The Cowboy's Easter Family Wish

by Lois Richer

  Focus on your job!

  “I don’t want to ride this dumb old horse.” Noah’s bottom lip jutted out in a fashion that said he would not be persuaded otherwise.

  “Oh.” Jesse rubbed his chin. “How come?” He kept his tone even, conversational. “Would you rather have a different horse than Amos?”

  “No.” Noah averted his dark brown eyes. “I don’t like horses,” he said firmly.

  “Because you’re afraid of them?” Jesse guessed, in a quiet tone so his classmates couldn’t overhear.

  Noah inclined his head just slightly.

  “But you come to Wranglers Ranch all the time and there are always horses here.”

  “I don’t go near them. Dad’s rule was to stay away from animals. Horses are dangerous.” Noah crossed his arms over his thin chest protectively.

  “They can be if you don’t know how to treat them, but that’s why you’re here. To learn.” Jesse prayed for wisdom to coax away Noah’s fear. “In the Bible David said, ‘When I am afraid I will put my trust in You.’ That’s a good thing to do, don’t you think?”

  “I guess.” The boy didn’t look convinced.

  “I hope you’ll at least try to ride Amos.” Jesse employed his most pitiful tone.

  “Why?” Noah frowned at him.

  “Because if you don’t he’s going to be very disappointed.”

  “Horses don’t get disappointed. They don’t have feelings.” Noah scoffed.

  “Are you kidding me? Horses are very sensitive. Trust me, when the other horses get their treat for doing a good job here today and Amos doesn’t get his, he’ll be very disappointed.” Jesse sighed and shook his head. “I sure don’t like to see that, because Amos is such a good horse. He wants to do his job, but you won’t let him.”

  Confused, Noah glanced from Jesse to his mother, who nodded encouragingly.

  “Couldn’t you at least try? Just so Amos can get a treat?” Jesse wheedled. “He’s an old horse and he really loves his treats.”

  “Like s’mores?” Noah rolled his eyes.

  “Nope. Horses can’t eat chocolate.” Jesse could see Noah was relenting, so he pretended nonchalance as he tilted back on his heels, stroked Amos’s flank and pushed his point a little harder. “After this class each horse that works well gets half an apple and three carrots. Amos is real partial to apples. He can smell ’em from a long way away. Be a shame if he didn’t get his apple, don’t you think? But I guess if you’re too scared to try...” He let that dangle.

  “I don’t want Amos to miss his apple.” Noah glanced at the other kids. “I guess I could brush him like the others are doing.”

  “You could.” Jesse pulled the currying tools out of a sack hanging over the rail. “Here you go. Nice and gentle, as if you were brushing your hair.” He got Noah started, then turned to wink at Maddie, whose smile showed both concern and relief. “You’re doing great,” he praised, wondering why resurrecting Maddie’s smile mattered so much.

  His other two charges worked harmoniously, gibing each other as they groomed their mounts. All three kids seemed to grow increasingly more comfortable with their animals until Tanner blew his whistle signalling the end of that part of the lesson. Jesse could almost feel Noah’s tension build.

  “Don’t worry,” he murmured, resting his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “We’re just going to walk the horses around. So they get used to you.” And you to them.

  But when Noah didn’t follow instructions, Jesse firmed up his directions.

  “The rule is to lead your horse on the left side. Because it’s the way Amos has learned, and doing things the same way makes it more comfortable for him,” he added, forestalling the question forming on the boy’s lips. “Keep Amos close to you and stay near his shoulder.” He nodded when Noah stepped tentatively forward. “Good. But don’t wrap the lead-rope around your wrist or arm. Hold it like this.”

  “He’s too close.” Noah jerked away, inadvertently tugging on the reins. Amos obligingly shifted sideways, which brought a yelp from the boy. “He’s going to step on me!”

  “No, he isn’t. Listen to me, Noah.” Jesse intervened, positioning himself between boy and animal. He crouched down to look into Noah’s dark and fearful gaze. “Every horse learns the same set of rules. Amos knows all of them and he knows exactly what he’s supposed to do when you pull on the reins. But if you don’t follow the rules he’s learned, he can’t understand what you want. His rules are what tell him how he should behave.”

  “But—”

  “You have to follow Amos’s rules, Noah. Not yours.” Jesse could see he wasn’t making headway.

  “It’s the same as your rules, honey.” Maddie’s gentle voice from the sidelines brought calm to the tense atmosphere. “Your dad taught you not to lie. If he had suddenly asked you to lie, you’d be mixed up, wouldn’t you? Because the rule you learned is no lying. This horse learned his horse rules and you have to follow them so you don’t mix him up. Do you understand?”

  Noah frowned, but his head jerked up and down.

  “Listen to Jesse. If you do what he tells you, you’ll be fine. You can trust him, Noah,” she whispered. Her wide-eyed gaze locked with Jesse’s.

  So she trusted him? Around horses at least.

  The rest of the lesson passed without incident, but Noah did not relax, nor did he become more comfortable with his horse, though Jesse’s other pupils seemed to gain confidence. By the time they were finished, Jesse felt drained and ineffective. He was here to work with these kids, but wasn’t succeeding. Lord, how in the world do I help Noah?

  When the class ended everyone went to sample Sophie’s cookies and juice, but Jesse stayed with the horses, leading them toward the barn as he pondered his failure.

  “Noah didn’t do very well, did he?” Maddie trailed behind him, her voice soft, almost apologetic. “I’m sorry. I know you tried.”

  “It will take time. Noah hasn’t been around animals that much.” Jesse smiled at her. “He doesn’t see them as much more than wild beasts.”

  “Liam’s doing, I’m afraid.” She walked beside him, her gaze on something distant. “He had this sermon he loved to preach about God giving subjugation of the animals to men. I used to wonder if perhaps...” Her voice died away.

  “What?” Jesse’s curiosity bloomed.

  “Well, I wondered if he’d once been attacked and maybe become afraid,” she murmured. “A parishioner offered to give Noah a puppy on his second birthday. Liam forbade it. He said God never meant for animals to be kept in a house.”

  So she’d bought the boy a dog for a Christmas gift hoping to normalize his childhood? Jesse handed over the horses to Lefty as he thought about that. He’d struggled hard to understand where Noah was coming from, yet he couldn’t seem to get through to the boy. Again he considered asking Maddie to tell him more about Noah’s father so he could figure out a way to counteract the kid’s fears.

  “Maybe you’re right.” He hesitated, then plunged ahead. “I’m really struggling to get a grip on what’s going on in Noah’s head, so I can help him enjoy the horses. Can you tell me anything else about your husband that might explain what he taught Noah?”

  Maddie’s face blanched. She gulped and blinked twice before clearing her throat. When she finally looked at him, Jesse was appalled by the dead look in her usually lively green eyes.

  “Um, I don’t know.” There was a world of pain underlying that whispered response.

  She’s been through enough. Don’t hurt her anymore, some voice inside his head ordered.

  “Liam was very firm in his convictions.” Her hesitant words warned Jesse that Maddie was about to say something important. “Sometimes that made him difficult to live with.” She stared at the ground now, obviously feeling her way through a vortex of emotions. Then she lifted her
head and looked directly at him. “I prayed all the time for God to help me be a good wife to Liam, but I wasn’t. Why didn’t God help me, Jesse?”

  He couldn’t answer. Not because he didn’t know all the right words a minister should offer a hurting soul. Not because he couldn’t cite a hundred verses that were often used to do just that. And not because her anguish didn’t touch his heart.

  Because it did. Deeply.

  But Jesse felt that anything he said would only trivialize her pain. He understood her feelings of abandonment, had suffered them himself. He still searched for his own understanding of God’s ways and hadn’t yet found an answer that satisfied his questions.

  But he had to say something. He owed her that much.

  “I don’t know why, Maddie.” Feeling utterly ineffectual, he mouthed the one truth he still clung to. “All I know is that God cares for us with a love we can’t fathom. What He does, He does for our good and for His kingdom. Keep talking to Him. That’s what’s most important.”

  Did the hope that had flared in those expressive eyes dim? Jesse chafed against his feelings of failure and vowed to spend more time seeking God’s answers so he could help Maddie and Noah.

  And himself.

  “I’d better go. Noah will be leaving with his class and I need to get back to the store.” Her words reminded him of his grandmother’s earlier call.

  “You have to work late again?” He already knew the answer, but he waited for her nod. “Why?”

  “One of our employees was admitted to hospital last night for an emergency appendectomy. She was supposed to work this evening. I need to cover her shift.” Maddie’s tired face told him she was not looking forward to her extended workday.

  “Is there no one you could hire to cover her absence?” Emma had spoken of someone named Talia, but Jesse wasn’t going to suggest her. Maddie was the manager, and in Emma’s absence, hiring decisions were up to her. He wanted her to feel confident, not undermined, and she would feel weakened if she learned Emma had called him.

  “We have a couple of staff who work extra hours when we need them. I suppose I could contact one to cover, but it means changing the schedules, and I don’t like to do that without Emma’s approval. It might increase her expenses and change the benefit structure her bookkeeper has in place.” Maddie sighed. “I haven’t had time to speak with her personally about it so I think I’ll just fill in until I can okay it with Emma.”

  Maddie nibbled on her bottom lip. It was something she did whenever she was unsure of herself, and though Jesse found it endearing, he also agreed with Emma’s comment that this was a time for Maddie to make a managerial decision.

  “Can I say something?” he began, praying for wisdom and the right words. “Gran is depending on you to run the store. And you’re doing a terrific job. But what will happen if you take on too much, wear yourself out or get sick and can’t be there for Emma? Who will keep Quilt Essentials going?”

  “I never thought of that.” She frowned and her shoulders slumped, as if she’d done something wrong.

  “Gran once told me that the hardest thing she had to learn about running her business was learning to delegate. She said she started out very hands-on, managing every detail, until she realized that her staff needed to feel included. She said she finally realized that the best way to ensure a business’s success is to make sure your employees feel like it’s their business, too, so they will keep it operating when you can’t be there.” He waited, trying to gauge Maddie’s reaction.

  As she thought it through, her face slowly cleared of the worry and apprehension that had filled it. Finally, her sunny smile broke through.

  “Thank you, Jesse. You always seem to have the answers I need.” Maddie pulled out her new cell phone.

  Too bad he didn’t have the answers he needed.

  “Hi, Talia. This is Maddie McGregor. I’m wondering if you can work this evening and cover Abby’s shifts until further notice. She’s in hospital. You can?” Her face blazed with joy. “Thank you so much. I know we haven’t often worked together, but I hope we can get to know each other much better over the next few weeks.” She closed the phone with a huge sigh.

  “Sounds like you have tonight off,” he said with a smile, and checked his watch. “I don’t. It’s puppy feeding time. Then I’ll load them up and get home. Emma’s roses need watering and weeding.”

  “Noah and I could help,” she offered. “He talks a lot about the puppies. I think he is beginning to love them.”

  “I wouldn’t turn down an offer of help.” Nor an evening spent with Maddie.

  Jesse knew he was going to have to refocus and stop involving himself in her life, but he owed it to Gran to help her friends where he could. Didn’t he?

  And as a Wranglers employee he had to do his best with Noah, too. Even if he didn’t have a clue how to do that.

  * * *

  “It’s really nice of you to make us dinner again, Jesse.” Maddie loaded the dishwasher with the few dishes they’d used. “I never imagined it was so easy to make soup.”

  “It was nice of you and Noah to help with the puppies’ feedings, weeding and watering Emma’s rose garden, and with chopping vegetables,” Jesse replied with a grin. “As long as you have vegetables you can always make soup.” He grimaced when Noah jumped three of his checkers and waited to be crowned.

  “I’m good at this game.” Noah’s grin quickly faded. “But I’m not good with Amos.” He turned his head to glance at her. “I shouldn’t go to Wranglers Ranch with our class anymore. Right, Mom?”

  “I don’t know about that.” Maddie pretended to think about it, wishing Jesse would jump in with some advice. But Noah was her son. It was up to her. “I don’t think it’s good to try something once and then quit. You need to give riding a fair chance.”

  “But I don’t like it.” He glowered at her.

  “You didn’t like the puppies at first, either,” she reminded him quietly.

  “Horses are different.”

  “Why?” She sat down at the table beside him, nursing her cup of tea.

  “I dunno.” Noah skipped his man across the board to win the game. “Do you want to play again?”

  “No, thanks. Losing twice is enough.” Jesse finished his own drink. “It’s a gorgeous evening. Why don’t we sit on Gran’s deck?”

  Maddie quelled a frisson of delight at the thought of spending more time with this man she admired so much.

  “With your guitar?” Noah wore a hungry look.

  “Yep. Is that okay?” he asked, pausing for Noah’s nod before he lifted the instrument from its case.

  Maddie thought it was very okay. She loved hearing Jesse’s voice lift in the praise songs he favored.

  “I guess.” Noah followed them to the deck. He soon became riveted by Jesse’s hand movements as he strummed the strings. The song that followed was a tender, poignant song of thanks to God for His wonderful goodness.

  Maddie sat in stunned silence when Noah closed his eyes and let his head move to the rhythm of the music. Beat for beat her son’s small fingers began to mimic Jesse’s, sliding up and down the pretend neck of a guitar as if he, too, were playing. How could she have let Liam teach that worship such as this was wrong?

  Maddie fell into her own meditation on the goodness of God, marveling at the sense of connection she’d only ever heard about but now glimpsed thanks to Jesse’s music. His words voiced a complete confidence in God—a confidence that she didn’t share.

  But she yearned to. If only she could figure out how to find this sense of reverence when she was alone and feeling defeated...

  “I guess that’s enough for tonight,” Jesse murmured some time later.

  Feeling refreshed and renewed in spirit, Maddie blinked back to reality. Her glance at Noah showed that he, too, seem
ed less tense. Jesse’s song had done that for both of them.

  “I could feel the music,” Noah exclaimed.

  “Really? Show me.” Jesse handed him the guitar.

  After two false starts, Noah pursed his lips.

  “Close your eyes now and try again,” Jesse suggested.

  Noah began again. In a jerky rhythm at first, but then evening out, her son reproduced the same haunting melody Jesse had played, but with a wistful edge. The night seemed to fall silent around them and even the stars seemed entranced by the boy’s efforts. Maddie’s heart squeezed with pride as he caressed the strings, coaxing every note until the last one died away into the darkness.

  “That was wonderful, honey,” she whispered, dashing away her tears because tears bothered him. Jesse had done this. For them. “So beautiful. How did you do it?”

  “I dunno.” Noah’s face showed his own disbelief. “I just did what Jesse did and the song came.”

  “God’s given you a gift for music, Noah,” Jesse said, his voice filled with admiration. “I’ve never before met anyone who could pick up a tune after hearing it once or twice, let alone on an instrument they didn’t know. You must develop your talent, practice and get better.”

  “Like it says on the barn at Wranglers, right?” Noah grinned. “Fan Into Flame the Gift That is Within You.”

  “Exactly.” Jesse’s gaze met Maddie’s. “Each of us has a unique talent from God. Yours might be making music. I think your mom’s gift is quilting and a heart for people.”

  It was so wonderful to be noticed, to be appreciated. What an amazing, caring man he was to take such an interest in them.

  “Don’t lock away your gift because of rules, Noah.”

  “You mean I should disobey my dad?” In a flash her son’s expression changed to one of confusion. He glanced at Maddie with disapproval. “Like Mom did?”

  “I don’t think your dad knew you had this gift, Noah.” A smile played across the former youth pastor’s lips. “If he had I’m sure he would never have said what he did about music. I’m sure that if your dad knew that you could make the kind of worship music that helps people talk to God then he would want you to play it as often as you could. I think he’d understand and I think God understands about guitar music, too, because you’re using it to praise Him and that’s never wrong.”