The Minnesota Candidate

by Nicholas Antinozzi

  “I should be asking you the same thing.”

  “You know what I’m doing. I’m going crazy. I’ve got to know what’s inside that place.”

  “I know, I’m going crazy, too.”

  They walked into the bedroom and began searching. The bed was made and the room was neat and clean. After a two minute search, Marie found the key ring inside one of Shari’s running shoes. She jingled them, tantalizingly. Doris smacked her lips and strode over to investigate. “Good work,” she said. “We make a pretty good team, huh?”

  “When we work together,” said Marie. “Now, be quiet going down those stairs.”

  “Why bother?” asked Lumpy, who stood just outside the bedroom door.

  “Yeah, we’re already awake,” said Steve.

  “Go back to bed,” roared Doris. “You’re not invited to this party!”

  “Yeah,” snapped Marie. “Go back to bed! You boys are pissing me off!”

  “That’s just too bad,” said Lumpy, crossing his arms at the doorway. “We’re going in there, whether you like it or not.”

  “That’s right,” said Steve. “We knew what you two were up to. All we had to do was wait… well, we didn’t have to wait long.”

  “Nope, we certainly didn’t.”

  Doris and Marie stared at each other, apple-faced, but defeated. Without saying another word, the four of them walked downstairs to the patio door. With Doris and Marie leading the way, Lumpy and Steve followed along in the early morning light at a safe distance. They left a trail in the dew-covered grass, but they weren’t the first to have crossed the lawn. Marie pointed to the footprints in the lawn. “I wonder what she was doing over here?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” said Doris. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

  “Looks like she made a ocouple trips.”

  Doris turned to Lumpy and Steve. “Were you two already over here?”

  Steve shook his head. “No, why do you ask?”

  “Because, you idiot, there are footprints leading over to the big house.”

  “How could we tell with you leading the way?” asked Lumpy.

  “Just shut up,” said Marie.

  They continued following the footprints up to where they disappeared at the driveway. Marie and Doris walked shoulder-to-shoulder, while Steve and Lumpy tagged along like a couple of toddlers. They climbed the wide staircase and the women froze when they saw the door. Looping from the iron door handle to one of the concrete pillars, and back again, was a heavy chain. The chain was stretched tight and the links were connected together by the grandfather of all padlocks. “Son of a bitch,” grunted Doris.

  There was a note taped to the door, it read HA HA. Marie read it out loud.

  “I don’t think this is funny at all,” said Lumpy.

  “Me either,” agreed Steve.

  “Will you two just shut up?” asked Doris. “I’m trying to think, here.”

  Marie grabbed the padlock and gave it a tub. The big brass lock barely moved. “We’re going to have to cut the chain,” she said.

  “I dunno about that,” said Steve, “won’t Shari be mad?”

  “She’s going to be mad no matter what we do,” said Doris. “Get over to that garage and find us something to cut this chain with.”

  “Okay, don’t have a cow about it,” muttered Lumpy. “Come on, Steve.”

  Doris and Marie stood on the marble landing and fumed, as their two nephews lit cigarettes walked back across the lawn. “Give me a cigarette,” said Doris.

  “I’m out of cigarettes.”

  “That’s just great.”

  “Don’t you have any back at the house?”

  “We smoked the last ones last night. I told you that.”

  “No, you certainly did not tell me that. I remember things like that.”

  Doris stared at Shari’s note and felt as if the door was laughing at her. She began to pace. Already, things were starting to fall apart. There was a big chain on the door and they were out of cigarettes. She stared up at the brick mansion and wondered what would happen next. That was when she noticed the red light blinking on the alarm system. She pointed to it. “Was that thing blinking yesterday?”

  Marie walked over to investigate. “Oh shit,” she grumbled, “the power must be back on.”

  Doris turned to face the little house. Sure enough, she spotted a light on in one of the bedrooms. “Well, it’s a good thing we still have the code book.”

  Marie stared down at her feet. “Actually,” she muttered, “we don’t have it. I burned it while we were stuck down in that hole. I know you saw me do it.”

  “You did what?”

  “Yeah, I burned the stinkin’ book that the codes were written in.”

  “Did you memorize them?”

  “Hell no, did you expect me to read them and burn them at the same time?”

  “Well, this is just great.”

  Marie headed to the stairs. “Maybe she has them written down in more than one place. We have to look, it’s our only hope. I’m not going to jail.”

  Doris followed her down the stairs and onto the driveway. Wordlessly, they trudged across the wet lawn and onto the driveway to Shari and Tom’s house. Doris felt a headache coming on. They found Lumpy and Steve in front of the garage, playing a game of badminton without a net. Doris stuck her hands on her hips. “What the hell is this? I thought we told you guys to find something to cut that chain?”

  “We looked and there ain’t anything that will work,” said Steve.

  “See for yourself,” said Lumpy, whacking the shuttlecock high into the air.

  “Good one,” said Steve.

  Marie walked over to where Steve stood and she jerked away his racquet. She then swatted him in the face with it, as if he were a fly. He yelped and ran away. Marie then turned to face Lumpy. “Get over here,” she growled.

  “I don’t see what you have to get so mad about,” he said, we didn’t put that chain on the door. Maybe Shari will let us in if we ask real nice?”

  Marie dropped the racquet and held out her hand. “Just give me a couple cigarettes.”

  Lumpy nodded and reached into his shirt pocket. He shook out two menthols and he handed them over. Marie snarled at the menthols, but she took them without hesitation. She then offered one to Doris, who did exactly the same thing. They lit their cigarettes and smoked them in the cool morning air. Steve and Lumpy resumed their game, but far away from the women. “I think we should just put the keys back in that shoe,” said Doris. “There isn’t going to be another code book and I don’t feel like going on another wild goose chase. I’m getting a headache.”

  Marie took a long puff on her cigarette. “You and your headaches,” she said, exhaling smoke as she talked. “I wish you could feel the pain I go through, that would sure teach you something about pain.”

  “You don’t have any pain. You’re just an old pain in the ass.”

  “I do have pain. I have a bad back and bad knees and elbows. I also have a bad hip and a toothache. Don’t talk to me about pain.”

  “Why do you always do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “Why do you always have to one-up me? If I hurt, you always hurt worse. If I’m mad, you always get madder. If I talk loud, you scream. Why do you do that?”

  Marie seemed to consider this. “I don’t do that,” she said.

  “Yes, you do.”

  “Well, I don’t mean to do it. I’m sorry about your headache, okay? Do you want an Oxycontin or two? That’ll kick it in the ass. I have a new bottle in my purse.”

  Doris nodded her head and smiled. “Thank you,” she said, “that would be nice.”

  Marie dropped her cigarette and she mashed it under her shoe. “Come on, I’ll make us both a nice cup of coffee and maybe even a little breakfast.”

  “Wait a minute,” said Doris, suspiciously. “Why are you being nice to me?”

  Marie laughed at that. “Do you know how much work it i
s to stay mad all the time? Don’t you ever get tired of it?”

  Doris nodded her head. “I know what you mean and I do get tired of it. I think it just gets to be a habit.”

  They began walking up to the patio door, just as the badminton game reached the lakeshore. Lumpy whacked the shuttlecock high into the air and Steve charged after it, going up to his knees into the lake. Both men laughed as if this was the funniest thing that had ever happened. “Those two are nuts,” grunted Marie.

  “My Tommy would never do that,” said Doris. “I hope Shari finds him.”

  “I’m sure Tommy is fine. Don’t go worrying about him.”

  They stepped in through the patio door to a ringing telephone. Marie walked over to it and checked the number on the caller ID. “Do you know anyone named Kindersley?” she asked.

  “Alice Kindersley is my neighbor.”

  “That’s the one. Do you want me to answer it?”

  “No, I don’t have anything to say to her. Once she gets going, she’ll talk your ear off.”

  “I know the type,” said Marie, taking her purse off the back of the dining room chair. She set it on the table and began to rummage through it.

  Doris turned and gazed down to the lake. “Oh my,” she said, “the boys are out swimming in their clothes. I didn’t think the water seemed that warm.”

  “It’s not warm at all. I stuck my feet in it last night and damn near froze my tootsies off. I’m telling ya, Doris, those two are just bonkers.”

  “Still, it does look like fun. Do you remember going swimming and how much fun we used to have?”

  Marie found her prescription bottle and she held it up to her nose. She frowned. “That’s funny, I just got this bottle.”

  “What’s so funny about it?”

  Marie twisted open the cap and dumped the pills out onto the table. She then began to count. “Son of a bitch,” she grumbled. “There are only twenty pills.”

  “That’s more than enough. Can I have two?”

  Marie flung two of the pills across the table. “There is supposed to be thirty in here. Don’t you see where I’m going with this?”

  Doris caught the pills before they scattered to the floor. She then began walking into the kitchen. “If you’re suggesting that I took them,” she said, “you’re way out of line.”

  Savagely, Marie shook her head. She pointed out the patio door to the lake. “Not you, stupid, I’m talking about them. They must have taken five of my pills, apiece!”

  “Oh my,” exclaimed Doris, as she continued walking to the kitchen. She wanted to take the painkillers before Marie changed her mind. She walked quickly to the refrigerator and she dug out a bottle of water. She swallowed down the pills and washed them down with a satisfying drink. She then returned to the living room. She found Marie slumped in a chair. “I’ve never taken Oxycontin before. Are they strong?”

  Marie looked up at her and she began to laugh. “Are you kidding me?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Have you ever heard the term hillbilly heroin?”

  “Oh dear, yes, I have heard the term. I just didn’t know what it meant.”

  “You’ll know exactly what it means in a little while. Wait until I get my hands on those two clowns. I’m going to ring their necks. Give me some of that water.”

  Doris handed Marie her bottle of water and watched as she took three of the pills from the tabletop. “I guess when you’re in Rome, you do what the Romans do,” she said, tossing back the pills and washing them down.

  The telephone rang again and Doris walked over to it. “Alice Kindersley,” she grumbled. “I wonder what she wants?”

  “Why don’t you answer it and find out?”

  Doris stared at the telephone and shook her head.

  Chapter 19

  Shari was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, she could feel it. She reached speeds of over 100 MPH on her way back home; until she passed a cop and she slowed down and set the cruise control. Thankfully, the cop either didn’t have his radar on or he didn’t care. Shari turned on the news, but could only take so much of it. All of it seemed bad. She shut off her radio and drove with her window down. The chill of the morning air felt good on her hot skin.

  After their Phoenix had risen, it had quickly returned to the ashes. Shari had cried angry tears at the sight of it. At first, she thought that Tom must have died in the fire, but then she looked for the Mercedes and found that it was gone. Where had he gone? Shari didn’t know if he was in the hospital or if he was staying with one of his relatives. Her only thought was to drive home and wait for him.

  There was little traffic, but Shari was happy to see that most of it was truck traffic. That meant the supply chain was up and running. She even spotted some open stores on her route back home. She decided to make a quick stop at her local market. She peeled into the lot and slammed on her brakes. Shari grabbed her purse and walked inside. There were only a couple other patrons in the store and Shari forced herself to smile at them. The shelves seemed to be reasonably well stocked, which surprised her. She walked back to the meat section and chose four packages of New York strip steaks. She walked up to the checkout and handed her a credit card. Shari was sure the young female clerk would shake her head, but she took Shari’s card and swiped it.

  And the register spit out a receipt. The clerk handed it to Shari to sign.

  This made her feel much better. She took her sack of meat over to the ATM, but she found that it was out of order. Shari sighed; at least her plastic was working again. She walked back out to her car and she headed home. When she pulled up to the gate, Shari found out that the power had returned. She was happy for that.

  Shari parked in the garage and shut off the ignition. She put her keys into her purse and she grabbed both it and the grocery bag and she climbed out of the car. Down at the lake, she saw Steve and Lumpy had decided to take a morning swim. She thought that was odd, but she knew that both of them were in bad need of a bath. They waved at her and she did her best to wave back. She walked inside through the patio door. Doris and Marie were seated on the floor in front of the television, watching Saturday morning cartoons. Shari stood there and watched the women watching the television. They hadn’t noticed her walk inside, they were too busy laughing.

  Confused, Shari walked into the kitchen and put the steaks into the refrigerator. From out in the living room came the sound of uproarious laughter. On the counter sat an open bottle of wine. Angrily, Shari picked it up. She knew it was just after seven in the morning and who drank at that hour? She stared at the bottle and then she raised it to her lips. Why not?

  She half expected to find the women trying to break in to her parent’s house. But as she drove by the big house, one look up at the chain told her all she needed to know. “Thank God for cartoons,” she muttered to herself. She took another swig of the warm Pinot Grigio and she walked back into the dining room. “Has anyone called?”

  The heads of both women snapped backwards. They turned to face Shari and they gave her a strange look, as if she had walked into the wrong house. “Did what?” asked Doris.

  “Did anyone call?”

  “Did we call you what?” asked Marie. “We didn’t call you anything.”

  Doris shook her head. “No, we certainly didn’t.”

  Shari ignored them and walked over to the telephone. She scrolled through the caller ID. “Who is Alice Kindersley?”

  “She’s my neighbor,” said Doris. “You don’t want to talk to her. She’ll gnaw your ear off.”

  Shari stared at the number. “Why was she calling here? Did you give her my telephone number?”

  “I don’t even know your phone number. Now, do you mind? We’re trying to watch Scooby Doo.”

  Shari left the women and she ran up the stairs. She thought they were drunk, which would explain the two fools out in the lake. She strode into her bedroom and she locked the door. She sat down on the bed and picked up the telephone, redialing the myst
erious Alice Kindersley.

  A moment later, Shari was charging out the patio door. Doris and Marie were out there, digging in the ashtray. She never said where she was going and they never asked. Shari hopped into her car and quickly sped away.

  Tom hung up the telephone and returned to the table. He felt better now that he had talked to Shari. The conversation had been brief and straight to the point. Tom was glad for that. He didn’t want to lie to her, especially not in front of Mrs. Kindersley.

  “Would you like another cup of coffee, Tommy?”

  “No, thank you,” said Tom, placing the palm of his hand over the top of his cup.

  “It sure is a small world. Why, it seems to get smaller each day, doesn’t it?”

  Tom nodded his head and prepared himself for another twenty minute story. If the traffic was light, Mrs. Kindersley would only have enough time to tell two of them.

  “Do you remember my younger sister, Norma?”

  “Sure I do, she passed away about four years ago. She was a scientist, wasn’t she?”

  “You have a good memory. She was murdered five years ago and Norma was a microbiologist.”

  “I didn’t know she was murdered,” said Tom. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Oh, officially she died of a massive stroke, but I never believed that story for a second. Tommy, do you know who Norma worked for?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Are you sure about that? Look me in the eye and tell me.”

  Tom stiffened in his chair and stared Mrs. Kindersley right in the eye. “I have absolutely no idea who your sister worked for or what the heck you’re talking about.”

  The old woman held his gaze for a long second, and then she sipped her coffee and smiled. “And do you know what?” she asked. “I believe you. Tell me something else. What do you know about your new wife’s parents?”

  “Well, they’re dead and they had a lot of money. She doesn’t like to talk about them. Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you their names.”

  “Interesting… I suppose I should have expected as much.”

  “Are you trying to tell me something?”