopped halfway to his destination and turned back to see who’d called his name.
Jenny Ellroy stood a few feet away. Zach tensed. He wasn’t sure he was ready for this meeting yet. Her thin, weary features struck him anew. Something stirred inside him, in a place too far away to touch or understand. “Mrs. Ellroy,” he returned.
“I wanted to see how…your…mother was doing.”
Zach knew what she was thinking. He could see it in her eyes. She was trying to decide if he knew the truth yet or not. “My mother is doing well. The doctor says she’s going to be fine.”
Mrs. Ellroy sighed with obvious relief. “I’m glad.” She studied Zach’s face. “And you? How are you holding up?”
“I’m hanging in there,” he told her frankly.
She nodded. “Well, I’ll be going then. I just wanted to see that Mrs. Ashton was all right.”
He wondered if she had reason to feel as guilty as she looked. Had something gone down between her and his mother recently? He’d have to ask Beth.
He almost let Mrs. Ellroy walk away. But he couldn’t. As much as he resented her somehow…in a way that didn’t even make sense to him right now, he couldn’t allow her and her daughter to believe that there was still no hope.
“I took the test.”
She turned back to him, her eyes growing wide with hope. “The test?” she asked, feigning innocence still to no doubt spare his feelings in the event he didn’t know.
“I’m a perfect match. I told Beth to have your daughter’s doctor set up the transplant.”
She didn’t respond for a time. He could see the difficulty she was having maintaining her composure. She trembled visibly and tears had gathered in her eyes.
“Thank you,” she finally managed.
He acknowledged her gratitude with a nod.
She started to turn away again and Zach stopped her once more. “You did the right thing, you know.”
Tears glistened on her cheeks as a kind of unspoken understanding passed between them.
“Now,” Zach continued, a new rush of emotion crowding his chest, “I have the opportunity to repay you for what you did for me.”
“I won’t ever forget it,” she said softly then turned away once more.
This time he let her go. He watched until she’d exited the building. There were other things that needed to be said, but not right now.
Right now, he had to do the right thing by Beth.
The things he had to say to her had been a long time in coming. He could only hope that she would consider it worth the wait.
Chapter Fourteen
“Beth, can you see one last patient before you go?”
Beth dredged up a smile. “Sure.”
“He’s in five.”
Dead on her feet, Beth trudged toward exam room five. Phillips owed her big time for this. But he would have done the same for her, she supposed, had she been on duty and been hit by an unexpected bug. Patients didn’t respond well to sweating and vomiting doctors.
Besides, she had to admit that it had been quiet other than the car accident victim and even his injuries had been relatively minor. Beth definitely couldn’t complain. As E.R. duty went, this had been a piece of cake. And it kept her mind off Zach. She’d already called the nurse’s station and checked on Mrs. Ashton. She was stable and resting. They’d probably send her home in a couple of days if all continued as expected.
Beth frowned when she found no chart in the box on the door of exam room five. Maybe the nurse had simply forgotten and left it in the room with the patient. She opened the door and entered the room.
“Good morning, I’m Dr. Daniels.”
“I think it’s time you stopped using your ex’s name.”
Zach.
What was he doing here?
Worry etched across her forehead. “Are you all right?” she
demanded. Maybe the stress had gotten to him and he’d started having chest pains of his own. Fear streaked through her.
He shook his handsome head. “Nope. I’m not sure I’ll ever be all right again.”
Beth moved closer to him, studying his face, his posture, for signs of discomfort. “Are you in pain?”
Leaning against the exam table with his arms folded over his chest, he looked relaxed enough. “Not really.”
“Then what’s wrong?” She ordered her heart to slow its pounding. It felt ready to catapult out of her chest.
“I just wanted to see you. The nurse said this would be the best way.”
Beth passed a hand over her face and sighed her relief. “Jesus, Zach, you scared the hell out of me.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Sorry.” When she was settled intimately against him he demanded, “Now, do you agree about the name thing?”
Oh, yes. Her ex’s name. “I’m working on that.”
He nodded. “Good. It’s past time.”
Why did he care what name she used? She tried not to get her hopes up here. Though he appeared his usual caring self, there was still other life-altering news with which he would have to contend.
“I assume this means you’re not angry with me anymore?” She searched those amazing blue eyes and that equally amazing face. She held her breath as she waited for his answer.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking. And I know this isn’t your fault. I was wrong to take any part of it out on you.”
That was too easy. Worry crept back into her heart. “So you’re okay with all this?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know if I’m okay with it, but I understand that there’s nothing I can do about it.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I guess I’m in a kind of shock. But still, I do know who I am. As crazy as it sounds, this doesn’t change that…not in my opinion anyway.”
Beth relaxed and snaked her arms around his lean waist. “I’m glad you’re dealing with it this way.”
“I’m sure there will be times when I won’t see things so clearly, but I was hoping you’d be around to help me through those times.”
She swallowed tightly. Would he want her around when she told him her news? “I’ll be around.”
He smoothed a handful of hair over her shoulder, then allowed that hand to glide down her spine, sending goose bumps over her skin. “There’s something I need to tell you, Beth, and I’m not sure how to begin.”
Her heart bumped back into a rapid staccato. “The beginning is usually the best place,” she offered. Please don’t let this be about letting her down easy, she prayed.
He angled his head and studied her face and eyes for a time before he spoke. Just when she thought she wouldn’t be able to bear his gaze on her a moment longer, he spoke.
“I think I’ve always loved you, but I fell in love with you the day you modeled the dress your mother had made you for your first prom.”
Beth didn’t know what to say. Emotion welled inside her to the point of making any kind of breath an impossibility.
“I’d come home for the weekend from school,” he continued. “You were all excited about being invited to the prom by a junior.” He laughed. “God, I was so damned jealous I couldn’t see straight. And when I saw you in that dress I knew. I was too old for you, of course, and I felt like a slimeball for having those feelings. But no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t make them go away.”
Beth swiped away a tear that slipped past her hold. “I didn’t know.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “I know. I thought waiting was the right thing to do.” He sighed. “So I waited for you to grow up.”
“But when I kissed you I was seventeen and you—”
“Made a mistake,” he interjected. “I should have told you then how I felt and why we had to wait. But I thought we had all the time in the world. And I didn’t want to do the wrong thing.” He frowned. “You were so young.”
Beth stared at him in disbelief. “Oh, my God. Are you telling me that—”
“You broke my heart when you married that jerk Daniels,” he said pointedly.
Her hand went to her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she offered. “I was only trying to forget about you.”
His frown deepened. “Forget about me?”
She nodded. “I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve years old, Zach. Surely you noticed.”
“Well.” He shrugged. “I knew you liked me, but I was afraid you’d outgrown it.”
“And what about now?” She pinned him with a firm look.
“I know you care about me, but you didn’t really anticipate anything coming of it. Am I right?”
“Zach Ashton, you are so blind,” she accused. “I got my belly button pierced for you!”
He grinned. “You did that for me?”
She frowned petulantly. “I wanted to prove to you that I wasn’t such a good girl. I wanted you to know that I was a woman who had needs. I can’t believe this,” she protested. “How could you not know how much I love you?”
He looked amused by her confession, but still confused by his own feelings. “I guess I’ve been afraid to trust my instincts where you’re concerned.”
“Afraid? I can’t believe you’re admitting that.”
He pulled her closer, leaving nothing to chance when it came to his feelings. He wanted her to know how he felt. There was no way to miss it. He was fully, undeniably aroused.
“I don’t want there to be any more deceptions between me and the people I love.”
Beth faltered. She had to tell him.
“The truth is,” he confessed, “I wasn’t going to tell you how I felt. I’d planned to go back to Chicago and put it all, including you, behind me. You belong here, I could see that. You love your work. I didn’t want to ask you to choose.”
She stilled. “What changed your mind?”
“Life is too short and I love you too much. I’m not spending the rest of my life without you unless it’s your choice. It won’t be mine.”
Beth wanted to shout her happiness to the world. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him senseless. But she couldn’t…not until she’d told him.
“I have been considering that job offer,” she ventured. “I’d planned to fly to Chicago next week and do the interview.”
“You’d do that for me?” He looked so genuinely worried, and yet so hopeful.
“I’d do it for us. I love you, Zach. There is no other choice. Did you think I couldn’t deal with change? I’m an adult, I can adapt.”
“But your mother told my mother that you hated city life and that you never wanted to go back to it.”
“I hated my life in Indianapolis because my marriage was falling apart. It had nothing to do with the city. I didn’t want to go back to my old life, Zach, not the city itself.”
“So staying here isn’t a priority?”
How many ways did he want her to say it? “I love it here, yes, that’s true. There are lots of things I prefer about small-town living over city life. But, I don’t hate the city. I’ll get used to it. The main thing is, that’s where you are.”
He kissed her. It went on forever. She could feel his yearning…his need. He’d been through so much. Now he wanted her reassurance. And she couldn’t give it to him completely just yet.
When he drew back they were both breathless. “I love you. I don’t want to leave without you.”
“There’s just one other thing,” she said solemnly. “You might feel differently when I tell you.”
He watched her intently, but his expression didn’t grow guarded. He trusted her. Her heart skipped a beat with the emotion crowding her chest. She prayed this would be good news in his opinion. The fact that he wanted her in his life was a far cry from wanting children. He might not want children at all…or, at least, not anytime soon.
“Tell me,” he urged. “Whatever it is, we’ll find a way to work it out.”
The sweetne
ss of his words touched her. “We’re pregnant.”
“What?”
Uncertainty trickled through her. “That first time…well, I conceived.”
“You’re going to have a baby?” He gave his head a little shake. “How can you know this already?”
“After we’d…well, you know…done it, I realized that I was probably ovulating—”
He shook his head again. “You don’t take the pill or something?”
She moistened her lips. “No. I hadn’t been with anyone in over a year—”
“A year?” He looked positively stunned.
“I told you my marriage was falling apart and…” She shrugged. “Until you…”
“Go on,” he encouraged, though he looked a tad uncertain.
She mustered her courage and went on. “Anyway, knowing what I knew about my cycle and not wanting any surprises later I had a blood test done. The hormone HCG shows up within days of conception.”
“You’re sure?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry, Zach. I didn’t—”
A totally idiotic look claimed his face. “I’m going to be a daddy.” He kissed her. “We have to tell somebody. Our mothers.” He grinned from ear to ear. “We have to tell them.”
Beth was the one who needed reassurances now. “Wait. What are you saying here?”
He cupped her face in his hands. “I’m saying that I want to marry you.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m saying that I want you to come back to Chicago with me and help me find the perfect house where we can raise our baby.”
“You’re sure about all this?” She held on to her heart a second longer.
“Absolutely positive.”
“Then, yes. Let’s do it.” She gave herself completely to him then, heart and soul. She pressed her lips to his in proof of her declaration.
“We should find some place where we won’t be interrupted,” he murmured between kisses. “I want to consummate this deal right away.”
“I know just the place.”
Two minutes later, Beth had locked the door to the rarely used first floor doctor’s lounge and Zach was using his mouth and hands to show her just what she could expect out of their future together.
