by Lois Richer
Tears welled in her lovely eyes as she gazed at him. Tears and something else, something Jesse was afraid to believe he was seeing, something he was afraid to trust again—love?
“Before you came Noah was so reclusive. He shut out the world, would hardly speak to anyone, let alone interact. Everything had to fit into his rigid rules.” She held his face between her palms. “I’d almost given up on him changing. Until you.” Her smile made his heart gallop. “You refused to let Noah keep his walls up. You kept breaking through them, forcing him to see the world and to see good. I will never forget you did that, Jesse.”
“But Noah’s missing,” he said, when he could get his voice back.
“Yes.” She nodded. “And I don’t know why. I only know that if God is God in my life, I have to let Him be in charge right now.” She pushed Jesse’s Stetson off his head and ran her fingers through his hair. “Children can’t always understand why their parents do what they do. Neither can we always understand our Father’s ways. But God’s in control, Jesse. He will do what is best for my son.”
The calm way she spoke, the peace in her green eyes, the gentle way she touched him—all of these told Jesse that Maddie had undergone a spiritual transformation.
“You prayed and asked God to work in your ministry and He has. Tanner told me that you touched the lives of a lot of kids in Colorado. And then God led you here, because He works all things together for those who love Him,” she reminded him. “Even bad things, things we don’t like, things we don’t understand. So either we trust Him or we fuss and complain and fight to understand. And stay frustrated.”
“How did you get to be so smart?” Jesse wove his arms around her narrow waist, loving the way her lips curved up in that Maddie smile that no one else could copy.
“I had your grandmother as my coach,” she said with a wink. “But think about it. What if God asked you to stay at Wranglers Ranch? Could you live with that, do your best and trust God to make it work?”
As Jesse stood holding Maddie in his arms, truth dawned, a truth he hadn’t been willing to accept before now.
Be still and know that I am God.
God didn’t owe him any answers. He was God. That had to be enough. Either Jesse trusted Him and did whatever work he was sent, or he kept trying to understand what wasn’t his to comprehend. In sudden clarity he realized that if he hadn’t been forced to leave Colorado he’d never have come to Tucson, would never have met Maddie, never felt this heart-pounding reaction to her.
Never known what real love was.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
Time to get to work for the Lord and leave the results to God.
“You are a very wise woman, Maddie McGregor. And I love you.” He kissed her squarely on the lips, not caring a hoot if Tanner or Lefty or even Gran was watching them. “Your heart is pure and honest, and you see God as I haven’t been seeing Him for a long time. I know it seems soon. I know I should have led up to this, done things differently. But I didn’t. That doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”
“That’s good,” she said demurely, fiddling with his collar before she looked at him from between her lashes. “Because I love you, too. I didn’t want to. Romance never turned out the way I expected so I thought I’d just shut love out of my world. But I don’t want to shut you out. You’re what makes my world fun and interesting and happy. I love you, Jesse.”
They shared a sweet kiss that didn’t last nearly long enough but soothed the hearts of both, for now. Then Jesse drew back and bowed his head.
“God, thank You for Maddie and her love. I don’t know why she loves me, but I don’t have to. I’ll gladly take whatever You give me.” He opened his eyes to smile at her. “But now will You please help us find Noah? Because we love him and we need him with us to make our family complete. Thank You for caring for him and for us. Amen.”
“Amen,” Maddie whispered in a teary voice, but her smile was happy. She held out her hand. “Let’s go find him, Jesse.”
They’d gone about two feet when Jesse heard a noise.
“Listen,” he whispered. “Someone’s in that old shed. Crying.”
“It’s Noah.” Maddie hurried forward and yanked on the weathered door, which creaked open. “Honey, are you in here?”
“Go ’way.”
“We can’t do that. We’ve been looking all over for you,” Jesse said. “Your mom and I have been really worried.”
“Why?” Noah sniffed. “You tol’ me to find a quiet place and ask God about the rules.” Tears were rolling down his cheeks. “I listened and listened but I can’t hear nothing.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Maddie surged forward and wrapped her arms around him. “I love you, Noah. I don’t ever want you to hide out like this again. Everybody’s been looking for you,” she said, after she’d kissed his forehead.
Noah pulled away from her, but only a little.
“Looking...why?” he asked, his brows drawn together.
“Because you’ve been gone all night and we couldn’t find you.”
“All night?” Noah seemed confused. “Did I sleep through Easter?”
“No, honey. Easter is tomorrow. But we were very worried.” Maddie fixed her gaze on her son. “Why did you come in here, Noah? What’s been troubling you?” When he didn’t answer, she leaned closer to brush a kiss against his cheek. “Jesse and I love you. So does Emma. We care that you haven’t been happy. Can you tell us why?”
“I can’t keep Dad’s rules.” Noah burst into tears again, his agitation growing. “I tried really hard, Mom, but I can’t do it.”
“But Noah, we’ve tried to tell you that you don’t have to keep all your father’s rules.” Maddie looked to Jesse for confirmation, and he was ready.
He knew now that Noah was the reason he’d been sent here. There was something God needed him to help this child understand. Jesse had been called to be a pastor and it was about time he did his job and helped this child find the answer he craved.
“Why do you have to keep all your dad’s rules, Noah?” Jesse kept his voice low, but every sense was on high alert. He slid his hand into Maddie’s, loving that she was whispering a prayer for them all.
“’Cause I promised.” Noah sniffed.
“Promised whom?” Maddie glanced from him to Jesse, then lifted her shoulders to show her lack of understanding.
Noah’s face tightened and his dark eyes started to get that blank look. In that moment Jesse knew.
“You promised your dad, right?” The boy nodded. “When did you promise him, Noah?”
“The day he died. It was my fault he died,” Noah wailed.
“Honey, no. You weren’t even there.”
“Yes, I was, Mom. I got home from school early. I was waiting for you and I got hungry. So I hid behind that big hanging that was at the front of the church and ate an orange I had left in my lunch. But I got some of it on the hanging.” His face was a picture of misery and shame. “I tried to wash it off but it got worse, and Dad saw me. I broke his rules about not eating in the church and he was so mad. He was yelling at me and then his face got a funny look. I was really scared when he sat down on the chair, like he couldn’t stand up.”
Jesse glanced at Maddie, who was staring at Noah as if she’d never seen him before.
“And then what happened?” he coaxed gently, while Noah sobbed as if his heart would break.
“Dad said really loud, ‘Bad things happen when you break the rules. Obey.’ Then he flopped over, like this.” The boy slumped facedown to demonstrate. “I shook his arm ’cause I thought he was sleeping,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Th-that’s what made him fall off the chair and die. I killed Dad when I broke the rules.”
Noah wept uncontrollabl
y. Maddie blinked, her mouth working as if searching for the right thing to say to console her son. Jesse took her hand and squeezed it. And when she glanced at him he shook his head, knowing Noah needed to say it all, to get his secret completely out in the open. It had been festering in him for too long.
“I tried and tried to keep his rules, but I can’t. There are too many. I keep making mistakes. I’m sorry, Mom. I’m really sorry.” Noah threw himself into her arms, holding tight.
“You were mad at your mom because she said it wasn’t important to keep your dad’s rules, is that right?” Jesse nodded at Maddie’s surprised look.
“Yeah.” Noah pulled away. “I gotta keep his rules, Mom. I promised.”
Finally. Jesse couldn’t smother his grin, even though Maddie frowned at him. He leaned over to brush his lips against hers, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt what he needed to do.
He was a pastor, would always be a pastor for as long as God needed him. This was what he was created to do. Jesse inhaled, sent a silent thank-you heavenward, then got about His Father’s business.
“Listen to me, Noah.” He smiled at Maddie to reassure her then continued. “The Bible says man looks at the outward things, but God looks at your heart. That means all the rule-keeping in the world won’t help you one bit if you don’t have love in your heart. That’s what God cares about. When you have His love, you don’t need to worry about all the rules, because inside, in your heart, you’ll want to do the things that please God and He’ll help you keep His rules.”
Noah looked confused. Jesse’s heart ached for him. How he cared for this child, wanted him to be free of his guilt. How he wanted to help Noah find freedom and joy and happiness in life.
He stared at Maddie. Their precious time together would come, but for tonight he needed to focus on her son.
“I know tomorrow’s Easter,” he whispered in her ear. “And you and I have some talking to do. But I was wondering if it would be okay if Noah and I camped out in my tent tonight. I think it’s going to take some one-on-one time to help him let go of the rules.”
Maddie’s glorious smile flashed across her face even though her lovely green eyes brimmed with tears. She lifted her hand to cup his cheek.
“One more reason why I love you, Jesse Parker,” she said softly. “And yes, I think Noah would love to go camping with you.”
“Did you say camping? With me? Well, did you?” Impatient when neither his mother nor Jesse responded immediately, Noah repeated the question, then danced for joy at their response. “I’m going to tell the others. I’m going camping!”
“I love you, Jesse.”
“I love you, Maddie.”
Chapter Thirteen
It wasn’t even 6:00 a.m. but Maddie couldn’t sleep.
She pulled on her cotton housecoat and slippers, then padded to the kitchen to make coffee, unable to suppress her smile.
Thank You, God, her heart sang. Thank You for Easter, thank You for Your love and thank You for Jesse.
She stepped outside onto her deck and froze, surprised to see the love of her life already seated on her porch swing.
“Happy Easter.” Jesse rose, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her, then pressed her into the swing and knelt in front of her.
“My darling Maddie,” he said softly, as the first faint rays of sunrise peeked over the craggy mountaintops. “God put you into my life because He knew you are the perfect woman for me. I love you. I want to marry you. Not today, not even tomorrow. First I want to court you, get to know you and Noah better, maybe wait till you finish cooking class—”
“Jesse!” she giggled.
“But when the time is right for us, will you marry me, Maddie?”
“Yes,” she whispered, her heart aching. “Because I love you. You build me up and encourage me and make me stronger. Together we are whole. We can trust God with our futures because He works all things together for good. When the time is right, I’ll marry you, Jesse.”
Jesse rose and pulled her into his embrace. They exchanged kisses in a silent promise to cherish each other.
“You guys are missing the sunrise,” Noah chided. He flopped down on the deck, one arm around Cocoa’s neck, his guitar case at his feet as he studied the peach-toned sky flaming across the desert.
“Not a chance.” Maddie pulled Jesse to sit beside her on the porch swing and savor God’s latest masterpiece.
“Happy Easter!” A grin splashed across Noah’s face. “Want to hear my new song?”
“Yes,” they said together, then laughed for the pure joy of it.
“What’s your song about, son?” Maddie asked, keeping her hand tucked inside Jesse’s.
“Love.” Noah plucked a few strings on his guitar. “I’m going to sing it at your wedding.”
“You mean at the band concert today?” Jesse asked, glancing at Maddie.
“Uh-uh. That’s Kendal’s solo. This one’s for your wedding.”
“And you’re okay with us getting married, being a family?” Maddie glanced at Jesse and felt the comfort of his reassuring smile.
“Sure.” Noah nodded.
“How come?” Clinging to Maddie’s hand Jesse leaned back, waiting to see if his talk had done any good.
“Well, God brought you here ’cause He knew we needed you,” Noah explained. “I needed you to help me understand that keeping God’s rules is what matters.”
“Right.” Jesse squeezed Maddie’s hand while they waited for Noah to continue.
“And Mom needed you to help her not feel so bad about her cooking,” Noah explained in his most serious tone. “We need you to love us and you need us to love you. ’Cause God is all about love.”
“You are so right, son.” Maddie told herself not to cry.
“I’m glad God sent you for another reason, too, Jesse.”
“Really?” Maddie smiled. Noah’s flattery was making her beloved’s chest inflate. “What reason is that?”
“’Cause He knew I needed someone to show me how to make s’mores and go camping and roast hot dogs.” Noah’s grin made them both laugh. “I think we’re gonna make a good family. I figure that as long as I make sure I have love in my heart He’ll make sure you and Mom do, too.”
“You’re a very smart boy, son.” Maddie kissed the top of his head and proudly grinned at Jesse.
“Like mother, like son,” he quipped.
* * *
“You’ve always loved Easter, Jesse.” Emma smiled as he helped her into a chair beside Maddie at Wranglers Ranch, ready to share in the Easter service.
“Always,” he agreed.
“I have a hunch you’re going to enjoy this one best of all.” Emma struggled to keep her expression blasé.
“This is the beginning of many happy Easters, Gran.” He hugged her tight, so thankful she’d been praying for him his entire life.
“I gather this means you’ve figured out God’s leading and don’t require my help?” Emma’s soft chuckle as she glanced from him to Maddie and back said that, as usual, she understood.
“Maddie and I will always want your help,” he assured her.
“I should hope so since I’m the one who brought you together,” she said with a wink. “Only took a little time in hospital for the two of you to figure out what I’ve known for ages. That’s why I’ve been praying God would lead you here.”
“You—” Jesse caught Tanner’s eye and knew he had to leave. “We’ll talk about this later.” He wasted a few more minutes gawking at Maddie, still not quite believing this wonderful woman had promised to marry him.
“They need you now, Jesse. It’s going to be wonderful.” Her smile sent his heart racing. “I’ll be praying.”
Dazed with happiness he walked to the front while marveling at their creato
r. God loved mankind enough to send His only son. That was the true message of Easter. And that love was what had grounded him through the most difficult time in his life.
That love had given him Maddie.
Jesse turned, searched until he found her smiling face among the group and basked in the peace he saw there. Then he faced his band.
“Ready?” he asked sotto voce. They looked so scared. He tapped his baton on the music stand and asked again, “Ready?”
No one spoke. Was this all for naught?
Trust.
“Ready,” Noah called out.
A second later every band member responded.
“Good. Now remember, this is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice.”
Knowing Maddie would be praying through the entire concert, Jesse lifted his hand and led his students in playing the Hallelujah chorus. Deep satisfaction filled him.
Wranglers Ranch was where he belonged.
With Maddie and Noah, and any other children God sent his way.
Epilogue
At five o’clock on the longest day in June, Maddie walked down the aisle of her church on Noah’s arm. Jesse felt confident and secure in the knowledge that the woman who was walking toward him loved him as much as he loved her. Today their Easter family wish would come true.
After Noah placed Maddie’s hand in Jesse’s he stepped to one side, lifted his guitar and began to sing the beautiful song he’d first played for them on Easter morning, a song of God’s grace and love, of understanding and forgiveness and, of course, of joy.
Amid the sweet, poignant silence of its ending Noah took his seat beside Emma, whom he now also called Gran, grinning as she hugged him close.
“Noah, the rings,” Maddie reminded him in a whisper.
Noah gave the bride and groom a broad wink then put his fingers to his lips. A shrill whistle filled the sanctuary.
Gasps turned to laughter as Cocoa stepped smartly down the aisle bearing a white satin pillow with two rings tied on top. She stopped in front of the bridal couple just long enough for them to remove their rings, then raced over to sit by Noah.
